BlueLion.

I didn't want to say because I don't want to be a party-pooper... but I don't think it's going to work out. He's a quality forward that'll work well in away games when we are counter-attacking. But in games against sides that park the bus, he'll just be another Torres. That's why I'm quite keen on retaining Ba, as a physical long-ball option [Plan B]. I hope Costa proves me wrong, but I can't see him getting more than 15-20 goals at a push next season. My personal choice for a forward would be Higuain, but that would never be possible with Napoli's cunt of a president. So a more realistic option would have been Mandzukic, who is the right kind of forward we need - a penalty box poacher that has the ability to hold the ball up and is very strong in the air. Yes, Costa isn't bad at hold-up play, but he is far more direct than Mandzukic, a lot like Torres, and if he doesn't get the same sort of on-the-shoulder-of-the-last-defender service that Torres or Anelka are (or were?) accustomed to, he'll cut a very lonely figure. But he's a class act, hopefully his quality shines through. I just can't get excited because, Drogba aside, our formation has never been focused around strikers scoring goals. We rely on our midfielders to contribute 80 goals a season between them, and I can't see that changing.

I don't think I could do anything raunchy whilst wearing a thong. Too damned hairy.

Axel Witsel would be my ultimate fantasy choice. It's like the guy is hand-made for the "Essien role" - that one piece of the midfield puzzle we've yet to fill. Unless we sign Pogba instead (far more likely, though for that price I'd rather not...), it'll be another season of square pegs (Mikel, Ramires) in round holes. A 4-3-3 will be "kinder" on Ramires. In the 4-2-3-1, especially when he's played out wide, there is too much of a reliance on him actually passing the ball, which, as we all know, he is rather shit at. Rambo's strengths are his combative nature and dribbling with the ball - played in the "Essien role" (basically in a 4-3-3 you have a sitter - Matic - an attacker - Cesc - and a marauder who does a bit of both - the "Essien role) he could have a good season for us. But I'm of the belief he had a stinker of a season in 13/14 and I'm not sure if he has a future here if we make another big midfield signing. Personally I'd rather we just gave Chalobah, McEachran and Aké a bit of a go in midfield next season than splashing the cash just now. There's always January if things go tits up. Tiago looks like it's definitely happening, which I'm happy about. The bloke has basically convinced half of Atletico's team to join us. Plus he's a class act himself. Great guy with a terrific attitude and a player we let go far too early. He'll bring experience and nurture the younger players in the sqaud.

UKIP actually.

Next season, definitely up for that. Would be a pleasure, mate! Remember the last Mod who gave me cheek? Two sugars please.

Cech almost died playing for this club. That'll never be forgotten. Legend.

RACIST. BANNED.

Both were excellent. My first vacation was in Malaga, and the second was in Cornwall, in the south of England Being a quick typer helps! I have a strong ability to immediately convey what thoughts I'm thinking, and to process them into cohesive prose. So naturally when I'm writing, I'm subconsciously already pre-planning what I want to say next. Once I know what I want to say, I go about finding the words. It comes to you naturally. It's a gift and a curse, because when you can sometimes write so fluidly and effortlessly, the instant you get writer's block is the equivalent of having a sportscar with no steering wheel! But if I was to summarise on how to write a quick article: 1) Have a clear idea of what you intend to write. 2) Limit yourself to 800 words. Too much means people will give up, normally! 3) Bullet-point the 3-4 major things you want to cover. Use that as a "plan" and proceed from there. 4) Set a time limit. Work to a deadline. Good luck, and good writing! You can't ban anyone. Firstly because you don't have the actual ability to, and secondly because you don't have the stomach for it

Just use your imagination and flyyyy 1. One of my lecturers who gave me a cunt of a grade for a particular module, which meant I missed out on first-class honours in my degree by 0.5%. I'd quite happily apply a blowtorch to his face. 2. Tough one. I really don't know. I'll go with Heath Ledger, because his performance in The Dark Knight was sublime. 3. History. I liked Geography as well. 4. To be indefatigable. So I could just do what I wanted without needing to rest. 5. If I could be anywhere in the world right now... I'd like to be in Brazil to watch the World Cup and take in the atmosphere! No, after BlueLyon joined, it lost its originality. Correct. I chose history because I'm an argumentative shit, and I wanted to engage in a subject which helps you become even more analytical. A common phrase I use is that biology, chemistry and geography can tell you how the world has changed, but history is the only subject that even attempts to describe and explain why. My favourite period to study is the Crusades. Britain is a multicultural country but it is mainly Christian. The next most-popular religion is Islam. The clash of cultures is something that fascinates me in the present, so the Crusades represents that to the ultimate degree. My favourite historical figure is Raymond D'Aguilers, who was a Crusader chronicler who wrote about William of Tyre and various other prominent Church ecclesiastics during the First Crusade. Fascinating stuff. I think he pops on now and again. Hasn't he changed his name to PaulH or something? No clue. I'll tell him you asked about him, might encourage him to visit. Maybe. Is that an invite? I'd love to visit. A totally different world and culture to England. And the food is fucking fantastic. In fairness, 90% of the time I use spoiler tags. Blame your own curiosity.

They've been trying for a long time, but normally you only replace someone or something with something better - in which case I expect it to be a long while before I'm replaced. Why are you such an unfunny cunt? Leave my Sammy alone. HAHAHAHAHAHA. That was so laugh I forgot to funny. You know how I said you were next in line to be a Mod? Were being the operative word. Probably because we live in different time zones. As for my favourite poster, I've already mentioned I like Laura90, though I appreciate the contributions of every member on this site. Other favourites include SeB, Peace (not seen him in a looooong time, sadly), Fulham Broadway, and obviously myself Hey B, I miss you too! I've been very busy with my football coaching, and I've had two holidays in the space of four weeks, so hardly had chance to pop in! My personal targets for the summer window include a left-back, and another central midfielder. Someone who can play instead of Mikel, basically. With Matic and Fabregas you have two perfect midfielders for a 4-3-3. Ramires' flaws (his technical flaws especially) were highlighted in the 4-2-3-1. In a 4-3-3 he will have less passing responsibility and be given more of the "Essien role", to maraud between attack and defence, and carry the ball at pace. He's a direct player and when he's at his best he's a joy to watch. However he is rather inconsistent, and I'd like to see someone like Axel Witsel drop in as a genuine box-to-box player - but obviously that's highly doubtful. We may have to make do. As for a left-back, I'd love Alberto Moreno, but I'm keen to give our homegrown duo of PvA and Bertrand a season to prove themselves before we splurge out £20 million on a foreign star like Coentrao or Luis, as good as those players are. Favourite book - A Storm of Swords by George R.R. Martin, absolutely magnificent. He's also my favourite author, alongside Lee Child. Favourite movie is a very hard one to answer. I love Kingdom of Heaven: I'm a history freak and the Crusades is my favourite period of the past, so to see it so gloriously translated to the big screen is a joy to behold. I also love The Lord of the Rings trilogy, Chris Nolan's trilogy of Batman films, and basically any film by Ridley Scott (who did Kingdom of Heaven as well, actually) - including Alien, Prometheus, Black Hawk Down, Gladiator, Blade Runner, etc. Favourite actor... wow. Tough one. Bruce Willis, Hugh Jackman, Logan Lerman, Benedict Cumberbatch, Tom Hardy, Daniel Craig, Michael Fassbender, Eva Green, Olga Kuralenko just to name a few!

I didn't. It was never my idea. Can't remember whose it was, actually. Just kind of stuck. Depends on my mood. Good questions! I support Chelsea because of my old man. Stuck me in a Chelsea baby-grow, so I had no choice over it! Favourite ever Chelsea player has to be Sir Frank. Petr Cech is an inspiration of mine, so he has to be up there as well. He's the reason I became a goalkeeper. And Robbie di Matteo was a favourite of mine when growing up, so he's a good shout as well. The most underrated player at Chelsea right now is Salah. I think he'll pleasantly surprise a lot of people next season - he was a brilliant bit of business and I think he actually settled in rather well since January. The most underrated Chelsea player during my tenure as a supporter would probably have to be Carlo Cudicini. I don't think he was that well appreciated because of Cech's arrival, but he was a world-class keeper in his own right. At £160,000, he is, without doubt, the best signing we've ever pulled off. Dream job - tough one. I'd love to be a professional footie coach but I doubt it'll ever happen. I'm going down the teaching route, so maybe one day I can be a university lecturer. One hopes! Got quite a few members on here that I like. I get along with a lot of members, especially BluesChick and Stingray. My favourite poster, however, is Laura90. Her posts are incredibly eloquent and thoughtful. I like watching most sports, including rugby and tennis. But cricket is most definitely my second sport, no doubt about it. And I like to use big words to compensate. Depends on my mood, and/or how much I've had to drink. Disappointed, I was expecting better from you.

Name: Spike Spiegel Reason: General Cuntishness Punishment: Suspended for 48 hoursFucking asshole.

I have no way of replying to all these questions til the weekend, so leave this open. Hopefully some of the more adult members will have had chance to ask a few questions by then. Just going to ban Spike then sign out - see you all on Sunday.

So many unfunny cunts here. You wankers just wait til I'm back at home. Cunts. In fairness I expect nothing else from you lot.

I just call him Pierre! Aww-bam-e-yang is the pronunciation I'd go for. So it's probably wrong.

That's not what he means and you know it isn't. I'm a football coach and last night at an under 8s training session, I had dozens of kids laughing and joking saying they were going to bite someone. It only takes one bad tackle or push and that bite becomes a reality in the heat of the situation. And you're saying a bite isn't assault?

We were never in for him.

HAHAHAHAHA http://forums.thisisanfield.com/index.php?/topic/17644-suarez-9-game-ban/

The earliest he can play in the PL is the 25th of October.

Four months isn't long enough. But it'll do.

Chelsea will play Hungarian side Ferencvaros in their final pre-season warm-up game ahead of the Premier League curtain raiser against Burnley. Scheduled just six days before the visit to Turf Moor, the game against the side who finished third in the Hungarian first division last season will complete José Mourinho's side's preparations for an all-out assault on silverware next term. The match will be shown exclusively live on Chelsea TV, kicking off at 7.45pm BST on . It will be the first game to be played at the Stadion Albert Flórián in Budapest since its redevelopment. The state-of-the-art ground now has a capacity exceeding 25,000. Chelsea's full pre-season itinerary: Wedneday 16 July - 7.45pm BST kick-off - Wycombe Wanderers - Adam's Park - Wycombe, England. Saturday 19 July - 3.00pm BST kick-off - AFC Wimbledon - Kingsmeadow - Kingston Upon Thames, England. Wednesday 23 July - 7.30pm BST kick-off - RZ Pellets - Wörthersee Stadium - Klagenfurt, Austria. Sunday 27 July - kick-off TBC - NK Olimpija Ljubljana - Stožice Stadium - Ljubljana, Slovenia. Wednesday 30 July - 7.45pm BST kick-off - Vitesse Arnhem - GelreDome - Arnhem, Holland. Sunday 3 August - kick-off TBC - SV Werder Bremen - Weserstadion - Bremen, Germany. Sunday 10 August - 7.45pm BST kick-off - Ferencvaros - Stadion Albert Flórián - Budapest, Hungary. Click here to view the article

Hang him.

Chelsea duo Gary Cahill and Frank Lampard are flying home with the England squad after their disastrous World Cup campaign ended in a drab 0-0 draw with Costa Rica. Cahill, along wither former Blues striker Daniel Sturridge, was the only England player to start all three games in Brazil for the Three Lions, whilst Lampard - out of contract at Stamford Bridge - captained the side in what is likely to be his final international appearance. The England pair are not the only Chelsea players to be returning home early, as the Blues' Spanish contingent shared the ignominy of going out at the group stages. That means that new arrival Cesc Fabregas joins Fernando Torres and Cesar Azpilicueta on the plane home, whilst Diego Costa - widely rumoured to be joining them at Stamford Bridge next season - failed to net in his two starts. Samuel Eto'o's Cameroon finished pointless and bottom of Group A, whilst there was heartache for former Chelsea pair Didier Drogba and Salomon Kalou, whose Ivory Coast side were knocked out by a stoppage time winner as Giorgios Samaras' 91st-minute penalty sent Greece through. Despite those disappointments, the Blues will still be well represented in the latter stages of the tournament. John Obi Mikel, Victor Moses and Kenneth Omeruo will progress with Nigeria provided Bosnia at least hold Iran to a draw, and Andre Schurrle's Germany are all but guaranteed to progress as group winners should they avoid defeat against the USA. Germany's progress signals the end of the road for former Blue Michael Essien, whose Ghana side need to beat Portugal and hope Germany defeat the Americans - similarly Raul Meireles and Portugal need an even great swing in goal difference to prolong their stay in Brazil. Eden Hazard, Thibaut Courtois, and Romelu Lukaku are through with ex-Chelsea midfielder Kevin de Bruyne and Belgium, whilst Oscar, Willian and Ramires - along with PSG-bound David Luiz - will also be present in the knockout rounds with the host nation Brazil. Click here to view the article

Cech/Courtois Azpilicueta/Ivanovic - Cahill/Ivanovic - Terry - Luis/Bertrand Oscar/Matic - Ramires/Mikel/Tiago Oscar/Cescbomb Schurrle/Willian - Costa/Lord Demba- Hazard/Salah