Spike

I chuckle everytime someone uses 'pinging' in that context. Means something different over here.

He has missed the goal completly before. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EUJY-icHxJw

What has Cahill done to be captain? Is it because he is English? Is it because he is a CB? Is it because he will automatically become World Class like JT if he is handed the armband? Nothing against Gazza but it's easy to have high standards after a decade of JT as captain.

The next two games will be very interesting. Neither of the Spanish teams can afford any ennui, they will attack and push forward with all their bravado. I expect goals, lots of goals, lots of goals, lots of goals.

As a CM: He can't tackle. He can't intercept. He vision is about above average. Better than Mikel's but worse than Oscar's. Doesn't dictate play, just knocks the ball around a lot when in possession. As a CAM: He doesn't record many assists, so he lacks the final killer ball. He doesn't score many goals. Chelsea already has two potential world class players and one world class player for the CAM position. All he is has is his amazing technique on the ball, but from what I see he doesn't know what to do with it. He'd be better in a 4-3-3 and if Chelsea persist on playing a 4-2-3-1; Modric is the last player I want to see at Chelsea. And he is already 28. All in all he is half a CM and half a CAM, very good at both but simultaneously very awful at both. He is a hybrid that doesn't really fit into a conventional position.

Modric is just plain awful. I didn't want him when the forum was in wank mode over him and angry mode over Levy and I don't want him now. Useless player.

Do you take chocolate money for tickets? I swear I'm good for it.

Comedy gold...are you here all week?

Give reasons ya bastards. I pick Benzema and Alonso because: Karim is one of the most dynamic forwards around, he is strong and quick and has great on the ball technique. He is very inconsistent but I imagine it's hard at a club like Real Madrid. He tends to drop deep far too often for my liking but if he can drop that part of his game, he'd be twice the forward. Alonso because he is quite possible the best CM/DM of the last 13 years. Pitching out passes left, right and centre. Chelsea lack a proper CM playmaker at the moment and you can't go wrong with Xabi.

Well both of you have made fair points. It's fine just to give a straight opinion of who you would sign, but it would be nicer if you gave an opinion of who José would bring, hence the reason I mentioned that half of the locker room hate him.

Bite me.

Okay, chances are that if Jose Mourinho returns to Stamford he will bring along some Real Madrid players. I'm guessing two. Which two would you have here? Some rules and stipulations: 1. No Cristiano Ronaldo and Iker Casillas. I don't want to see people suggesting either of them. 2. Remember that at least half of the locker room hates Jose, so choose carefully. 3. Daniel Carvajal is essentially a Real Madrid player, it's only time, so he counts. I'd have Karim Benzema and Xabi Alonso here. Why? I'll tell you later as I'm going to watch Ironman 3 in 3-D soon.

Not Zanetti!

Because Navas is so different to those two players. Just up and down the right flank is his prerogative.

I'm right by proxy.

1. Hummels and Bender have been injured for half of the season.Schmelzer, Subotic, Weidenfeller, etc. ANYONE WHO ISN'T MARCO REUS, ROBERT LEWANDOWSKI AND MARIO GOTZE HAS MISSED A SIGNIGIFCANT PORTION OF THIS SEASON. None of them have made over 30 appearances yet. You try and win the Bundesliga when half of your squad is injured.

How is a Uni student supposed to afford Fox Sports?

Stream me dat shit yo.

I was waiting for someone to play this line. You've brought me great joy.

I see nipps.

I understand what you are saying and I agree to a degree but his ego shouldn't stop him from converting one-on-ones and penalties like he didn't do in the WC10, CL10, and CL12.

Choker doesn't mean afraid or nervous. It means not being able to perform as expected in high stakes and important moments. You could argue that it's caused by nerves and whatnot but that is just semantics.

Video of him playing like shit against Chelsea

You mean this? When he lost you the World Cup? The thing you've been in the final for three times without winning? You mean this incident? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qk8JNcsCUng