Liquidator

I sincerely hope this is a joke

Mo Salah has played a lot of games recently so it is understandable that he was given his usual spot behind the subs bench

The banter of getting to the game with no trains, no tubes and limited buses is just superb

I don't understand why people think that though? He's far more biased than any BBC commentator

A well-respected source who works at the club told me the other day that he isn't playing at the moment because he has agreed to fill in for Brian Harvey on East 17's comeback tour. He even sent me this picture to prove it ''Baby if you have to Mo away, don't think I can take the pain''

West Ham make the 11 mile trip across London to face league leaders Chelsea in the early kick off this Boxing Day. Both sides will be looking to extend their recent positive runs of form as the gruelling festive fixture list begins. Kick-off is at 12:45 GMT. Chelsea look to have turned a corner since their unbeaten start to the season came to an end on Tyneside some three and a half weeks ago, having won all of their last 5 games. Mourinho’s side currently hold a 3 point advantage over second-placed Manchester City, although difficult fixtures away to Southampton and Spurs lie not far over the horizon and will show what the Champions elect are truly made of. Before Sunday’s trip to the South coast, Chelsea must first focus themselves on fellow Londoners West Ham, whose remarkable rise into the Premier League top 4 has provided a much welcome change for Hammers fans who are usually more accustomed to peering nervously over their shoulder in the table at this time of year. Last season’s corresponding fixture provided little to write home about, as a spirited West Ham side became the second outfit to take away a point from West London following a drab 0-0 draw. Jose Mourinho was critical of the opposition’s style of play afterwards, describing it as ‘19th Century football’. The Opposition West Ham sit among the league’s top 4 at Christmas for the first time since 1985 and come into Friday’s fixture off the back of a routine 2-0 win over struggling Leicester City last Saturday. Four of United’s last 5 league games have ended in victories. United’s impressive start to the season can be put mainly down to Sam Allardyce’s intelligent dealings in the summer transfer market. New signings Diafra Sakho and Enner Valencia have contributed a combined 10 league goals already so far and Alex Song, who arrived on a season-long loan deal from Barcelona, has also impressed. Tactically, West Ham are much changed from last season. Route 1, a phrase long synonymous with Sam Allardyce, has remained in part, but long passes to Sakho and Valencia are more directed and intelligent this time around. Stewart Downing, although usually found on the wings, has been given a more free role this season, which allows him to play just behind the strikers when required. Sakho and Valencia both press high up the pitch, encouraging the midfield and attacking full backs to station themselves further up also. Team News Chelsea: Eden Hazard is expected to be fit after being substituted late in Monday’s game at Stoke. Expected line-up (4-2-3-1): Courtois; Ivanovic, Cahill, Terry, Azpilicueta; Matic, Fabregas; Willian, Oscar, Hazard; Diego Costa West Ham: Mark Noble is expected to return from an Achilles problem but James Tomkins is doubtful after injuring his hamstring against Leicester. Expected line-up (4-3-1-2): Adrian; Cresswell, Collins, Reid, Jenkinson; Noble, Song, Kouyate; Downing; Valencia, Sakho Statistics: Chelsea are unbeaten in their last 9 Premier League games on Boxing Day (W5, D4) Sam Allardyce has 2 wins in 21 Premier League games against Chelsea Chelsea have won 12 and lost 1 of their last 16 Premier League games against West Ham Our all-time record against West Ham in all competitions is P 101 W 45 D 19 L 37 West Ham have scored only 3 times in their last 8 visits to Stamford Bridge Odds: *Courtesy of SkyBet Chelsea win: 1/3 West Ham win: 8/1 Draw: 4/1 TV Coverage: UK: Sky Sports 1HD USA: NBC Sports Live Extra, Mun2, NBCSN Belgium: Sporting 1 Middle East: beIN Sports Arabia 11 HD Others see here: http://www.livesoccertv.com/match/1207170/chelsea-vs-west-ham-united/

is Martin Tyler the worst commentator in the world? His bias is absolutely unreal. On Sky Sports they are showing a rerun of our win at Anfield last season. Unreal bias- instantly assuming a foul on a Liverpool player is a penalty and then instantly dismissing our penalty calls. Also sounds disappointed when we score yet explodes with joy when Liverpool score against City. Still happens this season too, he's a fucking smug idiot and a biased Liverpool one at that

West fackin Ham from the fackin East end all fackin danny dyer lookalikes keep me nut daan funny walk funny walk funny walk get yerself daan the boozer for a couple of pints let's fackin av it!

if only we could call on the services of the Egyptian Messi...

fuck off N'Zonzi you fucking nobody.

FUCK OFF RAFA BENITEZ YOU FAT WANKER SHITSTAIN CUMSOCK

It appears that touching up your sister gets you benched at Chelsea. At Norwich it gets you a new contract

You can have them and the fudge as well. Both pony compared to the strawberry and orange ones

Can only assume Mo didn't make it up to Stoke in time from his panto performance as Jack in Jack and the Beanstalk at the Churchill Theatre in Bromley. It's a cruel world. Shame.

No Mo Salah. As good a reason as any to crack on with a box of Celebrations

Their defence obviously isn't up to much. Even Mo Salah managed to score against this lot

Go away sky I want to hear from Claude on Arsenal fan TV, not Arsene Wenger. Martin Tyler is such a biased idiot as well

Having your hand over the arse of your own sister? Maybe a move to Norwich would be beneficial to him. He could really relate to the fans there

Club are apparently flirting with the idea of moving the dugouts to the west stand and away fans back to the east lower

Sorry to hear that. Will let people I know who are going aware of it and ask them to spread the word

Haha fuck off Stoke you absolute shit stain of a City. Keep going on about your amazing support, remind me of the time it ever got to John Terry that you shouted shit at him. Actually remind me of when you ever brought more than 1200 to a game at Stamford Bridge. Tinpot muppets with an overinflated opinion of themselves who hate everything.

He does have a reputation for being a bit of a prize bellend

From the fan forum meeting with the club last month: Ground expansion Bruce addressed several questions raised about a new stadium. The Club commented that at present it is not looking at new sites. The two options looked at most closely were Battersea Power Station which has now gone, and Earl's Court. From a construction only perspective it is possible to increase the size of the stadium. However other issues would need to be resolved such as financial viability, ingress and egress, rights of light, property behind the Shed End, listed buildings etc.. Consultation announced in the summer is part of the process but there is no final plan ready. Stadium redevelopment here has always been our first choice. The ideal capacity is 60,000. No application has been made yet and we are still looking at several designs. There are two options for rebuilding, either stand by stand or all in one. We had a short informal meeting with Twickenham as we need to consider all the options. We haven't made the decision on whether to move out during any potential rebuild and are looking at two factors. The first is financial and is a trade off. The other aspect is what the fans would prefer. As regards ticketing at a rebuilt stadium the Club can't make any comment about prices. Safe standing would be considered by the Club in a bigger stadium if the law changes. Asked if there would be a system in place for current ST holders to have priority for new seats in a bigger stadium the club confirmed there would be.

I thought that straight after I sent the fucker