Vesper

spuds are twice now trying to eat the corn in some old richard we shat out years ago

nothing says short term like

fucking superb gif!!!!!!! 💙

and Milan is the whip to live in omg, the shopping, the food, the culture 😍

less than zero he just said he loves Italy and does not want to come back to England to play

He is not coming: Romelu Lukaku confirms transfer plans amid rumours of Chelsea return Romelu Lukaku's future at Inter Milan was thrown in doubt when manager Antonio Conte left the San Siro club last week with Simoni Inzaghi named as his successor from Lazio https://www.mirror.co.uk/sport/football/transfer-news/romelu-lukaku-confirms-transfer-plans-24238497 Romelu Lukaku has confirmed he will stay at Inter Milan next season as he puts rumours of a Chelsea return to bed. The striker's future at the San Siro was thrown in doubt when Antonio Conte left the club last week with Simoni Inzaghi named as his successor from Lazio. The Belgian notched a 30-goal season as Inter claimed the Serie A title under the Italian manager. Chelsea were reportedly one of Lukaku's suitors as Thomas Tuchel's men look for a proven goalscorer in the upcoming window for their Premier League title bid next season. But the 28-year-old has ruled out the possibility of going back to Stamford Bridge for a second spell as he insists he will stay with Inter.

A triple-whammy of news-gathering haplessness Gareth Southgate takes his England side to the Riverside on Wednesday evening. Photograph: Eddie Keogh/The FA/Getty Images Scott Murray MORE BREAKING NEWS FROM YOUR FAVOURITE POORLY SCHEDULED NEWS-GATHERING SERVICE … The world of football is just trolling the Fiver now. Yesterday afternoon, Gareth Southgate announced the England squad for Euro 2020 at 5pm, and didn’t even start talking about it until six. And then, six minutes later, as readers and Fiver alike wondered why on earth they ever bother, our triple-whammy of news-gathering haplessness was complete, as one of the biggest clubs in the country found themselves suddenly managerless! Carlo Ancelotti had grabbed his first chance of an out with both hands, telling Everton to do one, then waltzing off up Goodison Road, whistling, aware that he was probably heading in the wrong direction for Madrid, but never mind, getting away is the most important bit right now, he can recalibrate later, once he’s well clear. To be fair, exactly how much the Fiver lost yesterday as a result of its Fiveishness is a moot point. Southgate said nothing of import, never does, while the players took turns to send out a series of tweets – “My pride at pulling on the shirt is limitless”, “Let’s make this summer special”, “Always believe in yourself, silence the doubters” – that suggest post-career gigs copywriting for apparel manufacturers are not beyond them. England play Austria tonight in a friendly at Southgate’s alma mater, the Riverside, a match in which Jesse Lingard, standing in for the absent Chelsea, Manchester City and Manchester United contingent, is almost certainly going to score a hat-trick, on account of not having made the final 26. You know how these things work. Players promoted twice from the same division in the same season | The Knowledge Read more Having said that, there’s a fair chance Austria could record only their second win on English soil, having won eight of their last 10 friendlies. If they manage it, at least all of their efforts will be televised this time; back in 1965, Toni Fritsch’s 81st-minute winner at Wembley remained on the ITV cutting-room floor, the match highlights instead climaxing with a jump cut to a belting rendition of the national anthem. What a glorious nation! So with everyone waiting patiently for England’s first pre-tournament test, the Fiver is pretty confident that it won’t be caught with its trousers down tonight. Unless Everton spring a presser at 5.03pm to announce a dream ticket of Rafa Benítez and Steven Gerrard, in which case we’ll tell you all about that tomorrow at 5pm, along with more on this break-in at the Democratic National Committee HQ in Washington DC, though to be frank we’re not sure that particular story has legs. LIVE ON BIG WEBSITE Join Scott Murray for England v Austria and Paul Doyle for all the other Euro 2020 warm-up friendly international action. QUOTE OF THE DAY “They called me from the club to see if I wanted Luis Suárez and I laughed. I said: ‘Are you serious? Like mad. Go for him. Let me call him.’ I called and said: ‘Look, Luis, we have to win and you want to win’” – the Diego Simeone phone call that changed the La Liga season leads this year’s edition of the Sids: the complete review of La Liga 2020-21! It’s the Sids! Composite: AP, AFP via Getty Images; Shutterstock; Pressinphoto/Icon Sport/Getty Images RECOMMENDED LISTENING It’s Football Weekly! RECOMMENDED BOOKING Speaking of which, tickets are available now for Football Weekly Live’s Euro Not 2020 preview special on 10 June. Get them while they’re hot. FIVER LETTERS “Re: Conference League names. Big Tin? It’s a name sure to keep The Fiver interested, if no one else” – Phillip C. “How about the Eurine Cup?” – Kevin Windle. “As an exercise in pointless tournaments, the Europa Conference could do no worse than call itself the Northants Senior Cup. Even my beloved Kettering Town find it an irritation” – Giordy Salvi. Send your letters to [email protected], or tweet The Fiver via @guardian_sport. Today’s winner receives a copy of A.D. Stephenson’s footballing comedy-thriller novel, A Cloud Can Weigh A Million Pounds. Congratulations to … Giordy Salvi. More copies up for grabs this week! NEWS, BITS AND BOBS Ticketless Scotland fans have been urged not to travel to London for the England game on 18 June. A Premier League study has found that only 26% of fans support the use of VAR. “There is a clear feeling among fans that VAR has ruined the spontaneity of goal celebrations, and taken away a big part of our most enjoyable matchday moments,” said the FSA’s vice-chair Tom Greatrex. Mike Dean and his VAR machine. Photograph: Jack Thomas - WWFC/Wolves/Getty Images Wolfsburg have appointed former Dutch international Mark van Bommel as their new head coach. “To be allowed to work as a coach in the Bundesliga where I played for a long time is a great honour and challenge that I will tackle with a lot of engagement,” he roared. Scotland’s Euro 2020 plans are in chaos after six more players were ruled out of the friendly against the Netherlands. In other Euro 2020 news, unsold Wembley hospitality tickets could mean extra seats for fans. STILL WANT MORE? Myanmar’s football is in in crisis as pull-outs and suspension threat follow coup, writes John Duerden. Have any players been promoted twice from the same division in the same season? The Knowledge has the answer. Mbappé in Miami? Pulisic in Philly? Which US cities will host the 2026 World Cup? Tom Dart goes groundhopping. Sterling form and Henderson fitness mean dilemmas for Gareth Southgate, writes David Hytner. It’s the Euro Not 2020 Experts’ Network! Catch up with team guides for Turkey, Wales, Belgium and Denmark, plus in-depth profiles of key players. Oh, and if it’s your thing … you can follow Big Website on Big Social FaceSpace. And INSTACHAT, TOO! TEN! TEN! TEN! TEN! TEN! TEN! TEN! TEN!

Desailly I can see a case for not Carvalho

This was the biggest robbery in WC final history The 1954 WC final, where the best team ever in football history, the 1953-1995 Hungary national side (highest ELO ranking ever, 2231, in May 1954, after after they beat Uruguay 4 -2) was fucked over so bad and West Germany won 3 -2. In an earlier group game, the Germans had wilfully targeted and took out via injury, Ferenc Puskás, the best player in the world. He played again in the final, but was not at all fit. Plus, the Germans were all doped up on methamphetamine, lol. The Wankdorf Stadion in Berne saw 60,000 people cram inside to watch the final between West Germany and Hungary, a rematch of a first-round game, which Hungary had won 8–3 against the reserves of the German team. The Golden Team of the Hungarians were favourites, as they were unbeaten for a record of 32 consecutive matches, but they had had two tough knockout matches. It started raining on match day – in Germany this was dubbed Fritz-Walter-Wetter ("Fritz Walter's weather") because the West German team captain Fritz Walter was said to play his best in the rain. Adi Dassler had provided shoes with exchangeable studs. Card autographed by coach Sepp Herberger and the 11 German players that appeared in the final Hungary's Ferenc Puskás played again in the final, even though he was not fully fit. Despite this he put his team ahead after only six minutes and with Zoltán Czibor adding another two minutes later it seemed that the pre-tournament favourites would take the title. However, with a quick goal from Max Morlock in the 10th and the equaliser of Helmut Rahn in the 19th, the tide began to turn. The second half saw telling misses by the Hungarian team. Barely six minutes before the end of the match, the popular German radio reporter Herbert Zimmermann gave the most famous German piece of commentary, recommending that "Rahn should shoot from deep", which he did. The second goal from Rahn gave West Germany a 3–2 lead while the Hungarian reporter György Szepesi burst into tears. Later, Zimmermann called Puskás offside before he kicked the ball into Toni Turek's net with 2 minutes left. While referee Ling pointed to the centre spot, linesman Griffiths signalled offside. After a one-minute consultation, referee Ling disallowed the claimed equaliser. The West Germans were handed the Jules Rimet Trophy and the title of World Cup winners, while the crowd sang along to the tune of the national anthem of West Germany. In Germany the success is known as "The Miracle of Berne", upon which a 2003 film of the same name was based. For the Hungarians, the defeat was a disaster, and remains controversial due to claimed referee errors and claims of doping. One controversy concerns the 2–2 equaliser. Hungarian goalie Gyula Grosics jumped to catch Fritz Walter's corner shot, but in plain sight of the camera, Hans Schäfer obstructed him, and so the ball reached Rahn unhindered. The second controversy concerns allegations of doping to explain the better condition of the West German team in the second half. Though teammates steadfastly denied this rumour, German historian Guido Knopp claimed in a 2004 documentary for German public channel ZDF[8] that the players were injected with shots of vitamin C at half-time, using a needle earlier taken from a Soviet sports doctor, which would also explain the wave of jaundice among team members following the tournament. A Leipzig University study in 2010 posited that the West German players had been injected with the banned substance methamphetamine.[9] Most controversial was the offside ruling for Puskás's intended 87th-minute equaliser. The camera filming the official footage was in a bad position to judge the situation, but eyewitnesses claimed that the referee was wrong, including West German substitute player Alfred Pfaff.[10] However, since then, unofficial footage surfaced evidencing no offside (shown on North German regional public channel NDR in 2004.

Rudiger as Vice.-captain he is a warrior and never backs down (same as Azpi) Tuchel finally was the one to take him to WC level of play (and has done an AMAZING job with AC too) my CB want is to replace Thiago and Azpi after they leave (Thiago likely in 2022) or no long start (Azpi) if only Thiago was 30, 31, I would not even be giving a toss much about CB atm if you judge off prime years/full career (not just Chels), he is 2nd best CB (after Terry) the club has even had on our roster, shame it came at the end of his career he is one the rare hard as nails Brasilian players, like Dunga, Branco, Gérson, Aldair, Luis Pereira, Djalma Santos, Nilton Santos, Lucio, Fernandinho, Maicon, Hilderaldo Luiz Bellini (captain of the 1958 WC winners with the 17yo Pele as the star), and Cafu

zero goals against class teams (unless you count one goal v Wolves, and we lost that game) zero assists v good teams

yes, CHO has lost a wee bit, but nothing like RLC CHO was almost as fast as Traore before the injury, and a far more skilled player so fucking frustrating although I do think CHO can get back to that level, look how long it took Zouma (2 and a half to 3 years) to fully recover from his horrid knee injury (now he is 100% back to speed), although knee injures like Zouma's are not as potentially speed-sapping as Achilles blow outs, it is more just a durability thing

Luka Jović is dross we should go HARD for my number one choice for all footballers on the planet all along since I joined the board, and before that MBAPPE he can play anywhere up front, he insane as a CF on counters he is (many people forget) a pressing demon too, and is far from shit in the air, despite not being 6-3 he is only on £298K PW atm so it certainly will not take an insane Messi £2.1 Million Per Week salary package to pay him PSG is only offering him £25.7m per year to renew that is only around half of what CR7 makes at 36yo and less than a quarter of what Messi makes 6 of those goals were in 3 games versus Barca and Bayern

Kinshasa in the Democratic Republic of Congo all kittens ngolo Kante God bless you thank you to Chelsea

if we pull that off I am doing a nakie dance, lololol we deffo should go for Sam Johnstone for GKer as Mendi is gone for a month in January 2022, for that damn AFCON dross

top 3 outfield players Kante Mbappe (Håland loaded up versus shit team, Mbappe was insane versus Barca and Bayern, in his first 3 games v them, 6 goals, and Lewa only scored 5 all CL) Rudiger best GK, Mendy, not even close, he kept 9 clean sheets, tying an all-time record for any CL in history

please, I beg of all, NO NO NO Kounde, TOO SHORT, we will get crushed in the air Tapsoba, after many on here said they do not rate him like I did, I am off the boil (as I went back and watched a lot of games, ans they were right) would much rather get Lacroix Tapsoba is very lanky and not in a Rudiger type of way lanky-strong for his body type, he gets bullied a lot (and thsi open pinball Bundesliga) Rice will cost £85m to 90m I so doubt Donnarumma will want to come fight Mendy for number 1, he is going to PSG I think, not Juve (thank fuck) good spot on Kaio Jorge, I rate him for a youth Brasilian, a lot, Arse is all over him, £20m maybe be too low Aurélien Tchouaméni will unfortunately cost us a bit more than £5m I fear, say 40-45 ut I do rate hi, 40m I can live with Sancho at £80m is fair price, £70m even better

I can somewhat see you point, and I do agree to point tht I think our lads will come good bit I was only using last season as the ewxample of why I say he under perfromed Sane for instance, a player being slated by so many (not on here so much) in his last 3 full seasons has averaged 2,968 minutes a season 40 goals, 49 assists total at an even 3000 minutes a season, that is basically 30 total goals produced per season Pulisic gives us 30 goals (hell, 25, 27) produced a year for 3 years, I am over the moon he is NOWHERE near that now, I thought he was well on his way after last season (2019/20) as he was at 26 to 27 goals produced all comps if extrapolated to 3000 minutes (12/13 goals, 14 assists, granted his EPL production was lower per minute, especially assists) but he has deffo regressed even as the team is so much better now, post Tuchel arrival I WANT Pulisic to succeed, I like him, a lot, I rate him a lot I just want him to step the fuck up

why I call Kounde a dwarf for a CB

this bloke has insane pace for a CMF, not just burst speed, but top end, he smoked England multiple times last night

yep, not chance, they would insane to do so, and Bayern are the most sane, most calculating big club on the planet, they do not do insane

not only do I disagree (I think he is absolutely underperforming) but your maths are incorrect if we are going to do the 'full season' of minutes (meaning literally 90 X 38 = 3,420 minutes for JUST the EPL) he is tracking to 7.88 (round up to 8 ) goals over a full 3420 minutes, NOT 13 goals, and then 3.94 assists (round to 4 ) 8 goals and 4 assists in 3,420 minutes is POOR for a £60m player and he would never play that many league minutes anyway, not a chance, for multiple factors, including he is not that durable he had ONE goal all year against a quality team , the Real Madrid one other than a goal against Leeds he scored the other 4 against pure dogshit teams ad they were all meaningless goals othe than the Real goal. None decided a game, all were in blowouts (one of the blowouts was AGAINST us, that West Brom nightmare) Krasnodar? (his other CL goal) LOLOL finally his assist tally in the league is SHIT if not for snagging one v Villa in that collapse on the last day he would have had ONE all season (against Burnley) if he played the same minutes Mbpape played all comps, then he would have 9 goals, 6 assists Mbappe had, in only 3,720 minutes, 42 goals, 11 assists, including 6 goals against just Barca and Bayern in 3 games Mbappe in the last 2 last two seasons, in only 6400 minutes total (so 3200 per person average) has produced 101 goals 72 goals, 29 assists , all the age of 20-22yo bottom line I do NOT expect Pulisic to get even halfway to Mbappe it even if he was only ONE THIRD of the way there his numbers for 3200 minutes (Mbappe produces 50/51 goals in that over the past two seasons) would be 17 total goals produced, instead he is only at 13 if you increase his minutes to Mbappe's average for last two seasons I am sorry, but 8 or 9 goals, and 4 or 5 assists all comps (with only 5 or 6 league goals, 2 or 3 league assists) per year is SHIT return for a £60m player, a bloody winger/No. 10 type, as he is not a trad DMF, or a regista or a CB he IS, absolutely, underperforming he needs to step it up

Why does everyone want to sign Eduardo Camavinga?