Iggy Doonican

To the Chief Superintendent Fulham Police Station, Heckfield Place, London SW6, 5NL. Dear Sir, I would like to report a suspected identity theft. There's a young chap who seems to be masquerading as Eden Hazard. This person shows on occasion that he's really Eden but since his Summer holiday he's like a changed man. His demeanor is totally different and his confidence appears to have gone. But more worrying is he's started to take penalties like his wearing winkle pickers and he's aiming for someone in the top tier of the Shed. Yours Reverend R. Slicker

Just hope it stops pissing down weather has been terrible in London today. (That has to be the most British thing i've ever posted on here ha ha.)

I do think we'll win tonight it won't be a walk in the park but i expect us to win. But this awful start begs the question how many more bad results are acceptable to the fans and the board?. Three defeats already and if we lose on Saturday well the pressure will be seriously cranked up. The January window is usually to bolster squads as all marquee players are illegible to play in the Champions League. So what does he do? well he's sort of painted himself into a corner. Keep playing the utterly out of form players like Ivan, Fairy Ass, Willian etc or on the other hand start playing some youngsters which he never or at least seems reluctant to do. I'm not here to praise or bury Mourinho but his lack of foresight could well be his downfall. And if there any truth in these rumours about banning banter (surely not!) Well it's a little dictatorial to say the least and is even worse then A.V.B's bizarre request that everyone embraces him after we score.

Fans are entitled to voice there opinions and if they turn on Mourinho well so be it. He's getting well paid so now it's time for him to earn his money and get us out of our current predicament. I'm not saying he should be sacked but this five game thing is an anomaly. We haven't been playing well since New Years Day and instead of scraping 1-0 wins we are now getting soundly beaten. Also the ridiculous excuses are starting to grate, he said Everton scored their third goal after crossing the half way line for the first time in the half. What bollocks Lukaku could have had a hat trick. Even if that was true the irony of Mourinho of all people complaining about teams staying in there own half.

Myself and countless other posters here are not clamouring for Mourinho's immediate departure. What we have here and lets not use the word blip is a worrying state of affairs on and off the pitch. The knives are out lets be honest the media are reveling in our current problems and what does Mourinho do?. Get involved in another totally avoidable row with Martinez. When a dullard like Martinez says he was great last year when they beat us 6-3 then it's just embarrassing. Do your presser get the fuck out of there and have a go at your under performing players not press conference etiquette.

The team have been awful for months, the manager's been picking fights with all and sundry. We were lucky to get a point against Swansea, got utterly outclassed by Man City, Everton and even more embarrassing Crystal Palace so it's pretty hard to be positive at the moment squire. The Arsenal game and i honesty don't think it's hyperbole is make or break for Mourinho lose and i honestly think he's under severe pressure. If we do start struggling all this Mourinho's the best man for the job bollocks just doesn't wash. It's completely alien for him and the whole team to be struggling and i'm not sure his precious ego could take a mediocre season. But the biggest problem is not a lack of form with Hazard it's the whole fucking team.There's not a single player who's playing well there not just below par they look disinterested and completely burned out who's fault is that hmm you decide.

The word banter should be banned. All i can think off when it's really cringey and forced is Question Of Sport especially from that nice middle class mockney Phil Tufnell.

If you posted that on the Shed End Forum they'd agree with you F.B. and without any irony. They'd also say the Chelsea Flower Show was possibly the worse in 12 years especially the wallflower who when planted will just be ignored and walked by. Known as the Branislav Ivanovic .

Calling all Chelsea fans wankers because they disagree with you nice one. You can't see the wood for the trees that's your problem son. At the moment Mourinho looks like a frustrated father who's watching his kids under 10 team getting soundly beaten every week. And instead of facing up to his own inadequacies he's looking for scapegoats to blame.

Yes to keep the tradition of Ivan being in the wrong position !

Pantomime horse Mourinho at the front. Ivan at the back with the big rear end and his head up Mourinho's arse.

A lot of the blame has to be put firmly on whoever organized our pre- season games. Last premier league game 24 th May. Then play first pre- season match in Thailand on the 30th May. June 2nd then play in Australia. Go to the States and play three games starting on July 22nd ending on July 28th. A then jet lagged squad travel back to London for the Charity Shield on August 2nd. A completely pointless game against Fiorentina on August 5th which would have been ok perhaps if we were not going to be involved in the Charity Shield just three day previously. Then we play Swansea on August 8th on what is the earliest start to a season i can ever remember. So the fact is one of these tours has to be given the elbow yes we all know there money making exercises but to go to Thailand just six days after winning the league is just plain stupid. We are definitely winning the race for club with the biggest carbon footprint ha ha. While poor team selection and tactics (and childish rants) are the main problems i do think having a packed pre- season didn't help.

Yes but gossip is exactly what it says on the tin it's gossip. You can print any old bollocks and banner headline it as gossip and as long as you don't attribute a quote to a specific person then your fine.

These articles about the mood within the camp are just baseless speculation. But there going to grow and grow in the coming weeks so in a nutshell ignore them especially if there from the Daily Heil.

Unfortunately to break it to you but the word your looking for is wasn't followed by 2004.

This won't mean anything to anyone not from the U.K. but every time i hear the word Klopp i think of this guy. Captain Hans Geering

Mamma mia your telling Chelsea fans what they should say and think. Your highly thought out reasoning about Eva she has boobs i like boobs also well yes because your a massive tit. What's wrong with Milan, Roma, Parma etc don't tell us what to do and say mate you haven't earned the right.

Bang on brother

Trade him in for a newer and better model

Well said mate. When your getting the piss taken out of you tactically by the likes of Pardew, Monk and Martinez it goes to show your being left behind by managers who just pinpoint a couple of weaknesses in the team mainly Ivan and Fairy Ass and exploit them.

And who's fault is that and more to the point who bought him Emenalo or Mourinho?

Let's be brutally honest here any other manager and we'd be calling for his head. Since the Tottenham debacle everyone opposition managers especially thought fuck let's bring the fight to Chelsea there not as good as everyone thinks. The back four is ponderous the midfield is woeful Willian, Fucking Fabregas sorry can't stand the bloke Mikel, Ramires extremely average. Dave is wasted at left back, Ivan well it's just beyond the pale that he's still playing. But what's more noticeable is Mourinho himself long gone is the swagger what we have now is a irritable, charmless middle aged man who's living off past glories and hasn't the nous to put it right. Things aren't going to change anytime soon the team look disinterested and knackered and Mourinho's body language is awful. There could well be things happening that us the average man and woman in the street don't know about but you have to grin and bear it but Mourinho is no actor and you can see something's eating him and it's affecting the players BADLY.

To all you Mourinho sycophants and apologists how do you feel now?. Has it dawned on you yet that he's yesterday's man. So far we have been utterly outclassed by Man City, Palace and now Everton. So take the blinkers off and your fingers out of your ears because there no excuses for the shambles we are getting served up. Square pegs in round hole tactics and formations, players who look both knackered and disinterested. We are so predictable and are getting out thought and out fought by the opposition players and managers who must say target Ivan and bully Fabregas (most overrated player in the history of football) and that's it you win the game comfortably. How these two are still anywhere the first team is a fucking mystery. Is it loyalty no it's just blatant pig ignorance on Mourinho's part. Who's he going to blame for this latest fiasco?. Ball boy no been there done that, pitch likewise, medical staff, refs no done that as well, our fans not loud enough and not a patch on Liverpool's no he's used that nugget up as well. I have been saying that everyone who was happy when your winning but playing negative football. Well you reap what you sow because now we are losing and losing badly to the likes of Crystal Palace. The only crumb of consolation is we should make the top four simply on the basis that apart from City no one else is much cop either. Right i'm off to the pub to celebrate Labour getting a new leader out with the old in with the new hey Roman?

To add to all the money he's lost them

Sorry mate but this looks weird. Theo in bed injured and as everything you post has Cech at the bottom with a big smile on his face !