I'm with you on the Alonso front, but there surely has to be another way. Take FDJ off their hands, if they're so desperate to sign the former.
Danjuma would tick a number of those boxes tbh.
A quick fix - Muriel or Ronaldo (if it's for no longer than a year).
Long term options - Danjuma or the last remaining quality CF that's obtainable, Osimhen.