The Pub - Discuss Anything

[Hutcho 8,443]

He is in Holland traveling, he will come back!

Awww, thanks for the info.

[Leif 6,006]

It was kind of tricky deciding whether to post this or not, but oh well.

I'm not trying to cause trouble, but genuinely trying to figure out more about who I am. SO. To the point -

Is there a 'term' (no, not "heartless" or anything like that) for people, like myself, who are unmoved and feel nothing when things such as this Boston 'explosions' happen? I consider myself quite well educated and generally nice with people I know, but if, for example, news was to come out that 2 thousand people had just died in this country in the most gruesome way possible, I'd barely reflect on it, if at all, and probably never think of it again.

From what I understand, it's 'normal' to grieve even for those you don't know or didn't like, but from my experiences (even with family members) I just don't seem affected. Of course that'll change the moment someone like my mum passes, but excluding that - is this considered odd? Is there a term for it?

I've been toying with the idea that I may be Schizotypal recently so perhaps that plays a part if i do indeed have that.

[DJames 729]

It was kind of tricky deciding whether to post this or not, but oh well.

I'm not trying to cause trouble, but genuinely trying to figure out more about who I am. SO. To the point -

Is there a 'term' (no, not "heartless" or anything like that) for people, like myself, who are unmoved and feel nothing when things such as this Boston 'explosions' happen? I consider myself quite well educated and generally nice with people I know, but if, for example, news was to come out that 2 thousand people had just died in this country in the most gruesome way possible, I'd barely reflect on it, if at all, and probably never think of it again.

From what I understand, it's 'normal' to grieve even for those you don't know or didn't like, but from my experiences (even with family members) I just don't seem affected. Of course that'll change the moment someone like my mum passes, but excluding that - is this considered odd? Is there a term for it?

I've been toying with the idea that I may be Schizotypal recently so perhaps that plays a part if i do indeed have that.

Apathy.

A person who is apathetic would show no concern over events such as this. While it can be related to psychological disorders it isn't mutually exclusive. If you think it is a major concern you can probably make an appointment with a psychiatrist/psychologist.

[Heisenberg 1,824]

It was kind of tricky deciding whether to post this or not, but oh well.

I'm not trying to cause trouble, but genuinely trying to figure out more about who I am. SO. To the point -

Is there a 'term' (no, not "heartless" or anything like that) for people, like myself, who are unmoved and feel nothing when things such as this Boston 'explosions' happen? I consider myself quite well educated and generally nice with people I know, but if, for example, news was to come out that 2 thousand people had just died in this country in the most gruesome way possible, I'd barely reflect on it, if at all, and probably never think of it again.

From what I understand, it's 'normal' to grieve even for those you don't know or didn't like, but from my experiences (even with family members) I just don't seem affected. Of course that'll change the moment someone like my mum passes, but excluding that - is this considered odd? Is there a term for it?

I've been toying with the idea that I may be Schizotypal recently so perhaps that plays a part if i do indeed have that.

I have a bit the same problem, its not heartless, Its very simple, you are not "touched" by this because everything who is far away from you wont affect you at all, its has no place in your mind, no importance, I just cant classifies such things in my mind, I know its sad, but its life.One day, something will really affect you, and you'll understand new emotions, and you might change a bit.I dont want to be an asshole, but one day, you'll live something "shocking", you just must be prepared.

Algeria, my country suffered from terrorism, as a boy I saw my house completly destroyed, people killed on the road, maybe it changed me, I dont know, in 2006, my brother was "saved", because he took the wrong bus, and the one which he missed explode, it was such a shock, so, If i'm telling you all that is that, there is a "degree" of interest and affection, more its closer, more you'll feel it.

________________________________________

Sorry for my english.

[manpe 10,861]

Ok, I will warn that this will be a rant, but that cant possibly only happen to moi...

Why do some random people come to add us on facebook? I mean, fine, we know each other and all of that, but what is the main reason for you to add me? It is not like you want to know about my life, talk to me or anything like that. Just because you saw me at a fucking party or because you talked to me for 10 min or even because we played football together, it doesn't mean we need to be friends on Facebook or that you need to follow me on Twitter. Does anybody keep hitting friend request every time they see a familiar face? Because that doesn't seem to be a smart thing to do. For me, you all just want to show to mommy how cool you look because you have many friends and a shit amount of activity in your profile. If you just want to increase the number of friends on any social media, count me out. Have a fucking reason to add the person, geeeez. I very much doubt you talk or want to talk with 3k people. I bet you don't care for 90% of them. This has become the banalization of friendship, absolutely ridiculous.

Also, if I did accept it for pity or because you are dam hot, don't go liking all my photos or status updates. There is a fucking reason why nobody likes my photos or comment on it, it is because I don't fucking enjoy it. If you want to comment on something or you saw me at the beach, at Lollapalooza or whatever, why don't you send me a fucking private message instead? I might be offline, but I will reply, just have patience. Don't go commenting "Foda", "Porra", "Xupa Xelsia", "Gostos", etc. Show some interesting and send me something like: "Hey, how is it going? I saw you on the festival and I wanted to know if you had a great time or not…". This is much more honest and sincere (if they aren't the exact same thing in English). I can bet we will have a much better time than by having this stupid attitude.

More than anything, don't go tagging me in awkward situations. There are serious people who can visit my profile and depending on what they see, I can face serious consequences. I have parents, family, professors and even the dude from my scholarship. I can't have photos of me smoking pot or drinking a full bottle of tequila in there. This is no fun, I don't want to spend the whole day untagging. I don't give a flying fuck about likes or reputation, the people who were there with me know what happened and know we had an amazing time, there is no need to keep posting it on Facebook. More than that, how cool is to take a photo in your bathroom while you are naked, half naked, in a stupid bikini or whatever? Fucking ridiculous. All of that so you can have 300 likes? Awesome, you are the king of likes, congratulations. Above all, if you are a girl doing that kind of shit, please remember you have a father who deserves your respect, to say the least.

Now, way more important than my stupid morale. WHY ON EARTH DO YOU NEED TO OVERLOAD MY NEWS FEED WITH IMAGES AND HASHTAGS? I don't know if that alone is what bothers me or the fact only Brazilians do that kind of stuff. Because I have a lot of American friends, Spanish cousins, people from the forum, etc; and they don't spend the whole day doing this shit. However, some Brazilians keep posting religious stuff or 4chan shares and that gets on my fucking nerves. First, if you believe in God there is no need to remind me of that 12323525124 times a day. Second, I follow football too, you don't need to share and post every detail about your club. I see no point in posting things like: "Goooal", "We won", "Come on Corinthians", etc. Third, if I wanted to see every single post this 4chan dude makes, I would fucking follow him. Fourth, why in hell do you need to use hashtag on Facebook? I mean, unless Mark Zuckwhatever invents an utility for it on his website, there is absolutely no need for you to post a picture with 5675674 hashtags on it. Fifth, you don't need to copy and paste what you post on your Twitter, what is the point?

Lastly, this is coming after I did a major clean up right before my parents added me. I had more than 1 thousand photos and even more of my so called friends. If I spent a whole week getting it all in order, I truly don't want that shit appearing again. I should have deleted it all, I just didn't do because I am a pussy and thought I would hurt many people by doing so. 400 friends are already too much, no need to keep trying to add me or pretend we care about one another. It doesn't make you better and nor does it make me an arrogant or unsocial.

Give me a fucking break, this is pissing me off! :rant:

/rant over

I know what you're saying, but the problems you mentioned aren't really problems. Yes, the name friend is misused in Facebook, I like how Twatter and Google+ named them more appropriately followers, which is much more true. In reality noone considers their friends on facebook real friends, at least I hope so, because it's obvious it's just to follow people. Just a bad bit of naming by facebook, but it's been like that since 2004 or 05 so they're not gonna change it.

Tagging problem? - Forbid others to tag you.

Hashtags or copying twitter posts to facebook? - It's possible to sync twitter and facebook as I've heard, so you see what they wrote in twitter, which uses hashtags. If they didn't post it through twitter, then they're just idiots. Everyone who uses those silly tags without an actual purpose is an idiot, period. You can remove them as "friends", it will improve your quality of life.

Too many pointless friends you don't know or don't care about? - Why accept their invitations? If somebody you don't know tries to add you, you can reject it you know. If they want to contact you, they can send you a message first.

People posting shit? - Add them to ignore list or unfriend them.

At one point I decided to unfriend all the people who I don't talk to or don't care about. I had about 100 of them, now I've got some 30+. It's much more silent now. In fact the only reason why I still haven't deleted my account is because it may become necessary to contact some people, there is always this possibility. And of course it's also good to use it as newsfeed for the things you like. You don't really need "friends" there at all, all you need are the people you want to follow, keep in touch with and properly selected "likes" so you get newsfeed you're interested in.

[manpe 10,861]

It was kind of tricky deciding whether to post this or not, but oh well.

I'm not trying to cause trouble, but genuinely trying to figure out more about who I am. SO. To the point -

Is there a 'term' (no, not "heartless" or anything like that) for people, like myself, who are unmoved and feel nothing when things such as this Boston 'explosions' happen? I consider myself quite well educated and generally nice with people I know, but if, for example, news was to come out that 2 thousand people had just died in this country in the most gruesome way possible, I'd barely reflect on it, if at all, and probably never think of it again.

From what I understand, it's 'normal' to grieve even for those you don't know or didn't like, but from my experiences (even with family members) I just don't seem affected. Of course that'll change the moment someone like my mum passes, but excluding that - is this considered odd? Is there a term for it?

I've been toying with the idea that I may be Schizotypal recently so perhaps that plays a part if i do indeed have that.

Same here. I just can't bring myself to feel anything. I think it's because we've been desensitized to death and tragedy. It happens so often and all around us, we see it everywhere, that we just perceive it as "normal", when actually it's far from it. For example when I hear about some school/mass shootings, I think of it as normal, when I know it isn't (I just can't bring myself to feel that it isn't). When somebody passes away who I didn't know or had no real connection with, I just don't care. Wars? Nope, don't care about them until they don't affect me or those who I care about. I know it's sickening but I can't change that.

I'll tell you one thing I haven't told many people. When my best friend passed away, I couldn't cry naturally during the funeral. I felt if I didn't it would look like I'm an asshole, so I forced myself to cry somehow. I remember one time I kept my eyes open so tears would flow. I also thought I would feel something strong and overwhelming when passing by his open coffin, because other people in front of me just cracked and shattered when they saw the body, but I was more interested in how he looked and all that. I feel like such a douche atm. I often don't understand my emotions. I do have them, sometimes they are stronger than I would like them to be, but then there are those weird episodes like during the funeral when I don't feel normal at all.

I realize I'm a piece of shit, but then again I don't really realize it.

[Rmpr 8,977]

I know what you're saying, but the problems you mentioned aren't really problems. Yes, the name friend is misused in Facebook, I like how Twatter and Google+ named them more appropriately followers, which is much more true. In reality noone considers their friends on facebook real friends, at least I hope so, because it's obvious it's just to follow people. Just a bad bit of naming by facebook, but it's been like that since 2004 or 05 so they're not gonna change it.

Tagging problem? - Forbid others to tag you.

Hashtags or copying twitter posts to facebook? - It's possible to sync twitter and facebook as I've heard, so you see what they wrote in twitter, which uses hashtags. If they didn't post it through twitter, then they're just idiots. Everyone who uses those silly tags without an actual purpose is an idiot, period. You can remove them as "friends", it will improve your quality of life.

Too many pointless friends you don't know or don't care about? - Why accept their invitations? If somebody you don't know tries to add you, you can reject it you know. If they want to contact you, they can send you a message first.

People posting shit? - Add them to ignore list or unfriend them.

At one point I decided to unfriend all the people who I don't talk to or don't care about. I had about 100 of them, now I've got some 30+. It's much more silent now. In fact the only reason why I still haven't deleted my account is because it may become necessary to contact some people, there is always this possibility. And of course it's also good to use it as newsfeed for the things you like. You don't really need "friends" there at all, all you need are the people you want to follow, keep in touch with and properly selected "likes" so you get newsfeed you're interested in.

Relax mate, I was just letting it all out, I was not saying I couldnt fix it.

I was a bit busy today, so I didnt have time, but I will totally do what you said (which I already knew). The only problem I have is my empathy. So when I go to unfriend random people from Univeristy or whatever, my concious keep telling me to leave them there, lmao.

Also, why cant the people on facebook be your friends? Most of the people you will add there will already be your friends anyways, imo. And the rest you can very well build a good realtionship, even over the interent. I am not saying you will be best buddies or that you will share secrets, but that doesnt mean you cant have some very good talks.

In the end, I really only care about 200-300 people, the rest are there for no reason. Most of it, only a set of 10 people or so are the ones who bother me, so I will just get rid of them. I really like facebook for that fact I can keep in touch with my American friends, mates that went far away to study and people from TC. The rest I see no point, because the friends I have in Sao Paulo, I see them frequently and we talk through WhatsApp and tha tkind of stuff!

[Spike 12,049]

People are sincerely blaming North Korea for the Boston bombings. Then my IQ dropped 15 points.

[manpe 10,861]

Currently in a bus driving to a job interview, unbelievably nervous wish me luck.

[SinineUltra 1,170]

It was kind of tricky deciding whether to post this or not, but oh well.

I'm not trying to cause trouble, but genuinely trying to figure out more about who I am. SO. To the point -

Is there a 'term' (no, not "heartless" or anything like that) for people, like myself, who are unmoved and feel nothing when things such as this Boston 'explosions' happen? I consider myself quite well educated and generally nice with people I know, but if, for example, news was to come out that 2 thousand people had just died in this country in the most gruesome way possible, I'd barely reflect on it, if at all, and probably never think of it again.

From what I understand, it's 'normal' to grieve even for those you don't know or didn't like, but from my experiences (even with family members) I just don't seem affected. Of course that'll change the moment someone like my mum passes, but excluding that - is this considered odd? Is there a term for it?

I've been toying with the idea that I may be Schizotypal recently so perhaps that plays a part if i do indeed have that.

One thing is what you think you feel, other is how your brain reacts to it. If you are shown some gruesome picture and there is no change in your brain scan, then you are more likely a person with a mental disorder. Most serial killers had this one in common. Though I think you're just young and maybe reading too much into this/exaggerating, still learning about yourself and your limits.

[MetsajCFC 1,255]

^^

Besides that, everything is going really well!

For me Facebook helps me learn the names of people I meet, otherwise I'll always hesitate when talking to them, not to offend them with wrong name But I agree in a sense that people share too much stuff on the site, it's the fucking Internet, it's not going to be private just because you ticked a box or two in the privacy settings. Also for some people, having thousand "friends" on there is some kind of an achievement for them, like a show of status. If they find it necessary, fine by me. And if people keep mass-adding you, take it as a compliment, they've obviously found you interesting...

[manpe 10,861]

Currently in a bus driving to a job interview, unbelievably nervous wish me luck.

People, I need help, I don't know what to do. The interview went fine imo, one of the interviewers who escorted me out later said I did very well. But the thing is I don't know if I can do it, one thing is to talk to a few people for half an hour, the other is to actually start working every day around strangers. They said that even though it's not a specialist job, it involves quite a lot of responsibility and I would need to learn quite a few things. This freaks me out. I feel like a social phobic because I'm so awkward and nervous around people it's paralizing. I want to be this importunate guy who goes around, asks questions, is social and all that. But I'm afraid my fears will stop me from learning this job properly, I will feel paralized whole day to the point where I want to just escape and run away without looking back. People will look at me like some incompetent weirdo who has no place there. They also hinted that this job would involve some communicating, I was hoping it would be a routine typing behind a computer.

I want to be like those guys in Office Space, if you've seen this movie. Where you have friends and you're already settled in and joke around. Instead I would be the new guy who doesn't know shit and has to be babysitted all the time. As I left I was already contemplating how to reject their offer if they did offer it. It's not a healthy way of thinking, but I can't change it. I'm just not a positive person by nature. My fear of failure far surpasses my anticipation of success. My mindset is that I can't be a success in anything, I don't know why. I will always see myself as the odd man out, the one who doesn't belong. I have trouble feeling connection to other people, I always see it as they all live in the real world with all the other normal people, while I'm stuck in mine which is far from being real and that I'm just a badly programmed program full of bugs and forever in beta status (like Orkut )

What to do?

[Hutcho 8,443]

^^^

Firstly breath... Your not the first person to be nervous about a new job. Most people are. You might like the job, the people are probably very nice and they know your new so they can teach you the things you need to know. If your not sure you can ask someone else. Stop panicking about a job you haven't received yet. I know it's hard to do, because to some extent I am similar, and sometimes you just have to go with the flow. Definitely don't turn them down if they offer you the job.

[manpe 10,861]

^^^

Firstly breath... Your not the first person to be nervous about a new job. Most people are. You might like the job, the people are probably very nice and they know your new so they can teach you the things you need to know. If your not sure you can ask someone else. Stop panicking about a job you haven't received yet. I know it's hard to do, because to some extent I am similar, and sometimes you just have to go with the flow. Definitely don't turn them down if they offer you the job.

It all sounds so logical and reasonable, but it's so hard to live by those words.

[Hutcho 8,443]

It all sounds so logical and reasonable, but it's so hard to live by those words.

Yep, it is, and tbh it's not like I am living by those words either, but i am trying to more. It's not easy at all. It's the same as someone saying for example, just go ask that girl out... In theory it doesn't seem hard, but for some it is incredibly hard.

Just try and think, that there are worse things that can happen, and are happening elsewhere, and try and put it into perspective...

[CHOULO19 24,332]

People, I need help, I don't know what to do. The interview went fine imo, one of the interviewers who escorted me out later said I did very well. But the thing is I don't know if I can do it, one thing is to talk to a few people for half an hour, the other is to actually start working every day around strangers. They said that even though it's not a specialist job, it involves quite a lot of responsibility and I would need to learn quite a few things. This freaks me out. I feel like a social phobic because I'm so awkward and nervous around people it's paralizing. I want to be this importunate guy who goes around, asks questions, is social and all that. But I'm afraid my fears will stop me from learning this job properly, I will feel paralized whole day to the point where I want to just escape and run away without looking back. People will look at me like some incompetent weirdo who has no place there. They also hinted that this job would involve some communicating, I was hoping it would be a routine typing behind a computer.

I want to be like those guys in Office Space, if you've seen this movie. Where you have friends and you're already settled in and joke around. Instead I would be the new guy who doesn't know shit and has to be babysitted all the time. As I left I was already contemplating how to reject their offer if they did offer it. It's not a healthy way of thinking, but I can't change it. I'm just not a positive person by nature. My fear of failure far surpasses my anticipation of success. My mindset is that I can't be a success in anything, I don't know why. I will always see myself as the odd man out, the one who doesn't belong. I have trouble feeling connection to other people, I always see it as they all live in the real world with all the other normal people, while I'm stuck in mine which is far from being real and that I'm just a badly programmed program full of bugs and forever in beta status (like Orkut )

What to do?

Alright, take a breath. Just look at it this way, there are about a billion other people with a lower IQ than you who go to jobs and do well every day. So why shouldn't you? Change is scary, but soon this change will be the new routine and you'll be scared to stop working there

[Rmpr 8,977]

People, I need help, I don't know what to do. The interview went fine imo, one of the interviewers who escorted me out later said I did very well. But the thing is I don't know if I can do it, one thing is to talk to a few people for half an hour, the other is to actually start working every day around strangers. They said that even though it's not a specialist job, it involves quite a lot of responsibility and I would need to learn quite a few things. This freaks me out. I feel like a social phobic because I'm so awkward and nervous around people it's paralizing. I want to be this importunate guy who goes around, asks questions, is social and all that. But I'm afraid my fears will stop me from learning this job properly, I will feel paralized whole day to the point where I want to just escape and run away without looking back. People will look at me like some incompetent weirdo who has no place there. They also hinted that this job would involve some communicating, I was hoping it would be a routine typing behind a computer.

I want to be like those guys in Office Space, if you've seen this movie. Where you have friends and you're already settled in and joke around. Instead I would be the new guy who doesn't know shit and has to be babysitted all the time. As I left I was already contemplating how to reject their offer if they did offer it. It's not a healthy way of thinking, but I can't change it. I'm just not a positive person by nature. My fear of failure far surpasses my anticipation of success. My mindset is that I can't be a success in anything, I don't know why. I will always see myself as the odd man out, the one who doesn't belong. I have trouble feeling connection to other people, I always see it as they all live in the real world with all the other normal people, while I'm stuck in mine which is far from being real and that I'm just a badly programmed program full of bugs and forever in beta status (like Orkut )

What to do?

Ok, you first need to relax and stop panicking.

Then you need to better learn what you are going to do at whatever job that is. A lot of companies put many unnecessary things in the job advert. I have seen IT offers saying you have to be able to communicate, lol.

Above all, you will have to be the new guy someday, there is no scape. It will be bad for a while, but that is temporarily. You will get used to it and have a nice routine, with some work colleagues where you can go out drinking, etc. Maybe you even find a hot chick along the way. However, if you dont want all of that, you dont have to, this is a job and there is no obligation to socialize.

Just think if this is a thing you will enjoy or at least support doing for 44hours/week. If it is and you want to get out of this vicious cycle you complain about, then accept the offer. See how it goes, give it a couple of weeks and then quit in the worst case scenario. Please, do not give up without trying!

[DJames 729]

People, I need help, I don't know what to do. The interview went fine imo, one of the interviewers who escorted me out later said I did very well. But the thing is I don't know if I can do it, one thing is to talk to a few people for half an hour, the other is to actually start working every day around strangers. They said that even though it's not a specialist job, it involves quite a lot of responsibility and I would need to learn quite a few things. This freaks me out. I feel like a social phobic because I'm so awkward and nervous around people it's paralizing. I want to be this importunate guy who goes around, asks questions, is social and all that. But I'm afraid my fears will stop me from learning this job properly, I will feel paralized whole day to the point where I want to just escape and run away without looking back. People will look at me like some incompetent weirdo who has no place there. They also hinted that this job would involve some communicating, I was hoping it would be a routine typing behind a computer.

I want to be like those guys in Office Space, if you've seen this movie. Where you have friends and you're already settled in and joke around. Instead I would be the new guy who doesn't know shit and has to be babysitted all the time. As I left I was already contemplating how to reject their offer if they did offer it. It's not a healthy way of thinking, but I can't change it. I'm just not a positive person by nature. My fear of failure far surpasses my anticipation of success. My mindset is that I can't be a success in anything, I don't know why. I will always see myself as the odd man out, the one who doesn't belong. I have trouble feeling connection to other people, I always see it as they all live in the real world with all the other normal people, while I'm stuck in mine which is far from being real and that I'm just a badly programmed program full of bugs and forever in beta status (like Orkut )

What to do?

Sometimes to become the person we want to be we need to put ourselves in situations that we may not be comfortable in. You want to be that guy this job may be one of the first steps to get you there. Don't try to talk yourself out of it, if you do get the job try it out for a couple months and see what kinds of opportunities you may benefit from.