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Benayoun and Bosingwa


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Will be interesting to see how they get along since Bosingwa kicked him in the back which was ridiculous but hilarious. Bosingwa and Benayoun are both great players so I hope they get along. Did Bosingwa ever apologise?

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It was one of those 'heat of the moment' things. Bosingwa was frustrated but what doesn't excuse him; there's no need for that sort of thing in football! But yes, he did apologise and I don't think Yossi is the sort of guy to hold grudges!

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i bet with these new body scanners at the airports..he`s had some awkward questions to answer...

airport security : Mr Benayoun..it appears that your bowel and anus contains unusual metal objects..

Yossi: oh that...well it happened during a very dark period of my life that i would rather it stayed in the past..i guess i do need to explain to you for security reasons, but please don`t tell the british press ..i could have had unwithering love and affection regardlesss of whatever i did when i played football up in the northwest of England but now i have signed for Chelsea i will just be described as a demonic sexual deviant and a menace to womanhood regardless of wether women willingly throw themselves at me or not...

Airport Security: i give you my word Mr Benayoun..nothing will be leaked to the press..

Yossi: i was cornered in this barren, run-down,pitiful place in the north west of England..it really was a terrifying experience..there were thousands of ghastly looking people..and well..look at me..if i say they looked ghastly then you can be sure..i`m talking Sloth in the Goonies kind of ugly...and although it was in England..i didn`t hear one English word in 3 years in the place...all i heard was "erm " this and "Errrrrrm" that...anyway..one cold night in this bleak hell-hole...i was cornerned like i said and suddenly i felt a hard thud in my rear..i don`t know what happened but i couldn`t sit down for a week..

Airport Security: ah sir..i had a similar experience when i visited England once..i was a foreign exchange student in the mid eighties...after hearing my mothers Beatles records as a child i had always dreamt of going to what i had believed was the mecca of artistic culture..what i found was everyone had matching curly permed hair and shell suits,both women and men alike..indeed the only way i could tell the difference was the men had a more,bushy Tom Selleck type moustache...

one night i was in a night club disco and Frankie goes to Hollywood was coming from the DJ`s speakers...i had drunk quite a lot of alcohol..something i did quite a lot to get me through those bleak days and nights..anyway suddenly i was rushed from behind and i too recieved a dreadful pounding from behind that left me unable to sit for a week...it appears sir, that we are both talking about Liverpool..and tell me do they still have a successful football team filled with Irish,Scottish and Welsh players?

Yossi: oh,blimey..you have been away for a while..they have not won an English title in 20 years and the Irish,Scottish and Welsh players have all left to be replaced by spaniards...tho not the world renowned ones..just any spaniard they can find really...one of them is indeed half decent..but he should escape his hell soon..i`m afraid he fell into the same trap we did,thinking that Liverpool was the place to be..i guess it is for crackheads,pikeys,murderers,rapists..but not folks like us...

some Chelsea fans have become upset about me signing for their beloved football club..and worrying about me taking the place of one of their highly talented younsters..but i can assure you..after the 3 years i`ve spent in Chester and travelling to hell everyday for work..i am just thankful and happy to take my family to live in a decent part of England..where the chances of them being murdered is greatly reduced.

Edited by BlueDrew
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