Popular Post! The Skipper 20,609 Posted May 13, 2014 Popular Post! Share Posted May 13, 2014 CHOULO19, babu, ChelseaFSee and 6 others 9 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
babu 261 Posted May 15, 2014 Share Posted May 15, 2014 A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer, “This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you.”The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, “Which do you want, son?” The boy takes the quarters and leaves.“What did I tell you?” said the barber. “That kid never learns!”Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store.“Hey, son! May I ask you a question?Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?”The boy licked his cone and replied,“Because the day I take the dollar, the game is over!” Sidzeret, darrus and haranr 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cosmicway 1,333 Posted June 2, 2014 Share Posted June 2, 2014 Dion, Muzchap, darrus and 1 other 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cosmicway 1,333 Posted June 5, 2014 Share Posted June 5, 2014 - Do you a drink ?- Yes ...- Do you know that with all the money you spent on drinks you could have bought a Ferrari ?- Do you drink ?- No.- Where is it parked ? darrus, Roquila, Beirut_Blues and 1 other 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Special Juan 28,141 Posted June 16, 2014 Share Posted June 16, 2014 What kind of coordination does Whitney Houston lack?HAAAAAAAAND EEEEEEYYYYEEEEE CHOULO19 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post! Madmax 9,219 Posted June 16, 2014 Popular Post! Share Posted June 16, 2014 'Describe yourself in 3 words.''Lazy.' Sidzeret, darrus, CrayzayBarnet and 5 others 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cosmicway 1,333 Posted June 23, 2014 Share Posted June 23, 2014 darrus and laxguy34 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Special Juan 28,141 Posted June 23, 2014 Share Posted June 23, 2014 A woman was sat on a park bench breast feeding her child when a man walked over and sat next to her. The lady said "Excuse me but what do you think you are doing?" the man replied "I was brought up on the bottle and wondered what it was like to be breast fed" At that the lady replied "Would you like a go?" To which the man smiled and said "Yes I would love too".......Within seconds the woman was getting quite excited, she then turned to the man with a raunchy look on her face and said "Do you fancy something else".....The man replied "Do you have any Rusks" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
1chelsea 864 Posted June 23, 2014 Share Posted June 23, 2014 A woman was sat on a park bench breast feeding her child when a man walked over and sat next to her. The lady said "Excuse me but what do you think you are doing?" the man replied "I was brought up on the bottle and wondered what it was like to be breast fed" At that the lady replied "Would you like a go?" To which the man smiled and said "Yes I would love too".......Within seconds the woman was getting quite excited, she then turned to the man with a raunchy look on her face and said "Do you fancy something else".....The man replied "Do you have any Rusks" Is the "Rusks" for the baby or the man ?? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Special Juan 28,141 Posted June 26, 2014 Share Posted June 26, 2014 I'd like to see a Uruguay vs Russia Final this year.. I can see the headlines.. "Suárez bites Dikov." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fulham Broadway 17,317 Posted June 29, 2014 Share Posted June 29, 2014 Just asked the boss what he wanted done with a 6' roll of bubblewrap.He said ' Just pop it in the corner'.Took me four fucking hours. Muzchap, TrueChelseaBlue, darrus and 1 other 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Special Juan 28,141 Posted July 4, 2014 Share Posted July 4, 2014 BBC NEWS: Australia plane hits Ferris wheel.Police say the pilot is slowly coming round. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CHOULO19 24,332 Posted July 13, 2014 Share Posted July 13, 2014 Operator: 911 Me: My wife is going into labor, what do I do? Operator: Relax sir, is this her first born? Me: No, this is her husband. Muzchap and Fulham Broadway 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KevinAshburner 1,270 Posted July 14, 2014 Share Posted July 14, 2014 I CAN'T REMEMBER OR I FORGOT WHAT THE SECRET IS TO LOSING MY VIRGINITY, BUT I DON'T FLY ON OR NEVER BEEN ON A VIRGIN AIRLINES AEROPLANE OR I HAVEN'T EXPERIENCED THE MILE HIGH CLUB IN AN AEROPLANE TOILET BEFORE. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Special Juan 28,141 Posted July 28, 2014 Share Posted July 28, 2014 A man is arrested for drink-driving while in charge of a lawn-mower on a busy road..Police have said he was half cut. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CraigFairlie 16 Posted August 3, 2014 Share Posted August 3, 2014 Paddy and Mick are in a two-man plane that is spiralling out of control.Mick says, "If the plane turns upside down, d'ya think we'll fall out?""Of course not," Paddy replies, "we've been mates for years!" CHOULO19, darrus and Fulham Broadway 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Viper22 2,418 Posted August 5, 2014 Share Posted August 5, 2014 2 people walking through a graveyard and see a gravestone which reads:"Here lies John Smith; a loyal QPR fan and a good, honest man".1 of the people turns to the other and says: "When in the fuck did they start burying 2 people in 1 grave?" darrus, CHOULO19 and Fulham Broadway 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post! Special Juan 28,141 Posted August 8, 2014 Popular Post! Share Posted August 8, 2014 Breaking News: Oscar Pistorius has just sacked his legal team & hired Celtic's as he's heard you can lose both legs and still win The Skipper, kellzfresh, Viper22 and 2 others 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post! Viper22 2,418 Posted August 9, 2014 Popular Post! Share Posted August 9, 2014 What's the difference between a bucket of shit and the Spurs team? The bucket. ------------------------------------I was playing Football Manager on my PC earlier when I got offered the West Ham job. I knew they were a shit team, with poor footballers and no future, so I turned it down. Then I put down the phone and got back to playing Football Manager. ------------------------------------Players and staff from Spurs yesterday visited a hospital for Children with debilitating diseases."Looking at their poor little faces, It was inspiring. We can't stop thinking that if they believe that they can win, then we must believe too. And it's bracing to realise that there are poor people out there worse off than us and facing a long uphill struggle for the foreseeable future". Said Danny, aged 9. mikeholiday, CHOULO19, Madmax and 5 others 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
leaf 8 Posted August 20, 2014 Share Posted August 20, 2014 a penguin is driving down the street and he notices the 'check engine' light on his dashboard, so he pulls over at the nearest garage and tells the mechanic... pls check it out, i'll step into the store next door and i'll be right back.the penguin comes back 20 mins later and the mechanic says.. hey bud, looks like u blew a seal.the penguin looks back at him annoyed, and said.. f*** off, thats ice cream on my mouth Fulham Broadway, CHOULO19 and Viper22 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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