The Australian Discussion Thread featuring 7 years

[OneMoSalah 8,751]

So I was browsing the internet earlier I came across a so called "Australian joke"..... unsure whether it could be classed as racist in any way or not but I'm hoping it can't for obvious reasons......

Three Aussie guys were working on a high-rise building project - Steve, Bruce and Kevin.

Steve falls off and is killed instantly.

As the ambulance takes the body away, Bruce says, "Someone should go and tell his wife."

Kevin says, "OK, I'm pretty good at that sensitive stuff, I'll do it."

Two hours later, he comes back carrying a case of Fosters.

Bruce says, "Where did you get that, Kev?"

"Steve's wife gave it to me,"

Bruce replies. "That's unbelievable, you told the lady her husband was dead and she gave you the beer?"

"Well not exactly," Kevin said. "When she answered the door, I said to her, 'You must be Steve's widow'.

She said, 'No, I'm not a widow.'

And I said, 'I'll bet you a case of Fosters you are'."

[capriccioso 2,545]

We don't drink Fosters, that stuff is disgusting. Also fuck off Mark Cavendish, we would never help the British in any sport, why so surprised?

British rider Mark Cavendish has taken aim at his Australian opponents after a disappointing performance in the Olympic men’s road race. Cavendish accused the Australian team of racing "negatively" and conspiring with the rest of the field to make sure Team GB didn't win.

Yeah.. that's right, the whole peloton is against you. Wonder why? Just ask your doctor

[OneMoSalah 8,751]

We don't drink Fosters, that stuff is disgusting.

Well that joke lied to me, what a fucking shit lying joke cunt thingy mabobber.

Anyway isn't Fosters not brewed in Edinburgh or something? Says it on the tin I'm sure but the adverts have the 2 Australian guys in it... confused.com

[capriccioso 2,545]

Well that joke lied to me, what a fucking shit lying joke cunt thingy mabobber.

Anyway isn't Fosters not brewed in Edinburgh or something? Says it on the tin I'm sure but the adverts have the 2 Australian guys in it... confused.com

I don't know, all I know is that Fosters is reputed to be awful, and it's not sold in Australia.

[Spike 12,049]

So I was browsing the internet earlier I came across a so called "Australian joke"..... unsure whether it could be classed as racist in any way or not but I'm hoping it can't for obvious reasons......

Three Aussie guys were working on a high-rise building project - Steve, Bruce and Kevin.

Steve falls off and is killed instantly.

As the ambulance takes the body away, Bruce says, "Someone should go and tell his wife."

Kevin says, "OK, I'm pretty good at that sensitive stuff, I'll do it."

Two hours later, he comes back carrying a case of Fosters.

Bruce says, "Where did you get that, Kev?"

"Steve's wife gave it to me,"

Bruce replies. "That's unbelievable, you told the lady her husband was dead and she gave you the beer?"

"Well not exactly," Kevin said. "When she answered the door, I said to her, 'You must be Steve's widow'.

She said, 'No, I'm not a widow.'

And I said, 'I'll bet you a case of Fosters you are'."

I have never seen Fosters in Australia. That stuff disappeared from here in the late 90s.

[capriccioso 2,545]

Carlton Draught is one of the better beers here.

[capriccioso 2,545]

Nay boys nay. Rugby Union we are far superior , football (let's not even go there). Cycling behave yourself were the best in the world .And Tennis we win.

Rugby Union:

Australia ranked number 2. England ranked number 4.

Road Cycling:

Australia ranked 4. England ranked 5. You'll have to do A LOT more than a 1-2 in Le Tour to overtake Australia who are 300 points in front. It's only possible this year if no Australian male cyclist takes part in any event at all and a British cyclist wins every single event remaining on the World Tour.

Tennis:

Britain's last Grand Slam victory: 1977.

Australia's last Grand Slam victory: 2011.

Brit's ranked in the men's top 100- 1.

Australian's ranked in the men's top 100-3.

Brit's ranked in the women's top 100- 3

Australian's ranked in the women's top 100- 2.

Aggregate victory of 5-3.

Rugby League:

Australia ranked 1, with 1406 points. England ranked 3rd with 799 points.

Cricket:

Tests- England 1 Australia 2.

ODI's- Australia 1 England 3.

Aggregate victory by 1 ranking.

I could go on, but we're better than you at everything except football.

[Kezza 1,965]

[capriccioso 2,545]

Well, since people (, We Hate Scouse) keep holding Liverpool ( ) against me, I'd like to remind everyone that I am on the move:

The black circle is where I live. The blue circle is Glenfield, which is looking like the place we are going to move to. The red circle is Emu Plains, where we may also move to but is unlikely because its so far away from the city. The orange circle is where my uni is located.

[OneMoSalah 8,751]

Well, since people (, We Hate Scouse) keep holding Liverpool ( ) against me, I'd like to remind everyone that I am on the move:

The black circle is where I live. The blue circle is Glenfield, which is looking like the place we are going to move to. The red circle is Emu Plains, where we may also move to but is unlikely because its so far away from the city. The orange circle is where my uni is located.

Mate how long do you have to travel to get to uni, like 538583 days?

[capriccioso 2,545]

Mate how long do you have to travel to get to uni, like 538583 days?

90 minutes one way.

Sydney is a massive city, parts of Camden are 70km away from the city, as is Emu Plains (the red circle). Liverpool is 'only' about 40 km from the city. Liverpool itself is a 40 minute drive east-to-west.

[OneMoSalah 8,751]

90 minutes one way.

That shit cray. I live like not even 5 minutes away from my school.

[manpe 10,861]

Wasn't the street you're moving to called Tottenham? @capriccioso

[capriccioso 2,545]

Wasn't the street you're moving to called Tottenham? @capriccioso

Yes. Tottenham Place

It's all plots of land, hopefully we can find another one. We haven't bought it yet.

[manpe 10,861]

Yes. Tottenham Place

It's all plots of land, hopefully we can find another one. We haven't bought it yet.

So you're moving from Liverpool to Tottenham. Sheesh, what an improvement really

[KonohasOrangeFlash 2,607]

That shit cray. I live like not even 5 minutes away from my school.

I used to literally live about 1 minute away from my high school. It was heaven

[capriccioso 2,545]

That shit cray. I live like not even 5 minutes away from my school.

Crayfish?

[OneMoSalah 8,751]

Crayfish?

You not heard Jay Z and Kayne West - N***** in Paris?