The only place to be

Seems to be a sensible move all round. The price seems fair, he seems to have re-sale value, he solves a few squad problems (which might precipitate a loan move for Piazon), he'll be on lowish wages and he's got a cool name. Some people could at least give him the obligatory 6 minutes into his first game before deciding he's shit.

Our 'transformation' coincided with a Russian billionaire taking us over and spending about £250 million in two years. Funnily enough that's when Lamps really kicked on as a player too. Raul left Madrid aged 33 because he didn't want to be a backup. People seem to want Lamps to stay even if he'll be a bench player. And what the fuck are you saying with the 'clubs with more history' shit. Seriously, what the fuck??? You don't think we have as much history as other clubs you need to pick up the biggest book you can find on Chelsea's history. Now hit yourself round the head with it. The club have signed young, talented players and also have a couple of youngsters coming through the ranks who are Chelsea through and through. They need time, and they need support. It was his first season in English football. He was a great player for us but I'm sorry if that wasn't good enough for you. This season he's scored big goals in big games. He's been our most important player and he will be next season in all likelihood whilst Lamps is at LA Galaxy. I hope they've got enough history for you.

And the most ridiculous argument ever is this "Mata is on course to score 25 goals bla bla". Well, he also was last season in January. But you know what, we entered the crucial time of the season, suddenly his goals and assists began to dry up, his performances went downhill. So I could also say, mata is on course to be outscored by Lamps once again. I made that point, and I think you're totally wrong. You suggest that Mata went downhill in the second-half of the season. I haven't actually checked the stats but is it that surprising in his first season? The simple fact is that he's started scoring important goals in our games and at a decent rate too. The idea that we're going to enter a period of darkness just because he leaves is utter cunting bollocks. It's the type of thinking of the person who didn't know what Chelsea football club was before Lampard joined and ignores the fact that even with Lampard in the team last season, we finished sixth in the league. The truth is that no-one knows what will happen to the club after he leaves, but the board are putting us in a pretty strong position for that eventuality. The type of fan condemning us to failure before we even begin this new period in the club's life isn't the type of fan we really need in all honesty. On a separate note, it's interesting to read that Frank's missus is also coming to the end of her tv contract and has apparently told friends that it's between Italy and America - considering the fact that she already struggles with English I would've thought LA was the best move for both of them.

I lost a lot of respect for Mourinho after this. In rugby there's a term for this type of person - 'gouging cunt'.

You make it sound like there's nothing at Chelsea to tempt him. This is a guy who took his family to New York to experience something new - at Chelsea he could live in the greatest city on Earth, rather than some grim northern shithole. That type of thing would matter to him I think. Plus he has the chance to build something truly amazing at Chelsea. The playing staff is tailor-made for him, the academy is coming of age and he could lead his team into a brand new stadium. Plus he'd get more time than any other manager since Mourinho. Hopefully City win the title and Mancini is retained.

Poor guy. It's a tough time to be out of work and the average person has to wait about 6 months between losing a job and getting a new one. Maybe he could do an IT course to brush up on his Office skills. Hopefully his CV is up to date too.

33, but I agree. Who would sign him (no Zenit jokes) and would his body be up to it?

If Ba plays well and Torres still gets games, then that could finally be what turns the fans against him. In the ground, people feel sorry for him more than anything but if he actually starts to get in the way of someone like Ba getting games then I think things could get ugly for him. Personally, I want him gone as soon as possible so that wouldn't necessarily be a bad thing.

Are they AVB's coaching notes?

Wait....are we now saying we weren't after Modric?

Ooh, and we can have Hazard doing that too. The other team just has to promise not to attack though, right?

His contract is up next summer (2014). Anyone think he's not heading for the door?

Actually, Cech has never played as a striker for us. Oscar has played in that DLP role. You still haven't actually said which position he'll be playing now though. You've said he's a number 10, but Mata is our number 10. Is Mata going to move aside or are we going to sell him?

Our relationship isn't ideal but I doubt they'd begrudge him going there any more than they would if he went to United or City. Grown-ups understand that people need to go elsewhere to work sometimes. Personally, I've found there's a grudging respect between our fans and Barca fans although I try to avoid nincompoops in my life. Our club is actually quite stable in almost every position except manager. Abramovich simply fires underperforming managers because he pays them a lot of money to do a good job. If that's going to scare off Guardiola then I'd totally agree he's the wrong man, but nothing that I've read or heard about him suggests he's that type of man. As for your final point, I think you're dead wrong and I think it highlights EXACTLY why Guardiola is the right man. We've bought expensive ready-made players in the past, but the rules simply don't allow for that going forward (with FFP and homegrown rules). We essentially had to do that to catch-up to the top teams in the past, but now we've got one of the best academy set-ups in the world and it's finally starting to bear fruit. We NEED a manager who will institute an ideology of football from the first-team through every age-group and if you look at the way our youngsters already play and the type of kids we have, it's not far off trying to emulate what they have at Barca. It's what makes him the ideal choice in my opinion. Klopp would be a good alternative because he ticks many of the boxes, except I think there's zero chance of us getting him after recent comments. Well Vilanova's team is 16 points ahead of Mourinho's. In fact Mourinho is starting to look like the Mourinho just before we sacked him (because it wasn't all roses was it?). I think there's always going to be fans who want to go back to something familiar, so much so that they're prepared to ignore the shit that went down. Sure Guardiola inherited a talented team but he took them to another level - we have a lot of talent in our team too, but we just need someone who can come in and unify them. Mourinho could do that, except there's a ton of baggage with him and Roman so why not go for a fresh start with a new guy?

Are we ignoring the fact that Mata has been our best player for over a year now and is still only 24? He doesn't show any signs of giving up that position so to say we should stick Mata as a DLP (which is a deliberate obfuscation of my logic) is asinine. But let's look at Oscar's game too. He has the workrate to play in that DLP position, he has the vision and he's one of the best players I've seen who just keeps things ticking over, a la Modric. That might be his best position for what Brazil needs, but for what we need he seems better suited to a deeper role.

There is a point at which JT's baggage become more trouble then it's worth, and with is injuries and the emergence of Ivanovic and Cahill as a solid pairing I think that point is arriving sooner rather than later. That picture of Lamps with the stupid hashtags after it was totally unprofessional as club captain. He's got a year left on his contract and that'll be it I think.

He's not being sacked. He signed a contract, that contract is coming to an end and the club have decided he's not part of their plans going forward. It could end up being better for the club long-term if he does leave.

So he's going to play the number 10 spot for us? Is he going to be on a job-share scheme with Mata then? Ultimately, I disagree with what you're saying about him going forward. Mata needs to stay where he is and we need a deep-lying playmaker who has all the talents Oscar has. If we're not going to play him there, it's a waste.

So Guardiola had the 'best squad in the history of football', so gets little credit whereas Mourinho inherited a team with Cech, Terry, Lampard, Makelele, Robben, Cole, Duff, Gudjohnson and Gallas and he gets a lot? Despite being one of the architects of arguably the greatest team to ever play the game, it's amazing how underrated Guardiola is still.

The fact that we went after him after we couldn't get our primary target for that position doesn't suggest he might have been bought with that in mind? Fair enough. Where do you think we'll play Oscar then? On Mata's shoulders perhaps?

3 years ago he was 31 and at the heart of the team. Things change quickly in football. Being angry about us buying Taison and not signing Lamps is like being angry that we bought Courtois instead of giving him a contract. They fulfil different needs in the current squad.

That goes in the 'why are we paying Torres so much?' file of false equivalences. When has the club stated anything? Oscar was the guy we went after when we couldn't get Modric. He has all the tools to play in that position and he's not realistically going to play anywhere else is he?

From what I can gather, he'll simply provide competition on the flanks and a different, pacier option upfront. It just seems to be a decent, cheapish deal to provide strength in an area we're lacking a little, especially if Oscar is going to move to a deeper position. Personally I'm not particularly excited by this deal, not am I all that offended by it. He won't be on massive wages and he'll probably have re-sale value at the end if things don't work out.

Yes, that's how I go about learning things I don't know about. I ask people who have more knowledge than me. The one thing my friend emphasised was his versatility. If he can play across the four forward positions then that's one more choice off the bench, especially if Piazon goes on loan as a few people expect him to.

And you're basing that on what exactly? (I have very low expectations of the reply, so even the tiniest insight will impress me).