The only place to be

His passing has been atrocious. The pitch doesn't help that but he really isn't playing as well as he could. 1-0 Arsenal. The pitch is killing a lot of our normal play and our defence really isn't as solid as it should be. Boga doing well and Feruz working hard with balls being pinged into him. Got better towards the end of the half but the players need to get into the game.

It was a perfect indication of how good of a team we were.

Which club? I landed on Fulham because Schwarzer might be on his way out despite him being pretty solid this year. I'm not sure where there might be a spot. I'm not saying we should give him up lightly - he would still command a fee in the transfer market. Statistically he's missing more games season on season (for the last couple of years) and that could become a worrying trend if it continues. He's probably got another season in him but I think Courtois will probably stay at Atletico next year.

Yet the team who won it last year was 6th in their league. Oh, that was Chelsea by the way.

Why do you want Kenyon back?

Don't. You can't. Let him have time to prove it because that's the only way can know.

Our problems have been long in the making and we've been looking to move to a more sustainable form of success for the last couple of years. That is something Jose has to continue. Don't call him the saviour either - it's cringeworthy. Which is why he isn't the only coach in the world who can lead us to success. Yeah, that's exactly what I said. There's a 99% chance you're just pulling percentages out of your arse. Put your cat on - let's hear what it thinks. That's the problem. Anyone else, be it Laudrup, Poyet, Simeone etc. would be a risk, but this appointment isn't without it's own risks. People are putting a lot of pressure on Mourinho before he's even appointed and it doesn't help the club. People like you are only setting yourself up for disappointment and it's fucking cringeworthy seeing 'fans' of this club thinking that everything will be okay if Jose comes home. There are a lot of questions and a lot of things to overcome in terms of personal relationships, approach to management and simply appointing the guy.

A top four finish is important, but that doesn't mean the FA Cup becomes a 'tin pot' all of a sudden.

I didn't say there was anything wrong with it, but it's different to what we've been working towards for two years and the personnel we have might not be conducive to what he wants to play - we simply don't know yet. As for why it's risky, any appointment or signing is risky. But there's history here and that needs to be acknowledged and I couldn't give a flying fuck how many Ferraris and watches Roman sends him. It's very easy to bring up old disagreements the first time you have an argument after getting back together with someone. And if Rafa can win games, there are other managers in the world who can win titles. Jose isn't the only manager who can take great players and a lot of money and win titles.

Which PL club? Sorry Thibaut, but you know you were looking forward to playing in the Champions League next season, something you played a massive part in earning for your teammates of two years, well we'd prefer if you didn't play in that. Martin Jol is expecting you at Craven Cottage in 20 minutes. Love You. Just to remind everyone, we're 19 points behind a team with a young goalkeeper who wasn't as good as Courtois was at Atletico and who's last-minute save forced a replay on East fucking Monday. His save percentage (which is a ridiculous measure for a gk) is only 3% less than Cech's too.

When we say we need a manager who the players will respect yet be fearful of, are we talking about any players other than Frank Lampard, John Terry and maybe Ashley Cole? I fear that we're looking at this problem for the wrong direction - when you have a massive tumour growing in your stomach, you don't buy bigger trousers to fit better....you excise the tumour. I also don't think there's a player in existence who isn't respectful of Michael Laudrup. He's Michael Laudrup. Do I think he'd be a good choice? I'm not sure. That Swansea job seems to attract intelligent managers who have a good regard for the game and he seems to have continued that tradition. He's articulate, he's certainly learned his trade and he seems ready for the next step. He'd certainly be a risk, but the Mourinho appointment is risky too. We sing 'We Want Mourinho' but we don't quite want the same Mourino. We want him to play a slightly different brand of football to last time, with different types of players, with different amounts of money to spend and hopefully a different relationship with ownership/the board. I have the same feeling that every other fan seems to have, that he just feels right as Chelsea manager but nostalgia can sometimes blind people to the reality of a situation (and I'm aware he offers more than nostalgia because he's a world class manager).

We need this player..... Just kidding. I like him as a player, but if I had to describe his style of play it would be 'like Oscar but not as good'. Classic playmaker who can be at the centre of a team and he'll make whichever side he joins better. Arsenal don't really need another Cazorla/Wilshere, we don't, United could do but he's not ideal for them, City could go for him as competition for Silva but I think Liverpool probably suit him best as a replacement for Gerrard and competition for the Brazilian guy whose name I can't remember at this moment and can't be bothered to google despite typing this explanation probably taking considerably more time to do. Eriksen will just be the guy we could've got all those years ago....boo fricking hoo.

For some? You mean most football supporters who get goosebumps and whose eyes well up when they here Abide With Me? 'Tin Pot'

Is English not your first language? That's literally the only explanation for you describing the FA Cup as a 'tin pot'.

https://twitter.com/faegee

Wait...so you're saying Liz Taylor didn't love Richard Burton?? It absolutely can be compared to a marriage in my opinion and I hope like you do that they have both changed for the better. They were both relatively young first time around, and they've had a number of years which have brought their own struggles. I hope that they can do things better this time around, because we would be unstoppable in that instance.

Mourinho is the Richard Burton of managers? Look, all I'm saying is that when you get back with the ex sometimes it's very easy to re-hash the same arguments you used to have. Again, it comes back to the point I made previously that we're all hoping that Mourinho comes back but isn't the same guy we had in 2004. There are a lot of 'ifs' and question marks surrounding this whole episode.

Reminded me vaguely of this Which is no bad thing, because the French seem to consistently get the best football and rugby shirts around.

How about the fact that Roman and Jose have a volatile relationship that ended in divorce once before? How about those old rifts re-open? How about Roman looks at the squad he has and the style of football he wanted and thinks that Jose isn't a good match? How about Laudrup has a falling out with Swansea and his agent starts shopping him? He fits the bill in a number of areas. How about you realise that football and human relationships aren't always logical and any number of things can occur. The universe is a random place and putting all your hopes in one basket is a great way to end up being disappointed. Yes Jose might come, but there's always the possibility that he doesn't and that may ultimately end up being the best thing for this club. That's the way sports and life works - sometimes fate takes you down an unexpected route that ultimately leads to success.

There have been rumours floating around the club about his return because ultimately it's just like any other workplace. Some people just put 2 and 2 together because it ultimately comes down to one man - Roman. It would appear now there is a deal in place in principle but that requires us to finish top four. Not finishing top four doesn't mean he won't come, but that it's not really been countenanced at this point. People like BlueArmy really do need to temper their enthusiasm a little bit though for the sanity of the rest of us and to not make us look like complete mugs. It would be great if he came back (in theory) but he's by no means the only man in the world who can make us league champions next year. There's also the chance of offending the mockers gods by saying with certainty that he's coming back - he isn't. It's just looking a lot more likely than it did a couple of months ago.

So you put £100,000 p/w on the bench rather then cashing in on him? It would also be massively unfair to bench either one in a World Cup year and rob them of a season of playing professional football. I actually like both these guys so acting the cunt to either one of them doesn't exactly appeal to me. Personally, I'd be fine with us installing Courtois as number one and letting Cech leave - it makes financial sense to cash in if we're not going to use him and bring in someone experienced as back-up and look for Blackman to get experience on-loan. But I don't think it works to have them both in the squad. They're both too good to sit on the bench and the one thing you don't want in that position is uncertainty. The defenders need to know who is going to be behind them and start building that rapport immediately.

The idea that money is a salve that alleviates individual suffering is a laughable notion. Torres is not my favourite person but it's clear to see he has lost something physically, and he's simply been unable to recapture it or restructure his game to play at the same level he once did. That then led to what I believe are mental issues - golfers call it the yips but it's not as simple as blaming the person suffering from it. I've been guilty of deriding him when he has fucked up, but in the cold light of day I actually pity the guy. He's a sportsman - he didn't get where he was without a competitive instinct and no amount of money can replace the feeling of being at the top of your game. You say he is the 'sole reason to his mental block of form' and I simply don't agree. It's not a choice anyone makes, and some people simply can't handle certain situations as well as others. That doesn't make them bad humans, it just means they're wired differently. Hopefully people like Cabaye being honest about the pressures they face will make people understand these issues better rather than dismissing them out of hand.

That is a wonderfully naive view that you're lucky to have. Don't ever let reality sully your innocence.

Seriously?