BlueLion.

Moscow. Barcelona at home 2009. Anfield 2005. Anfield 2007. Monaco at home 2004.

Hard-working winger over selfish twat who is constantly moaning about not playing up front despite being worse than Torres? Deal.

When I was a little boy I wanted nothing else, One day my daddy took me to The Bridge to see the Chels. We stood there in The Shed that day my father by my side, When I called out "come on the Blues!" his heart was filled with pride. Yep, I'm a Blue just like my old man, and his old man before him.

Absolutely. The complete opposite of Gael 'I must nutmeg everybody' Kakuta.

England may be shit, but I was born in the same century that our tiny little island nation governed 40% of the world's land surface and had absolute naval dominance over any country on earth. Just saying Now... back to discussing this curly-haired bastard.

Same for every player in world football, Messi and Ronaldo included. On a more local scale you can look at games where Torres and Hazard have done absolutely nothing, but as they are megastars, they avoid all criticisms. No, we've made our minds up of the 8 starts and seven substitute appearances he's made this season. If we're going by your logic, are we not allowed to have opinions on players if they have only played a few games? If that's the case I ban you from talking about Frank Lampard, Daniel Sturridge and John Terry, because the three of them have played less minutes than Moses has this season.

Torres is merely trolling Abramovich to make him offer him a new seven-year deal. He did this last season when he played well from April to May to stop the board from selling him. Until he starts scoring at a decent ratio, let's say five goals in every ten matches, I'll still have my many doubts over his ability. Yet if he plays shit and puts the ball in the net I won't mind one bit. Strikers are supposed to score, and he is doing that at the minute, but against two utterly abysmal teams. Let's see how he does against Norwich and Everton away.

Your translating skills are Brazilliant ( ) - thank you, great read!

Sturridge isn't good enough to be our centre forward, as Walcott isn't good enough to be Arsenal's. So its a case of playing on the wing regularly, or never getting a chance as a striker because the current number 9 is the owner's bitch.

Two fucking months? David Luiz and Lampard in the double pivot then.

He had a right go at that cunt Bardsley. Bardsley raked the back of his calf in the first half, and last season stamped on him. The bloke is an utter cunt.

Thing is we're still Champions of Europe until May, and they're Champions of Fuck-All for a while longer.

We're going to be a privileged few who will turn to our kids and say 'I saw Didier Drogba play for us'.

1. Oscar's second against Juventus 2. Oscar's volley against Shakhtar 3. David Luiz' free-kick against Nordsjaelland 4. Mata's free-kick against United 5. Mata's second against Tottenham 6. Torres against Newcastle 7. Cahill against Tottenham 8. Cahill's header against Nordsjaelland 9. Hazard against Norwich 10. Bertrand against Wolves

Either that, or he's trod on a plug and is wincing in pain.

Surprised he isn't ranting about Rafa. Absolutely obsessed with the man.

Four added minutes. I've never been so nervous about a 3-1 lead, ffs.

I sense a Louis Saha hat-trick coming...

Four goals and an assist for Torres in five games under Benitez. The Rafa-Effect, if you will.

Great goal Torres! Hazard with another assist.

Branislav you better score today son!!

I'll write about something. I don't know what. Maybe about Batman.

A one-trick pony? Is he doing that between constantly tracking back, his interchangeability between playing wide and central, driving down the touchline and crossing, or cutting inside and shooting? Or perhaps because he can only score goals with his head, or can only win us half a dozen penalties a season with his burst of speed, strength and skill and his ability to instantly change direction? Is it because he has built up solid partnerships with four different right-backs this season, as well as the Trinity of EH17, O11 and JM10? One-trick pony indeed.

32 already, wow. I remember him as a spotty teenager.

Their goalkeeper does exactly what Cech does. Just stands still until the ball is struck, as any inclination of movement either way and a good penalty specialist will put it down the other side of the goal. Their keeper waited and pulled off a good save, end of story. It was a decently-hit penalty in fairness.