BlueLion.

He's also a racist psychopath. Rooney might be a granny-basher, but at least he has moderate mental stability. Suarez is a Grade-A lunatic.

Doesn't really show that much ambition, though. CL football, yes, but still no trophies.

Absolutely. I trust his judgement.

Excited to see him get (presumably) half-an-hour tomorrow, should Mourinho follow the old 45-60-75-90 minute routine for his starting XI. Will presumably replace Blackman. I think Cech will play in the more competitive fixtures, so this would be a good game for Jamal.

We just have to take it slow with Ess. Obviously his body has deteriorated through age and injury, but he can still do a decent job for us. As fans, we need an open mind when assessing him, as to compare his future performances with his past ones would be futile.

I think if we have little/no expectations for Essien, we will be fairly surprised. That isn't being harsh; but realistic - obviously he isn't the player he once was. If people expect 2006-08 quality "Bison" performances they will be disappointed. BUT he can still do a job for us. But let's be fair, with him and Mikel we at least have two good options for the CDM position.

^ that's a good point. I don't think anyone would be insane enough to wear a TechFit shirt in those conditions.

^ I was obviously taking the piss! The 1-0 Mourinho win is a thing of the past, we don't have the defensive quality for that anymore.

Closed as he is as good as gone.

Had to change it to Billy. as there already was a "Billy".

I think our league record this season is going to be played 38; won 38. Goals scored 38; goals conceded 0. So, yes, I'm predicting 1-0.

^ Yoda, you talk like.

I have a great idea! Let's find loads of quotes from 18 months ago to make us look really clever and funny. Tit.

For me, the best possible situation is for this to drag out until late August and then us not sign him. It'll mean United can't get rid of him because they won't find a potential suitor, or they'll be forced to sell him on the cheap to Arsenal, for instance. Imagine how delicious that would be. Look at all the trouble Mourinho has caused. He is absolutely schooling Moyes in big-club management right now, and Chelsea have made United look so unbelievably small with the way they dealt with those transfer rumours. This is Moyes' first big failing, but imagine if we pull out or United demand more money? They'll have a disruptive sulking footballer to deal with, fans who are angry because they want him gone and a board that is currently dancing to whatever beat Mourinho and the Chelsea board decide. Whether we sign him or not, this is a massive psychological victory we've scored here, folks.

€65 million?! He isn't worth a third of that.

I know, it's getting silly now. Every time I change a member's name I'm going to write in their signature "formerly known as..."

^ his arse looked bigger than normal, put it that way!

Love how he's got his tan back as well! One of the funny things about exotic European players is that they get whiter and whiter as the season goes on!

Well that wasn't turgid...

^ could be to sign Fabregas.

^ the same reason we're not bidding for Messi and Ronaldo. We can't afford him.

LMAOOOO best post I've seen on here so far this month. Give yourself a high-5 for that one!

Absolutely no need for that. Because someone has a different opinion to you does not make them intellectually inferior.

Again, written by Ben Smith. The same person who said we'd signed Cavani, and that Mata was going to Arsenal (with Nasri and Cesc both staying, back in 2011). He's not exactly prolific.

My choice: