Okay thanks for the help guys, i don't think i can go back, as sad as it sounds it would make me sick to do that and go back. There's a lot more involved about my parents, i cannot say stuff because they are very personal and couldn't put it on the internet but going back just doesn't feel right. I feel i can do this myself, and i have a point to prove, all my life i have been told how lucky i am and how my parents never had this etc, sometimes i feel i was told this too young, now i can't even accept gifts or money off anyone without me thinking i don't deserve this. I need to prove a point and i'll do it, that's why i cannot go back there, going back there would mean going back to square one. I'll always be depressed about that if i don't take the hard route in life. I answered you earlier, but never quoted, this is Middlesbrough i live in, the hardest place in England to find a job. This town is over populated to fuck, and it's very hard to get a job, and with me moving from place to place it isn't helping, i've tried believe me and i have got good grades but it's just impossible to get a job. But i've also ruined it formyself because i didn't apply for them when i needed to, now all the students have took them.