Vesper

Its a mystery to me, and the bloke has not rewarded us for our huge faith in him for shit so far. He has Brasilian over complication and too much flash, not even driving direct football disease he needs to go watch some old film of

We could easily get Telles, but Marina and twats don't rate him, nor did they rate the perfect Sarriball RB, João Cancelo

Well, we can play the 'what if game' Lets say we HAD sold him for £200m Bailey £65m Chiesa £65m Martial £70m net cost zero if we can sold Willian to Barca for £65m we could remove Martial from that list, upgrade him to Icardi (£98m) AND have had £37m left over, WHICH IS EXACTLY what PSG paid for Thilo Kehrer all that would be the same price we DID pay in reality I would take a team with Icardi, Chiesa, Bailey and Kehrer and NO Hazard NO Willian over the opposite, its flat out a better team, and a FAR younger team as well. We only have, after this season, 18 more months of an under 30yo Hazard. Rooney was 31 last fall (and already shit). He is now out of European football and shilling in the shit MLS across the pond. CR7 looks to have finally hit the wall, and just a little over half a year ago, he was 32. The game isn't like it was 20, 30 or more years ago. Serie A is about the only great league where players have sometimes had or maybe will have monster season at over 32-33yo, and those are rare. Ligue 1, meh, I can't take it serious other than a hell of a place to plunder for players. The teams are overall shit. Eden is great, but he isn't Messi or CR7 level in their prime, not even close (sorry if this enrages people, but its the truth) and Willian is simply NOT good enough now (probably never was) for Sarriball Both he and Eden slow the game down too much with over-dribbling, especially Willian (hopefully Sarri can fix this) Also Sell Morata (as now you have Icardi) and you have another £55m or so to play with in January (or put towards but Kovacic, which will take at least £65m or so I fear to prise him away from RM, especially if he has a great year here, which he will, because he is the real deal, a great player stifled by RM)

Zero tweeking (other than the player himself) to toss Barkley into the RW role. I think he would be a beast, he is insanely fast, and pretty technical, and I really think he would score more, as he would have more open shots. I am a big fan, was so happy when we got him, I really think he needs to play upfront more. As you have probably noticed, I don't rate a lot of English players, but he is one I do. I rate (like, to be more accurate) Kane (wish to fuck he wasn't on the team I hate more than any other on the planet) Kyle Walker Ryan Sessegnon Ross Barkley Trent Alexander-Arnold Joe Gomez CHO RLC (I just wish he would play up to his insane athletic skills and body he has! so so so frustrating, same level frustrating as Morata) Luke Shaw (to a point, as IF Alonso leaves and we cannot get Alex Telles or José Gayà or Alejandro Grimaldo or Wendell (maybe), then I will absolutely take him (Shaw) as a LB. Alex Sandro is now, in reality, too old for me to advise to buy. If we got him next summer, we only get 17 months out of him before he hits 30, and as I have shown, there is fuckall for LB's. who are remotely WC who are over 28. As in TWO. Marcelo (who is shit for defence, do NOT want him) and Jordi Alba (again, I do NOT want him) Angus Gunn (we need him as our b/u keeper, if the new rules from Brexit fucking clamp down on foreign players, and yes, I know he is part Scottish, so not pure English) Mason Mount James Maddison Lewis Cook Dujon Sterling Fikayo Tomori Kasey Palmer

Who is Škriniarm? Dayot Upamecano has a 100m euro release clause now, so forget him, as crazy as it sounds, I can see Barca dropping that,as he is like a 5 year younger Umtiti clone and they are terrified RM get him. David Hancko is interesting, but really need to see him perform, as this is first year playing in a big boy league (plus, its the Chiesa nightmare, he is on Fiorentina) Milan Škriniar I really rate high (see some older posts) BUT he only signed for Inter a year ago, and they went all out to get him a great partner in Stefan de Vrij and make a real charge at Juve this year, I do not see them coughing him up for less than £70-80m or so, and thus we are into the big five above league almost in terms of price, and thus unrealistic territory for us. It's basically Pavard and/or maybe one of the two giants, Jonathan Tah (22) and Nikola Milenkovic (20), both 1.95m, but not sure if they are up to EPL and Sarriball pace, they do intrigue me Rúben Dias, 21yo from Benfica Malang Sarr, 19yo from Nice Panagiotis Retsos 20yo from Bayer Leverkusen for me atm maybe toss in Manuel Akanji from Dortmund as another option, or Felix Uduokhai, 21yo from Wolfsburg or Emanuel Mammana of Zenit, 22yo Argentinian/Italian, or Duje Caleta-Car Olympique Marseille, a 21yo Croatian IF Barca do buy Upamecano , I would LOVE to make a move for another player we so so should have made a move for and didn't (just like Malcom), and they ended up snapping up for a bargain price, Clément Lenglet, a superb young (23) French ball-playing CB with great distribution skills. They only paid £69m total for BOTH of them. That all said, I do not see Barca selling any of the 3 players I crave from them and we could have easily had: Malcom, Lenglet and ANOTHER board fuck up, Sergi Roberto (2 years ago we had it all but done, only to blow it up at very end) Lenglet would be superb in a Sarriball CB role. So would AC, if Sarri would play him, lolol.

No, that wouldn't work well, I do not think it would. There really isn't a way to do a 3 4 3 unless we did something like like the old Cruyff 3 4 3 RCB Azpi Sweeper (AC or Luiz) LCB Rudiger then a diamond MF Defensive pivot MF (who also provides support to the back 3 aka the Destroyer role aka Kante) Offensive pivot MF (Jorginho, who is the key engine room) 2 CMF/AMF Kovacic and Barkley, they are zonal roamers and can play wide or occasional one goes up the middle with the diamond shifting to cover RW Pedro or Willian LW Hazard CF Morata or Giroud I think that might work, seems pretty damn offensive to me, and also gives cover to Luiz off course, you have no Alonso in that

Paul Merson names the one player that will cost Chelsea the Premier League title this year https://www.football.london/chelsea-fc/players/chelsea-premier-league-title-luiz-15116569

Barkley > Cesc alllllllllll day, allllllllll night I still want to see if Ross can play RW. It sucks we only have 3 MF slots in the formation, as (I leave it to the others to come up with a good four MFer set-up) it would be great to have Kante, Kovacic, Jorginho AND Barkley all on the field at once.

so so so funny!! One of best vids of the last few months, both Azpi and Amelia were perfect, lol. Her regular gig, Chicken Shop Date.

Eeeeek, I hope that doesn't ever play a role in Pavard refusing to come and play here!! Pavard is my number one realistic CB target especially as, like Azpi, he can play RB too, and Rugani looks like a lost cause for us to buy even next summer (who knows though, he is frozen out of Juve's lineup atm, ZERO minutes so far this season). Varane, Koulibaly (200m euro release clause on new contract, and is 28 next year, so too old after next summer to buy for even £60m to £70m level after that, as why would we pay that much for a CB who we only would get one year under 30yo out of), Marquinhos, Niklas Süle (UJ has me obsessed now with him as the new KK, lol) and José Giménez all not being realistic in my book, as each would be £80m to over £100m now with this crazy inflated market.

It's almost a tossup between Bailey and him who I would take as our new RW. Although, just like Bailey, his favourite position is an an inverted winger, in this case a LW (he is right-footed, but decent with his left as well), the opposite of Bailey, a left-footer who prefers RW, so I still would go with Bailey for our RW. I don't think we could go wrong either way, as they are 21 (Bailey turned in August) and 20 (Chiesa turns 21 in October.) so years of peak time ahead. Dembele as well, but he is too expensive and like I have said in the past, I do not think Barca will sell him now, as he looks to have finally adapted. If we lose Hazard I would love to get both Bailey and Chiesa (they are both so versatile as well). Add in CHO and we have 3 massive wingers for years to come (provided CHO renews). They will be insanely expensive and hard to buy(especially as Chiesa is on fucked up Fiorentina, and Bailey just renewed for 5 years). Here is Bailey's first Bundesliga goal of the year, playing as a RW. So far beyond what Pedro and Willian can do now, look at his pace!

Oh,absolutely NOT suggesting we toss out that squad, that would be crazy. I was just trying to prove a point how bad I think Cardiff are, That's the weakest possible squad we could have atm, IMHO, minus swapping Green for Caballero (some might argue for Morata in for Giroud). Even that squad, save for Cahill (and he still could, could have a big game) and Piazon, is still brimming with talent far above anything Cardiff have. Their 2 best players are arguably Bobby Reid (clear number 1 IMHO, he had a massive Championship campaign for Bristol City, with 21 goals scored in all comps, 19 in the league, BUT that's the Championship, and it was his only remotely good year, look at Abraham (same Championship team as well, Bristol City) for proof it doesn't usually translate well ) and Josh Murphy, hardly the stuff nightmares are made of.

We should be able to start (not that we ever would) Caballero Cahill Luiz Zappacosta Emerson Drinkwater Fabregas RLC Piazon Moses Giroud and beat them soundly. The talent level difference is that great. I know better than to overlook any EPL team, but wow do they have a weak squad. I suppose that means to really beware, lol.

Here are some even younger ones (Piatek will be 24 next July) Pietro Pellegri (huge upside), ironically from Genoa as well (we need to hire their scouting crew for CF's, lol), now at Monaco turned 17 five and a half months ago, scored 3 goals in first 6 Serie A games as a 16 YO, Monaco bought him for £17m in January Date of Birth: Mar 17, 2001 Place of Birth: Genova Italy Age: 17 Height: 1,88 m Nationality: Italy Italy Position: Forward - Centre-Forward Foot: right 11 goals, 14 assists in all games last year 10 Years Of Cheap Thrills Lincoln (17yo) Flamengo Moise Kean (18yo) Juventus (arrrf) Jann-Fiete Arp (18yo) Hamburg Matheus Cunha (19yo) RB Leipzig Myziane Maolida (19yo) Nice Luka Jovic (20 yo) Frankfurt

Articles like this are tosh, as they do NOT take into account NET spending here are the real totals here is our net spending under Roman Transfer spending under Abramovich (net) 2003-04: £151.4m 2004-05: £146.8m NO MORE BIG SPENDING 2005-06: £51.7m 2006-07: £32.2m 2007-08: £13.8m 2008-09: £12.7m PROFIT 2009-10: £23.6m 2010-11: £94.5m here is the last 8 years 2011-12: £57.7m 2012-13: £75.8m 2013-14 £47.6m 2014-15 £6.4m PROFIT 2015-16 £2.7m 2016-17 £21.9m 2017-18 £54.1m 2018-19 £75.1m total £328.5 for the last 8 years (365.8m euros) that's almost a BILLION LESS than the article states £41.1m per year net spend on average total £829.8 m over 16 year time frame that Abramovich has owned us works out to around £51.9m NET per year 36% of ALL money net spent was in the first 2 years take away those first 2 years the average net spend over last 14 seasons (per year) is £37.8m

ITALIAN GIANTS TO BATTLE IT OUT FOR CHELSEA TARGET CHIESA https://readchelsea.com/2018/09/06/italian-giants-to-battle-it-out-for-chelsea-target-chiesa/ Chelsea are reportedly interested in bringing Fiorentina forward Federico Chiesa to Stamford Bridge, according to Calciomercato. Italian giants Napoli, Juventus and Inter Milan are also keeping tabs on the 20-year-old, with the latter reported to have made him their top transfer target for next summer. Snip

I am open to him, but deffo want to see a full season, 4 of his 7 goals were in a Coppa Italia game via a wretched Lecce (winless in Serie B so far) side. If Barca really really want him, it will be an uphill struggle. But, yes, he is on the list of possibilities, especially should Morata never come good. He seems to have explosive pace too, which Morata doesn't have. If Barca is sniffing around, have to believe RM is as well, plus PSG and Bayern and even Juve. I think he may have to have promises made of a starting position (from us) to shift the scales.

A Wine-Drenched Feast. Underground. With Some Greek Gods. THINGS TO DO Divine Proportions We don’t know much about Greek mythology. It’s always been our Achilles elbow. But the people at Shotgun Carousel certainly do. They’re a female led performance collective, and they’re putting on a Greek god-inspired banquet this month. It’s being held in the Vaults underneath Waterloo, and it’s going to be a immersive dining experience “Based on the story of Dionysus, God of Wine and Merriment”. In fact, it’s a modern re-imagining of the very real, very ancient ‘Bacchic Rites’, which involved an indulgent night of eating, drinking and wild dancing that took part as a religious ceremony. Here, in the 21st century, your evening will start as you both literally and figuratively descend into the decadent realm they’ve constructed under the earth through “secret sparkling tunnels”. Here, you’ll be greeted by the priestesses of Bacchus, who will encourage you to “indulge in the smells, tastes and textures of visceral foodstuffs”. After making a quick ‘sacrifice’ (details are terrifyingly unclear on this part) you’ll then be ‘cleansed’ (er, ditto) before being led away to meet Dionysus himself, where the feast can start. That feast will be a five-course truly, literally Bacchanalian affair which – if one were to close one’s eyes and try to picture a decadent & Bacchanalian feast – would look exactly like that. It’s going to be served up on huge gilded tables, and each course will themed after a specific Greek deity or idea, including: During the eating, you can expect a fairly racy cabaret-esque performance, and after the eating, there’ll be an afterparty with a few of ‘the darker celestial beings’ who, given the amount of mass you will have accumulated over the feast… …will likely include you. NOTE: Divine Proportions will be running from 14th September 2018 – 12th January 2019 (with previews from 11th Sept – 13th September). Tickets cost £35-£55 and are available HERE. The Vaults | Leake Street, SE1 7NN https://www.thevaults.london/divine-proportions Wine, dine and celebrate life like the Gods and Goddesses you are, with an evening of DIVINE PROPORTIONS A heavenly new immersive dining experience based on the story of Dionysus, God of Pleasure and Mischief, is brought to you by immersive party pioneers Shotgun Carousel Blurring the lines between feast and fantasy, DIVINE PROPORTIONS reimagines the story of the God of Wine, Hedonism and ritual ecstasy. Every ticket includes a FIVE COURSE BANQUET and an evening filled with out of this world entertainment. ‘Five course feast meets outrageous kitsch cabaret meets all night after-party’ Guests should prepare to be led on a mythological journey to heaven and back, through secret, sparkling tunnels and into subterranean paradise by your mercurial host Dionysus, along with their cohort of cult priestesses; a cavorting band of circus sirens and party starters. Expect course after course of heavenly dishes, cocktails of milk and honey, partying with priestesses, singalong with satyrs and an after party in The Underworld. Dress like the deities you are and join us for an evening of DIVINE PROPORTIONS. #BabyGotBacchus #DivineProportions https://shotguncarousel.co.uk/

AGENT REVEALS ALBANIAN INTERNATIONAL IS WAITING ON SARRI’S CALL TO JOIN CHELSEA https://theshedender.com/2018/09/tabloid-talk/agent-reveals-albanian-international-is-waiting-on-sarris-call-to-join-chelsea/ The agent of Napoli full-back Elseid Hysaj has confirmed that contract negotiations with his current club have been halted as the player hopes to make a move to Chelsea in the future. Speaking to Radio Marte (quotes via Transfermarketweb.com), Mario Giuffredi said that the defender is waiting on an offer from the Blues: Hysaj is a player that manager Maurizio Sarri knows well. He came through the academy at Empoli, where he was managed by the Chelsea boss, and within months of being hired as Napoli manager, the Albanian joined him at his new club. The right-back’s current deal expires in 2021 so there is no chance of the Blues getting the 24-year-old on the cheap despite contract negotiations with the Partenopei stalling. He is an important member of the first team for the Serie A side, making 46 starts in all competitions under Sarri last season. He remains a regular starter under Carlo Ancelotti as well, having started the first three league games. snip

Mason Mount's comments about emulating Chelsea legend Frank Lampard couldn't be more spot on https://www.thechelseachronicle.com/premier-league/mason-mounts-comments-about-emulating-chelsea-legend-frank-lampard-couldnt-be-more-spot-on/ The gap between the youth team and first team in the Premier League seems to be growing every year. Whereas youth team players used to be given a chance – whether it be when a senior player wasn’t available or their talent demanded they play – the opportunity doesn’t seem to be there anymore. It probably all boils down to the ruthlessness of the Premier League and the demand for instant success. But Mason Mount is going about getting into the Chelsea team the right way. snip

LOLOL here is yer laff for the day “Lukaku is already better than Drogba” – Big claim about Man United striker and Chelsea legend http://sportwitness.co.uk/lukaku-already-better-drogba-big-claim-man-united-striker-chelsea-legend/

Premier League want Government to scrap foreign star restrictions with Brexit set to stop the next N'Golo Kante coming to England http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sport/football/article-6133395/Premier-League-want-government-scrap-foreign-star-restrictions-Brexit.html The Premier League is becoming increasingly concerned about the impact Brexitwill have on clubs' ability to sign European players. With just over six months remaining until the United Kingdom leaves the European Union, the English top-flight is still waiting for clarification on how it will be affected in the transfer market. According to The Daily Telegraph, the Premier League is calling on the Government to ensure there are no restrictions placed on signing foreign players amid fears for the worldwide popularity of English football. During talks with the Government and the Football Association, the Premier League called for football to be exempt from any new rules that limit access for European workers after Brexit. The fear is that the current work permit restrictions on players from outside the European Economic Area (EEA) will be extended to EEA countries as well. This means incoming players to the Premier League would have to be senior internationals or command a considerable transfer fee to be allowed to work in the UK. While this would likely mean business as usual for the Premier League's leading clubs, it could adversely affect lesser clubs wanting to bring in European players. Research conducted by data scientists Laurie Shaw of Harvard University and quoted by the Daily Telegraph suggests that 591 of the 1,022 signings from EEA countries made during the Premier League era would not have gained a work permit. snip

Anthony Martial and Simon Mignolet headline players who wish they'd moved clubs http://www.espn.com/soccer/english-premier-league/23/blog/post/3623068/anthony-martial-and-simon-mignolet-headline-players-who-wish-theyd-moved-clubs The summer transfer window has also officially closed in Europe, but there are 10 notable players stuck in the Premier League who might wish they had found a move. Nick Miller runs down those who will be counting down the days until January. SNIP 4. Victor Moses, MF, Chelsea If you suggest footballers deserve sympathy, then you'll frequently get quite short shrift, but sometimes it is worth dwelling on the fragility of their positions. In Antonio Conte's 3-4-3 system, Victor Moses -- previously a fourth-choice winger -- had carved himself a niche as a wing-back and performed very well in that role. Now, with Mauricio Sarri's 4-3-3, he's back to being that winger behind quite a few other players in the queue for a first-team place. Perhaps this will change. After all, who saw him becoming that wing-back in the first place when Conte arrived? But at the moment, that seems optimistic. 3. Tom Heaton, GK, Burnley Perhaps they were distracted by the early stages of the Europa League, but Burnley's summer didn't seem to make much sense. They didn't make a signing until the last week of the transfer window, and that was to bring in Joe Hart after Nick Pope suffered an injury. That felt a bit like buying a new shirt because a button fell off an old one, particularly as Tom Heaton was returning from his own injury. That leaves Heaton, who might well have gone to the World Cup had he not missed much of last season, in a curious position: seemingly second-choice now and presumably third when Pope returns. It's possible he could seek to leave in January. 2. Simon Mignolet, GK, Liverpool Plenty of people on Merseyside were relieved when Loris Karius left for Besiktas on loan, not least Karius himself. This was a chance for reinvention and for the young German to rebuild his shattered confidence. But while he might not have suffered the same cataclysmic single game as Karius, one would imagine Simon Mignolet's self-belief can't be sky-high after spending much of last season on the bench -- where he's now likely to stay, unless something happens to Alisson Becker. "I find it bizarre that Karius was loaned while I also had options to be loaned," he said recently. It's going to be a long few months until the winter window opens. 1. Anthony Martial, FW, Manchester United In some respects, Anthony Martial is lucky because he has become a much better player when out of the Manchester United first team than in it. He has become something of a cause celebre for Mourinho sceptics, a great lost talent cast aside at the whims of one manager despite rarely achieving his clear potential on the pitch. Also, if the stories about him signing a new contract against Mourinho's wishes are true, then this might have worked quite nicely for Martial. But it's still difficult to escape the feeling that he would be much happier somewhere else. One suspects we'll be revisiting this situation again soon.

I can offer you the pole for a hug lololol