Vesper

Torreira, Leno (as backup GK, which he apparently IS, lol), Mattéo Guendouzi, and their 2 main strikers (for a temp solution to our ills there) are literally the only goona players who even remotely interest me. I never fancied Héctor Bellerín, other than his clothing, lol. The rest of their squad is rats piss in my book. I detest Özil.

His net worth would double in 2 years. £45bn. Then he can buy us Mbappe and SMS too, and build a stadium in the middle of the fucking Thames!

I just left him in for shits and giggles. In 2 years Mount can replace him. Now we just need Ratcliffe's chemi firm to make a mind altering drug to use on Bayern to get them to cough up those 4 players!!!

I do. He was a great buy. Vastly superior to anything Manure and Arsenal have. I would not trade him for any of the spuds CB's either, although they also are far better than anything Manure and the goonas have.

Ffs, Cardiff should have scored on that header, arfff

Was a horrid mistake by Bamba, their CB.

Cardiff's entire team is worth much less than HALF of what just Hazard is. They have no player valued over £9m on TM, and only 5 worth over £5m. staggering that they are in the EPL with this team. I would take Stoke (who are playing like shit so far, Gary Rowett will get sacked by Xmas if he doesnt turn it around), Aston Villa, West Brom (even after massive player losses as they brought in some smart buys/frees/loans), and Middlesbrough's squads over theirs any day. Shows you how shambolic Arsenal are atm, as the game is tied 2-2-. LOLOL

Same reason Sarri goes with Luiz over AC? In other words, I have zero clue.

Sarri made a very prescient comment post game. He said these grinder games play into his hand as we utterly wear out the other team with passing and pressing for the first 60 to 70 minutes, then we go in for the kill.

Xhaka is a fucking nightmare for them, like Alonso and Luiz rolled into one bad defensively. Emery will be as grey as Wenger by season's end, lolol.

Lpool has serious depth issues, I am convinced (they will fix it by end of next summer window I am sure) They have probably the best CB tandem in EPL now that Gomez has exploded (I think he is their POTM) BUT after them it is a huge drop off, as Dejan Lovren and Matip are their ONLY other CB's LB they are fucked if Andrew Robertson goes down,as Moreno is even worse that Alonso defensively, and if they have to pull out Gomez and play him at LB, they are then not only way weaker at CB, BUT have only ONE backup CB, one. Starting MF is great (Keita is a MONSTER), BUT Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain out for the year and then Fabinho being a bust (so far) again creates depth issues. Henderson looked terrible yesterday, and Adam Lallana (one of my least favourite English national team players, I must disclose) has really went downhill. They need Fabinho to come good badly, as those 2 are their only backups if he isn't on the squad. On the 2 wings, they are truly world class (Mane,Salah) at starter, but only RW backup is Xherdan Shaqiri, and they have NO backup at LW. Striker is the same, Firmino is a beast, but a drop off with Sturridge,then a huge drop off in Solanke (lolol, so glad we dumped him). Divock Origi is a wild card. Overall striker is not nearly as bad depth wise as their back 4, MF (unless Fabinho gets it together) and their wingers. GK (like most teams), they have bad number two option, Mignolet, who Klopp ripped a new asshole in public recently, lololol. Deffo the scousers are not as deep as Barca, RM, Shitty, Juve, Bayern, AM, or PSG, which are the only other teams that can win CL, IMHO.

Cardiff v Goonas links if anyone wants http://streamspn.com/tv/nbcsn https://www.easysport.tv/games/cardiff-vs-arsenal/ both are HD quality

So here is the plan. Ratcliffe buys the team and offers Bayern 400m euro (as they are fixated on euro and it is £360m which is also inline perfectly with the low end of my £90-100m valuation due to group discount rate, lol) for Alaba, Kimmich, Süle, and Goretzka. We liquidate (I only list back 4 and MF) Cahill, Luiz, Alonso, Azpi, Zappacosta, Moses, Fabregas, Drinkwater, and buy Pavard for RB backup and CB depth and Kieran Tierney for LB backup-future. The buys would come up to around £440m in total. The sales around £220m. So a net spend of £220m which is both FAR less in 2018 quid than Roman' biggest net spend year (2004-5, inflation adjusted around £260m net) and £30 to 80m less than Mbappe alone would go for. We can deal with wingers and centre forward as the picture of targets and sales becomes clearer (ie Willian, Hazard, Pedro, Morata, Giroud, Abraham, Bats on sale side if forced (£375m or so generated) versus buys of Belotti, Martial, Martinez (3 main striker options IMHO, maybe Werner too, or pipe dream Dybala or Icardi), RWers Bailey, Chiesa, Neres, Bernardeschi and one of 2 Barca, ie Dembele or the just bought Malcom and finally LW if Hazard goes) options (far less high quality options than LW left, unless we force RM to sell Asensio to get Eden) of Bailey (keep him at LW and buy another of the RWers above) Martial, same as Bailey, keep him at LW, just need another striker then from the list above, Julian Draxler, Kingsley Coman (Bayern wont sell I bet), Sané (pipe dream, zero chance Pep lets him go) Julian Brandt (Bayer Leverkusen would never sell both him and Bailey in same year), Ryan Sessegnon, or finally a dark horse, Mikel Oyarzabal from Real Sociedad, 21 and crazy skilled. Lets say we buy Belotti, Bailey, Martial, Neres and Oyarzabal. Plus Kovacic. I estimate thats £375m or so. A wash That means an overall net spend of around £220m, and again that £40m LESS net than Roman spent in 2004-5 adjusted dollars. I will even toss in £30m for extra costs. £250m net, still less. Insane team for £250m net (I know its not possible, I just like to fuck around). GK Kepa CB Süle CB Rudiger CB AC CB Pavard (he is RB backup too) CB Ampadu LB Alaba LB Tierney RB Kimmich DMF Kante DMF Jorginho CMF Kovacic MF RLC AMF/CMF Goretzka AMF Barkley RW Bailey RW Oyarzabal LW Neres LW CHO STRIKER Belotti STRIKER Martial Crazzzzy team, CL winning team probably, if Belotti and Martial come huge good, maybe top scoring team in Europe. I know a couple names may not be that familiar (Neres, Oyarzabal, even Goretzka) trust me, those are STUNNING players, crazy technical and amongst best passers at their positions. That team is also so so young, in prime.

Not to be the piss on the parade, but Alonso turns 30 in the middle of the season after next. The only world class LB's over 28 (ie 29 years old and older) atm are Marcelo (31 in May) and Jordi Alba (30 in March). Not joking. Next step down (and it is a HUGE one) is 33yo ex Chelsea Filipe Luis, 33yo (in 2 months) ex Shitty Aleksandar Kolorov, 33yo in February Nacho Monreal (never rated him much, and he is an goona cunt), 30yo (in December) Kwadwo Asamoah (who Juve let go on a free), and 29yo ex Chelsea Ryan Bertrand. None of those 5 are remotely world class anymore or never were. There are no other remotely close to even those 5 unless you claim 37yo Patrice Evra (who cannot find a club to sign him) or 33yo Gaël Clichy (playing for a middling team in Turkey) or 33yo Leighton Barnes are now at some high level, lolol. This gen of LB's has not aged well at all. Also, zero chance Alonso will be better than Alaba (who is 18 months younger too) in terms of best LB in the world. I dont think there is a poster on this board who wouldn't bite their own hand if Bayern said let's do an even swap in January, Alaba for Alonso. I would think Lucas Hernandez (22) or Mendy (just turned 24 six weeks ago) or Alex Sandro (almost same age as Alonso, 29 days younger) would also fall into that scenario. In point of fact, the gap between first and second best LB is the biggest at any position in football, unless you narrow out deep holding playmaking (ie. Jorginho, Busquets types) DMF's from just pure destroyer types, where Kante probaly has a bigger gap over number 2 Casemiro than even Alaba has over whoever you rate number 2 (for me it is Lucas, who has passed up Alex Sandro, others will pick another. Marcelo is even worse on defence than Alonso, so there's that). Kante no longer even plays that role with us though. I am NOT bashing Alonso, I am so glad he is playing well. I think we can win a shit tonne of games because of him (far more than he may cost us on the defensive end.) I just needed to put things into perspective.

Calls for Chelsea’s Marcos Alonso to be banned after Bournemouth https://www.101greatgoals.com/top-stories/calls-chelsea-alonso-ban-bournemouth/ Lololol

I never include Niklas Süle, same reason I do not include Alaba and Kimmich and Goretzka (unless it is a pure ranking list, like above with my LB's, not a target list)... Bayern wont sell any of the 4 for less than £90 to £110m EACH (not joking at all) and in reality won't sell any at all for many years. We bid £35m to Hoffenheim in 2016 for Süle, and he himself said no to all English clubs. He wants to live in Germany. I do not blame the board for him, we made fair bid attempt. Remember my list was realistic pre summer 2018 targets only.

Based on what the teams who had those paid, you could have every one of those players (I will use Martinez for Striker, Talisca for AMF, and Bailey for RW, as I have multiple options there) for around £93m TOTAL. Again, we could have purchased (based off of what their pre summer of 2018 club paid): Pavard Rugani Telles Cancelo Kovacic (by far the most expensive as RM paid £28 for him from Inter) Haidara Talisca Bailey Lautaro Martinez ALL for £93m TOTAL Coincidentally, that is the EXACT amount we turned down for just Willian and Luiz this year from Barca and PSG (which also then lead DIRECTLY to 2 of my huge misses listed above... Thilo Kehrer (bought by PSG) and Malcom(Barca). AND PEOPLE WONDER WHY I SAY OUR BOARD IS SHIT!!!!!! (NOT EVEN TALKING ABOUT KDB OR SALAH, ETC)

If you want to talk about a REALISTIC tailor-made Sarriball rebuild then I would add (I also put on a few huge misses we bollocksed up) Remember this is not a complete starting lineup CB Rugani (he isnt getting shit for playing time atm so take another crack) CB Pavard (again he will be RB b/u as well, so a 2-fer) Miss CB...... Thilo Kehrer LB Alex Telles RB João Cancelo CMF ffs buy Kovacic on perm (sell the deadweight!) And then grab Amadou Haidara from RB Salzburg AMF Talisca or Carlos Soler or Kai Havertz Miss AMF...... Golovin RW Bailey or Chiesa or Pulisic or David Neres (Ajax and similar to Malcom) Miss RW... Malcom Striker (United will never sell us Martial or any other decent player, I am convinced more each day) which leaves one under 30 true option..... Andrea Belotti. If not him, Lautaro Martínez from Inter. Sarri could turn him into a superstar. Dream Striker atm Dybala (he is, like Rugani, getting shit for minutes in Juve new 4 3 3 formation) Those options are all born to play Sarriball

I am not sold on Shaw. you know my favourite (available or not) non-Alonso/Emerson LB's by now (with a new number 2) Marcelo is HORRID on defence, so no thanks, and I detest Jordi Alba, plus both are ageing, especially Marcelo, who has looked bläää so far this year. (although he always starts slow) Alba is 30 in a few months, Marcelo 31 in May In order (13 listed, as obviously Marcelo and Alba would be in there, but I refuse to list them as options) David Alaba (by far, and also overall best fullback, full stop) Lucas Hernández Alex Sandro Benjamin Mendy Alex Telles José Gayà Faouzi Ghoulam Alejandro Grimaldo Andrew Robertson Raphaël Guerreiro Wendell Layvin Kurzawa Dalbert Young prospects worth watching Theo Hernández 20yo (on loan at Real sociedad from Real Madrid,good luck prying him away, and Ithink RMis insane loaning him out, as they haveshit for LB backups, so if Marcelo goes down, they will have to scramble) Marcelo Saracchi 20yo RB Leipzig, they just bought him from River Plate for £11m Borna Sosa 20yo VfB Stuttgart just bought from Dinamo Zagreb for £6m tall (1.84m) pacey, huge upside Aarón Martín 21yo on loan to Mainz from RCD Espanyol Hamza Mendyl 20yo Schalke just bought from Lille for £7m Toni Lato 20yo Valencia CF Jorge 22yo on loan to Porto from Monaco

I was having a laugh, obviously. I rate Laporte 6th or 7th best CB on the planet, certainly top 10, atm. Best uncapped player in football as well. His distribution is unreal, and he is pacey and great at marking/tackling.

TO THE BENCH! We turned down a combined £93m for those 2, take that, add £5m, and we would have had Icardi (£98m release clause)

Luiz plus £40m for Laporte please. Yet another board Marina special cock up from a couple years back. SMDH

Cardiff is the worst team in the EPL. I rate this 90% plus we get the full 3 points.

Great call, he needs to go to the track.

Does it have a Chelsea ban in it? Arff, no release clause either. Next summer is the last summer he interests me anyway, due to age. Ah, what could have been. Sigh.