Vesper

Merci, gentleman Ged, et adieu Sign up now! Sign up now! Sign up now? Sign up now! Gérard Houllier at Anfield, the place he called home between 1998 and 2004. Photograph: Malcolm Goy/Shutterstock Scott Murray RIP GED Gérard Houllier never did win the league with his beloved Liverpool. Not technically. But he did win the FA Cup. And the League Cup. And lift Euro Vase after the Greatest European Final Ever. And the Super Cup and Charity Shield. And another League Cup. And he built a team that only required the addition of Xabi Alonso and Luis García, plus moving Jamie Carragher over a bit, there you go son, stand there, to win Big Cup in the Greatest European Final Ever II. And without his root-and-branch philosophical rebuild of the club, there’d have been no chance of Rafa going close, of Brenny going closer, of Jürgen going even closer before finally, at long last, getting there. Ged, who has died at the age of 73 after a heart operation, set Liverpool’s title ball rolling in the right direction again, all those years ago. History will mark his contribution. We’re chalking one up for him, put it that way. Gérard Houllier, former Liverpool and France manager, dies aged 73 Read more Ged’s greatest signing was Sami Hyypia; his most romantic, Jari Litmanen; his cleverest, Gary McAllister. All played their part in that 2000-01 treble season packed with memories. Safe Hands Sander lifting the League Cup with a 1950s-style Tiger-comic cry of “hooray”; Stéphane Henchoz performing octopus tricks on the goalline to set the scene for Michael Owen running away giggling, what was rightfully Arsenal’s tucked under one arm; Robbie Fowler wandering about Dortmund with Euro Vase while dressed as the title character from Gilligan’s Island. Oh, and that McAllister free kick against Everton, to which Ged reacted with a perfect mix of disbelief, delirium and delight, the football-loving little boy sparkling in his eyes once again. Beautiful scenes. Houllier could well have won the league in 2002 in any case. His team were more than good enough, and full of confidence after the treble-winning season, but their campaign was derailed by the aortic dissection that nearly took him, then aged only 54, way too soon. He was never quite the same force of nature after that huge scare, though that didn’t stop him going on to win a couple of French titles with Lyon, adding to the one he’d secured for PSG back in 1986, the first in the club’s history. Throw in his contribution to the great France teams of 1998 and 2000, developing the likes of Thierry Henry and David Trezeguet, and that’s some body of work to leave behind all right. Merci, gentleman Ged, et adieu. QUOTE OF THE DAY “My mate, my colleague, my boss. One of the greatest moments of my life was when we come together in 1998. Just to be in his company was an absolute treat. So loyal, so passionate and extremely fierce. Since we finished, at the end of every conversation we had, I told him I loved him and would always be grateful for him giving a wonderful partnership. RIP Boss” – Phil Thompson with a heartfelt tribute to the man he assisted in the Liverpool dugout. Good times. Photograph: Phil Noble/PA RECOMMENDED LISTENING The latest Football Weekly will be here soon. FIVER LETTERS “Back in the days before I worked on Big Website, my best mate had to undergo major heart surgery at Broadgreen Hospital in Liverpool and was understandably bricking it. It turned out the surgeon was the same man who repaired Gérard Houllier’s heart a year earlier. I wrote to Liverpool, more in hope than expectation, to ask if Houllier would perhaps pen a short note wishing him well as I thought it would help ease his nerves and do him the world of good. A few days later who turns up at his bedside to talk about all things Liverpool with him? Yes, Géd. What a man!” – Gregg Bakowski. “So the last 16 of Big Cup was drawn today. Remember when this was the Round of Arsenal? Heady days, Gooners, heady days” – David Maddock. “After enduring the Manchester derby, Crystal Palace v Spurs and Arsenal v Burnley, I’m just curious how long we all have to pretend that there’s any quality football or vague semblance of entertainment this season? P.S. I’m asking on behalf of a bored friend who has too much time on his hands and will be watching regardless anyway …” – Noble Francis. Send your letters to [email protected]. And you can always tweet The Fiver via @guardian_sport. Today’s winner of our prizeless letter o’the day prize is … David Maddock. RECOMMENDED SHOPPING Available at our print shop now, Tom Jenkins’s pictures of the past decade. There’s also this Pelé picture there too. NEWS, BITS AND BOBS The Big Cup tombola came and went, and it’s bad-ish news for Chelsea and Liverpool, while Manchester City got a kinder draw against Borussia Mönchengladbach. To Big Vase! Manchester United have drawn La Liga leaders Real Sociedad, while Arsenal will be overjoyed to have picked Benfica out of the hat. The results of the Big Cup tombola, in full. Photograph: Harold Cunningham - UEFA/Uefa/Getty Images Frank Lampard’s Chelsea manager Frank Lampard, who used to make intelligent runs into the box and has a GCSE in Latin, thinks more fans should be allowed back into stadiums. Won’t somebody think about the coffers of Big Cup clubs? Kiernan Tierney thinks the blame for Arsenal’s worst start to a season in over 45 years lies solely with the players. “There’s no way to disguise it. It’s terrible, to be honest” sobbed Tierney. “We have got a great manager and we believe in him 100%. The blame is on us, nobody else.” Borussia Dortmund manager Lucien Favre is now just Lucien Favre after the Bundesliga club sacked the 63-year-old following the 5-1 defeat to Stuttgart. Neymar knacked himself in PSG’s defeat and some guy called Leo Messi saved Barcelona: it’s all in our snazzy Euro round-up. And in USA! USA!! USA!!!, awesome ballers Columbus Crew won the local trophy. STILL WANT MORE? Gérard Houiller’s obituary, charting his journey from being a language assistant in Liverpool in 1969 to his managerial heyday. And here’s a lovely video tribute too. Andy Brassell on that Dortmund sacking and their temporary appointment of Edin Terzic, who according to the picture in this article, has just arrived from a Sum 41 video. Sum 41 vibes, right. Composite: Reuters/Getty Images Adam White and Eric Devin on how Lyon beat PSG, and the brilliance of young Brazilian Lucas Paquetá. Count ‘em, here’s 10 things from the weekend’s Premier League action. And Rachel Brown-Finnis has reviewed the WSL action here, too. Nicky Bandini on the demise of Fiorentina, and why romanticism between Cesare Prandelli and La Viola might not be enough. Casey Stoney, the Manchester United manager, speaks exclusively to Suzanne Wrack. Oh, and if it’s your thing … you can follow Big Website on Big Social FaceSpace. And INSTACHAT, TOO! THERE HAVE BEEN BETTER YEARS

2007–08 Derby County F.C. came close, but even they drew 8 times (they won ONE EPL game, 17 September 2007 Newcastle United H 1–0) The only other game they won has in the FA cup, a replay in which they beat Sheffield Wednesday on pens, then were crushed by PNE 4 days later Derby became the first club in Premiership history to be relegated in March and only the second in post-war English Football league history. They also accumulated the league's lowest points total since the introduction of 3 points for a win with just 11 points, as well as the record for the fewest wins in a Premier League season with just 1 victory in 38 games; also most defeats (29), fewest goals scored (20), most goals conceded in a 38-game season (89), longest run without victory (32 matches), and earliest relegation (29 March). By the season's end, Derby had equalled Loughborough's 108-year Football League record of going through an entire season with only one win. Their top scorer was Kenny Miller with 6 goals, all comps (4 in the EPL) No one else had more than 3, all comps (3 other players had 3 goals a piece)

I can see that being a valid argument NOTHING though makes up for the De Bruyne sale that will haunt me for life

other than selling De Bruyne and buying Kepa (only because of how much we paid and then the fucking SEVEN year contract on a high as hell wage, if he was a Mendy level buy, then no biggie), Drinkwater is the worst transaction in the history of the club, he has passed up Torres I still want vengeance for whatever cunt thought up this shite just insane that he will end up costing us over £60m net spend!!!!! fuck

my winners Shitty Bayern Bindippers Juve PSG (almost flip a coin level with a deeply troubled Barca) Dortmund (Håland will be back by then) Real flip a coin (us v AM) <<< no way to spin it, other than MAYBE Barca, this one was the only team I feared drawing, smdh, we have horrid luck lately with draws add in AC Milan and Spuds to those 10 teams (10 because I said flip a coin between us and AM and then almost flip a coin with PSG and Barca) and you have (literally) the 12 best teams in the world atm IMHO (as Inter are playing like dogshit) potential upsets Real going out to Atlanta (IF Atalanta are on their game and have sorted the Papu Gómez nightmare, if not, Real will destroy them) Dortmund getting picked off by a disciplined Sevilla team Barca (if you count it as an upset) beating PSG

Tiemoue Bakayoko has impressed Napoli so much that they are reportedly already in talks with Chelsea to buy him outright for €18m. The midfielder had already worked with coach Gennaro Gattuso during another loan spell at Milan, and since Chelsea bought him from Monaco for €40m in 2017, has also been loaned to his old club. The cost of the loan at the Stadio San Paolo is €2m and there is no option to buy, but La Gazzetta dello Sport and La Repubblica claim there is a gentleman’s agreement between the clubs for €18m. Once the talks are finalised for Gattuso to extend his contract to June 2023, which is expected later this month, then Napoli can turn their focus over to Bakayoko’s situation. and further detail Napoli are reportedly on the verge of signing Tiemoue Bakayoko on loan from Chelsea, but there is no option to buy in the deal. According to multiple Italian sources, including Sky Sport Italia and Sportitalia, an agreement is practically done between the clubs. The midfielder is also said to be enthusiastic about the transfer, having already played one season in Serie A on loan at Milan. He had been linked with a return to the Rossoneri, but they wanted an option to buy rather than an obligation for €25m. It seems as if Napoli are content to accept a dry loan – without an option to buy – that will reunite Bakayoko with his former Milan coach Gennaro Gattuso. The 26-year-old spent last season on loan at Monaco, the club he had left for €40m in the summer of 2017. the thing that is shite is that Bakayoko has played VERY well at all 3 clubs since he is out on loan (the only club he ever was shit as was, of course, us, ffs), yet what we will get for him keeps shrinking typical market raping (as it always is in fucking Italy!!) he was the one big buy I was wrong on (whether for or against) in the last few years, other than Kepa (I was so against the cash we dropped, I just never expected Kepa to be as HORRIFIC as he turned out to be, and I was a bit unhappy with the 7 year contract as well)

IF we extend the list out to include AMF, RMF, LMF, and SS's who can play winger then I would add in bold black are NOT available Bold Red are WC or potentially so the 6 in big type are the best available IMHO (Grealish will cost a bloody fortune) the last 3 in big, bold red are all super youth prospects, potentially some may be as good as anyone on the list or near it João Félix Paulo Dybala Phil Foden Philippe Coutinho (last window for him on any lists, due to age) Nicolò Zaniolo Jack Grealish (insanely expensive, but would be a MASSIVE pull, I rate the hell out of him) Bukayo Saka Dominik Szoboszlai (more AMF than winger tbh) Julian Brandt Christopher Nkunku Dani Olmo Giovanni Reyna Carlos Soler (more MF than winger, he is such a sleeper, shocked no bigger team has not made a move for him, wonderful passer and can score too, sort of a poor man's Cesc Fàbregas, class player) Rayan Cherki (if the summer 2021 window ends before August 17th (when he turns 18yo), he is too young due to Brexit) Florian Wirtz Julian Draxler Mohamed Ihattaren Todd Cantwell Isco Thiago Almada Naci Ünüvar

IF we move for Sancho, then we absolutely have to liquidate most all of the dregs we have I have listed the 11 we can sell for the most dosh (we have a total of 23 or so to liquidate), and that would yield (even at very low conservative yields) £180m to £200m or so that would be enough to buy both Rice and Sancho BUT we need to really start selling them off ASAP let us all hope Sarri gets a new gig and thus will squeal for his new team to buy Jorginho

I think we can take these fuckers out, especially if they have injuries José Giménez has missed more games than he has played so far (is out atm as well) although some of that was COVID-19 at the beginning without him they are down to only 3 CB's on the roster they also, atm, have zero backups LB's (Saul as an emergency one) they have no true DMF's at all, unless you count the cuntish dwarf on loan from Arsenal, Lucas Torreira, who I think we can overrun if he plays there strong as hell at CMF but again, zero AMF's on the roster they also have zero backup RWers, so would have to pay the bust Thomas Lemar or Vitolo there if Correa cannot have a go SS and CF they are loaded Felix and Suarez and Marcos Llorente (the huge wild card, if he is on and playing great they are almost unbeatable, ask Victimpool) all can do mad damage (Diego Costa is out injured yet again) key to stopping them is to contain Saul, Felix, and Suarez if José Giménez is healthy, their defence is world class as well

holy fuck, 4 nil amazing collapse by the 6th place team (Cadiz) in La Liga

arf, off the post, or would be 1 1

this is one of those rare games where you basically have the absolute strongest line-ups possible for both teams

great goal Nolito 1 nil

2020-2021 LaLiga Celta Vigo Cádiz https://www.vipleague.cc/celta-de-vigo-vs-cadiz-cf-streaming-link-1

I do not like the EPL table, as when you give manure, shitty, and villa their games in hand, we are 7th, almost 8 (shitty right under us on GD.) The fact Manure is likely above us is sickening. Those insanely numerous PGMOL robbery calls in their favour may cost us the CL next year. It is why I go so batshit crazy. It is so strange but I think I hate Manure now more than the bindippers and closing in on spuds. Victimpool now have nothing really to deny them anymore (now that they won the epl, but I still hate 99% of all scousers, most ar vermin). Spuds obviusly do have many things to deny. But I fucking hate the way Manure is being saved by the refs. None of the other teams in the EPL get the amount of dodgy calls week in and week out. Not pool, not shitty, not us, not arse, not spuds, no one. Only leagues where teams get this are Barca/Real in La Liga, and Juve (used to be AC Milan as well) in Serie A, plus Bayern (to a lesser extent, Germans are pretty fair overall, unless it involves war, lol) in the Bundelisga. PSG gets bad calls against them all the time, most of France hates them, save for Mbappe. Btw, I know I am pretty much the only one who rambles on about it, but GODDAMN us losing that fucking 2012 FIFA World Club championship. The dipper and manure cunts ALWAYS hold that over our heads, as they can claim world champions and we cannot. Fuck!

He is a fool. He is 33yo in 2 months, and will never find a system that is adapted for him like Atalanta's is.

@Jason @bigbluewillie All my winger suggestions were for an 'under 40m quid 4th winger' for depth and rotation IF we now assume the worst and Pulisic turns medical bust (or the ultimate problem occurs and CHO ends up a bust too, leaving us with only Ziyech as a viable true winger) then those names I listed are not good enough to be the replacements atm (if ever) at that point, hard pass on Hazard, who will be 30, 31yo (or if we are talking summer 2022, 31, 32yo) and is himself now oft-injured (not a chance he would come back in summer 2021 for less than 40m quid to meet my '4th' winger role, Real will end up paying us £143-145m, they are not going to take a £103-105m or so loss, plus we are never going to pay Hazard's insane new salary) Brexit super fucks us with grabbing one potential superstar until 2023, Youssoufa Moukoko (too young and tbf, more of a striker than a winger atm), which could be good or bad (good if he ends up a bust, which is very unlikely, but bad if he is purchased before summer 2023 and he then turns into an Mbappe level talent who thus would cost £125-200m) only wingers I rate at a starting Chels level who are WC or on the way to WC (as Pulisic IS, IF he stays healthy) are (money for this list means nothing, age does, thus no Salah, Mane, Neymar, Son, etc, all of whom turn 30 by the late spring/early summer after next season, or before) its a slim list, and most are not available, the ones in bold are, and even some of them are very iffy as to coming here (the first two who are potentially are insanely expensive, and Zaha is on the cusp of being too old, and Veron may be too young an not enough Brexit points perhaps, which leaves only two, ffs) Kylian Mbappé Jadon Sancho Raheem Sterling Marcus Rashford Serge Gnabry Ansu Fati Bernardo Silva Leroy Sané Mikel Oyarzabal Mason Greenwood Lucas Ocampos Wilfried Zaha (this is the last summer I would remotely say buy, as age kicks in by 2022, tbh, it would actual be better to buy him in January, due to age, but Palace will not sell him the except for some insane price. so his ship has almost completely sailed, he was a fool for signing that contract extension, but Palace is doing well and he seems happy, so good on him, he just will likely never be a superstar at a big club now) Federico Chiesa Dejan Kulusevski Ferran Torres Diogo Jota Kingsley Coman (injury-prone though, but WC talent) Gabriel Martinelli Gabriel Veron (only one to make both lists, he made this on pure potential, as he is potentially the next great Brasilian winger (if Vinicius Jr and Rodrygo do not push on), tbh, I do not know if he is Brexit eligible now, as he is only 18 and has no big league experience, so probably not, grrrr) The 20th, if I were to add him (strictly on pure talent), would also be on both lists, Ousmane Dembélé, but he is very injury prone , so mentally unpredictable, and a huge dice roll

If we are not going to drop huge money on a José Giménez or Marquinhos or de Ligt type, then Walukiewicz is the exact type of younger CB I would love to grab to replace Rudiger immediately and hopefully Thiago in 2 years or so (if Seb works out). A similar CB would be Perr Schuurs of Ajax, whom the bindippers are drooling over. Another would be Ozan Kabak of the collapsing Schalke and another Pool target, then Mohamed Simakan of Strasbourg (20yo, 1.87m, can play RB as well), and finally 2 who are a year or so older, the 21yo's Edmond Tapsoba of Leverkusen, and Evan N'Dicka of Frankfurt.

lol Arse go down they are in real relegation troubles if Fulham keep improving 3 way relegation battle for the non Sheffield united (who are toast) 2 places arse burnley west brom

its always our luck to get a club with the interim manager bounce

2020-21 English Premier League Arsenal Burnley http://www.sportnews.to/sports/2020/premier-league-arsenal-vs-burnley-s1/ https://www.totalsportek.com/arsenal-streams/

I hate the geordies such a thug side like Burnley lite

its so fucked clear as fuck pen against the scousers nope dodgy as hell pen FOR the dippers, given

1 1 HORRID call wtf can they do with their arms, they were tucked in this is criminal

FUCKING DODGY PEN GIFT