Unionjack

Not sure if its cause of their top scorer once was with us but it sounds at times they were our supporters here! You can see just what it means to these lads to play against us. I doubt it brought a recognition in our dressing room.

How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two..... but I have no idea how they got in there. A drunk walks up to a barkeeper one day and says, "If I show you a trick will you give me a free drink?" The Barkeep says "Depends on how good of a trick it is." The Drunk reaches into his pocket and pulls out a frog and places him behind the piano. The frog starts to play the sweetest jazz riff the barkeeper has ever heard. He pours the drunk his drink. The drunk, after killing his drink says, "If I show you another trick can I have another free one?" The barkeep says "If it is anything like that last one, you can drink free all night." The drunk reaches into his other pocket, pulls out a rat, sets it on top of the piano, and the rat starts scatting along with the frog. Impressed, the barkeeper starts to pour drinks as fast as the drunk can drink 'em. After several hours, a big time Hollywood agent walks in, sees the act and frantically asks the barkeeper who it belongs to. The barkeeper points to the drunk who is passed out on the floor. The agent wakes him up and says, "I will give you 1 Million dollars for that act." The drunks says "not for sale". The agent says, "Ok, 100 grand for just the scatting rat." The drunk say, "deal" The agent writes the check and leaves with the rat. The barkeeper looks at the drunk and says, "Are you nuts? You had a Million dollar act that you just broke up for a whimpy 100 g's?" The Drunk says, "Relax, the frog is a ventriloquist"

But what do Chelsea need to know about Slavia Prague? Key player Miroslav Stoch: Slavia Prague’s top-scorer this season with 13 goals, Stoch used to play for Chelsea from 2006 to 2010. He only made four appearances before joining Fenerbache, where he was until 2017. The Slovakian international, who has played 57 times for his country, won the FIFA Puskas Award in 2012 for best goal and will be a threat up front alongside Milan Skoda for the Czech side. Europa League record Slavia Prague last reached this stage of the competition in 2000, where they lost to fellow quarter-finalists Villarreal. The club’s best European performance was reaching the semi-finals of the UEFA Cup in 1996, where they lost to Bordeaux, and last season they were knocked out of the Europa League in the group stages. They stunned Sevilla in the last-16, winning 6-5 on aggregate, after drama in extra-time. Domestic form Slavia Prague are top of the Czech First Division, and are six points clear of second placed Viktoria Plzen, having won all but four of their 24 games. They’re also in the quarter-finals of the Czech Cup, playing MFK Karvina on April 2.

Yahoooya Couldn't be much better

As a bit of a gambler I'd lay odds of us getting Npoli or the north London cunts

Spuds V Shitty Barca v Manure Victimpool v Porto

Very good game last night for the Europa League top scorer. Had the 'perfect' hat trick. Left foot right foot and header. The 1st 'Perfect' hat trick since Drogs did one against Wigan in May 2010, May have been his France call up that sparked it. Lets hope he can do that in the PL one day for us.

You just know it's sods law that we will play 1 or both of these! Thought it was a proper thumping! And tho Alonso still had a problem getting a lot of his crosses past the 1st defender that assist he put thru was great! And their keeper got his fingers to save his free kick or that woulda been a cracker. Was maybe his best game for ages. It would maybe have ended differently if Kiev had put their few chances in. Tho their 2 goals were clearly offside I did think Kepa might have done better to stop them. Very good seeing RLC back on the job. Whether its too many injuries or cant keep form he played really well. 3 Academy lads last night all did. A real shame Ampadu couldn't have come on for Rudi. Thought Rudi was solid enough but did give away a couple in the 2nd half. Why did Jorgi come on as a sub? Sarri still makes some weird subs lol All our forward play down the right went thru either the WBM or CHO. Zappa didn't do much I thought. WBM took it foeward well tho I thought. But I think that even with the poor opponents that we do have some good teamwork. And that CHO and RLC will HOPEFULLY start more often. They are young,strong,technical and the sort of players we need to be looking at.

Not only will it set a precedent but will also make a complete sham about selling Cescy. But I can see it happening mate. With the ban as the excuse.

LOL You really vcan't blame the kid for being pissed off with the club! We really do need to determine just what we want the mane purpose of the academy to be. Is it to benefit the yoof? The 1st team? Or is its purpose to generate income for the club? I think we should make it a priority as a feeder to the 1st team. But something drastic needs to change. For a start the lads need to start bulking up. A few of them look like stick insects! Mount one of them. Exactly the same size as Jorgi and will have the same problem, If they are not ready for the 1st team give them somewhere they can do a 2 year loan/ If they still dont make the grade sell them straight away. No more 5/6 loans thats just daft. How could they ever be motivated being passed around that much. They must be so hard to motivate,

I hope my Wee Baldy Man turns round to ZZ and flips him the bird! I know he always says how much he likes it here but it will be difficult to replace him. I think we should kidnap him. I've got room in my record box to put him in. I've missed having a pet since I lost my dog. Give his head a rub now and then. I can't see it being any problem. Might have to come up with some excuse to give my new flat mate tho! Hmmmm!

Why did he have a bad game? I really don't know enough about him. He looks like a big lad in his photos but hes a short arse. 5'9" and 82kg. Is he fast?

Wonder who/when/if someone will ever be a captain that comes anywhere near JT? We keep saying that the club will carry on OK if player 'X' leaves. Yeah OK we will but we have lost 3 players that we have got nowhere near even trying to replace (Unless its Diego for Drogs then we haven't replaced Diego lol) And JT / Lamps. We talk about 'the old guard' so much because nobody has come in to take over from them. And its what we STILL need. A ST a ACM and a CB - And the others that need upgrading or replacing for various reasons! Never mind we can do it all in the summer! OH SHIT!!!.................... Its going to be so much fun on here next year! All those that dont post anymore because of the moaning wont be back any time soon lol It's going to be a whine fest!

They can play pat a cake in the shower together!

Spurs given transfer boost as Real Madrid star's relationship with Zidane 'almost non-existent' It looks set to be a busy summer at Real Madrid following Zinedine Zidane's appointment as manager https://www.football.london/tottenham-hotspur-fc/transfer-news/kovacic-spurs-transfer-latest-zidane-15963399

Probably cause they know they fucjed up for the 2nd time and don't really have a leg to stand on. And maybe its just general apathy? You would hope that we would go down fighting tho.

We all have to remember what we were saying in pre season. Not many thought we would be in this sort of position now. We might nor be firing on all cylinders but we are still fighting on 3 fronts. Just need to get the lads to remember this and go out on the pitch angry.. Sod all the hugging in the tunnel. Pat each others bums in the showers.

HAS to be vintage Mrs! Dunno if anyone gets Chels collectables off Evilbay nut I get a shirt now n then or some odd item. But theres times that good stuff does pop up. Beautiful Game Official Chelsea FC Stamford Bridge FULL WALL MURAL Wall Sticker £99 https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Beautiful-Game-Official-Chelsea-FC-Stamford-Bridge-FULL-WALL-MURAL-Wall-Sticker/202493870130?hash=item2f25934032:m:mjh2s_57ZVIPxudcCyGvGTw CHELSEA FC stadium dug out seat can be used as reclining office gamer chair £350 https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/CHELSEA-FC-stadium-dug-out-seat-can-be-used-as-reclining-office-gamer-chair/153333792963?hash=item23b36800c3:g:q28AAOSwmFxcNdsn UNIQUE ORIGINAL CHELSEA FC SUN NEWSPAPER METAL PRINTING PLATE PREM LEAGUE CHAMPS 2014/15 £3.5k Buy Now https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/UNIQUE-ORIGINAL-CHELSEA-FC-SUN-NEWSPAPER-METAL-PRINTING-PLATE-PREM-LEAGUE-CHAMPS/283412070335?hash=item41fcacffbf:g:3rQAAOSwy6hce7M3&frcectupt=true

OI!!! I still wear them!!! Might not be as baggy tho!! I once had a pair made - '74. 36" at the knee,, 36" at the heel 3 pleats each side. Front ticket pocket and a flap on front,side,back ones. Wear them with a foot length wine red patchwork leather. Used to look like a long queue of speed vampires outside the Niters! Flapping away on the dancefloor! Problem is that SOME still dress like it. Sad gits. Look like all them old Teds that goto the R 'n R weekend dos. Looks like Broadmoor let them out for fancy dress night. Bless em! Never was one for them shirts. But did have a badge or 2 and some calling cards.

You would have thought he would be doing every little thing he could to prove to everyone just how good he was and try to make Sarri look wrong for not picking him. But Its that old catch 22. He wont be trusted and get playing time till he gets better and he won't get better till he gets playing time. I do hope he stays, and yes I do think he should be getting regular 10/20 mins and just how I liked how Mou kept training Happy on site and not send him off. Getting used to training,playing with the 1st team. Some time here and there. Losing his nerves. It was such a shame he got such a bad injury. Who knows what he would be like now. Thats just how CHO should be trained. But CHO SEEMS like a diff character. I don't see him staying.He wants it now. But you can imagine his fam/agent/hangers on all blowing smoke up his arse telling them hes amazing and better than sliced bread! Peeps saying "We don't deserve the top 4" DESERVE ffs??? IF we make the top 4 after these last 2 seasons we more than deserve it!. Any ANYTHING can still happen THIS season! I would be laughing all season. We will have the worse set of players I can remember for many years. With Eden,CHO,Kovacic, MAYBE Kante going, Who knows about Luiz yet? We will be a squad bade up of 3 managers players and only 1 choice from our current one. The rest will be a stew pot of loanees, deadwood and 30+'s. But we never know. This stew pot might just have the spirit and fight that this lot don't seem to have - or if they do have it they dont keep it for long. I know if it's a team of misfits they will be wanting to show they could do it. (Well I hope they will think like that lol) We played for 3 games like we wanted to put things right. They should have started this like our season depended on it. We pressed for a bit but never with full commitment. Was like we was in 2md gear. And Sarri was dead right about not moving into spaces off the ball. Just keep an eye on that and watch. None of the forwards do it much.

Did go when a mate took us on his boat when we were in Teneriffe. Think we stayed 3 hours lol Mate we all get thru this thing called life in any way we can. I've never had any dependents, I drive a old car from '73, scooter from '68, all me furnitures 2nd hand. I've done a bit of traveling, got a shit hot record collection and had a good crack. With ZZ def taking Eden and who knows - maybe the Wee Baldy Man too. This here ban is really going to make us walk bandy legged! We will be a patchwork quilt made from our loan army and 30+'s. Can you just imagine us in the CL I really would want that to happen! It would be hilarious! Wouldn't miss it for the world lol

Basically saying don't be a cunt and fuck off when the going gets rough! Stay and fight.

Cunt Zidane!! Coming for the Wee Baldy Man too. Shitbag! Chelsea hero Didier Drogba asks four-word question to Eden Hazard as Real Madrid plot raid DIDIER DROGBA has told Eden Hazard that he can stay at Chelsea and realise his dreams with the club. “Why should he leave? I think he can have this here in Chelsea. "I had many opportunities to leave and I decided to stay to make my own story and win the Champions League here. I think he's got a chance to make his own story. https://www.express.co.uk/sport/football/1099064/Chelsea-Didier-Drogba-Eden-Hazard-Real-Madrid-Transfer-Premier-League-Zinedine-Zidane

I've beem loadsa times mate. Used to go straight from Goa to there and have 3 months working as entertainments manager for Fantasy Island (big bar down south) Just organizing pissups, bringing in crazy punters, hiring peeps to fly post and dish out flyers etc. But with my own little thing on the side with the Africans. Still mates with one of them. The Headhunters would make him a member in a second lol. Had my bum burned in Maspalomas enough times lol. Got stoned in them the 1st time I was there and crashed out wearing a string vest and nowt else haha Looked like a red chess board! Who knows. Just MAYBE Tammy and Bats might just be pissed off enough at the club to let it all out on the pitch and work out great! Then again ................

No spirit, no fight. no passion, no bollox!