The Pub - Discuss Anything

[Rmpr 8,977]

I know what you're saying, but the problems you mentioned aren't really problems. Yes, the name friend is misused in Facebook, I like how Twatter and Google+ named them more appropriately followers, which is much more true. In reality noone considers their friends on facebook real friends, at least I hope so, because it's obvious it's just to follow people. Just a bad bit of naming by facebook, but it's been like that since 2004 or 05 so they're not gonna change it.

Tagging problem? - Forbid others to tag you.

Hashtags or copying twitter posts to facebook? - It's possible to sync twitter and facebook as I've heard, so you see what they wrote in twitter, which uses hashtags. If they didn't post it through twitter, then they're just idiots. Everyone who uses those silly tags without an actual purpose is an idiot, period. You can remove them as "friends", it will improve your quality of life.

Too many pointless friends you don't know or don't care about? - Why accept their invitations? If somebody you don't know tries to add you, you can reject it you know. If they want to contact you, they can send you a message first.

People posting shit? - Add them to ignore list or unfriend them.

At one point I decided to unfriend all the people who I don't talk to or don't care about. I had about 100 of them, now I've got some 30+. It's much more silent now. In fact the only reason why I still haven't deleted my account is because it may become necessary to contact some people, there is always this possibility. And of course it's also good to use it as newsfeed for the things you like. You don't really need "friends" there at all, all you need are the people you want to follow, keep in touch with and properly selected "likes" so you get newsfeed you're interested in.

Relax mate, I was just letting it all out, I was not saying I couldnt fix it.

I was a bit busy today, so I didnt have time, but I will totally do what you said (which I already knew). The only problem I have is my empathy. So when I go to unfriend random people from Univeristy or whatever, my concious keep telling me to leave them there, lmao.

Also, why cant the people on facebook be your friends? Most of the people you will add there will already be your friends anyways, imo. And the rest you can very well build a good realtionship, even over the interent. I am not saying you will be best buddies or that you will share secrets, but that doesnt mean you cant have some very good talks.

In the end, I really only care about 200-300 people, the rest are there for no reason. Most of it, only a set of 10 people or so are the ones who bother me, so I will just get rid of them. I really like facebook for that fact I can keep in touch with my American friends, mates that went far away to study and people from TC. The rest I see no point, because the friends I have in Sao Paulo, I see them frequently and we talk through WhatsApp and tha tkind of stuff!

[Spike 12,049]

People are sincerely blaming North Korea for the Boston bombings. Then my IQ dropped 15 points.

[manpe 10,861]

Currently in a bus driving to a job interview, unbelievably nervous wish me luck.

[SinineUltra 1,170]

It was kind of tricky deciding whether to post this or not, but oh well.

I'm not trying to cause trouble, but genuinely trying to figure out more about who I am. SO. To the point -

Is there a 'term' (no, not "heartless" or anything like that) for people, like myself, who are unmoved and feel nothing when things such as this Boston 'explosions' happen? I consider myself quite well educated and generally nice with people I know, but if, for example, news was to come out that 2 thousand people had just died in this country in the most gruesome way possible, I'd barely reflect on it, if at all, and probably never think of it again.

From what I understand, it's 'normal' to grieve even for those you don't know or didn't like, but from my experiences (even with family members) I just don't seem affected. Of course that'll change the moment someone like my mum passes, but excluding that - is this considered odd? Is there a term for it?

I've been toying with the idea that I may be Schizotypal recently so perhaps that plays a part if i do indeed have that.

One thing is what you think you feel, other is how your brain reacts to it. If you are shown some gruesome picture and there is no change in your brain scan, then you are more likely a person with a mental disorder. Most serial killers had this one in common. Though I think you're just young and maybe reading too much into this/exaggerating, still learning about yourself and your limits.

[MetsajCFC 1,255]

^^

Besides that, everything is going really well!

For me Facebook helps me learn the names of people I meet, otherwise I'll always hesitate when talking to them, not to offend them with wrong name But I agree in a sense that people share too much stuff on the site, it's the fucking Internet, it's not going to be private just because you ticked a box or two in the privacy settings. Also for some people, having thousand "friends" on there is some kind of an achievement for them, like a show of status. If they find it necessary, fine by me. And if people keep mass-adding you, take it as a compliment, they've obviously found you interesting...

[manpe 10,861]

Currently in a bus driving to a job interview, unbelievably nervous wish me luck.

People, I need help, I don't know what to do. The interview went fine imo, one of the interviewers who escorted me out later said I did very well. But the thing is I don't know if I can do it, one thing is to talk to a few people for half an hour, the other is to actually start working every day around strangers. They said that even though it's not a specialist job, it involves quite a lot of responsibility and I would need to learn quite a few things. This freaks me out. I feel like a social phobic because I'm so awkward and nervous around people it's paralizing. I want to be this importunate guy who goes around, asks questions, is social and all that. But I'm afraid my fears will stop me from learning this job properly, I will feel paralized whole day to the point where I want to just escape and run away without looking back. People will look at me like some incompetent weirdo who has no place there. They also hinted that this job would involve some communicating, I was hoping it would be a routine typing behind a computer.

I want to be like those guys in Office Space, if you've seen this movie. Where you have friends and you're already settled in and joke around. Instead I would be the new guy who doesn't know shit and has to be babysitted all the time. As I left I was already contemplating how to reject their offer if they did offer it. It's not a healthy way of thinking, but I can't change it. I'm just not a positive person by nature. My fear of failure far surpasses my anticipation of success. My mindset is that I can't be a success in anything, I don't know why. I will always see myself as the odd man out, the one who doesn't belong. I have trouble feeling connection to other people, I always see it as they all live in the real world with all the other normal people, while I'm stuck in mine which is far from being real and that I'm just a badly programmed program full of bugs and forever in beta status (like Orkut )

What to do?

[Hutcho 8,443]

^^^

Firstly breath... Your not the first person to be nervous about a new job. Most people are. You might like the job, the people are probably very nice and they know your new so they can teach you the things you need to know. If your not sure you can ask someone else. Stop panicking about a job you haven't received yet. I know it's hard to do, because to some extent I am similar, and sometimes you just have to go with the flow. Definitely don't turn them down if they offer you the job.

[manpe 10,861]

^^^

Firstly breath... Your not the first person to be nervous about a new job. Most people are. You might like the job, the people are probably very nice and they know your new so they can teach you the things you need to know. If your not sure you can ask someone else. Stop panicking about a job you haven't received yet. I know it's hard to do, because to some extent I am similar, and sometimes you just have to go with the flow. Definitely don't turn them down if they offer you the job.

It all sounds so logical and reasonable, but it's so hard to live by those words.

[Hutcho 8,443]

It all sounds so logical and reasonable, but it's so hard to live by those words.

Yep, it is, and tbh it's not like I am living by those words either, but i am trying to more. It's not easy at all. It's the same as someone saying for example, just go ask that girl out... In theory it doesn't seem hard, but for some it is incredibly hard.

Just try and think, that there are worse things that can happen, and are happening elsewhere, and try and put it into perspective...

[CHOULO19 24,332]

People, I need help, I don't know what to do. The interview went fine imo, one of the interviewers who escorted me out later said I did very well. But the thing is I don't know if I can do it, one thing is to talk to a few people for half an hour, the other is to actually start working every day around strangers. They said that even though it's not a specialist job, it involves quite a lot of responsibility and I would need to learn quite a few things. This freaks me out. I feel like a social phobic because I'm so awkward and nervous around people it's paralizing. I want to be this importunate guy who goes around, asks questions, is social and all that. But I'm afraid my fears will stop me from learning this job properly, I will feel paralized whole day to the point where I want to just escape and run away without looking back. People will look at me like some incompetent weirdo who has no place there. They also hinted that this job would involve some communicating, I was hoping it would be a routine typing behind a computer.

I want to be like those guys in Office Space, if you've seen this movie. Where you have friends and you're already settled in and joke around. Instead I would be the new guy who doesn't know shit and has to be babysitted all the time. As I left I was already contemplating how to reject their offer if they did offer it. It's not a healthy way of thinking, but I can't change it. I'm just not a positive person by nature. My fear of failure far surpasses my anticipation of success. My mindset is that I can't be a success in anything, I don't know why. I will always see myself as the odd man out, the one who doesn't belong. I have trouble feeling connection to other people, I always see it as they all live in the real world with all the other normal people, while I'm stuck in mine which is far from being real and that I'm just a badly programmed program full of bugs and forever in beta status (like Orkut )

What to do?

Alright, take a breath. Just look at it this way, there are about a billion other people with a lower IQ than you who go to jobs and do well every day. So why shouldn't you? Change is scary, but soon this change will be the new routine and you'll be scared to stop working there

[Rmpr 8,977]

People, I need help, I don't know what to do. The interview went fine imo, one of the interviewers who escorted me out later said I did very well. But the thing is I don't know if I can do it, one thing is to talk to a few people for half an hour, the other is to actually start working every day around strangers. They said that even though it's not a specialist job, it involves quite a lot of responsibility and I would need to learn quite a few things. This freaks me out. I feel like a social phobic because I'm so awkward and nervous around people it's paralizing. I want to be this importunate guy who goes around, asks questions, is social and all that. But I'm afraid my fears will stop me from learning this job properly, I will feel paralized whole day to the point where I want to just escape and run away without looking back. People will look at me like some incompetent weirdo who has no place there. They also hinted that this job would involve some communicating, I was hoping it would be a routine typing behind a computer.

I want to be like those guys in Office Space, if you've seen this movie. Where you have friends and you're already settled in and joke around. Instead I would be the new guy who doesn't know shit and has to be babysitted all the time. As I left I was already contemplating how to reject their offer if they did offer it. It's not a healthy way of thinking, but I can't change it. I'm just not a positive person by nature. My fear of failure far surpasses my anticipation of success. My mindset is that I can't be a success in anything, I don't know why. I will always see myself as the odd man out, the one who doesn't belong. I have trouble feeling connection to other people, I always see it as they all live in the real world with all the other normal people, while I'm stuck in mine which is far from being real and that I'm just a badly programmed program full of bugs and forever in beta status (like Orkut )

What to do?

Ok, you first need to relax and stop panicking.

Then you need to better learn what you are going to do at whatever job that is. A lot of companies put many unnecessary things in the job advert. I have seen IT offers saying you have to be able to communicate, lol.

Above all, you will have to be the new guy someday, there is no scape. It will be bad for a while, but that is temporarily. You will get used to it and have a nice routine, with some work colleagues where you can go out drinking, etc. Maybe you even find a hot chick along the way. However, if you dont want all of that, you dont have to, this is a job and there is no obligation to socialize.

Just think if this is a thing you will enjoy or at least support doing for 44hours/week. If it is and you want to get out of this vicious cycle you complain about, then accept the offer. See how it goes, give it a couple of weeks and then quit in the worst case scenario. Please, do not give up without trying!

[DJames 729]

People, I need help, I don't know what to do. The interview went fine imo, one of the interviewers who escorted me out later said I did very well. But the thing is I don't know if I can do it, one thing is to talk to a few people for half an hour, the other is to actually start working every day around strangers. They said that even though it's not a specialist job, it involves quite a lot of responsibility and I would need to learn quite a few things. This freaks me out. I feel like a social phobic because I'm so awkward and nervous around people it's paralizing. I want to be this importunate guy who goes around, asks questions, is social and all that. But I'm afraid my fears will stop me from learning this job properly, I will feel paralized whole day to the point where I want to just escape and run away without looking back. People will look at me like some incompetent weirdo who has no place there. They also hinted that this job would involve some communicating, I was hoping it would be a routine typing behind a computer.

I want to be like those guys in Office Space, if you've seen this movie. Where you have friends and you're already settled in and joke around. Instead I would be the new guy who doesn't know shit and has to be babysitted all the time. As I left I was already contemplating how to reject their offer if they did offer it. It's not a healthy way of thinking, but I can't change it. I'm just not a positive person by nature. My fear of failure far surpasses my anticipation of success. My mindset is that I can't be a success in anything, I don't know why. I will always see myself as the odd man out, the one who doesn't belong. I have trouble feeling connection to other people, I always see it as they all live in the real world with all the other normal people, while I'm stuck in mine which is far from being real and that I'm just a badly programmed program full of bugs and forever in beta status (like Orkut )

What to do?

Sometimes to become the person we want to be we need to put ourselves in situations that we may not be comfortable in. You want to be that guy this job may be one of the first steps to get you there. Don't try to talk yourself out of it, if you do get the job try it out for a couple months and see what kinds of opportunities you may benefit from.

[NishC300 1,865]

YOU ARE FUCKING FOURTEEN. KIDS LIKE YOU ARE CANCER TO SWAGGY GENERATION. NIGGA GET YOUR SHIT STRAIGHT ARIGHT OR I WOULD FUCKING MAKE YOU LISTEN EVERY HEARTMELTING SONG OF BIEBER.

....... aren't these swaggy ppl usually in my age group since my classmates r a bit like that.

[MetsajCFC 1,255]

Sometimes to become the person we want to be we need to put ourselves in situations that we may not be comfortable in. You want to be that guy this job may be one of the first steps to get you there. Don't try to talk yourself out of it, if you do get the job try it out for a couple months and see what kinds of opportunities you may benefit from.

Amen to this. Very well written. Comfort zone is your worst enemy.

[BluesChick 1,260]

Guys there is nothing wrong with not crying or public ally showing your grief. Grief is an intensely private process and do not let others tell you that you should be crying or angry. My only advice about grief is that you talk about those you lost, it helps you heal and remember them. Most people feel awkward asking you about someone you have lost, I still have people offering me sympathy and apologies over 10 years after I lost 2 sisters and a niece in a car accident. They are shocked that I do not mind talking about what happened.

@Leif (I hope I remember that right) you are not an overly sympathetic person to strangers meaning you do not feel their pain as if it were your own. You are probably more empathetic where you look at what is happen and understand but it does not induce a state of grief in you. (If I remember my Psych 101 terms right). It does not mean you are an uncaring or not a compassionate person but rather the relationship needs to be a stronger or closer one to induce sympathy. Does that make sense?

@Manpe

You can do anything you put your mind to!!! I know it!! Everyone has the fear of failure, but failure is not when you try and do not succeed (or struggle), failure is not trying in the first place. Give it a try, you may find that you are good at it. I hate public speaking and thought I would be an awful teacher but I love it and I am good at it! No one was more surprised than I was!!

Go for it you will regret it more if you never try.

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