New John Terry Sex Scandal

[Fulham Broadway 16,417]

JOHN TERRY HAD SEX WITH AN OCTOPUS

JOHN Terry's future as England captain was on a knife-edge last night after it emerged he had sex with a 12-foot octopus.

Terry broke at least two of its three hearts

According to friends of the millionaire footballer the sex happened when Terry and two of his Chelsea team-mates took part in an all-day drinking session at the Sea Life Centre in Great Yarmouth.

One source said: "By two in the afternoon John was getting aggressive and saying he wanted to fight an electric eel, but then he changed his mind and decided to beat up some little children instead.

"The other lads picked out this little seven year-old and were holding its arms, when John suddenly spotted the octopus and got that familiar look in his eye.

"He bought two glasses of Cristal, poured one into the tank and then pressed his face up against the glass, shouting 'you probably recognise me'.

"Then he jumped into the tank, took its leg-arm thing and led it into the corner behind the plastic coral reef where he had sex with it twice. I don't even know if it's a male or a female and, I suspect, neither does he."

One expert football journalist added: "Should he resign? I'm not sure. On the one hand he is quite good at shouting while he's playing football, but on the other hand he may have had gay sex with a drunken octopus."

Meanwhile a survey of English boys aged between six and 14 has revealed that more than 80% now want to cheat on their wives with the long-term octopus of a close friend or team-mate, but only if they can then pay for it to have an abortion.

A spokesman for the Professional Sportsman's Association said: "John needs to consider his position very carefully because it is hugely important who captains the England football team."

The England and Chelsea skipper refused to deny the fling with the eight-legged sea creature amid claims he also paid for it to abort their ink-filled, mutant love baby.

[oxfordblues 299]

i`ve been to that sea world centre.:champions::champions:v.good

[Kez 2,727]

hahaha

[chrismada9 1,948]

OMG HAHAHA!! CLASS

Sorry John but I laughed at this, well written FB!

[Badboy 1,526]

[Fulham Broadway 16,417]

OMG HAHAHA!! CLASS

Sorry John but I laughed at this, well written FB!

Alright CJ -wasnt having a go at JT, more the ridiculous media coverage and the News of the World scum who would quite happily undermine the England team.

I would quite happily bet that there are only a handful of Prem footballers that arent sticking their knobs in models on a weekly basis -it comes with the territory.

As for Man City wearing those T shirts (only 3 of them by the way) Steven Ireland who lied about his gran dying to avoid playing for his country and Tevez who probably didnt know what the fuck it was all about anyway.

It would serve those media hacks and all the moralists who are casting judgement justice if Terry said ''fuck it I'm not playing for England anymore''.

[oxfordblues 299]

[Laylabelle 9,304]

Hahahaha gotta say looking forward to what 'story' they come out with next.Wouldnt surprise if was something crazy like that lol..would get people reading anyway

Can you imagin if he did quit..'Jt quits due to guilt or some shit' no actully he quitetd to shut you up!!

Team Bridge those tee shirts made me laugh....just wtf lol!

[Gianfranco_Z 202]

Everytime I read this, I laugh "you probably recognise me"

Massive win.

I love FB