Changingman_2000 876 Posted November 3, 2015 Share Posted November 3, 2015 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Changingman_2000 876 Posted November 3, 2015 Share Posted November 3, 2015 I was in Liverpool yesterday when I thought i had seen a superhero as a man ran down the street with a cape. Turned out that it was just another scouser who had not paid for his haircut. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lapo Blues 21 Posted November 11, 2015 Share Posted November 11, 2015 What is the difference between an Arsenal fan and a vibrator?Arsenal fan is a real dick. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lapo Blues 21 Posted November 11, 2015 Share Posted November 11, 2015 An Arsenal fan and a Man United fan were watching the news on TV. There was a film story about a girl on the ledge of a building threatening to commit suicide. The police were trying to talk her down when the Man United fan says to the Arsenal fan, "I'll bet you five Pounds that she jumps."The Arsenal fan took the bet. Seconds later, the girl jumps. The Arsenal fan takes five Pounds from his pocket and hands it to the Man United fan.The Man United says, "I can't take your money. I saw the same film clip on the 6:00 news today and knew she was going to jump."The Arsenal fan says, "I watched it too, but I didn't think she do it a second time." Muzchap 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lapo Blues 21 Posted November 11, 2015 Share Posted November 11, 2015 A dick has a sad life.His hair is a mess;his family is nuts;his next-door neighbor is an asshole;his best friend is a pussy, and his owner beats him habitually.When I thought about it, wenger is a real dick of all and that joke kinda suits him perfectly.A dick (wenger) has a sad life.His hair is a mess;his family is nuts (wife divorced him);his next-door neighbor (spuds fan) is an asshole;his best friend (gazidis) is a pussy, and his owner (kroenke) beats him habitually. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vincent 403 Posted November 12, 2015 Share Posted November 12, 2015 Mom: Son, why dont you talk to Mark anymore? You used to be best friends.Son: Well would you talk to someone who is stupid, uses drugs and is an alchocolic? Mom: Of course not. Son: Well neither would he. Fulham Broadway 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vincent 403 Posted November 17, 2015 Share Posted November 17, 2015 My wife told me to take a spider out instead of killing it.We went and had drinks. Cool guy, wants to be a web designer. Muzchap 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lapo Blues 21 Posted December 8, 2015 Share Posted December 8, 2015 For those of you (unlike me) who have daughters of a certain age, the following is informative:— One day a father, on his way home from work suddenly remembers that it’s his daughter’s birthday.He stops at a toy store and goes in and asks the sales person, ‘How much for one of those Barbie’s in the display window?’The salesperson answers, ‘Which one do you mean, Sir?We have: Work Out Barbie for £19.95, Shopping Barbie for £19.95, Beach Barbie for £19.95, Disco Barbie for £19.95, Astronaut Barbie for £19.95, Skater Barbie for £19.95, and Divorced Barbie for £265.95’.The amazed father asks: ‘It’s what? Why is the Divorced Barbie £265.95 and the others only £19.95?’The slightly miffed salesgirl rolls her eyes, sighs, and answers:‘Look, Sir…, Divorced Barbie comes with: Ken’s Truck, Ken’s House, Ken’s Fishing Boat, Ken’s Furniture, Ken’s Dog, Ken’s Computer, one of Ken’s Friends, and a key chain made from Ken’s testicles.’Hmmmm….. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lapo Blues 21 Posted December 8, 2015 Share Posted December 8, 2015 He was in ecstasy with a huge smile on his face as his wife moved forward, then backwards, forward, then backwards again……back and forth…back and forth…..in and out…….She could feel the sweat on her forehead, between her breasts and trickling down the small of her back.She was getting near to the end. Her heart was pounding…..her face was flushed….. Then she moaned, softly at first, then began to groan louder.Finally, totally exhausted, she let out an almighty scream and shouted,“Okay, Okay!!! I can’t park the fooking car!!! You do it, you smug bastard!!!” Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lapo Blues 21 Posted December 8, 2015 Share Posted December 8, 2015 A Man.U fan and a Manchester City fan were sentenced to death by firing squad.The officer in charge asked the Manchester City fan if he had a last request. 'Yes' replied the City Fan, 'I'm a keen City Supporter, and I videoed the last game Manchester City played. Could I watch the video before I die?' 'No Problem', replied the officer, 'I'll get the men to rig up a large screen, and you can watch it from here'.Then turning to the Man U. Fan, he asked 'And what about you, do you have a last request?''Yes', he replied, 'Shoot me first'. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lapo Blues 21 Posted December 8, 2015 Share Posted December 8, 2015 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lapo Blues 21 Posted December 8, 2015 Share Posted December 8, 2015 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lapo Blues 21 Posted December 8, 2015 Share Posted December 8, 2015 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lapo Blues 21 Posted December 8, 2015 Share Posted December 8, 2015 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lapo Blues 21 Posted December 8, 2015 Share Posted December 8, 2015 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lapo Blues 21 Posted December 8, 2015 Share Posted December 8, 2015 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lapo Blues 21 Posted December 8, 2015 Share Posted December 8, 2015 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vincent 403 Posted January 2, 2016 Share Posted January 2, 2016 A kid had sex with his teacher. So the kid just got of school and he got into the car with his mom. The mom asks, "What did you do at school today?" The kid replies, "I had sex with the teacher." The mom was furious so when they got home, she told him to go to his room and wait for his father to come home. Well the father came home from work a couple hours later and the mother told him what their son said. The dad walks up to his sons room and says, "Son, I'm proud of you. I'm going to buy you a new bike." Later that day they got the bike and the father asks, "Would you like to try it out?" The son replies, "Not now. My butt still hurts." kellzfresh and BlueLion. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlueLion. 21,491 Posted January 3, 2016 Share Posted January 3, 2016 Love the new skin and layout. Really well done @Jim Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Iggy Doonican 4,186 Posted May 4, 2016 Share Posted May 4, 2016 Why did Snoop Dogg need an umbrella?Fo’ Drizzle Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.