-Kaplan-

We have Eden Hazard. United have an £89m walking emoji.

No, but I'm sure he will soon. Everyone knows he'll stay.

Arsenal wins. Wenger announces his 2-year contract. Mourinho comes up with excuses. The usual.

That's what I mean though; he had his first chance at Juventus and was still a substitute during his best moments. So he hasn't played much. So why do so many people think he would kill it here?

I guess I haven't seen him do much, so I can't say he's far better. But apart from those goals in the Champions League, he hasn't set any league on fire. In his first season at Juve, he would come off the bench and score that's why I compared him to Giroud. Would he be able to play 90mins week in week out at a Premier League side? I have my doubts.

At the end of the day, a striker's job is to score. Whether it's tap-ins, 40 yard screamer, or dribbling through 8 players before scoring. I would take Harry Kane before Morata, Belotti, Lukaku, Lacazette. But, realistically, I would be happy with Lukaku because he's going to score goals. Just as long as we have somebody who can put the balls in the box, I trust him to finish them off. More so than Costa.

So we throw Diego under the bus because he was on a drought, but want to buy a striker that "doesn't score much."

Morata is a slightly more mobile version of Giroud. At this point, Lukaku seems like the one who would come here. The reason why people think Belotti would come here is because he's Italian. Mbappé no chance. Lukaku is top scorer at an average Everton side. People say "premier league-proven(bs phrase), then they don't want premier league-proven. If Conte wants him, I'll take him.

I'm not sure what to make of it. A bit shocked. I thought Christensen might actually have a chance. van Dijk is just the flavor of the month, in my opinion. Much like Mahrez was last season.

All Everton so far.

They lost to Liverpool at home.

Don't jinx it!

He has a better chance of displacing Alonso. I think Conte likes experienced and commanding leaders as CB. I'm not sure Ake is that.

Same people who thought RLC was the next Zidane and were begging for him to start. Now, I rate Ake just not enough to become a starting CB. At this moment.

Tottenham have been the better team. I wouldn't be arsed if they win. We look average. However, thay play ManU and Arsenal. We have Everton left. The most telling of our collapse will be the Palace game. Losing to them at home.

Matic and Costa are fucking abysmal

Costa taking a trillion touches before he passes the ball.

Getting fucking exposed

Ravel Morrison 2.0

Need another desperately. Our defense has delirium tremens; shaky as fuck.

Do we ever take shots from outside the box?

Costa would dribble all the way to fucking Scotland before he passes the ball.

Surprised he didn't go with willian at WRB.

He should be in prison.

Just kick the bastard ball Fabregas.