The only place to be

"Jose Mourinho's Chelsea team had a lot of character but it is a different time now. What a barstard. I mean he's right, but what a barstard. There is a problem with character in the team. Terry and Lamps are missing so that's a big hole to fill, but when you look at the other senior players there aren't any real leaders there. Cech is a great player and a smart man, but he isn't a screamer like Schmeichel and goalkeeper is a tough position to impose yourself from. Ashley is an exemplary professional, but he's somewhat immature. Cahill hasn't ever stepped up to a leadership role, Luiz is just way too immature in almost every regard, Ivanovic doesn't do too much talking, Mikel is Mikel (his lack of maturity and discipline is a problem in more than simply this regard) and Mata is a cerebral quiet guy. And as for Torres....petulant little child is perhaps the kindest description. Right now we have no unifying voice, not even from the manager apparently. There's no identity to this team, no-one to give you a kick up the arse when you fuck up. There's no big personalities in the team. With Terry coming back, I think this could be solved a fair amount but I think we need other ones alongside him. Dare I say Fellaini again for this role? He's doing a great job of carrying that Everton team at times. Against United HE was the one who said give me the ball. HE was the one who drove them forward and he doesn't seem to disappear when they need him. We could do with someone like that right now.

Utter bollocks. Of course the club wants people to support the club, but that doesn't mean they hate the fans. Let's not forget that the board (Buck in particular) stood by the fan's favourite player when he was accused of racism. Now from a purely PR perspective, they cold have easily gone a different way that would have probably been better for the club's image amongst 'soccer moms'. But they didn't. They even put him back in as Chelsea captain.

You need to post the second verse where he tells us who we should appoint instead.

I agree with your Dzeko point, but not the Fellaini one. I think he could offer a little more steel in the DM position, but I also think you're seriously underrating his passing ability. I actually think that we play Ramires alongside Mikel to cover up a lot of Mikel's failings - he has a tendency to fall asleep and can look rather lethargic at times. I think Fellaini would make a massive difference in that regard which might enable us to move Oscar back into a deeper role beside him. Oscar has a fantastic work ethic as well, so I don't think we'd lose anything. The fact that Fellani offers a goal threat going forward would be an added bonus in an emergency.

Because I look at what he has to offer, the qualities he has and the work ethic he has in most games and I make a decision based on that. He actually said recently that DM was his favoured position and I think he would offer us a few things Mikel (and Ramires) don't.

I don't know if it's bad to worse, but it certainly seems like we're flailing a little. This two team-talk thing seems utterly bizarre in all honesty. It's the complete opposite of what managers like Guardiola insist on when it comes to languages - how can you have a team spirit when you're doing shit like that. In all honesty it seems as though Roman knows what he wants to happen in the summer, but he doesn't know how to get us there whilst maintaining fourth spot. Could Grant really help? He's a confidante of Roman so there may be a little more insight into the club and the players. Fuck.

How does Courtois get chances though? He's already a Europa League winning keeper let's not forget. If there's no chance for him in the next 2-3 years, isn't there a danger we lose him?

I actually agree with most of those points, but the way I see it Cech could conceivably be a top keeper for 7 years. What do we do with Courtois in that case? Ask him to sign at least one more contract whilst we're either sticking on the bench or sending him out on loan every year? Eventually we're going to have to make a choice and if the choice is to sell Cech, then the sooner we sell him the more value he has.

So what do we do with Courtois? I sorta agree. I disagree with keeping Cech around though - too expensive and takes up a foreign spot.

We spent big because we had to. We looked to make savings because we had to, I'm not sure of the details of the Luiz 'massive' contract - how much more is he being paid? Personally I don't think it's ridiculous in the slightest. If you're increasing your expenditure then you have to make cuts where you can. Like I said, Chelsea is going to be run differently than it was in the past and that means cutting the existing costs as well as looking to use the academy better.

What's people's thoughts on what we do with Cech now that we have a 20 year old prospect in Courtois?

Part of me finds it funny that we were moaning about not having enough youth in our 'ageing squad' a couple of seasons back, and now we're saying we've got enough (which we don't). The truth is it isn't an either/or situation. We need to focus on both.

That's got to be the understatement of the century. 'May be selfish' Try unbelievably selfish to the detriment of the team. He's 23 with almost 150 professional games under his belt. This is who he is. He is the antithesis of the player we will be looking to include going forward. I think the board were essentially writing this season off. They basically looked for ways to reduce costs, which would explain the Meireles and Essien moves. Malouda is clearly being punished for not leaving. When you look at all the players being sent out on loan, I think the club is trying to put itself in a position for a run at trophies from next season. The club we were 8 years ago is not the club we're going to be next year in terms of personnel, their wages, their transfer fees and their ages. Chelsea FC is going to be a business in future.

Doesn't England have some of the best restaurants in the world? Or is this the famous German humour?

It's a tough choice. Bony is unproven and who know if the manager in six months will want him. Bent has a proven track record in this league and may well be available on a short-term move.

Unsurprisingly a job that pays around £2 million a year has high demands on it. The manager has to show potential whilst getting results. They also need a strong track record ideally. The only person who has shown that since Mourinho has been Ancelotti, and even that didn't work out in his second year. Guardiola would have the track record to get more time than someone like Robbie, but he would also need to show short-term success too. But no-one coming into this job thinks any differently.

You should email him the 'Best of German Comedy' DVD. I'm sure he's got a spare 3 minutes - he could watch it twice.

Ancelotti was never going to be the long-term answer after the downturn in performances in his second year (yes, it coincided with Wilkins leaving) and Roman never had any faith in Robbie. He tried with AVB but that was a disaster. Roman does want long-term stability, but he wants it with the right manager.

Given the choice between a short-term loan or a cut-price fee for Bent, or a £15 million punt on a player who plays fairly similarly to Lukaku, I think I'd go with Bent considering where our club is right now. It's a tough choice.

What I'm saying is that Bent has a proven track record without being overly expensive. We might even be able to get him on loan, so why not? He doesn't have to be the only one we bring in, so we could make a move for someone like Bony too. We've just got to get someone in for six months, rather than letting Benitez loose with the credit card when he's likely to be gone by summer.

So we can defend Torres because he doesn't get service, but Darren Bent doesn't get that same defence at Villa?? But yeah, let's go and buy someone unproven in our league for twice as much. What's the cheat code we have to enter at the title screen for unlimited funds? Anyone?

I would just point out that Barcelona work harder in defence than almost any other team in world football. It isn't just pretty football, but working your bollocks off to win the ball back when you lose it. The appeal of their style is that it's logical - you keep possession of the ball and let it do the work whilst knackering out the opposition and forcing them to make mistakes which creates space for your players. We actually have a few of the pieces you need in that style of football (the full-backs, the centre-backs, the skill players who can pass the ball) but we're missing a striker and a 'Busquets-type' midfielder. When you look at our youth teams, the likes of McEachran, Ake, Chalobah, Feruz etc. would all seem to be able to play in that formation too.

You might not like Wimbledon (I don't think any of us do although there's a certain affinity because of the likes of Bes, Wisey, Jones and even Neil Sullivan who's playing today), but their football fans were just like our football fans. They were hard-working, decent people who supported their team and they had it taken from them. Honestly, I'm surprised I had to write something like this on here.

I'm going to throw a name out there and await the stick. Darren Bent. Out of favour, cheap/possible loan option. But the one thing he does is score goals. He does the absolutely basics at league level of running the channels, playing right on the last man and laying the ball off. That's all we really need - a guy who can do the basics, something Torres clearly can't.

I absolutely get your point about him playing for the badge, but I think he just needs to play football in the Prem at a decent club where he doesn't have a huge weight of expectation on him. Let him learn to love the game, especially playing in January at some pretty horrible places.