We Hate Scouse

You're all dreaming. Torres is signing a 5 year contract extension.

13 goals in 15/20 appearances. Impressive, I'm bought!

Worst case scenario would definitely be Shaktar, CSKA and BATE Borisov/APOEL That's a shit load of travelling.

He has a heart condition, it's very well known.

The longest it can be drawn out is 5 days

A blood orgy? That sounds painful...

Only? For a 32 year old turning 33 in November. That's a lot of money, he'd no doubt be on £100k+ a week. Tiago would've been free and low wages. The deals aren't even comparable.

Barbara and Dion are meeting for sex? Jealous.

Surely you want him to bet against them, because that'd mean they win?

Could be trolling

We shouldn't let them have MVG unless they take Torres

My finger hurts. This F5 button isn't very comfortable after a while.

I genuinely don't care which it is. It shows the club are moving forward from him, we'll no longer be embarrassed by him. This feels like a whole new signing.

Is this really happening?

If Torres goes, we're definitely still very much in the market.

It'll be interesting to see how it develops.

Reliable source?

Nothing was said, but they seem to have a sort of obsession with Chelsea for some reason. They really don't like us as a club and sing "we hate Chelsea" every other game. It annoys me. I wouldn't say I was a fan or they were my second club, I just go to see new grounds and have a piss up.

Neil Warnock new Palace manager....Chosen ahead of Steve Clarke. Are they mad?

I went to the game a few weeks ago they invaded the pitch then as well despite it being 3-1. There were a few Chels there, Arsenal, Woking, Aldershot, Leyton Orient, Swindon. It was crazy. Smoke bombs the lot.

I have a lot of friends that are Wimbledon fans, they're absolutely gutted. Everyone's loving the club that has tarnished theirs and mocked them for years. The majority of people don't realise the history behind it all. If they saw what MK/Winkelman had done and empathised with Wimbledon they'd realise how bitter sweet the victory actually is.

She is ridiculously good looking though.

Who the hell are you looking at?

back page of the London Evening Standard tonight

Having a half eaten Apple on our shirt is good? It's not the worst out there, but it's definitely up there with them