Leif

Possibly offensive - Definitely hilarious (at times) -

When I was in school, I was the first guy in my year to get a pube It instantly boosted my rather shit popularity a bit once people found out. (Yes, I'm aware this just came out of nowhere and is rather random. Don't rip me to pieces. *That's what she said*.)

QPR will be playing with more Champions League winners than Arsenal do. This won't be easy.

No, it's not directed at anyone in particular. It's more of an exaggerated observation as to how many people on here give Torres special treatment.

"Fuck Kalou and his 36 league goals for us! Kalouless!" *People nod* "Fuck Malouda and his 35 league goals for us! He's so lethargic and lacks effort!!!" *People nod* "Fuck Sturridge and his 12 league goals for us! HE'S SO SELFISH!!!!" *People nod* "Fuck Torres and his 9 league goals for us!"... - "KILL THIS POSTER!!! BAN HIM FROM THE FORUM! YOU'RE A TORRES HATER. LEAVE HIM ALONE. WHAT DID HE EVER DO TO YOU!? YOU'RE A PLASTIC FAN. YOU'RE HURTING HIS CONFIDENCE! :'( HE WILL COME GOOD. IT'S NOT EVEN HIS FAULT FFS. IT'S TURNBULL'S! HE STOLE HIS PASTA BEFORE TRAINING DURING HIS FIRST WEEK HERE SO HE'S FELT ALONE EVER SINCE! it's ok El Nino. fuck da haterz. i believe in u! ktbffh! :cfc: ". And people have the nerve to call us, the people who rightly critisize Torres, pathetic?

Yep. Just as posted above - Like I said numerous times; Atletico HAVE to sell either Falcao, or around 13 squad players or 5/6 core players.

Anyone placing any bets on these games today/tonight? I think I may go for collective wins for - Russia (maybe), Spain, Germany, Poland (maybe), England, France and Portugal. I probably wouldn't win that much though, even on an accumulator.

I like his hair. That's all I've got to say regarding him. Its really, really cool. I'd worry though as he and Luiz would potentially block Cech's sight.

No! It's depressing. *Slaps you with a salmon*

-nevermind this post-

Atletico don't sell to them. At all. They offered something crazy for Aguero, Aguero wanted to join them, but they wouldn't allow the transfer to happen. The fans would go crazy. On top of that, why would Real Madrid buy?

Juventus do not player with wingers. When they play a 4-3-3, they play with the usual defence, a deep-lying playmaker in Pirlo, and 2 box-to-box midfielders in Vidal and Marchisio/Asamoah. The "3" in attack is more like.. well, it's hard to explain. It's usually Matri through the middle, Giovinco as a SUPPORTING striker (not a winger), and then Vucinic who drifts wide to become a winger when he wants, or plays like a 2nd-striker. When they play a 3-5-2, they play with 3 central defenders, 2 wings-backs (De Ceglie/Asamoah on the left; Lich/Isla on the right), the usual MVP midfield combo like in the 4-3-3, and then 2 up-top (usually Vucinic and Matri/Giovinco) who can do as they please.

"The world isn't run by laws written on paper. It's run by people - some according to laws, others not. It depends on each individual how his world will be; how he makes it." I know some of you will want to dispute that due to being more 'serious' about life I guess, but I honestly agree with that quote. Laws won't change people. You cannot force change.

He's certainly not joining Real Madrid. He's surely not joining Manchester City. (It's easy to think they just want to buy everyone, but they're not that stupid.) Who else can afford him? Chelsea, Zenit, Manchester United, Tottenham (assuming they have cash left over from their sales), Bayern Munich, Anzhi, Porto, Barcelona, Benfica, Hamburg at a stretch, PSG, B.Dortmund, AS Roma at a stretch, Juventus (but they don't spend big), Schalke at a stretch, Real Madrid, Liverpool (but they won't spend big and properly), Manchester City, Sao Paulo, and Inter Milan depending on sales. I may be missing someone obvious. Who out of the above are in need of or wanting another striker and could realistically sign him? Chelsea & Schalke (if Huntelaar was to leave). (Manchester City could lose a screw and go after him, but I doubt it.) Sounds simple... right?

Just a random fact I came across. Shevchenko played 46 league games for us, scoring 9 league goals. Torres has played 49 league games for us, scoring 9 league goals.

Apologies to any religious people on here who may be offended by the following video, but this is some of the funniest shit I've ever seen (even if some of what he says isn't completely accurate):

Protein shakes are cunts. So much caffeine. My heart's going as fast as a train. They also give me the shits.

Well if he is actually the person in this vid, he has pretty skinny legs. http://www.guardian.co.uk/football/video/2012/aug/22/i-am-the-secret-footballer-video

The funny thing is, Juventus and Chelsea are probably the only 2 teams I can think of who don't rely on their striker scoring the goals. Most goals from both teams come from midfield.

Re-sign Ballack. Keep him until he's 50. Make him captain. Sorted.

So... you're saying "support has nothing to do with anything" due to us beating 2 teams last season? ... ._____. As has been reported by numerous outlets, and as all followers of Bundesliga know, Bayern Munich supporters don't 'support' their team the whole game. They boo their players often; such as Robben, for any slip-ups they make (unless they're a club legend.) I don't understand how you can use Barcelona as an example either. Every single goal we scored against Barcelona last season was a 'lucky' (as some would call it) counter-attack break; twice initiated by Ramires. Aside from that, we barely left our own half. I'm not trying to sound condescending, but how much of Lichtsteiner have you seen to confidently say "He (Ivanovic) is better than Lichsteiner"? To then mention Azpilicueta who hasn't even played a professional game for us yet is just... foolish. He cannot and should not be compared to anyone by our fans; unless of course you watched him a lot last season with Marseille? No. Barzagli is. Every single area of his game is superior. Watch a few games of Juventus's last season if you want to really get into this. He was certainly amongst the top 10 central defenders last season as any credible follower of Serie A, pundit or journalist will confirm. Finally, as for 'Ivanovic going through a rough patch', that's not good enough. When we talk about players coming up to a game and who's 'better', form is what's being talked about. Otherwise we'd be saying we have the best striker in the world, the best box-to-box midfielder in the world (Essien) and one of the top 3 central defenders in the world (Terry.)

Lichtsteiner is a far superior right-back to Ivanovic. Barzagli is superior to Cahill and Luiz easily, as is Chiellini. Terry is probably even with Barzagli if I'm to be completely un-bias, while we have the superior left-back. I really don't see how that's a even at all. Also, the support of the fans has a lot to do with everything. When Newcastle United fans were singing "Your support is fucking shit, your support is fucking shit" a few weeks ago, our fans hid for a few minutes while Newcastle went through a spell of possession. Support can be the "12th man."

Juve's goalkeeper >>> Chelsea's goalkeeper. (I believe Cech is better than Buffon under pressure, but when it comes to talent and ability, Buffon is slight ahead IMO.) Juve's defence >>>>>>>>> Chelsea's defence Juve's midfield >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Chelsea's midfield Chelsea's front-line >>> Juve's front-line Juve's chemistry >>> Chelsea's chemistry Juve's tactics >>> Chelsea's tactics Chelsea's sudden game-changing players >>> Juve's sudden game-changing players Juve's support (in the stadium) >>> Chelsea's support (in the stadium) Chelsea's manager (when it comes to trophies won) >>> Juve's manager People on here expecting us to win may be in for a shock. I know you should always support your team and it's good to be optimistic, but c'mon. Yes, we won the Champions League and FA Cup, but we finished 6th in the Premier League (behind both Newcastle United and Tottenham) and are about to go against the Serie A Champions who went the season undefeated in the league. I'll stop preaching about this now though!

Just yawned so big that I've locked my jaw. ouch. Thank God I'm not in a prison shower right now.

Is Cahill only getting these votes of confidence because he's English? ._. Although he shouts a lot on the pitch, he doesn't seem comfortable in press conferences or in interviews etc, where your captain really does need to take control, otherwise he'll end up getting slaughtered by the press. As for Mata, I don't think it would be wise making someone with such a small voice who can still not speak our language too well our captain. Although I really don't want him as captain, Cech feels like the obvious choice. It shows what our team has become (I'm not trying to be negative.) Just a few seasons ago, players like Ballack, Carvalho, Drogba, Essien, etc. would all be in with a shout.