CHOULO19

Loui time? Nope, just not the same

United are bottom of the league! It's just so great to have the PL back!

Tbf, illegally so in the first. That was a textbook screen/pick

1 down, 9 to go!

Chelsea FC have today announced that Victor Moses has joined Stoke on loan until the end of the season. The Nigerian, who joined Chelsea two summers ago back in 2012, had a very good first season at the Bridge, scoring 10 times in 43 appearances; most of which came in the Europa League run. But the 2013 AFCON player of the tournament found himself outside of Jose Mourinho's plans last summer and was shipped out to Liverpool where he had a less-than-successful season loan scoring only once in his 19 appearances. This loan to the Britannia Stadium could prove crucial for the 23 year old's future with the Blues. Even though his contract extends till June of 2017, Victor Moses may well find himself on the transfer list next summer. Click here to view the article

Great job @Liquidator! Mind if we wait till late in the afternoon today to put it on the main site? That way it gets more hits.

Now that's what I call a Freudian penis, I mean slip!

Term will virtually divorce him in his head

Actually it means from the other end all the way up to the throat!

On Tuesday, the Blues finished their preseason with a comfortable victory against Real Sociedad in what was the first friendly at Stamford Bridge in 8 years. Here’s a roundup of Chelsea’s European preseason tour this summer: European Tour To begin with, the club chose this season to take the road less traveled by and restrict the preseason to a European tour only. While most top teams traveled to the US and east Asia, Jose and Chelsea decided to have all their friendlies this summer close to home, and with good reason in my opinion. 17 Chelsea players traveled to Brasil this summer to take part in the World Cup. This meant extra care should be taken of how the players are prepared for the new season since the recovery times would be much less than they usually are. This was even of more importance if you consider the fact that Chelsea players had more playing time and ran more than the players of any other EPL team. So, while the advertising department at the club might not be too happy about the club's lack of presence in the American and Asian 'markets' this summer, I am confident it is a decision that Jose Mourinho will be thankful for come May. Results The plan was to first play a couple of matches in England before going on a mini-European tour with games of increasing difficulty and intensity while more and more players were returning from vacation after the WC with 10 matches being played in total. The results came as follows: Chelsea FC 5-0 Wycombe Wanderers Chelsea FC 3-2 AFC Wimbledon Chelsea FC 1-1 RZ Pellets Chelsea FC 3-1 Vitesse Arnhem Chelsea FC 0-3 Werder Bremen Chelsea FC 2-0 Fenerbahce* Chelsea FC 0-1 Besiktas* Chelsea FC 2-1 Ferencvaros Chelsea FC 2-0 Real Sociedad *45 minute mini-matches as part of a charity event to raise funds for the families of the Turkish mining disaster victims. Summary In summary the team got seven wins and a draw from ten matches in all. But like any preseason, the results are the least important aspect. Even more this summer given the fact that most of the first team players missed a considerable part of this preseason. Jose only had 7 first team players available for the matches against Wycombe and Wimbledon. On the bright side, this meant that the Portuguese can get a much closer look at some of the hottest prospects of our youth academy such as Jerimie Boga, Patrick Bamford, Izzy Brown, Lewis Baker...etc. And the youngsters certainly didn't disappoint with excellent performances and some great goals and assists. But at the end of the day, preseason is all about match fitness. And there were certainly enough minutes to go around for everybody. Another huge plus of the preseason is for the players to build some chemistry between them, especially the new arrivals such as Cesc Fabregas and Diego Costa who already look like they have playing with the team for years. So, in conclusion, while some of the late arrivals like Schurrle and the Brazilians might not be 100% fit yet, the team as whole is certainly ready for the trip to Burnely on Moonday night. Click here to view article.

Jose's PC: http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x23rzez_mourinho-press-conference-burnley-hd_sport

http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x23rzez_mourinho-press-conference-burnley-hd_sport

Wow, that's a lot! Even here in Lebanon you'd get a lot of leniency for possession of weed even though it's against the law.

LMFAO This is BY FAR the best one so far: :lol:

Tbf, that's not just an American problem. I once got into a fight with my English teacher for telling her that drug addicts should be accepted into society not thrown in jail.

In my defense I posted it before I saw Spike's post and it was more of joke than anything But you should be proud that it takes two staff members to 'tame' you! Now, let's not get into needless conspiracy theories. Didier and the club were most likely waiting for Oscar to return to the team to talk to him about it. They can't go behind his back and do something like this.

Inside voice, Kieran..

Chelsea football club has announced several squad numbers changes and confirmations of some of our first teams members of the 2014-15 campaign. Most significantly, Oscar will now wear Frank Lampard's recently vacated number 8 jersey. The responsibility of the shirt is something that Oscar clearly respects: "Lamps is legend at this club and I hope I will be as successful in the shirt as he was." The change was made to allow Drogba to retain his legendary number 11 shirt. And the Brazilian was happy to allow that to happen: "Didier is a Chelsea legend and a senior player. I am happy for him to take the 11 and for me to take the 8." The big man himself was delighted to retain the shirt in which he achieved so much with at the club, saying: "I am very pleased to be able to return to the number 11 shirt and I am very grateful to Oscar for allowing me to make this change." The club has also confirmed some of the changes that we saw during preseason; namely, Nthan Ake to take the number 6 jersey and Courtois to take the number 13 that he wore at Atketico. The previous owner of that 13 shirt, Victor Moses, will wear Lukaku's 18. Finally, Chelsea also announced that they are willing to exchange any shirts that have been bought with the previous numbers free of charge: "Chelsea Football Club understands many supporters will already have purchased the new 2014/15 shirts with the old names and numbers on the back. We will be offering anybody who has proof of purchase from an official club store a free exchange on non-matchdays, subject to availability, from today until 12 September inclusive." Click here to view article.

Summary of Jose's press conference here.

Jose Mourinho was very happy to be back at the Bridge for the largely anticipated first prematch press conference of the new season ahead of the clash against Burnley on Monday night. "For me, pre-season was very long, for some players it was very short, but for me and my staff it was very long." he said. "The holiday period was even bigger due to the World Cup." "'I am not saying I am nervous or feeling something special, I'm just happy to be back to competing and the players are the same." He added. "To be back to the real competition is a fantastic feeling. I never hide the fact I like real competition and to be so long without a proper match creates a feeling." Genuine Title Contenders It was clear in the PC that the Portuguese has a different approach and mentality to this new season, specifically for the title challenge. "Yes we are title contenders." Said Mourinho. "Last season we were not feeling as though we were a title contender but in fact we finished very close to the title.We didn't feel as one of the favorites for the Champions League and we played a semi-final, so we did well." "This season obviously we bought some key players, we believe and we are feeling that the new players have brought the squad and team into another dimension." Burnley But the boss was quick to acknowledge the difficulty of the opponents in the EPL and show them respect, starting with our first opponent, Burnley: "If you expect me to say we will win the Premier League I can’t say that. I can’t because I have to respect the competition, which is the only one that has more than two title contenders. I have to respect the opponents and efforts the other teams made to improve their already top teams, but we all feel we are title contenders." He said, adding: "To win against Burnley is the first step, and to win against Burnley will be very hard." First Goalkeeper For the second time this week, Jose spoke about the goalkeeping 'battle' between veteran Petr Cech and youngster Thibaut Courtois for the starting spot in the team. He reiterated that a decision has been made but that he cannot inform the press because "the players have not been told yet and they need to know before you." Adding that "with respect to all other goalkeepers, Chelsea has the 2 out of the 3 best keepers in the world" But for the first time, the manager has hinted that one of the two could end up out side the club before September the second: "I don't think any manager happy to see one player not comfortable...if Petr plays, Courtois can think about leaving and vice versa. I cannot have one top keeper on the bench for 3 or 4 months" Market Is Still Open The final bomb that the Special One decided to drop today was his statement that seemed to negate his previous claims that Chelsea's transfer market is done. Contrary to what he declared a few weeks back after the signing of Filipe Luis, Mourinho today said: "The market is open and experience tells us all that when the market is open and you can never say what is going to happen" throwing the door to Chelsea signing new players before the end of the window wide open again. All in all, Jose Mourinho starts the season with a very informative and eventful press conference as he so often does. Click here to view article.

Shit, I better put this in a spoiler tag:

Yeah, that would great. Thanks.

Spot on. Even City have dropped out of that mini transfer market. I think it would be great business if we can get 10m for Petr.

Trust me, you don't want to know!

Sorry, I won't be home all weekend to do it. If my plans change and there's still no one to do it, I'll let you know.