Spike

Guess what I'm doing right now.

I've been able to swim without aid since I was three.

Juventus are one of those clubs where I struggle to find redeeming qualities.

Agnelli is an idiot.

How do you know when a girl is too young for sex? When you have to make an aeroplane noise to get your cock in her mouth. What's the difference between jam and peanutbutter? You can't peanutbutter your cock up your girlfriend's arse. How do you make a gay man have sex with a straight woman? Shit in her cunt.

I fully believe I'd be able to handle that drink.

I used my brain once; then I was sectioned.

http://www.theguardian.com/news/datablog/2013/oct/09/football-related-arrests-by-club-offence

And then people also have the right to be offended by anything you say. Welcome to free speech.

Ah, Jamie Redknap and Michael Owen. Together they have the personality of a wet piece of cardboard. Jamie Carragher on the otherhand is looking to be a quality pundit. But we'll see with a bit more time. 'Fullbacks are either: failed winger or failed centrebacks. Nobody wants to grow up to be the next Gary Neville'. Fucking hilarious.

@Rmpr, I wandered back into the weird part of the internet.

Should've mentioned me. Instant success, no lie.

Martin Tyler is the voice I believe a lot of people associate with football. I know I do. He has a bit of a soft spot for Chelsea too. Nothing like watching him interview the players and call the FA Cup final.

Bale isn't that great. He is amazing don't worry, but he isn't the type of player to raise a team to the next level. Bale created a one dimensional team that relied on one player far too much. I don't think Thierry Henry and Gareth Bale should be compared at the moment. Paulinho, Soldado, Chadli, Eriksen, Lamela in the same bracket as Francis Jeffers is mental! Spurs are much better team, than last season. Imagine if Spurs didn't reinforce and Bale tore his ACL, they'd at best finish 6th or 7th.

Piss of 'Arry you old twit. How bitter can you get?

I thought this Otamendi fella was decent. But I've only seen Porto play a few times, so my viewing sample size isn't exactly fantastic. Maybe the money would be better spent on an average English/homegrown CB? And god knows, average and English go together like lime and Corona these days.

Hindsight can make these decisions all seem terrible. SAF couldn't predict what could happen with Ravel and Paul.

It'd be like a scratch match at a Davidson family reunion.

He isn't a hot head. David Luiz is a hot head. Diego Costa is just a Suarez level cunt.

http://www.mirror.co.uk/sport/football/transfer-news/karim-benzema-transfer-arsenal-chelsea-2343431 Arsenal and Chelsea among those keen on Karim Benzema as Real Madrid say he can head elsewhere

I'd rather be a prick than have one, which I hear from the lovely lasses around Wick you do.

Haha, 'being a twat'. You are a twat. Cunt.

get gud

Still a big step up from bloody Crewe Alexandria of all places.