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Manuf

By Manuf,
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Rmpr

Rmpr 8,977

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My brazilian friends is there any new hit like Gusttavo Lima - Balada in Brazil right now? All in my head is now Tchê tcherere tchê tchê :D :D :D

Of course we have, but I refuse to infect the forum with shit music! :P

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Finally have internet so I'll be posting more. In other news here is some photos of my son

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Talking of marriage and seeing as the thread is already de-railed - I got married at the weekend It was amazing - hired a marquee and had Dodgems and a carousel along with a double decker bus convert

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Rmpr

Rmpr 8,977

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I need Brazilian music :D Post it or I will ban you :lol:

Do you want one that is trending? One that is famous in the same style of Gustavo Lima? Or a good one like Gustavo Lima but it doesnt need to be a new one?

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CHOULO19

CHOULO19 24,332

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I know, he assaulted her that's why they broke up. Funny thing is his current woman is Khalid Boulahrouz's (his ex-team mate) wife - his wife's "best friend". I'm genuinely flabbergasted at how he's casually getting away with it... :lol:

Wow! That's some great drama series material right there! :P

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Kojo

Kojo 4,676

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Had an emotional breakdown earlier. Time for some confessions (nowhere else to write them so will just put them here, heh.)

First of all, I want to apologize to Rmpr, Kojo, anyone else whom I've conversed with in an immature manor or rustled feathers with. I'm a hot head who's been a bit of a loner for the past few years due to living in an isolated community in the middle of nowhere in Scotland with nothing but 100 pot-heads, annoying family members and 20 snob families. I've got 1 real-life friend called Calum who's 19, 2 years older than me, but suffered an accident 2 years ago which left him with brain damage meaning he's not actually that much of a 'friend' anymore considering he can barely hold a conversation. I guess this causes me to act out online in a way which I wouldn't associate with myself in real life.

I've lived in this shitty community for the majority of my life, wasting away my youth years playing Playstation & talking to people online but not in real life. I guess all the misery properly started (ironically considering how much I go on about it) when I dropped out of school. As it's 50 or so miles away, I've barely been able to keep in contact with school friends, meaning they've pretty much forgotten about me. (I've always been forgettable. Never the leader; usually a sheep. Quiet, shy, reserved.)

Nothing that I love is here. I always dreamed of living in a city or even a borough. I know the whole "The grass is greener" quote, and I partially agree, but in my situation the current grass is dead.

I love fashion, rap music, Chelsea; nothing you'd associate with Scotland.

I dreamed up the fantasy life that I wanted to live. It would be living in Kent or even Surrey. I'd have a dog (which I don't yet have) and my current cat (which is the only thing preventing me from moving at the moment. He has a perfect life here and I'd feel like a dickhead taking him away from that.) I'd be a Chelsea season ticket holder, Matthew Harding end hopefully, and actually have friends in real life to converse with. I'd have my 2 family members who're knee-deep into the music scene living in London (which they do) instead of being around family here whom I mutually despise. I'd actually talk to girls (haven't kissed anyone yet), have a social life. Of course all of that is easier said than done, but that is what I believe would make me feel happiness again which I haven't felt in years.

Dreaming up that fantasy life has been bad for me though. Very bad. I've done something I'm not proud of, and not shared with anyone before. My life is currently sitting at my computer, refreshing this forum, and one terrible thing which starting today I'm trying to stop - Using a fake Twitter account.

To escape the crap reality I'm in I took the pictures of some kid from Worcester around my age, uploaded 'em, got 2,000 or so followers, claimed to live in Kent, claimed to have a dog, claimed to have everything I'm wanting in life - and built loads of relationships (friendships, not 'internet dating' or anything.) It all got so far out of hand it's hard to believe. I never intended to do this shit. It's shit like this which disgusts me when I hear and watch things about "Catfish" (A TV programme) and I've realised I've basically been one myself. My depression has only been worsened by this whole thing despite the original plan being it'd make me feel better.

I've been taking steps to try and re-create myself. As posted a while ago, I was obese. 5'4" and 180lbs isn't a pretty look. I'm now down to 147lbs and counting. The plan is to reach my weight goal, get a proper nice haircut, start grooming myself better and taking care of myself, and heck, maybe even treating myself to a photoshoot so I feel good, who knows. I've heard "If you look good, you feel good", and I want to try it. Then maybe I'll even get a proper picture up of me on here and not have to resort to fake Twitter accounts!

I'm not mentally challenged, impaired or anything like that. But I do suffer from depression, anxiety, a currently unnamed personality disorder which doctors are currently trying to decipher and physical problems caused by an acne treatment I took when I was 14.

Bit by bit I'm trying to improve myself. I just wonder though... will me moving and having a fresh start actually help at all or am I just fooling myself? My mum's agreed we can move to Kent. We've found a few houses we're interested in. We're going to go and browse some in a week's time. Is it worth it? I honestly am so confused right now.

I know I've made myself sound like a scummy human especially with the Twitter thing, but I'm really trying to change.

If anyone's wondered why I'm so awkward and weird, I guess that's your answer. I'm not even sure I'm looking for a reply. I've forgotten so much but I just needed to let out what I could somewhere and this is the only place I feel comfortable.

That's fine,

But word of advice, DON'T SHARE YOUR PERSONAL LIFE ON THE INTERNET!

Very big mistake, but that's up to you I suppose.

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Spike

Spike 12,049

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@Leif, Move to Kent. Do it. A change of scenery changes a lot of things. It won't make all the pain and whatnot disappear but it will provide a chance to change things for the better. I've recently moved myself, over 900kms away from my hometown to be exact. And it's good, sure I've gone through more than my fair share of rough patches but in the end it's been worth it. Hell I'm going through a lot of similar things to you right now. Change of lifestyle, self improvement etc.

How old are you, by the way?

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Igi26

Igi26 346

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Do you want one that is trending? One that is famous in the same style of Gustavo Lima? Or a good one like Gustavo Lima but it doesnt need to be a new one?

New one that is trending in Brazil now. :D :D Also I want a good looking Brazilian girl :P

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Leif

Leif 6,006

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@Leif, Move to Kent. Do it. A change of scenery changes a lot of things. It won't make all the pain and whatnot disappear but it will provide a chance to change things for the better. I've recently moved myself, over 900kms away from my hometown to be exact. And it's good, sure I've gone through more than my fair share of rough patches but in the end it's been worth it. Hell I'm going through a lot of similar things to you right now. Change of lifestyle, self improvement etc. How old are you, by the way?

This message is encouraging, definitely. The last 2 or so days I (with the help of my mum) have been spending hours looking at houses (online), making plans, finding out where it would be best to be located etc, and it surprises me that it looks like it's actually about to get done. I thought this would end up being a 'wish' of mine to move which would never materialise. We're getting the train down to properly view houses within the next few weeks. It will feel odd moving, considering the house I live in won't be topped at all by anything in our price range, but in the long run it should be worth it. I'm currently looking at a place with a "shag pad" (or in other words, a small wooden building in the garden) just in case I get any cute Kent lady friends :halo:

Anyway I turn 18 in June! Celebrating it by hitting a few CoffeeShops in Amsterdam :ph34r:

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