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M.P's and their expenses


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I know there are a MP's who do themselves, And their parties Justice, and all power to them, But they are very much in the minority. Personally, I'd have the rest of the wankers lined up against the wall and have them shot.

Using our money for fucking "pool cleaning", "Horse Manure" and fucking "landscaping" is a fucking disgrace, A fucking shambles and what do we get on the telly today from all parties?, "We are sorry", oh ok thanks for that then, don't you fucking bother to offer to pay it all back will you, Nope, we are but simple peasants so a simple apology will suffice.

Utter and complete wankers. I would urge EVERYBODY not to vote for these cunts, whichever party you support. Possibly the only way to show these cunts just how we collectively feel about these wankstains. What would happen, come election time, If NOBODY voted?, 100% blackout?.

Every fucking MP now show have to go to the press, local or otherwise, and put down exactly what they have claimed since becoming an MP, then let the peasants make up our own minds about these spineless wankers.

I'd like to think that John Smith is turning in his grave just now, Surely Keir Hardie will be. Just sorry that Thatcher isnt already underground. :angry:

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Disgrace but what can we do. That's how they get away with it.

Maybe we should storm the Houses of Parliament V for Vendetta styley.

"What can we do"???? Is that the type of apathetic attitude we should take towards this????? Thats sad, very sad.

Storming the Parliament should only be the beginning.

Elliott, Sadly, You are a Tory, Hey ho :rolleyes:

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"What can we do"???? Is that the type of apathetic attitude we should take towards this????? Thats sad, very sad.

Storming the Parliament should only be the beginning.

Elliott, Sadly, You are a Tory, Hey ho :rolleyes:

Then get organising it CM! I'll be there.

I ain't no tory though, don't think I'd ever vote tory. I disagree with the very word conservative.

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Spending our hard earned cash on chandeliers and £200 bottles of wine. I am fucking incensed. They really need to be culled, or at the very least all sacked.

Culled, Sacked, Shot, or at the very least all three. That wanker Hogg on the telly this morning trying to defend his actions, Cunt :shoot:

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IT'S THE SYSTEM THAT'S A PIECE-OF-SHIT, THIEVING BASTARD, SAY MPs

THE system of parliamentary expenses is a corrupt, scum-sucking, piece-of-shit, bastarding thief, MPs insisted last night.

Hazel Blears has caused more violent retching than the winter vomitting bugMembers from all parties said the rules were a grubby, disgusting little scat-muncher and pledged a wide-ranging inquiry into how the system was somehow able to vote itself into existence in the first place.

As Labour proposed an independent audit committee in its latest deliberate attempt to miss the fucking point, MPs spoke openly about how they had been abused repeatedly by the expenses system.

Barbara Follet, the millionaire Labour MP married to a millionaire author, said it was 'outrageous' that she had been forced to defend her millionaire decision to buy three pairs of matching trainers for her pet fly.

Follett added: "He is a size six, he just happens to have very big feet for his age. And anyway, it's the system that's a repulsive, grasping turd on legs, not me."

Meanwhile the Conservatives were under the spotlight today after it was revealed the system had forced them to claim for lots of really posh stuff.

Shadow health secretary Andrew Lansley used taxpayers' money to buy a Laura Ashley sofa, while policy chief Oliver Letwin claimed for repairs to his tennis court, his Aga cooker and his big brass cock-ring.

Mr Letwin said: "It's very important for my constituents that I am able to prance around feeling the most exquisite pain in my semi-erect penis. The system is so depraved, isn't it?"

But members of the public were quick to dismiss claims about the system as 'mind-buggeringly insulting horseshit' as it emerged that every MP is to get a £25,000 a year security allowance in a desperate bid to stop you kicking their teeth in.

Emma Bradford, from Harrow, said: "I'd like to designate him as as my 'second MP', just for a couple of weeks, so that I can claim twelve grand to have him refurbished and then sell him to some really nasty Russian pimps."

Roy Hobbs, from Oldham, said: "I'd like to buy one of those four-slot Dualit toasters from John Lewis and spank him across the face with it so hard that I break both my wrists."

And Tom Logan, from Salford, added: "If you know that it's wrong now, then surely you knew it was wrong when you were spending my money doing up houses you bought with my money and then dodging capital gains tax even though you'd still have made a tidy profit and would, at least, have been able to return some of my money. You nauseatingly rancid lump of pox-ridden, cock-sucking pigshit."

Constitutional expert Denys Finch-Hatton said there was now an outside chance the scandal could inflict some limited damage on the reputation of the House of Commons adding: "I suspect that from now on Westminster may become known as the 'Motherfucker of Parliaments'."

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IT'S THE SYSTEM THAT'S A PIECE-OF-SHIT, THIEVING BASTARD, SAY MPs

THE system of parliamentary expenses is a corrupt, scum-sucking, piece-of-shit, bastarding thief, MPs insisted last night.

Hazel Blears has caused more violent retching than the winter vomitting bugMembers from all parties said the rules were a grubby, disgusting little scat-muncher and pledged a wide-ranging inquiry into how the system was somehow able to vote itself into existence in the first place.

As Labour proposed an independent audit committee in its latest deliberate attempt to miss the fucking point, MPs spoke openly about how they had been abused repeatedly by the expenses system.

Barbara Follet, the millionaire Labour MP married to a millionaire author, said it was 'outrageous' that she had been forced to defend her millionaire decision to buy three pairs of matching trainers for her pet fly.

Follett added: "He is a size six, he just happens to have very big feet for his age. And anyway, it's the system that's a repulsive, grasping turd on legs, not me."

Meanwhile the Conservatives were under the spotlight today after it was revealed the system had forced them to claim for lots of really posh stuff.

Shadow health secretary Andrew Lansley used taxpayers' money to buy a Laura Ashley sofa, while policy chief Oliver Letwin claimed for repairs to his tennis court, his Aga cooker and his big brass cock-ring.

Mr Letwin said: "It's very important for my constituents that I am able to prance around feeling the most exquisite pain in my semi-erect penis. The system is so depraved, isn't it?"

But members of the public were quick to dismiss claims about the system as 'mind-buggeringly insulting horseshit' as it emerged that every MP is to get a £25,000 a year security allowance in a desperate bid to stop you kicking their teeth in.

Emma Bradford, from Harrow, said: "I'd like to designate him as as my 'second MP', just for a couple of weeks, so that I can claim twelve grand to have him refurbished and then sell him to some really nasty Russian pimps."

Roy Hobbs, from Oldham, said: "I'd like to buy one of those four-slot Dualit toasters from John Lewis and spank him across the face with it so hard that I break both my wrists."

And Tom Logan, from Salford, added: "If you know that it's wrong now, then surely you knew it was wrong when you were spending my money doing up houses you bought with my money and then dodging capital gains tax even though you'd still have made a tidy profit and would, at least, have been able to return some of my money. You nauseatingly rancid lump of pox-ridden, cock-sucking pigshit."

Constitutional expert Denys Finch-Hatton said there was now an outside chance the scandal could inflict some limited damage on the reputation of the House of Commons adding: "I suspect that from now on Westminster may become known as the 'Motherfucker of Parliaments'."

:lol: Classic! You should be heavily involved in satire journalism old boy. That is priceless :tiphat:

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:lol: Classic! You should be heavily involved in satire journalism old boy. That is priceless :tiphat:

I cant take the credit for that CM its the Daily Mash. :blush: I cant believe one of those crooked cunts -Tory David Grey - reclaimed the money for a wreath he laid at Remembrance Sunday

I've just applied to the Social Fund for a dredger for my moat, calfskin driving gloves for the chauffeur , and some uncut bolivian powder....

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I cant take the credit for that CM its the Daily Mash. :blush: I cant believe one of those crooked cunts -Tory David Grey - reclaimed the money for a wreath he laid at Remembrance Sunday

I've just applied to the Social Fund for a dredger for my moat, calfskin driving gloves for the chauffeur , and some uncut bolivian powder....

Ah, The Old Marching Powder eh?, Good choice. I think I'll apply for a new flag pole for the castle and a new badger handbag for the groundsman.

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