KonohasOrangeFlash 2,607 Posted July 5, 2012 Share Posted July 5, 2012 I've reported your post for blatant racism. You don't decide who is and isn't a Queenslander. Being a Queenslander isn't about where you were born or where you live it's about what you believe in. Queensland is my religion, Brisbane is my church and the Maroons are my gods! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
capriccioso 2,545 Posted July 5, 2012 Author Share Posted July 5, 2012 Even Canberra's better. CANBERRA. CANBERRA. Here is a description of our wonderful capital from someone who used to live there (not me. Liverpool born and raised... that sounds bad ):I grew up in Canberra from the mid 70s and left to Sydney around 2004. I wished I'd moved earlier. Yes, Canberra is dull. It's got horrible weather - freezing frosty winter mornings, dry hot summers. If you like shopping malls and not much individuality, then it's the place for you. It's terrible for the arts - I was a musician there and it's got such a low standard of a music scene and practically every art form. I know a lot of music promoters who hate booking big shows for Canberra as its notorious for people buying tickets at the last minute - that's why there's not much visiting entertainment. The suburbs are still empty and dull. Public transport is appalling and you still MUST have a car in Canberra and be prepared to waste a lot of money on petrol.The problem in Canberra is there's too many public servants, that's why it's dull - Dull people make a dull city. Any place where people say "Oh, it's a great place to bring up kids" is obviously going to be boring.I now haven't visited Canberra for 2 years and never want to go back again. It's got no soul and it's proudest moment is Floriade - wow, a flower festival.... A country town with concrete. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
We Hate Scouse 10,329 Posted July 5, 2012 Share Posted July 5, 2012 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spike 12,049 Posted July 5, 2012 Share Posted July 5, 2012 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KonohasOrangeFlash 2,607 Posted July 5, 2012 Share Posted July 5, 2012 WHS why do you hate NSW anyway? Give a proper answer, no trolliing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
We Hate Scouse 10,329 Posted July 5, 2012 Share Posted July 5, 2012 WHS why do you hate NSW anyway? Give a proper answer, no trolliing.Because I don't like Wales............................ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spike 12,049 Posted July 5, 2012 Share Posted July 5, 2012 The girl I will marry will talk like this: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KonohasOrangeFlash 2,607 Posted July 5, 2012 Share Posted July 5, 2012 Because I don't like Wales............................................................. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
capriccioso 2,545 Posted July 5, 2012 Author Share Posted July 5, 2012 Guys, this is the real Queensland:“Daylight saving causes cancer”~ Queenslanders on daylight savings“Why is Queensland's beer called XXXX?”~ A New South Welshman on Queensland's Beer“Because we don't know how to spell grog, right? ”~ Responding Queenslander on Queensland's Beer“The cows won't know when to wake up!”~ North Queensland Bogan on daylight saving. (both real and heard on Mackay radio)Queensland, often referred to as "The Only State" by its residents, and a laughing stock by everyone else is a 'Strayan state known for its ridiculous heat, cane toads, abundance of sporting legends, and being Australia's Texas and being the source of 99.9 per cent of stories featured on A Current Affair.Queensland was created in 1859 when God decided he’d had enough rest and really ought to create something that made all the effort worthwhile. So he created Queensland. Shortly after it was created he realised it was rubbish and donated it to Queen Victoria or in fact left it in a basket at the front door of Buckingham Palace. The Queen was off her face on lead poisoning at the time and didn't notice.In 1860 GOD created XXXX beer, which is consumed by every Queenslander from birth.In January 1901 Queen Victoria died and the state found itself past its "Use By Date". Could it rename itself "Kingsland"? Prince of Wales land? Dead old smelly tart land?Queensland then became part of Australia. This gave the fledgling state some other states to compare itself with. As all Australian people of note were soon found to be either actual or closet Queenslanders, all other states gave up trying.Unfortunately, despite being the birth of civilisation Queensland had the worst education system in the country, if not the world. To compensate for this, they have "The Smartarse State" written on their number plates, to remind themselves every morning when they wake up. Cities in some of the state don't even have Sunday trading, a day entirely devoted to the consumption of pumpkin scones.Queensland is a "land of contrasts". Well, that’s according to all the tourist brochures which are helpfully printed in red, green and blue to illustrate the point.The red symbolises the “outback” - a "myffic" place filled with nothing but dirt, flies, clothes-lines, trampolines and children’s swing sets. The most famous place in the “Outback” is the Ettamogah Pub where “blokes” say “strewth” a lot and drive “utes”.The green symbolises the “Rainforest”. This is an experimental forest being developed by scientists from the Queensland University Department of Coming Up With Big Ideas on Small Budgets (QUCUWBIOSB), in conjunction with the Queensland Government Department of Spending Big Budgets on Mind Numbingly Useless Ideas (QGDOSBBOMNUI).Finally, the blue symbolises the “Ocean”. Queensland is the proud owner of approximately 4,000,000,000,000,000,000 kilometres of prime beachfront real estate. This is a private beach, accessible only upon passing a dress code inspection carried out by officious security staff. Just off shore in the “Ocean” is the “Great Reef Barrier” which was built in the 1950s as a barrier to stop the Japanese from reefing the beach away and towing it home with them.Queensland is known for excessive amounts of unused and uninhabited land belonging to someone named Mabo. editLanguageThe language spoken in Queensland is distinctly different to language spoken in the other states of Australia. This language is most commonly known as "eh but". It is also noted that most Queenslanders drop the ends off words, and put odd pauses in others as well as inserting random profanity into any sentence. Queenslanders also often answer their questions with "Yeah nah". editGodsMost of Queensland, and especially Northern Queensland, recognises Pauline Hanson (also known as the "Oxley-Moron") as Patron Saint and Divine Ruler for Eternity. Some say it was her strict anti-immigration views that gave her this status, but most Queenslanders agree that it's really that she's a Ranga, not a Foxy Lady. "Smartarse State" StatusQueenslanders usually refer to their state as being the smartarse State, via number plates. As a consequence, an IQ test must be completed annually in order to live there. If one fails the test (and achieves an IQ of more than 30) that person is expelled from the state and is made to live in That place that could have been a state but didn't wanna, The Northern Territory (also known as "Upper Coomera"). editWomen of QueenslandThere are 3 types of women in Queensland.madbaddangerous to knowAll types should be avoided. Being one presents difficulties greater than those which the Uncyclopedia can resolve. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
capriccioso 2,545 Posted July 5, 2012 Author Share Posted July 5, 2012 Because I don't like Wales............................But we're not Wales, we're New and South. Also I live in NSW Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KonohasOrangeFlash 2,607 Posted July 5, 2012 Share Posted July 5, 2012 LOL. Australia's Texas Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
capriccioso 2,545 Posted July 5, 2012 Author Share Posted July 5, 2012 Irishblue casually browsing the thread Lol. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
We Hate Scouse 10,329 Posted July 5, 2012 Share Posted July 5, 2012 But we're not Wales, we're New and South. Also I live in NSW Still sheep shaggers! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KonohasOrangeFlash 2,607 Posted July 5, 2012 Share Posted July 5, 2012 This is fast becoming the best thread on the forum. Well done Cap, you genius Still sheep shaggers!Wrong country mate Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
capriccioso 2,545 Posted July 5, 2012 Author Share Posted July 5, 2012 There will be scenes when the mods see this. Or will we get away with it because it's General Chat?Also, we're now 14 posts short of overtaking The Sexy Women thread. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
capriccioso 2,545 Posted July 5, 2012 Author Share Posted July 5, 2012 Still sheep shaggers!I do believe you have us confused with New Zealanders. Kezza would be able to tell you more about that! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
We Hate Scouse 10,329 Posted July 5, 2012 Share Posted July 5, 2012 We're not spamming. As Spike said this is the Aussie thread. We are talking about Australia (And Wales). We're doing nothing wrong! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KonohasOrangeFlash 2,607 Posted July 5, 2012 Share Posted July 5, 2012 We're not spamming. As Spike said this is the Aussie thread. We are talking about Australia (And Wales). We're doing nothing wrong!Finally we Agree! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spike 12,049 Posted July 5, 2012 Share Posted July 5, 2012 This is a Stralian Pub. We speak Stralian here and we get on the piss to get blind drunk. I like me women like I like me coffee full of whiskey and I straight up don't give a fuck about it.Our bloody Prime Minister isn't even an Aussie she is from that place in England ya know? Wales, it a town in London I heards. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
capriccioso 2,545 Posted July 5, 2012 Author Share Posted July 5, 2012 An update on....Tottenham place, there is another plot of land available at 'Guardian Street'. I hope we get that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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