The Mata of Juan at Stamford Bridge

[BLionheart 516]

I didn't write this but i just want to make sure that no one will miss it ,

The Mata of Juan at the stamford bridge !

As he heard Slo Mo's new chart buster rap song 'Flo Mo the Slo Mo', Juan Manuel Mata wished he did not know English!

He wondered if that lady who sits in the dugout as a part of the medical staff had a pill or two of caffeine. Listening to how Slo Mo missed out on the player of the year award to Messi due to widespread corruption at UEFA, definitely demanded medical help to keep awake.

'Looks like you are my new understudy kid'

remarked Slo Mo with a wide grin.

'You see while Drogba trains Lukaku, I train you to be the best, after me of course'.

Juan Mata grunted!

'Haven't you read my exploits in THE RETURN OF THE FLO MO part 1 and 2?'.

Three seconds later Mata was on the floor laughing. Slo Mo knew at that second he'd made a new fan in Juan Mata.

'Alright kid, watch me play and learn. Got to go'

Slo Mo said as he 'slo'ly made his way to the ground!

Bee-yash bo-yash felt like putting a bullet through his head watching the team play out 'the bad moment' style of football to perfection. The fans were p*ssed. The neutrals were bored. But Kalou was still Kalouless as to why he was not on the pitch.

Somewhere in Italy, richer by £18 million Carlo Ancelloti was eating pasta off a large bowl watching TV, not knowing who Norwich were.

An eyebrow raised he saw Hilario fumble and Norwich equalize,

'Bad moment'

he shrugged before launching a new counter-attack on his pasta.

Fernando Torres meanwhile had given up on scoring in this game, but it's better to walk alone than be a scouser he reasoned.

Luka Modric, had a look of empathy on his face as he watched the game sipping beer in a North London ghetto. Wishing he could have helped, he made a mental note to fart out loud in his next meeting with Daniel Levy.

May be that would convince the spuds as to how much he loved them.

For Lukaku, Well let's just say Lukaku's mouth was open. He was at the Bridge, in the dug out, yipee!

'Hey Lukaka'

cried out one fan.

'Lakuka'

said another.

'Lokuko'.

'Lkeekee'

Ffs, why don`t people bother reading properly! Everyone seems to get his name wrong!

Crap! Right in front of him he saw his hero Droggy fall unconscious. Ten minutes later, Romelu Lukaku was on the pitch - worried for Drogba, overwhelmed at his debut, pressurized by the scorecard and relieved Slo-Mo was not on the pitch with him.

Frank Lampard, stepped up to slot home a penalty. Post celebrations he wondered who this Mata kid was.

'At 33, I'm no spring bunny, and this guy has me running left right n centre'.

The substitute Norwich keeper (whose name not many care to remember) still fresh from the shock of having to face a Frank Lampard penalty, could not for the love of god figure out if Juan Mata was a defender or striker or a midfielder. He was everywhere. And when Mata put in the 3rd he wished he was never born.

Somewhere in dug-out as Mata scored, and Stamford Bridge erupted, Slo Mo smiled to himself

'The kid learns fast, one day he may become as good as me'

THE END

Read more: http://www.chelsea.v...7#ixzz1WJw0yvbW

[francozola 2,040]

Somewhere in Italy, richer by £18 million Carlo Ancelloti was eating pasta off a large bowl watching TV, not knowing who Norwich were.

An eyebrow raised he saw Hilario fumble and Norwich equalize,

'Bad moment'

he shrugged before launching a new counter-attack on his pasta.

:lol: the best part

[BlueLion. 21,491]

Luka Modric, had a look of empathy on his face as he watched the game sipping beer in a North London ghetto. Wishing he could have helped, he made a mental note to fart out loud in his next meeting with Daniel Levy.

:lol:

[BlueSunshine 672]

For Lukaku, Well let's just say Lukaku's mouth was open. He was at the Bridge, in the dug out, yipee!

'Hey Lukaka'

cried out one fan.

'Lakuka'

said another.

'Lokuko'.

'Lkeekee'

Ffs, why don`t people bother reading properly! Everyone seems to get his name wrong!

:lol: I don't know why but this reminded me one of the funniest scenes i 've ever seen :

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tQlzaujE5Ys&feature=related

[Madmax 9,219]

LMAO I can imagine Carlo raising his left eyebrow as he sits eating pasta watching Hilario get a brainwave.

[NoFear 23]

Bloody brilliant that !! :D

[termninja 5,290]

Dude!!!! I was laughing for 10min XD

[LDN Blue 7,903]

Fernando Torres meanwhile had given up on scoring in this game, but it's better to walk alone than be a scouser he reasoned.

:pwned:

[bloody 209]

welcome to the club.

very good debut last night. deliver a lot more of such performance consistently and i'll be quite chuffed to bits.

[Blue Armour 4,289]

Frank Lampard, stepped up to slot home a penalty. Post celebrations he wondered who this Mata kid was.

'At 33, I'm no spring bunny, and this guy has me running left right n centre'.

Read more: http://www.chelsea.v...7#ixzz1WJw0yvbW

Hah...that is so true...

People say that Mata will bring the best out of Torres, but right now I see him making things better for Lampard..