Everything posted by Vesper
-
Nobody Else Talks Like This in America (Carolina Brogue) 🇺🇸 Today we’re heading to one of the most remote islands on the East Coast—Ocracoke, in North Carolina’s Outer Banks. We’ll meet up with an old-school local who still speaks the dying Ocracoke Brogue—a mix of English, Scottish, Irish, and a sprinkle of pirate. Only a few still speak it. This is an inside look at a vanishing culture and a way of life few will ever experience.
-
Alexander Isak could cost £250m to sign. This is why – and who could afford it https://www.nytimes.com/athletic/6513565/2025/07/25/alexander-isak-transfer-cost-finances/ Alexander Isak wishing to leave Newcastle United is one thing; working out who could afford to buy him is quite another. Newcastle hope any serious transfer fee conversation will start at the mind-boggling figure of £150million ($203m). To put that into context, it would make Isak the third most expensive footballer in history, behind Paris Saint-Germain recruits Neymar and Kylian Mbappe. The field of possible destinations looks slim. Even ignoring the football factors, the financials in play are huge and an obvious barrier to entering the Isak market. Buying Isak for £150m is more like a £171m transfer once we add in some estimated agent fees and, if the buyer is a Premier League club, a four per cent transfer levy. From a profit and sustainability rules (PSR) perspective, spread over a five-year deal, those fees alone would add £33m-35m to a club’s costs. Then there are Isak’s wages. His exact demands are unknown but given his status as one of the world’s leading players a range of £250,000 to £300,000 a week is far from unreasonable. At that level, the hit to a club would be £15m-£18m annually. Essentially, it’s fair to say signing Isak would lump £50m in annual costs onto his new club — and that’s just from an accounting perspective. It’s often forgotten that clubs will need to pay the money in cash eventually and, over our hypothetical five-year deal, Isak would probably cost a new suitor more than £250m. Plainly, that rules a lot of teams out. But can anyone afford it? What You Should Read Next Alexander Isak’s transfer options assessed: Liverpool? PSG? Al Hilal? Examining where the Newcastle striker could look after telling his club he wishes to explore a move away Serie A In Italy, Juventus have lost around £670m in the past four years. Both Milan and Inter are recovering financially but the fee for Isak would be more than two-fifths of their most recently published revenues. Napoli, Serie A winners last season, have posted impressive profits recently and boasted a strong cash position at last check. They would be the most feasible Italian suitor yet still an unlikely one; their most recent wage bill was lower than Newcastle’s. Bundesliga In Germany, Eintracht Frankfurt’s heady player sales have imbued them with cash and regulatory headroom but signing up to a commitment like Isak is fanciful. Their 2023-24 revenues were £213m, so his signing would cost over 70 per cent of annual turnover. Borussia Dortmund’s wage bill in the same season, when they reached the Champions League final, was only around £12m higher than Newcastle’s, so meeting Isak’s demands seems unlikely even with the club on a generally sound footing. Dortmund weren’t expected to spend much this summer and have already spent their Club World Cup earnings on Jobe Bellingham and Yan Couto. Bayern Munich are a possible option, but success in their other plans, like getting Luis Diaz from Liverpool, would reduce that likelihood. The German champions are the fifth-highest-earning club in world football, according to Deloitte, and consistently profitable, generating a £135m pre-tax surplus in the past five seasons. Bayern Munich have targeted Luis Diaz at Liverpool (Paul Ellis/AFP via Getty Images) Financially, Bayern are one of the few clubs who could afford Isak — they showed as much by being realistic contenders for the signature of Florian Wirtz earlier this summer. But the fact they are prioritising other targets would slim the chances of a deal for Isak. Ligue 1 In France, like with most big-name players these days, only PSG could afford him. They are unencumbered by lax financial rules at home and have enjoyed huge income from the Champions League and Club World Cup recently. Wages fell with the departure of Mbappe last year, but they remain big spenders. Compliance abroad is trickier — PSG are in a ‘settlement regime’ with UEFA until the end of this season, so there are some limitations on their spending. Still, moving on someone like the unwanted Randal Kolo Muani would feasibly open a space for Isak, both in the squad and in terms of remaining within any financial rules. Cash tends not to be a problem in the French capital. La Liga In Spain, Barcelona are having enough trouble making room to register players they’ve already signed. Atletico Madrid just about break even but have high debts to service and, based on most recent figures, the amortisation cost of signing Isak would be more than half their total amortisation bill. They’ve spent big (£65m) on Julian Alvarez since those figures were released, but that in itself likely rules them out of being able to enter the market at over double Alvarez’s price. Julian Alvarez joined Atletico last summer (Oscar Del Pozo/AFP via Getty Images) Real Madrid tend to be able to afford just about anyone and recently announced 2024-25 revenues of €1.2billion (£1.0bn), the largest in the world. Even with Mbappe’s huge wage coming onboard, Madrid were profitable last season, to the tune of €24m (£20m) after tax. Even so, they have pressing needs elsewhere, and there are only so many huge salaries you can take at once. Real have already spent just shy of £150m in transfer fees alone already this summer, and doubling that again looks unlikely, even for them. It’s not impossible, but it is improbable. Premier League And so, what of England? The world’s richest league is naturally the one where clubs could most realistically afford Isak, though even here he’d be limited for actual choice. Tottenham Hotspur have the PSR headroom but unlikely the cash or space on the wage bill, which is kept notoriously low relative to income, and especially as they’re already spending this summer. Further south, as we detailed in June, Brighton & Hove Albion have much in the way of regulatory headroom but are plainly an unrealistic option. That same piece outlined Chelsea as, ludicrously to some, the club with the greatest scope to spend from a PSR perspective. They don’t want for cash, having received not far shy of £1bn from their current owners, but this deal, alongside their other activity this summer, would be pushing things. Particularly as Chelsea are in their own UEFA settlement regime, and the impact of recent intra-group asset sales won’t boost their PSR calculations forever. Chelsea are already in the position of needing to sell players to free up space on their Champions League squad list and, in any case, it’s unclear how Isak’s salary would line up at a club where there’s been a concerted (albeit sometimes overstated) effort to reduce staff costs. Arsenal were long viewed as a viable landing spot for Isak, but the imminent signing of Viktor Gyokeres casts clear doubt on that. Even without Gyokeres, they have spent over £100m already this summer, albeit after a lean year last season (net spend: £20.9m). Arsenal probably could afford the £50m annual cost of signing Isak, especially as revenues continue to rise, but their activity this summer (both completed and pending) would mean they’d very much be pushing toward their limit by doing so. Viktor Gyokeres has already signed for Arsenal (Carlos Costa/AFP via Getty Images) Manchester City have plenty of money and PSR headroom, even after spending some £300m or more since the turn of the year. They could afford Isak, having booked nearly £200m in profit in the past three seasons. Football reasons seem a more likely impediment to moving there. Across town, Manchester United have been heavily loss-making in recent years but, as The Athletic detailed in June, their PSR losses are much lower than previously thought. United remain the fourth-highest-earning club in the world and have undertaken significant cost-cutting over the past year. From a PSR perspective, they may well be able to stretch to someone like Isak, even without Champions League football this year. But cash is another issue. United’s transfer debts were over £300m net even before the recent signings of Matheus Cunha and Bryan Mbeumo, and their need to sell players this summer is more cash-focused than rules-based. To that end, adding Isak’s wage and paying a huge fee to Newcastle looks highly unlikely, and would rely on either a further injection of shares (Sir Jim Ratcliffe invested £238.5m in 2024) or adding to an already hefty debt pile. Remarkably, despite their £300m-plus spend already this summer, Liverpool represent the likeliest Premier League destination for Isak. The Anfield outfit would need to sell players but are already planning to; the departures of Diaz, Darwin Nunez or Harvey Elliott, or even all three, would provide a boost to profits and cash, and help them back toward the policy of sustainability driven by Fenway Sports Group over the past decade and more. Liverpool have been able to spend so much this summer through careful financial management, and it’s exactly that which keeps them in the frame for Isak — even at the huge asking price. It’s a tall ask, even for a club as well managed as they have been, but the conditions to do it really are there: low transfer debt, strong cashflow, surging revenue and saleable assets to help offset the hit both now and in the future. Saudi Pro League Away from the Premier League, the oil-soaked elephant in this particular transfer room is the instance whereby Isak’s overarching employer doesn’t change. Al Hilal are, like Newcastle, owned by the Public Investment Fund of Saudi Arabia and, at the risk of stating the obvious, have no financial worries at all. Since being taken over by PIF in June 2023, Al Hilal have spent over £400m on new signings and goodness knows what more on wages. If they want to sign Isak, they can afford to. The financials would be easy from Al Hilal’s perspective, and while selling to a club of such supreme wealth might comfort Newcastle fans in the knowledge they’ll get a chunky fee for Isak, the reality is more nuanced. Under Premier League rules, any sale to a fellow PIF-owned club would require a ‘fair market value assessment’. In other words, if the league deemed the fee spent by Al Hilal excessive, Newcastle would have to revise down their profit on Isak in their PSR calculation. The ramifications of a move to Saudi Arabia would be even worse on the continental stage. Under UEFA rules, player sales between related parties — which Newcastle and Al Hilal are — have to be measured at zero profit (or a loss), just as Allan Saint-Maximin’s move to Al Ahli in July 2023 was. Isak could be sold to Al Hilal for £150m and Newcastle would enjoy the cash, but under UEFA rules, they’d be disallowed from booking any profit — thus doing nothing to improve their ability to remain compliant on the European stage.
-
From €127m star to €20m flop - the remarkable rise and fall of João Félix https://www.transfermarkt.com/from-euro-127m-star-to-euro-20m-flop-the-remarkable-rise-and-fall-of-joao-felix/view/news/457478 Most players typically welcome the opportunity to thrust their profile into the public limelight when they make a transfer from one club to another, but few would begrudge João Félix from avoiding such attention when he inevitably leaves Chelsea in this summer’s transfer window. Because, much like his entire career to date, the Portuguese forward’s time at Stamford Bridge has largely been one of frustration and failure. And, once again, Félix has struggled to live up to the hype or indeed the transfer fee that was placed on him. According to reports in Portugal, the 25-year-old talent is set to return to Benfica in a deal that would see the Liga Portugal club pay €20 million for 50 percent of the forward’s “rights”. Should Benfica ultimately pay the full €40m to make the move permanent, it would take the total transfer fees paid for Félix over the course of his career to a staggering €236m - placing him above Ousmane Dembélé (€220m) and behind only Cristiano Ronaldo (€247m), Romelu Lukaku (€369m) and Neymar (€400m) on the list of players that have had the highest amount of transfer fees spent on them over the course of their careers. Indeed, when we flick through the pages of Félix’s career we can see that it has been one dominated by big moves and the player struggling to live up to any of them. For example, in 2019 the young forward swapped Benfica for Atlético Madrid for an astronomical fee of €127.2m - which remains the fifth biggest transfer fee ever paid for a player in the history of the sport. However, Félix certainly didn’t live up to that fee by any means and as we can see in the timeline of his market value, after it quickly shot up to a career high of €100m it began to then steadily fall as his performances for the Spanish side offered little to suggest that he was worth the hype. By the time Félix departed the club to join Chelsea on loan in January of 2023, his market value had halved to just €50m. And it was only going to continue going down. Despite a much-heralded move to Barcelona promising a restart for the Portuguese star, it did little for his market value as it continued to drop. And by the time Atlético were prepared to finally cash in on Félix in the summer of 2024 his market value had dropped to €30m. Although the fee Chelsea ended up paying for Félix was less than half that paid by Atleti five years prior, it still hung around the forward’s neck like an albatross. And since then he’s struggled to even live up to a relatively paltry fee of €52m. As we can see in the graphic above, which shows the player’s goals and assists in league competitions over the course of his career, Félix’s fundamental problem has been an inability to perform in Spain, England or Italy as well as he did in Portugal. Injuries have certainly played their part. Ankle injuries ruled the forward out for much of the 19/20 season and then again in the 21/22 campaign when he missed a total of 20 games. However, that doesn’t excuse the fact that the forward has typically averaged around half the goal contributions he achieved in his final season at Benfica in each of the following six seasons. As such, a move back to Benfica perhaps makes perfect sense for Félix. Despite the astronomical fees spent on him and the best attempts of no less than four of Europe’s biggest clubs, the Portuguese forward has simply failed to be the player he promised to be when he left his home nation in 2019. Maybe, once European football has moved on and the limelight is firmly behind Félix, he can get back to doing what he did so well in Portuguese football for the club that turned him into a world star.
-
lol at spuds
-
agree Malick Fofana at £40m or so is no long 'steal' territory Rodrygo is in 3rd place then Simons in 4th
-
and he gets to break in that superb new stadium
-
I think they meant £300m total, counting other players sold as well
-
Lyon have really jacked up their price for him after they won their appeal they went from wanting £24.9m including add-ons (which is when I was all BUY BUY BUY) to now wanting around £40m, including add-ons
-
you all will think me daft BUT do not sleep on Everton this season if they get their targets into the fold not saying they will be top7 or 8 but they may well be a decent club
-
I will do a dance if we get £20-25m for Sterling AND not have to pay anything more salary-wise (hello KSA)
-
Alejandro Garnacho Is Worse Than You Thought.
-
£40m and it is bye-bye
-
Huijsen being ambipedal was a huge plus for me at CB as well but Real Madrid came calling 😕
-
from other big boy clubs
-
coin flip between Yıldız and Rogers would LOVE either one here Rodrygo a cunt hair behind those 2, the more I ponder it
-
TOPJAW - Best Curry in London: Where Chefs Eat We’ve interviewed 200 chefs, industry dons and our favourite celebs on the Best of London, we’ve totted up all the answers and these are the Top 5 best curries as voted for by them. Best Curry doesn’t mean Indian, we receive answers from all regions around the world where curry is a significant part of their cuisine. However, I guess the Top 5 list is a reflection of our affinity towards Indian cuisine. Which question shall we do next? 00:00 Brigadiers 03:48 Tayyabs 07:20 BiBi 11:17 Darjeeling Express 14:15 Gymkhana Thank you so much for watching - we love seeing your comments!
-
Magic Grandpa is back — and Labour will laugh him off at its peril Everything about Jeremy Corbyn’s party launch seemed shambolic but there are very good reasons his former party comrades should be nervous https://www.thetimes.com/uk/politics/article/jeremy-corbyn-your-party-zarah-sultana-wqv373cwh It’s not altogether clear how seriously you’re meant to take a political party that can fit inside a single pantomime horse costume, especially when it’s riding about with no name. But still, it looked like it felt good for Jeremy Corbyn and Zarah Sultana to be out in the rain. The launch event, if it can be called that, of Corbyn and Sultana’s new party took Westminster by surprise, but the party’s brand new leader denied it had been done on the spur of the moment. Launching a nameless political party was, he said, “totally coherent”, while standing in some very light drizzle in central London. For now, it is called “Your Party” and its leader explained that he couldn’t possibly name it until he’d read through all the suggestions, which can still be submitted at yourparty.uk. Suggestions, he said, had been coming in at “more than 500 a minute”, which does raise the possibility that some of them may not be altogether serious. When he was asked by a TV news reporter why it didn’t have a name, Corbyn cracked a little smile and said: “Well we’re open to suggestions for names so if you’ve got a suggestion for a name, bring it on. Any ideas out there, I’m ready to receive them.” He explained that the name would be chosen “by a final assembly later in the year”, which might sound hilarious, but don’t forget that was also his big idea, back in 2019, for his own party’s policy on Brexit. Well, not his big idea, his shadow Brexit secretary’s big idea in fact. Whatever happened to him. Things like, you know, just choosing the name yourself, is not for them. That’s the sort of thing, according to the two-page letter the pair of them published on X, that the “top-down control freaks” in the Labour Party do. His former party is doing its best to pretend not to be worried. “The electorate has twice given its verdict on a Jeremy Corbyn-led party”, was how one anonymous Labour Party figure put it to the BBC. But that cheery little smile on the face of magic grandpa is a little bit of an earthquake. One of the verdicts of the electorate on Corbyn wasn’t all that damning, in the sense that he received 12.9 million votes, which is about three million more than Starmer managed last year. Corbyn announced his new, unnamed party in central London on Thursday LEON NEAL/GETTY IMAGES Corbyn came within a whisper of victory, which we must believe would definitely have horrified the prime minister and half his cabinet, all of whom campaigned for him. Even in the middle of a Labour landslide, people out there who share Corbyn’s worldview cost Starmer Jonathan Ashworth and Thangam Debbonaire, who would both have been in the cabinet, and very nearly cost him Wes Streeting and Jess Phillips too. If smiley, twinkly, albeit still-wrong-about-everything Corbyn has got four years in him then he might even be, in a crowded field, straight in at number one as his former party’s worst enemy. It’s easy to laugh at Corbyn. In fact I would strongly encourage it. It’s the only viable psychological coping mechanism. But if they’re laughing in Downing Street, then they might live to regret it.
- 16,141 replies
-
- governments
- laws of countries
-
(and 1 more)
Tagged with:
-
Gaza, Corbyn … and golf with Trump? Starmer’s summer of pain The prime minister is facing challenges on multiple fronts as Labour’s poll ratings continue to slide https://www.thetimes.com/uk/politics/article/nigel-farage-jeremy-corbyn-trump-starmer-pain-s5j7th20c Sir Keir Starmer is looking forward to President Trump’s visit. The prime minister is hoping that it will generate largely positive headlines, potential breakthroughs on US tariffs on steel and pharmaceuticals and an agreement to strengthen support for Ukraine. The wargaming in No 10 has even extended to what to do if Trump asks Starmer to play a round of golf — a sport the prime minister has zero interest in. The conclusion was that Starmer would be prepared to try his hand if it helped bolster the special relationship. But on the eve of Trump’s arrival, President Macron dropped the equivalent of a political bomb. The French leader announced that he would formally recognise a Palestinian state at the UN General Assembly in September. • Why Israel can’t brush off France’s recognition of a Palestinian state “We must finally build the state of Palestine, ensure its viability and enable it, by accepting its demilitarisation and fully recognising Israel, to contribute to the security of all in the Middle East,” he said. Downing Street had advance notice that a shift in the French position was likely, but did not expect it to come so soon. It now poses a potential diplomatic nightmare for Starmer, and there is a risk that the pressure — from both without and within — becomes overwhelming. Labour is committed to recognising a Palestinian state — the party’s manifesto described statehood as an “inalienable right” — but Starmer has consistently argued that it must come when it has the “greatest impact”. Cabinet ministers, including Wes Streeting, the health secretary, and Shabana Mahmood, the justice secretary, have been urging him to press ahead with recognition. More than 100 Labour MPs have signed a cross-party letter calling for recognition, describing it as a “historic responsibility”. The prime minister is hoping to seek clarification on tariffs CARL COURT/GETTY IMAGES However, any shift in position during the Trump visit would have been explosive. To say that Macron’s announcement has not gone down well in the White House is an understatement. Marco Rubio, the US secretary of state, said: “This reckless decision only serves Hamas propaganda and sets back peace. It is a slap in the face to the victims of October 7.” Starmer responded to Macron by putting out a statement that was strong on rhetoric, describing the suffering and starvation as “unspeakable and indefensible” and warning of a “humanitarian crisis”. On Friday, he hosted a call with Macron, Friedrich Merz, the German chancellor, and Giorgia Meloni, the Italian prime minister, to discuss the issue. In the end, he opted to keep the line. He said the government’s support for a Palestinian state is “unequivocal” but that it should only happen at a time of “maximum utility” as part of a “pathway to peace”. The UK’s preconditions — that there should be a ceasefire, the restoration of humanitarian aid to Gaza and the return of hostages — remain. How sustainable that line is remains to be seen. Recognising a Palestinian state, as President Macron will do, was in the Labour Party manifesto TIMOTHY A CLARY/AFP/GETTY IMAGES How Corbyn’s new party could hurt Labour At home, Starmer is facing a new threat from an old enemy. In Downing Street, the launch of Jeremy Corbyn’s political project on Thursday was met with no little trepidation. But at Reform UK’s headquarters in Westminster, there was an air of celebration. Nigel Farage, the leader of Reform, said: “I think Corbyn’s going to attract a vote. “There is growing appetite in certain quarters for old-fashioned Marxist socialism, and it will hurt Labour. If they are able to organise sufficiently and field large numbers of candidates, it will help us enormously.” For all the farce surrounding the launch of Corbyn’s political project — which still remains nameless after initial confusion — it has the potential to do real damage to Labour. The Corbyn pitch is simple — the “mass redistribution of wealth and power” and an end to the “genocide” in Gaza. For those on the left disenchanted with Starmer after the compromises of a hugely challenging first year in power, it may prove to be irresistible. • Jeremy Corbyn’s new party could seriously damage Labour Reform thinks Corbyn’s party can pick up 10 per cent of Labour’s vote in many seats, splitting the left and potentially paving the way for Farage to reach No 10. Polling by YouGov suggests that 31 per cent of those who voted Labour would consider voting for a new party led by Corbyn. Corbyn said that 230,000 people have already signed up to support the project, which was launched sooner than planned. James Schneider, a former Corbyn aide who is helping set up the party, said it would offer “class war with a grin”. He added in an interview with the New Left Review: “The reason for our problem is the bankers and the billionaires. They are at war with us, so we are going to be at war with them.” He said there will be a conference in the autumn and that there will be a “collective leadership team”. “It basically means building the car while driving,” he said. The goal was political meetings that are “lively, participatory and rooted in popular culture — with music, food, even dancing”. Asylum hotel protests in the UK At the same time, Starmer is having to contend with the threat of riots. Downing Street is increasingly concerned by the scenes outside asylum hotels in Essex, Norfolk and east London, especially in the wake of the Southport riots last summer. On Monday, Farage used a press conference, given on the theme of law and order, to warn that Britain is on the cusp of “civil disobedience on a mass scale”. Nigel Farage, Reform UK’s leader, is delivering speeches on failing law and order in the UK THOMAS KRYCH/ANADOLU/GETTY IMAGES On Tuesday, Starmer and his ministers discussed the issue at cabinet, and in place of the usual banal readout was something far more evocative. • Why are we seeing anti-immigration protests again? Angela Rayner, the deputy prime minister, warned colleagues of the “profound” impact of migration and technological change on society. It was no coincidence, she said, that 17 of the 18 places that experienced the worst disorder last summer ranked among the most deprived. While Rayner’s diagnosis was clear, her solution — that the government needs to invest more in local areas to restore pride and deliver on its priorities — has been questioned. One minister said that Labour risked inflaming the situation further but putting the issue up in lights. Reform will use the backdrop of the escalating tensions to continue to hammer home its message on law and order. Farage said that next week he will hold another press conference with “acknowledged experts” on the issue as he seeks to put law and order alongside migration as the party’s core message. “I think it is societal collapse,” he said. “People sense it. They sense that something is going awfully wrong. The country is going down the drain for it, I’ve decided to make it a really big campaign.” How junior doctors’ talks unravelled Furthermore, the government’s clash with resident doctors has turned into attritional warfare. Starmer’s decision to take on the British Medical Association (BMA) directly means there is no hope of a quick resolution to doctors’ strikes. • Meet the BMA leaders behind the resident doctors’ strikes in 2025 After the acrimonious collapse of negotiations, ministers concluded that the union’s leadership was unable or unwilling to negotiate a deal, and the only option was, in effect, to break the strike. Streeting has accused the union of “holding the country to ransom”. Privately, he is said to have compared his emotions to a parent who has been “really let down by one of their children” after taking office with huge sympathy for resident doctors, previously known as junior doctors, but now feeling they have exhausted his goodwill. While there were some indications that fewer doctors were out on strike than during a previous campaign, grinding down BMA resolve will be a long, attritional process. Government negotiations with the BMA over resident doctors’ pay have broken down TIMES PHOTOGRAPHER JAMES GLOSSOP Ross Nieuwoudt, the BMA resident doctors’ committee co-chair, asked: “Could this dispute last forever, if the government never negotiates with us? “I guess theoretically, yes. If they’re not willing to genuinely take on board the warnings of resident doctors with their strike action, then it’s going to be really difficult to reconcile.” A protracted campaign of strikes would destroy Starmer’s already fragile hopes of hitting the routine waiting lists target. Turning round the NHS is one of the main reasons voters give for choosing Labour, and a failure to make tangible improvements would be politically fatal. In the meantime, when parliament returns in September, there will be a host of tectonic events, culminating in the autumn budget, where the chancellor, Rachel Reeves, faces the prospect of having to announce huge tax rises to balance the books. Some in government are already talking about it as one of the most challenging fiscal events in history. At a reception in No 10 this week, Starmer said he is “ready for a summer break”. He’s hoping to get away for at least a week in August, and a chance to escape the “weird ways of Westminster”. He even managed a joke at his own expense, drawing comparisons to the last Labour government when Oasis were touring the country. “The only difference is the poll ratings, but things can only get better.” The problem for Starmer is simple. What if they don’t?
- 16,141 replies
-
- governments
- laws of countries
-
(and 1 more)
Tagged with:
-
Bonnie Blue: 1,000 men and the worrying normalisation of porn Bonnie Blue, 26, is the Gen Z Brit who earned £1.5 million a month posting footage online of her having sex with multiple men, with controversial stunts targeting university students. Janice Turner meets the most notorious woman on the internet https://www.thetimes.com/life-style/sex-relationships/article/bonnie-blue-interview-1000-men-normalisation-porn-dd6rcq8gq Tia Billinger, aka Bonnie Blue: “It’s going to be difficult when I’m ready to date again, because of what I do” TOM JACKSON FOR THE TIMES MAGAZINE If you’ve never heard of Bonnie Blue, ask your teenage kids, the guys down the pub, your female colleagues. In fact, anyone with a social media account. They may respond with disgust or lurid fascination, but I guarantee they’ll have an opinion on this outwardly ordinary 26-year-old from Derbyshire, who claims that on January 11, within a 12-hour period, she had sex with 1,057 men. This purported world record — one that goes undocumented by Guinness — begs many questions. How did she do it, given that’s 41 seconds per man not including changeovers? What was the physical toll? What childhood trauma led her to relish such gross public degradation? Because let’s be clear, what Bonnie Blue does is by most standards extreme: in videos her small, slight, naked body is passed like a toy between multiple men who take turns penetrating her mouth and vagina, often at the same time. She kneels attending to a whole circle of penises, working manically in rotation like a music hall plate-spinner. Occasionally the men slap or choke or urinate on her: sometimes she gags and retches or looks overwhelmed by this sexual feeding frenzy. Unlike most porn stars, she doesn’t bother to fake orgasms: she is there not to receive but to provide pleasure for men who conclude by ejaculating on her face. From a social media post in January @BONNIE_BLUE_XOX/INSTAGRAM And yet Bonnie Blue — now the subject of a Channel 4 documentary — is mainstream. You don’t need Pornhub to watch her: you can scroll unexpurgated clips of her “events” on X. Meanwhile, on Instagram and TikTok she posts nonstop wholesome scenes from her life: Bonnie with her fluffy dog; on a beach in a bikini; hungover eating lunch. The notion is she’s a normal girl who simply loves doing porn, and not just with other professionals. If you are a man, any man, “barely legal or barely breathing”, just turn up, join a queue and she’ll do you, although her preference is for 18-year-old virgins recruited at college freshers events. (A clip of one mother turning up to drag her son home went viral: “Where’s your coat?” she demands furiously. But it’s too late; he’s already had his go.) Bonnie is where the influencer economy meets the porn industry: horny teen boys get free sex with a famous girl in exchange for filming content that she monetises to earn millions. Her queue of men has been compared to strangers recruited online to rape a drugged Gisèle Pelicot, but I’m reminded too of lines you see outside any Instagram-famous shop or café: screwing Bonnie is about sex, but also participating in a craze. Is Bonnie, as she insists, an “empowered” woman, the ultimate expression of female bodily autonomy? Andrew Tate has described her as “the perfect end result of feminism”, and certainly “sex-positive” feminism has long valorised sex work, which must make Bonnie, coolly getting rich on gangbangs, a modern Emmeline Pankhurst or Germaine Greer. In any case, the results of our global experiment in exposing children to pornography before their first kiss is now here in human form. From Tia to Bonnie Her real name is Tia Billinger and we speak at the Times offices, where someone has booked us a glass-fronted room in the newsroom, meaning a constant stream of curious journalists flows by. She wears a pink Balmain minidress chosen by her Italian stylist, Ermes, but otherwise she looks like any nice, well-groomed twentysomething: luxuriant hair, shaped brows, natural make-up and nails, an athletic 5ft 3in figure, no boob job or tattoos or piercings, sweet face, veneered smile, grey-blue eyes with a fiercely direct gaze, which her right-hand man and videographer, Josh, calls her “death stare”. I felt I was interviewing two people. Tia, the bright, funny, polite northern girl who loves her family, crafting, pets and Netflix, is occasionally possessed by lewd, crude Bonnie. Beyond our room is a Sunday Times leaving do. “Does he want a farewell blow job?” she asks. Er, I think it’s a woman. She grew up in Draycott, a village between Derby and Nottingham, the sort of place, she says, “where your parents are neighbours with people they went to school with, and they live two minutes down the road from their parents. Which is nice, but it’s as if you can’t leave.” Her father was a welder who repaired railway tracks, working long hours often away from home. Her mother stayed home looking after Tia and her sister, then worked as a childminder, shop assistant and nursing home carer. It was a warm, close, loving childhood. Tia and her sister were crazy about dancing, taking nine classes a week of tap, ballet and freestyle, and in 2015 they took part in the British street dance championships. School bored her, but she thought about becoming a midwife until she saw that after four years’ training she’d be on £21,000. She was already earning that aged 16 by teaching dance and working in Poundstretcher. So she dropped out of A-levels, “not because I didn’t have a good work ethic. Quite the opposite; I wanted to work. I was hungry. I wanted to earn money. University would only have slowed my life down.” • Why you should watch sex scenes with your children So she worked in recruitment, “a glamorised call-centre sales job” placing finance assistants and accountants mainly within the NHS. She did that from 7.30am to 6pm for five years. “I felt like my life got so serious so quickly. My friends were still talking about missing homework while I was thinking, ‘I need to find a finance director for Derby Hospital.’ ” Articulate and engaging, she was good at her job and it brought material success: by 19 she drove a Mercedes C-class. She’d met her boyfriend, Ollie, a private-school boy, at a New Year’s Eve party when she was 15. They bought a house and were saving for a lavish wedding. Yet Tia was still deeply dissatisfied. “I kept thinking, ‘Is that all there is?’ The desire to leave your home town is quite strong, isn’t it?” In older friends she saw her life mapped out: a kitchen extension, one nice holiday a year, 20 days’ leave, yearning for Fridays to come around. She wondered if a baby would help, but she wasn’t pregnant after 18 months of trying and tests revealed it would be hard for her to conceive. So once lockdown ended, she and Ollie, an estate agent, sold their house and cars, had a register office wedding in February 2022 and moved to Australia’s Gold Coast. Here material things mattered less, “because when you open your back doors, you’ve got the most beautiful beach and you get a cheap lilo from the corner shop”. A planned gap year turned into two. Then family and friends told her it was time to find a job. “They said, ‘You’ve had the best two years of your life.’ And that sentence was the biggest wake-up call, because I thought, yes, they were good years, but surely can’t be the best of my whole life.” Tia created her Bonnie Blue alter ego when she began performing in front of a camera online TOM JACKSON FOR THE TIMES MAGAZINE ‘My first time as a cam girl, I was so nervous’ Resuming the nine-to-five filled her with dread and she’d noticed on TikTok “women, all different shapes and sizes and backgrounds, were getting extra money doing camming online”. Cam girls talk with and perform for men online. The first five minutes are free, and the trick is to lure a man into a virtual private room where he will pay per minute to watch you strip or perform sexual acts. “The first call, I was so nervous,” she says. “But I thought, worst case, I’ll slam the laptop shut and never mention it again. But instantly I enjoyed it, and I was good at it. It’s just sales, really.” Her alter ego, “Bonnie Blue”, was born, and Tia used skills acquired in recruitment to stand out from thousands of other cam girls. She knew how to work out exactly what a man wanted: “You ask them very open questions, so they fill in the gaps for you.” She kept a second laptop off-camera where she could google unfamiliar sexual practices. “One guy asked for SPH. I had to look it up. It’s small penis humiliation. Then I went, ‘Oh, your penis is so small. It’s pathetic. It looks like an AA battery.’ Some men love that, but I’d no idea.” Soon she was camming for hours, pulling in good money. I ask how Ollie felt and she says he encouraged her, “though he didn’t pimp me out”. In Australia she’d put on weight, lost her dancer’s body, felt self-conscious, especially as the Gold Coast was a hive of glamorous influencers. “I became really insecure. I’d cover up my body, cancel trips.” Having hundreds of strangers telling her she was beautiful raised her self-confidence. She insists her work wasn’t why Ollie returned to England and they are now divorcing. “We just grew apart.” After he left, Tia/Bonnie became a “full-service” escort. She recalls the first time she had sex for money. “I was nervous. I thought he might ask for a refund. It was a guy in his thirties with two kids and a missus. He booked a hotel. I remember saying to him, ‘OK, tell me what you like, what you enjoy.’ And he’s like, ‘Look, I just want sex. I’ve got to go in 20 minutes.’ It lasted about five or six. He hopped in the shower and left. I had the biggest smile on my face and £500.” • Porn, consent and body positivity: How to talk to your teens about sex She also joined OnlyFans, the British-owned subscription platform that, although it hosts content providers from chefs to celebrities, is chiefly known for porn. Then she applied her sales brain to climbing its rankings. She’d heard about Schoolies, a celebration at the end of Australian high-school exams, and went there to distribute business cards with a QR code to her OnlyFans page. She claims she was only musing whether to sleep with the boys when the Daily Mail ran a story calling her a sexual predator. So she leant into the publicity and offered herself free to 18-year-olds who would consent to be filmed, and then posted their brief encounters online. Her subscriber base soared. She had, it seems, invented a revolutionary category of sex work: the porn star who breaks through a laptop screen into a teenage boy’s life. Holding a sign saying “Bonk me and let me film it” (made by her mother), she slept with 150 18-year-olds at Nottingham University freshers week and 122 during US spring break in Mexico. The resulting outcry about her seducing and deflowering “barely legal” boys led to her being banned from Airbnb, Tinder, Hinge, Australia (for visa breaches), Fiji and Nottingham Forest’s City Ground stadium, where she’d advertised her location to fans. “But men,” she points out, “have made porn content with schoolgirls since day one. Sexy schoolgirls pretending they don’t want it, then two minutes later they’re bent over the desk. No one has ever caused an uproar about that. So why can’t I do a schoolboy?” She has a point. “Teen” is porn’s most searched online category and even before the internet, Hustler magazine’s most popular offshoot was Barely Legal: magazines and movies featuring girls of 18 who looked far younger and were frequently shot in student dorms being “sexually initiated” by older men. Porn as sex education Porn directors preyed on damaged girls from troubled homes, many of whom were abused as children: they had conveniently lower sexual boundaries and no one to protect them. Today such girls are still likely to end up in prostitution or grim Pornhub clips. But Tia/Bonnie is adamant she has no tragic backstory, no abuse, no “daddy issues”. As does Lily Phillips, another OnlyFans girl from Derbyshire, the subject of a YouTube film about having sex with 100 men. (Tia, who worked with her, claims Lily copied her world record idea.) Lily Phillips, who made a YouTube film about having sex with 100 men CHRISTOPHER L PROCTOR Tia tells me she lost her virginity at 13, to a boy of 14, and first started watching porn at 12. Lily was only 11. For their generation, born in the late Nineties, entering adolescence when smartphones first became widely available, this was unexceptional. In fact, Tia sees porn as vital sex education: “It’s probably best sometimes they watch some to see how it’s done.” Porn is first consumed now on average at 13, although 15 per cent are just 10. The fallout from this is just filtering through: in 2022, figures showed that the majority of sexual crimes against minors — including rape, assault, indecent exposure and voyeurism — were committed by other children. Tia and Lily didn’t think anything abnormal happened to them because porn’s narrative that a girl’s role is to serve male needs is now utterly normal. In her videos, Bonnie tells men she wants to be their “slut”, their “cum rag”. The disgustingness is not an unfortunate consequence but part of the point: she displays with relish her eyes almost blinded by semen, the bedroom floor littered with hundreds of discarded condoms. She claims gangbangs are her sexual kink. “I tell men, ‘Throw me around, destroy me, spit on me, slap me … I want you to make a mess of me.’ ” I say such porn has made men think that choking women during sex — a sometimes lethal act — is normal. “If I went on a first date, I’d want him to choke me,” she says. “I just think when rougher sex is posted, whether that’s on Pornhub or OnlyFans, it should have a warning. Like when you watch Britain’s Got Talent and it says, ‘Don’t try this at home.’ ” Yet she rarely orgasms in her films “because I need to concentrate, and there’s too much going on. Making sure my hands are both moving, my mouth is busy, the next guy is coming in …” So your porn has nothing to do with female pleasure? “I get a lot of pleasure from men’s pleasure,” she says, “knowing it’s turning them on.” Photographed on social media with (fake) police as a publicity stunt @BONNIE_BLUE_XOX/INSTAGRAM ‘If you could earn £1 million a month, you’d get your bits out’ By January, Bonnie claimed to have 800,000 OnlyFans subscribers — a mixture of free and paid accounts — making her its top content creator and, since it takes 20 per cent of earnings, its biggest cash cow. In the Channel 4 documentary, her mother remarks that although shocked initially by her daughter’s career, “If you could earn £1 million a month, you’d change your morals and get your bits out.” Tia/Bonnie turned the outrage about her having sex with young fans into online rocket fuel. She baited the (mainly) women who denounced her, saying they were too lazy to have sex with their husbands. To critics who said she was putting feminism back 100 years, she replied it was stay-at-home mums, not a financially independent woman like her, who were socially regressive. Soon everyone was talking and tiktoking about her and she felt her profile was high enough for her biggest event to date: sleeping with 1,000 men. The insatiable woman is a mythic figure, a source of horror and disgust from Messalina, wife of the Roman emperor Claudius, who was said to slip out of her palace to bed dozens of men in brothels, to the Singaporean porn actress Annabel Chong, who in 1995 replicated Messalina’s feat. Hired by the porn director John T Bone, Chong staged what was dubbed “the world’s biggest gangbang” on a set made to look like a Roman orgy. Chong, who was only 22 and had been brutally gang-raped as a student in England, claimed to be challenging gender roles when, over the course of 10 hours, she had sex with 70 men a total of 251 times. This record was broken by various porn stars and had been held since 2004 by Lisa Sparks, who at the third annual world gangbang championship in Warsaw reportedly had sex with 919 men. Tia/Bonnie organised her attempt on the record like a military operation, hiring a house in Marylebone and 16 staff to process the queue. Advertising her location on Telegram and X, she told men “to bring your friends, your family and your neighbours”. Hundreds showed up to have their ID verified and to wait in a corridor for hours. Condoms were provided and blue balaclavas for those who wanted to hide their faces on film. A “fluffer” was employed to get them excited. Some men had a few minutes alone but most took part in vast group sessions. To count towards her tally, each man needed to penetrate her vagina at least momentarily. Why do men like gangbangs? “Some find it fun,” she says. “I’ve had groups of friends just having a laugh, high-fiving each other. I feel more confident that if one of those guys felt depressed, he could reach out to one of his friends because they’ve got an open relationship, a connection.” (I wonder why they can’t, maybe, go paintballing.) She has security because, “I get scared that if a guy comes on another guy by mistake, they’d be like, ‘Oh, you’re gay. Why have you done that?’ ” When Bonnie appeared with him on the Disruptors podcast, Andrew Tate said men who enjoy gangbangs are gay. “He thinks everything’s gay.” Appearing on the Disruptors podcast with Andrew Tate in June @BONNIE_BLUE_XOX/INSTAGRAM Speaking of the physical toll of her world record, Tia/Bonnie sounds like a marathon runner pushing her body to the max. She talks of staying hydrated and keeping up her blood sugar halfway through with a doughnut. “Eight hours in,” she says, “I started to sting, so I thought I’m going to use some lube, but that stung more.” Her jaw seized up, but she was more concerned with her sexual reputation than the pain. I ask if she’s ever turned down a man and she cites one with a fake ID and another who shamed other men for their small penises. “I told him instantly to get out.” But aren’t some men disgusting or smelly? She says she tastes more Lynx aftershave than unclean penis. Then she tells me something so disgusting I gag — that she was once expected to lick the anus of a porn star with huge piles. Oh Tia, I say, and she says brightly she’d do it for anyone. “Mostly they’re quite clean.” What about loving sex? “I’m taking a break,” she says. “Me and my ex were together for a very long time and I’m fine not being in a relationship. It’s going to be difficult when I’m ready to date, because of what I do.” But, she adds, “Some of the sex I have with people is loving, but it’s not boyfriend and girlfriend loving.” TOM JACKSON FOR THE TIMES MAGAZINE. STYLING: ERMES DE CRISTOFARO AND SUSIE LETHBRIDGE Too extreme for OnlyFans After she’d completed the 1,000-man gangbang and Josh was editing it to be sold to subscribers for an estimated £300,000, OnlyFans suddenly announced it would not host porn made with amateurs. Visa, which runs its online payment scheme, thought her material too extreme. Analysts have also noted that OnlyFans is preparing for an $8 billion (£6 billion) sale and didn’t wish to scare off buyers. So Bonnie hired 100 professional porn actors for another challenge. I sense she found this painful and unpleasant: the men were exceptionally well endowed and pounded her aggressively. But she needed new content to maintain her ranking. But then Bonnie announced another event: a human “petting zoo”. She would be tied up helplessly in a glass box, and people could do anything they liked to her while others watched. Some compared it to Marina Abramovic’s 1974 performance Rhythm 0, where the Serbian artist sat still before a table of 72 objects, including feathers, honey, a scalpel and a gun, which her audience could use on her. But Bonnie says she’d never heard of this, “and she gave them all these horrible sharp things — I was just going to have dildos and lube”. For OnlyFans the petting zoo was the limit: Bonnie was kicked off the site, cutting her income instantly from £1.5 million a month to zero. She quickly joined another platform, Fansly, where she has built up 30,000 subscribers. But she says OnlyFans then told her she could not upload her 1,000-men event, which she claims cost £100,000 to host, because the men’s consent forms don’t grant permission to other sites. So all her hard work is still in the can. The Andrew Tate podcast helped raise her profile, but also aligned her with a loathed misogynist who faces rape and human-trafficking charges, though he has denied acting unlawfully. So to keep relevant, to maintain her income, she is forced to create ever more extreme content. One option is to release a tape of her having anal sex, which, unusually for a porn star, she has never done. “That would probably get me £1 million.” (Lily Phillips is releasing hers too.) To feed online rage, she has just filmed a “sex education” lesson in a classroom with very young-looking OnlyFans creators dressed in school uniforms. All look nervous; none has ever had sex in public. The boys are flushed from taking Viagra. Bonnie talks on camera of these girls needing to be “stretched out” by men. She is adamant they’re all over 18 and are never forced to do anything that makes them uncomfortable. Nonetheless, I say, it feels like a shift from selling her own body to pimping out young people, who may not be as secure and mentally strong. I get the death stare. “I’m not their mum. I’m not there to guide them. I’m here to say, ‘Hey, this is a business opportunity.’ ” The youngsters are not paid but hope creating content with Bonnie will raise their OnlyFans ranking. But what, you wonder, will be their futures, now this material is online for ever? And what of hundreds of other girls — and boys — who will follow them into this rapacious industry? Or the millions who will view what Bonnie does as a template for their own sex lives? Posing for her Instagram feed @BONNIE_BLUE_XOX/INSTAGRAM A few days later when I ring Tia/Bonnie, she’s on a lilo in the south of France, planning her next move. She is far from Draycott and her parents’ relentless, decent toil. “Each day I wake up so excited. I can’t believe this is my life.” Yet no one believes she’s really happy. “They say to me, ‘You’re a suicide waiting to happen,’ ” she explains. Unlike Lily Phillips, who broke down after her 100-men gangbang, Bonnie insists you’ll never see her cry. But it feels like she’s painted herself into a corner: what will she have to endure to top her already extreme challenges? She’s stopped going out much, because she’s scared the barrage of online hate may manifest as real violence. With her toughness, drive, looks and engaging personality, Tia reminds me of the flinty young women who win The Apprentice. Given the right breaks she could have made it in business, say, or TV. Instead, she will always be Bonnie Blue, the Stakhanovite sex worker, the Ayn Rand of porn. 1,000 Men and Me: The Bonnie Blue Story is on Channel 4 on July 29
-
Bad Bunny x adidas Gazelle Indoor “Cabo Rojo” Releases July 26th https://sneakerbardetroit.com/bad-bunny-adidas-gazelle-wonder-clay/ Bad Bunny and adidas Originals are taking the Gazelle City Series global with the release of adidas Gazelle “Cabo Rojo” colorway. This release follows the Puerto Rico-only release of two colorways during Bad Bunny’s residency in San Juan earlier this year: “El Yunque” and “Santurce,” both of which are dedicated to important sites on the island. The release, which each of which of each release highlight important spots on the island. “El Yunque” depicts deep greens as an homage to the island’s famous rainforest, and “Santurce” spotlights bold orange to showcase the Puerto Rican capital’s arts scene. The “Cabo Rojo” colorway, on the other hand, makes its debut outside of Puerto Rico in a neon pink shade reminiscent of the region’s famous pink salt flats and natural beauty. Inspired by Bad Bunny’s appreciation of his island home, each of these Gazelle releases has artfully encapsulated aspects of Puerto Rican culture and geography with care, sincerity and a clear sense of pride. In the accompanying “Cabo Rojo” campaign, the Puerto Rican rapper is joined by some of the island’s most senior residents, with whom he shares his home. Bad Bunny adidas Gazelle Cabo Rojo Release Date The Bad Bunny x adidas Gazelle “Cabo Rojo” releases worldwide on July 26th at 10AM EST, with early signups launching on July 22nd on the CONFIRMED app. The “El Yunque” and “Santurce” colorways will remain Puerto Rico exclusives. Stay up to date with all upcoming sneaker releases from our Sneaker Release Dates page. Be sure to follow us on Twitter and Instagram. Bad Bunny x adidas Gazelle Indoor “Cabo Rojo” Color: Wonder Clay/Wonder Quartz-Ash Pink Style Code: JS5052 Release Date: July 26, 2025 Price: $140 UPDATE 7/22/25: Adidas has officially released information on the Bad Bunny adidas Gazelle “Cabo Rojo”, which will drop on July 26, 2025, and will retail for $140 USD. Pre-order is available through the CONFIRMED app, and the in-app lottery is currently open. The Cabo Rojo colorway takes inspiration from Cabo Rojo’s pink salt flats, and continues Bad Bunny’s theme of highlighting Puerto Rico’s natural wonders. It is the first global release in the Gazelle City Series, following the Puerto Rico exclusives “El Yunque” and “Santurce.”
-
- 16,141 replies
-
- governments
- laws of countries
-
(and 1 more)
Tagged with:
-
Scouting Noni Madueke An extensive profile on Arsenal’s newest winger: profiling his directness, strengths, tactical fit (LW/RW), self-belief, lingering questions, and what problems he solves for Arsenal https://billycarpenter.substack.com/p/scouting-noni-madueke Self-belief has another name. “You’re not gonna go on the pitch and play Messi, and in your head be like, ‘Oh, this guy’s so much better than me.’ You have to have a little bit of healthy delusion,” Noni Madueke told GQ. “When that delusion comes in, we’re calling it healthy delusion, but it’s probably extreme faith in your ability, I feel like that’s when you can really reach new heights.” Madueke’s journey to PSV at 16 often gets framed as a wild bet. He was asked about it in every interview I watched, to degrees he probably found tiring. But if you listen, he doesn’t flinch or overplay it as some triumphant origin story. “It wasn’t difficult … because I was clear in what I wanted,” he told The Guardian. “Football is football,” as he’s often said. He wasn’t making some cultural statement: he just wanted first-team football, quickly. The PSV connection was made during a youth tournament. Madueke was leading a Spurs team (😬) that lost (😏) to the Dutch side in the semis. He missed a penalty, but also scored. During the match, Madueke’s dad, Ifeanyi, was chatting with the father of Ian Maatsen, who was playing for PSV at the time. When Maatsen’s dad understood the Madueke curiosity about PSV had teeth, he walked to the coaches and told them to keep an eye on the teenager. Noni himself, meanwhile, was impressed by their technical and physical level, and saw PSV as a place where he could break into senior football quickly. In another case of football’s endless sliding doors, Madueke then signed for the Boeren — but Maatsen went to Chelsea, returning to London before the pair could play together. PSV hailed the signing of a “creative, physically strong left-footed midfielder.” Looking back on that time, Madueke’s tone is businesslike. “I always say to everybody… I didn't have an adaptation period. I didn't need to adjust,” said Madueke with a shrug. “I feel like I was just coming here for a job, to get the job done.” That clarity masked how hard it probably was: a London teenager dropping into Eindhoven (population 235,000), missing Nando’s, learning the language quickly and for a specific reason. “I didn't want anyone talking shit about me on the field,” he said with a grin. “Like, ‘I know exactly what you're saying!’” Source: Arsenal.com In interviews, you can pick up remnants of a few different places in Madueke’s personality. The most dominant is the kid from North London: lover of fashion, plainly ambitious, a self-described “showman,” smiling and enmeshed in culture. “When I go shopping, on the pitch, around my friends and family, I’m that type of person,” he said. “That is just my personality.” In another is a homebody, someone shaped by a close-knit family, faith, and Nigerian roots. “My parents both came to England when they were young, did school here and met here. They have good values and good morals. They try and be good people. They definitely imprinted that on me.” But there’s also something direct, pragmatic, and unbothered about him, perhaps influenced (or merely reinforced) by his time in a country where speaking plainly isn’t just appreciated, but culturally embedded. (PSV are Max Verstappen’s home club, remember.) His words are precise and flow in paragraphs, and he has no problem with matter-of-factness. Asked about a midseason move to Chelsea, he didn’t spin. You’ll see this disarming quality in his talks about his performances (“I wasn’t really doing that well,” he said about his first three months at PSV), his ambitions (“I was just thinking if I jump the queue I’ll be better than all my peers,” he said about the PSV move), and his self-image (“footballers should be encouraged not to have that robotic feel to them,” he said). He can be vibey in unexpected ways; Enzo Maresca said “he can do much more. The moment he starts to score or assist and is happy, he starts to drop a little bit.” Tina Fey once said that “authenticity is dangerous and expensive.” Last season, when Madueke arrived in Wolverhampton, he instagrammed “this place is shit” before deleting it and conveying his apologies. Then he dropped a hat-trick and went home. What he has done, over and over, is bet on himself. At 15, in a journey that led him through the academies of Crystal Palace and Tottenham Hotspur, and an offer from Manchester United, he said he just knew. “I thought it was impossible that I would not be a professional footballer,” he said. “I wouldn’t allow myself not to.” After that initial adjustment period, things clicked in Eindhoven. While there were regular interruptions for injury (which we’ll get to later), and his play definitely had some growing pains, his underlying statistics popped. Check the shots, carries, and take-ons he logged as a 19-year-old. Those performances earned him a move to Chelsea. After all, he was a living, breathing, talented footballer between the ages of 16 and 25, available between €0-€150m, so he fit their search criteria perfectly. It has not been easy. Despite arriving for a non-trivial sum of £29m, he initially had no designated space in the dressing room, and would change in the corridor. He had four coaches in his first 18 months, and the club kept signing winger after winger. When asked about the endless barrage of signings in his position, he gave a quote that may feel applicable today. “I believe in my ability,” he said. “We’ve got a great team full of great players who can play in different positions. It’s always good to have a team like that and on my part, I try to do my best and see what happens. Competition happens at top clubs all the time. It is what it is.” “It has been hard for him,” said his personal coach, Saul Isaksson-Hurst. “He proves himself to one manager, and then another one comes in and he has to start again. But he is not fazed by it.” “I have never met a more hard-working player than Noni,” he expanded later. “Lots of people have said other things, but he is so driven. We often go away for four, five days for intense training camps and I almost have to force him to have a day off because he just wants to train. He wants to be one of the best players in world football.” This Chelsea period has led to serious, linear improvement, regular starts, and (generally) good health. Despite all the options at Maresca’s disposal, Madueke stubbornly managed 27 league starts last year. Now he’s 23, has two-and-a-half Premier League seasons under his belt, has played in Europe, has seven caps for England, and still carries the self-belief that painted his early years. “I always had a mad love of the game,” he said. The kind that leads you to endlessly shoot alone against a wall, fly to Eindhoven to skip the queue, and walk into a new team already thinking about how to break it open. This mindset has now led him to make another bold decision: he left an improving side that, by Maresca’s own account, did not want him to go. It was time to bet on himself again. Source: Arsenal.com Now he joins Arsenal, who dearly need attacking fortifications, but where Bukayo Saka is entrenched as a starter. Without a locked-down starting role, the story is likely to have some twists and turns, and one thing is for sure: he’ll need more of that “healthy delusion.” The move triggered the grinding wheels of the Twitter Nonsense Machine, but let’s not give the idiots more of what they crave. Here we stand. Madueke is undeniably talented, yet hotly debated. Mikel Arteta has made the bold estimation that he can be a real solution to Arsenal’s attacking problems. What guided this decision? Was it wishful thinking, “healthy delusion,” or a brilliant bet on a budding superstar? For all his layers, Madueke’s mindset is simple. “Be yourself, he said. “And I’m sure that way people will warm to you.” 📖 Player overview ➡️ Physical qualities We’ll start, as we often do, with the physical. Now 23, Madueke never had an uphill climb to adjust to the senior game from a strength, speed, and balance perspective. He stands 6’0” and is lean but strong, and has added a little bit of bulk to his wiry frame since joining the league. My predominant mental image is of him receiving in the middle third, barging through a mini-duel, and dragging possession up the pitch with a carry. Contact has never particularly bothered him, going back to his early days at PSV. He has a fairly unique gait: he’s an upright runner, and his feet face outwards, often giving an impression of slight bowleggedness. As we’ve covered elsewhere, instant acceleration might be the most important physical quality to look for in a winger, and Madueke’s bursts off the mark are exceptional. He is explosive from a standstill and can gain the advantage on a defender in an instant. This helps him generate that crucial bit of separation, which he uses to either begin his power-carries or to get shots off. It’s also helpful for give-and-goes, when he dishes the ball and then disappears behind the defender’s back. His pace over longer distances is impressive, but more in tier 1B instead of 1A: he’s more Raphinha than Mbappé. He nonetheless can use his quick darts to run in behind, and defenders have trouble catching up from there. Assuredly, part of the appeal to Arteta is his potential to double up on some of Martinelli’s qualities as a runner. His agility, likewise, is awfully nice, but his more upright frame doesn’t enable that final tier of wiggly, sharp, direction-changing 1v1 nimbleness that you see from a Doku. Dribbles and carries are always intertwined, but the line between the two is especially blurry for Madueke: he’s bearing down on you, forcing reactions, “tilting” left and right, at speed. Outside of his instant acceleration, his most impressive quality is his strength and balance. He’s got a strong back, stronger shoulders, and is adept at the tight-space wrestling for leverage. Those who look to interrupt his carries usually leave empty-footed. For all his responsibility (lots of advanced touches, lots of carries into the penalty area, lots of take-ons), he only gets dispossessed 1.11 times per 90. He doesn’t even draw a lot of fouls; he often gets bumped and keeps going. I like that, for the record, because I’m grumpy about how interrupted Arsenal games are (and how randomness gets a higher weight in the game’s final equation, as a result). His level of defensive intensity previously had a lot of, shall we say, variance to it. It fluctuated more at PSV, where Roger Schmidt helped improve his defensive play, but it was especially true when he joined the league. He could be a real passenger. The charitable explanation is that he was perhaps managing himself in fear of the injury setbacks he’d experienced previously. The modern game is increasingly cruel to such types, and Chelsea had too many of them to sustain. Especially in the last year, Madueke has stepped up his out-of-possession game considerably. This was him just a few weeks ago at the Club World Cup. He now actually works at the exact pace I’d like a winger to, at least: he blocks lanes, snaps into action with ferocity when the time comes, and is greedy about turning ball-wins into transitions; but if the ball is on the other side of the pitch, he doesn’t do anything performative. He visibly walks and rests his legs (he’s one of the highest walkers in the league). When closing down, he’s still missing a few details with angles and reactions, but his out-of-possession work is certainly on the up, and potentially transforming into a real strength. Arteta would still like him to kick it up a final notch, and will likely use playtime as the dangling carrot. His attacking intensity is nice. He goes hard, makes runs, and can carry again and again with little dip in quality. 📖 Statistical background You’ll see there are some pretty clear takeaways from his statistical profile: Madueke took 3.54 shots per 90, which is the highest out of all wingers in the league. He averaged the most progressive carries out of players with more than 20+ 90s. He is the best player at turning carries into shots in the league. His pure take-on (i.e. dribbling) stats are in the 75th-84th percentile of wingers, which matches the eye test: good, not perfect. His playmaking stats (key passes, passes into the pen) range from below-average to average. He underperformed his xG fairly significantly last year. His raw defensive stats look lower, but are nothing to be concerned about, considering the possession Chelsea had. All the counting numbers are higher than Martinelli, for example. Next, let’s compare him to some possible targets, and throw in Saka and Martinelli for reference. (The first takeaway is that Bradley Barcola and Bukayo Saka are quite good.) Let’s review Madueke in that sample: Fairly high in defensive actions. Fairly low on aerial duels. The most “successful attacking actions per 90.” The second-most shots per 90 (3.0), after Eze’s 3.1. The third-highest crosses per 90 in the sample, after only … Martinelli and Saka. The second-most touches in the box, after Barcola. The most progressive runs per 90, defined as “one player attempting to draw the team significantly closer to the opponent goal.” There are parameters to that, but we don’t need to get into that now. He’s also lower in this sample when it comes to playmaking: assists, through-balls, passes into the penalty area. For context: I don’t typically include Wyscout’s xG and xA models because I don’t find them to be the most reliable. Kim from The Transfer Flow (subscribe!) offers this radar. I have no choice but to also include Scott from CannonStats’ graph on GPA added through carrying and dribbling. (Subscribe there, too.) He has the most progressive carries out of anyone with 20+ 90s in Europe. The top-5 on total progressive carries are as follows: Jeremy Doku (Manchester City): 213 Lamine Yamal (Barcelona): 181 Vini Jr (Real Madrid): 169 Noni Madueke (Chelsea): 154 Mo Salah (Liverpool): 154 Onward we go. 🏋🏽♂️ Role & playing experience From an adjustment and tactical perspective, Chelsea are one of the more comparable sides to Arsenal in the world. Enzo Maresca, another Pep disciple, runs a high-possession, high-pressing scheme that is based on a fairly rigid occupation of the standard lanes. In practice, it’s slightly more stable, less defensively taxing, and with a higher transitional threat than Arsenal last year. Thanks to that philosophy, as well as the Premier League tax, it’s probably the single cleanest preparation for joining Arsenal other than Manchester City. In his career, Madueke came up as more of a flexible attacker, but has since found his home as a carrying wide winger, largely deployed on the right. There’s nothing too complicated about how he’s used. He’s generally the one holding width in a 3-2-5 attacking shape, as you can perhaps see in the shadows here. He was increasingly used on the left down the stretch last year, with 5 starts there after April. We’ll get into the intricacies of that (how he plays differently from side to side) a little bit later. In the press, he usually has similar responsibilities to Arsenal wingers, covering wide full-backs, watching centre-backs, and jumping up on triggers. As time has gone on, he’s been one of the more visibly active Chelsea pressers, looking to make a difference there. He tends to roam a bit more with England. His work there offers a similar takeaway to Zubimendi’s work with Spain, in which you see the outlines of wider responsibilities than they take up for their club. I’ll never decry lower-stakes international games again. The attacking triangle here may interest you. As far as his touches go, you’ll see how many of them are over there near the touchline. Source: Opta From that spot, he shouldered a lot of responsibility for Chelsea: leading the team in progressive carries, progressive carry distance, and carries into the penalty area. In fact, his carries into the pen (4.12 per 90) were also the highest in the league of any player with 20+ 90s under their belt; more than Salah, Saka, whoever. Only Doku was higher in a practical sense, but played fewer minutes. That is a specific metric I always have my eye on with Arsenal. Throughout the years, I’ve seen a particular correlation to underlying team success, which makes sense: if you successfully carry into the box, that means you’re penetrating the blocks that typically bedevil our squad. For reference: When Arsenal had >10 carries into the pen last year, we were 9-0-0 When Arsenal had <5 carries into the pen last year, we were 0-5-0 When going through my winger report, that was one of the real eye-openers: just how few players are capable of accepting the ball in wide spots like that, against Premier League defenders, and manufacturing a serious threat on their own. That group basically includes #1 (Barcola), #3 (Nico Williams), #7 (Rafael Leão), and likely #9 (Antoine Semenyo). The rest (think Rodrygo, Eze, Xavi Simons, Rogers, etc) either prefer to play centrally, or require some playmates to work their way out of wide areas. Gittens can do it, but is young and in development. Others (Gordon, Mbeumo, etc) are solid but not overwhelming threats in typical 1v1s. It’s a smaller cadre than one may assume. 🧠 Game temperament Madueke wants the ball. His game temperament is direct and repetitive, and often one-track-minded: he wants to go at defenders over and over again. That makes him a high-responsibility outlet in attack, and was especially prevalent when Chelsea were struggling to create something, or were clunky in build-up. He doesn’t hesitate to shoot, and works to get off efforts as quickly as possible. But that single-mindedness can be a double-edged sword: he doesn’t connect with teammates as often as he could, which leads to dribbles into traffic or missed combinations. His approach is different from what we’ve seen with that Saka/Ødegaard/White triangle. The exception is 1-2s. It’s also visible in how much he wants responsibility. He demands the ball, famously fights for penalties (5/5 in his senior career so far), and had no issues stepping up in high-pressure moments (like his extra-time pen against Crystal Palace). He also looks good when stepping up for England, showing no signs of nerves or hesitation. If teammates don’t find him when he’s in space, he’ll let them know with a frustrated gesture or throw of the arms, and can take a few seconds to “reset” mentally. Here’s him punting it in frustration after a cross is cleared, up 4-2. Out of possession, Madueke’s level of commitment has risen. Mauricio Pochettino alluded to a shift in mindset when he said Madueke finally “realised what we expect from him,” noting that his work rate and commitment became “the platform” for success. He tracks much more aggressively, closes down with more urgency, and generally doesn’t fade in and out of games defensively like he used to. He’s not a high-volume tackler (1.1 tackles, 0.4 interceptions per 90), and isn’t perfectly natural with angles and coverage, but compared well against his Chelsea cohort. There’s a little bit of smoke from managers with regard to his level of training application. How much stock you put into that is up to you; I tend to hand-wave that stuff away, giving young players room to grow and change, but perhaps too confidently at times. I can’t really imagine him improving this much without real focus during the week. He’s been well-served by his variety of experiences in modern, positional attacking tactics. Typically speaking, I’d like my developmental defenders to, pardon me, “eat shit” for a year or two: grinding out tackles in a back-and-forth Championship side, for example, to get as many reps as possible; a defender on a more dominant, “high-end” side may only get 1-2 chances at a direct intervention per match. Alternatively, it’s nice to get an attacker on a team with more field-tilt: you can really see what they look like when denied space. For Madueke, this has led to a pretty flexible, energetic mind, and he looks good when rotating around the front (even if he’s often best used on the touchline). That budding flexibility points to a good understanding of team tactics. Generally speaking, his decision-making can lack some nuance, which can lead to frustrating moments; those frustrating moments can multiply, because he’s willing to keep going again and again. Defensively, he doesn’t pick up unnecessary cards: 3 yellows last season, mostly soft ones, and zero reds in his career. As a communicator, he’s not overly vocal, but communicative enough. He developed a good on-field rapport with Cole Palmer; they frequently exchange quick signals or eye contact when setting up a one-two. Being English and having come through an academy system, Madueke is well-versed in comparable environments and has made a lot of friends, and has character references in Saka, Rice, Lewis-Skelly, Timber, and some of Arteta’s friends (namely, Poch). As he gains seniority, he may become more vocal, but even if not, his main value is as a creative spark. One aspect of communication is how predictable/unpredictable one is. To teammates, he’s becoming predictable in a positive way (they know his tendencies), which helps the team’s coordination. To opponents, it’s difficult to know whether he’s going inside or outside. If he refines his passing game, providing the holy trinity of dribbling, playmaking, and shooting, he’ll be a tougher cover. Bottom line: Madueke plays with a temperamental directness. He wants to be the difference-maker, and is starting to understand the full scope of what that means: on and off the ball, for 90 minutes. His attacking mindset is fearless and energetic, but not overly associative. His defensive buy-in and emotional control are catching up, and he can definitely get frustrated when things aren’t going his way. He’s still refining the balance between directness and decision-making, but the outlines, production, and playing charisma are there. 🧾 Showing my work + priors For this piece, I wanted to get a clearer sense of Madueke’s current development: not just what he could be, or what he showed flashes of in Eindhoven. So I mainly went through his Chelsea minutes, and specifically tried to look at him against mid-blocks and low-blocks. I’d watched him a few times already at PSV. So I speed-ran his performances against Brentford (2x), Manchester City, Real Madrid (friendly), Arsenal, Everton, Liverpool, Manchester United, West Ham, Aston Villa, Palmeiras, France (U21), Andorra, Greece, and Finland. I also pulled a 230-clip playlist covering his dribbles, duels, losses, shots, and off-ball movement. I also grabbed a couple all-action comps from PSV matches. As far as priors go: he was #19 in my Sakanelli score two-and-a-half years ago when he was with PSV, and was on the radar of any stats geek since about that time. My initial reaction to reports of links to him: From there: Basically: While I liked him as a player, I didn’t initially consider him too closely for this vacancy before the reports started swirling. This is partially because there are so many fucking players. But it’s also because I thought he’d be expensive, he plays right-wing, and I was a bit spooked by the injury history. As always, my thoughts are not definitive; if you appeal to authority, don’t appeal to me. But here’s what I’ve found. 📄 Scouting report 👉 1v1s, dribbling, and carrying Source for this and those to follow: Wyscout The first thing to look at is wide isolation situations, and whether the player can be dangerous when alone, how much help they need, and whether they’re able to unbalance defenders with pace, feints, and tight control. Power-carries are the standout part of Madueke’s game. When he has space ahead of him, he drives forward aggressively, turning routine possessions into big territory gains. If he receives the ball near midfield, he immediately attacks defenders, forcing them into uncomfortable backpedaling. His pace and strength mean defenders either concede space or get lungy. Statistically, he’s among the league leaders in progressive runs per game, as you’ve seen all over the place. Another graph from Scott, encompassing his whole Chelsea career: Source: CannonStats Here’s what that looks like in practice. You’ll see how this stems from two big strengths: the ability to accelerate immediately, and the ability to carry a ball at pace. It’s often pretty ambitious. Though he can be pretty rambunctious with his carrying, he doesn’t often lose the ball low, while being happy to take on players in locations like this: In a memorable, explosive Dutch Super Cup performance, he had a brace, opening the scoring within two minutes by driving at Lisandro and then whipping a shot past Timber (who he’s friends with). More commonly, it looks like this. He wants to keep his body ramrod-straight while driving at the defender immediately, before the shape is set. He can go outside or inside with his shot, but can be a little predictable with the cut-in: there are a good amount of blocked chances that look like that one. He’s not uncomfortable with navigating double teams, and has close control and little bursts of pace that can turn into shots in almost any situation. He also generated 25 shots and 2 goals with his right, so defenders still have to respect both sides. When shifting to his right, his primary threat is the cutback. Most of his strengths and weaknesses as an attacker are shown here. He’s able to drive around a super-fast Premier League defender, then cuts across his body to gain leverage and win high ground. But he also holds onto the ball a bit long, and doesn’t always display the best timing for association. He can be seen driving into fairly hopeless situations. In transitional moments, his quality on the ball is especially strong. He’s able to reliably generate “free” yardage when receiving almost anywhere, and I’ve seen improvement at some of his forward passing in those situations. As you can see in the chart below, his primary joy is achieve by lining up the left-back and creating a shot for himself. In tighter spaces, he has good control, hand-checks, and leverage, and isn’t pushed off the ball easily. If we are to say that many of Gyökeres’ opportunities look similar, it must be said that Madueke’s do too. Here’s a goal he threaded through a crowded box. Again, he drives down at the defender, forces them to backpedal, keeps his body straight, generates a touch of separation, and then shoots. This isn’t really about being unpredictable with which way he’s going; it’s more about masking the timing of when he’s going to cut in and shoot. Because that touch comes at interesting times, and his burst to reclaim and hit the ball is so fast, he can reliably use it to get shots off, even if defenders know that’s what he wants to do. But more often, you’ll see it look like this, with a shot that is easily telegraphed to the keeper. We’ll get into some of the shooting mechanics later. He doesn’t have a lot of “dangerous” (i.e. low) losses, but he can feel wasteful up top at times; yes, there is a downside to endlessly trying shit. Here he’s going into a 1v4: His frustrating periods aren’t because he loses confidence, but because he doesn’t. He just keeps going with the exact same mindset, even if he’s having trouble gaining an advantage. I haven’t seen many full-backs really be able to lock him down, and his cold spells often feel situational. Out left, he can also feel a little preordained in his moves, as he really prefers to get to the byline. But again, it’s with a move that full-backs just can’t really keep up with. Look how much separation he generates from Mazraoui in two seconds. His inside cuts, using slower-speed dribbles, don’t feel quite as threatening, for obvious reasons. But when he gets up a head of steam on the carry, it’s surprising how natural it feels. This didn’t feel aberrational. This moment here shows why it’s difficult to stop him from getting his shots. He stops the moment, lines up the defender, and can “shift and rip” to either side, and in an instant (which is Semenyo’s superpower). It’s tough to defend. 👉 Breaking down his 1v1s, piece by piece I have more notes. To try and put a bow on this section, we can look at a few different aspects of a 1v1 and break them down piece by piece, keeping in mind comparisons to players like Doku, Saka, Yamal, and Raphinha: Carrying control and speed: Yeah. Noni is elite here. He has tight control of the ball at pace and drives at defenders, forcing backpedals and engaging on his own terms. While doing so, he’s good at lining up defenders and keeping his intentions obscured. He’s got this quality on both sides and big-dog energy. Hips, quick feet, and changes of direction: This is where Doku and Yamal types have him beat. He’s a little more upright; they can kinda separate the movement of their shoulders and hips to be effectively unreadable. Combined with quicker touches and lighter steps, it’s a tough package to beat. Close control/balance: He doesn’t struggle to keep the ball in congested spaces, or when defenders of all types are leaning on him. Even though he plays tall, it’s not easy to get leverage on him, and he can shoulder-barge his way past virtually any full-back. When he loses the ball, it’s because of overambition, but not because of fundamentally loose touches. Economy of action: This is where he struggled upon joining Chelsea, and where he’s making his most noticeable improvements. The Premier League is unkind to those who mess around on the ball, and some of his overcomplicated flair worked better in the Eredivisie than it does in England. He’s starting to simplify his actions and commit to the stuff that works, and it’s paying dividends. Reading triggers: The best dribblers are subtly more reactive than proactive, monitoring their opponents for shifts of weight and heavy steps and acting accordingly. Madueke likes controlling the speed of the 1v1, but is also very proactive: deciding what to do and doing it. Inside/outside: He has successfully polished the moves he uses for going inside and outside. He still has a preferred Thing (drive, slow down, cut inside, shoot), but varies it up enough, and is comfortable enough, to threaten both directions. There’s still another level of development possible here. Tempo control: It shouldn’t necessarily be like this, but Saka is a secondary tempo controller of this Arsenal team: he performed a duty that should have been performed by the midfield, speeding things up and slowing things down as the game requires. Madueke is near-ideal cover for Saka’s gravity (drawing 1v2s, etc), but not necessarily for the attacking controller quality: he just wants goals. The hope is that Zubimendi provides that anyway, and that responsibility is offloaded from players who should only be thinking about goals. Timing of dribbles: He excels at high speeds and is at his best, and most unique, when driving at a defender at full beans. He’s also pretty good when slowing things down to a halt, and then picking his moment to burst away; even if his move is somewhat predictable, the timing of it isn’t, and he can generate serious separation in a second. He doesn’t quite have the “middle gears” sorted. “Exit” quality: Once it’s time to take the touch away from the defender, his stop-start acceleration is top-tier. The ball is close, close, close, close, then, bam: it’s pushed into space, and the full-back can seldom match his pace as he tracks it down. Repetition: The raw quality and energy of his carries and dribbles seldom drop during the course of a match. Decision-making: Saka does the “right” thing every time: inside, outside, direct take-on, cross, give-and-go, cutback, shot, whatever. This is helped because he’s often doing subtle scans along the way to survey his options. Madueke is going to do the most direct thing almost every time, and is more ‘head-down,’ temperamentally. When it doesn’t go right, it can look erratic, as frustrated Chelsea fans can tell you. On to the off-ball. 👉 Movement / off-ball runs My mental image of Madueke is that he’s always eager to receive the ball to his feet; like the best kid on a youth team, that mindset can have an inverse relationship to their willingness to make aggressive, in-behind runs, as that means running away from the ball they covet. Turns out that was overly simplistic. Watching this, he’s a real threat. His pace lets him consistently attack the spaces between full-backs and center-backs, bending runs to slip through defensive lines. 👉 Shoulder runs He has a specific run that works best: blindside shoulder runs on the full-back. We learned this the hard way, when he scored his first Premier League goal by unsheathing some Zinchenko Kryptonite: Here it is at full speed (with a pause). He shows sharp instincts on these, timing runs to stay onside and accelerating at just the right moment. You can see him storming through the middle on this one, matching Wissa stride-for-stride. You can see him coming alive on the bottom here, showing real pace. But yeah, the most threatening kind of run he does is on the full-back’s shoulder. Enzo hit him on a few balls over the top like this, and you can hopefully picture Zubimendi doing the same. Here, he zagged between the FB/CB gap. This has real utility for Arsenal: this is the exact kind of run that can break apart mid-blocks, and which Arsenal are too light on. It looks especially pronounced in situations with weaker defenders, or at least weaker defensive shapes. He has some potential as a flat track bully against weaker sides, and can be really greedy as a countering runner against high lines, as he was late in this City friendly I watched. 👉 Back-post runs This is what you’d like to see more of. He has the tools: physicality, strong shoulders, immediate burst of pace. He even has some height and length to help him with popped crosses. And, truth be told, he does snap alive in quick, harried moments after ball-wins that might result in goals. But in practice, he’s just not there quite enough. I think this is a “wait and see” attribute. Right now, he’s a little too far away from the action, but as time goes on, I could see him getting a better grasp. There are a lot of goals on offer by doing those Brennan Johnson-style tap-ins. 👉 1-2s We’ll get into his general linkup and association play in a bit, and it’s not all that effusive. But one particularly refined part of his game is quick 1-2s. It’s a pretty simple, u10 move that works again and again. He gives up the ball, and while the full-back’s eyes track the reception, he disappears in the blindside over their shoulder and sprints in behind. Fun fact after watching that assist: For Chelsea, Madueke had 13 shot assists to Palmer, resulting in 0 goals. For England, Madueke had 2 shot assists to Kane, resulting in 2 goals. This is a sustainable advantage for him because his stop-start pace is so good. He gets a step and then never cedes ground from there. Tomiyasu fully sniffed this out and still didn’t stop it: Overall, Madueke can be pretty greedy with his runs and has a particularly nice feel for blindside movements and 1-2s. His wide starting position often gives him a head of steam, and full-backs struggle to match his immediate pace, which is especially useful against the compact blocks that have historically frustrated Arsenal. He could be more aggressive attacking cut-backs and making far-post runs when the ball is on the opposite wing; I just haven’t seen much of it from him at LW. He could also do these runs more, period. The tools are there, but it’s still a work in progress. The main tool (running behind the full-back) is real, and it’s excellent. 👉 Passing and receiving Madueke isn’t a particularly dangerous passer right now. He’s not the most visionary, and his execution on crosses, especially traditional wide deliveries, tends to be pretty inconsistent. But that could change. There’s nuance already: his cutbacks with his right foot and crosses from the left side carry a threat and have caused problems for opponents. And he can hit some fun ones to runners ahead when carrying. His best attribute is receiving and shielding the ball under pressure. He’s always been able to use “body as barrier” and withstand contact, and he’s getting better at being more aggressive with his initial moves. It’s hard to recall seeing any particularly costly giveaways or cheap turnovers in tight spots. So, the standard, rondo-style passing is not an issue. But let’s dig into the other stuff. 👉 Big crosses Madueke has a decent ball-strike in him, and has taken a few odd corners here and there in his career, but the footage of his crosses isn’t the most impressive viewing. When delivering traditional, lofted crosses from deeper positions, they can float a bit. When it goes well, it looks fairly familiar. But too often, there’s inconsistent technique on these. As far as I can tell, here’s why: too often, he is not committing with his whole body, stabbing at it instead of really driving it, leaning a little too far back, and not getting his top half generating enough torque all the way through. To contrast that, here’s a freeze-frame of a Saka assist to Havertz. You can see how demonstrative his follow-through is: the swivel of his top half is doing a lot of the work. His genius is not in doing this; it’s in doing this every. single. time. With the other foot, here’s Rice. It’s further away, but you can see how much lean, force, and upper-body twist it requires to get the whip and power he wants. Madueke is technically capable of this. He just needs to be more consistent. There are other types of crosses available to him. Often, it looks like this, where he’s operating at a serious pace and then quickly fizzing it in. The ball itself is good, but he’s also not actively scanning the periphery, and Chelsea don’t have the most impressive runners for these, so the delivery isn’t always fully in sync with the placement of the attackers. With his right, he can offer these pop crosses at interesting times, and it looks like there may be some potential there. Similarly, on the left, he can throw those into the mixer that can threaten, and there is serious potential here considering how often he can get to the byline: it’s just very easy for him, and he can hit these left-footed offerings in full stride. In fact, his passing into the box seemed much more threatening (and often first-touch) whenever he played on the left. This must be a big part of what Arsenal see. Basically: traditional high crosses from wide, deep areas aren’t a strong aspect of his game yet. It could improve, but there’s a dropoff from Saka. When he’s on the left and driving at the byline, everything seems pretty promising. 👉 Cutbacks, through-balls, and low crosses This is Madueke’s strongest type of cross, and a critical part of his attacking effectiveness. After beating defenders one-on-one near the byline, he frequently opts for drilled, low balls across the face of goal, or cutbacks to arriving teammates. Again, by eye test, this is where he is cooking on the left. Average-speed full-backs just can’t keep up. This is not a replay of a clip from earlier. This, too, is not a replay: it’s another one from the same game. There are glimmers like this, when he came on late for ESR in a U21 game against a France team that had gone unbeaten in fourteen straight. He had a goal and two assists, and was named Man of the Match. This next one was after long carry, which the defender had a long time to get ready. Considering that advantage, it’s impressive he got a cross off. But there are a lot of these that get rescued by the keeper. There’s also, it should be said, some random shit. 👉 Long-balls and switches Long balls and diagonal switches are fairly peripheral in Madueke’s game, at least in my viewing. He rarely attempts ambitious, long-distance passes or diagonal balls to switch the point of attack. He either goes at the defender, or pulls it back and recycles. His vision for these longer-range passes can be limited, partly by a wide positional orientation on the wing, and partly by instinctual tendencies to progress the ball through dribbling or close combinations. 👉 Link-up Madueke shows some inconsistency in short, quick link-up play, with flourishes of genius. His transitional carries can garner a lot of attention, opening up space for others. He executes effective one-twos around the box, tapping and running behind with serious immediacy, and shows improving judgement in deciding between passing versus dribbling. His combination play with teammates has improved, and he’s always secure in standard build-up sequences. When carrying with runners ahead, his forward passing has flashes of real quality. Hey, here’s him hitting a similar one to Kai. And another one, to Gallagher. Otherwise, he feels fairly underbaked at playing his teammates in. The timing and touch often seem a bit off, for now. 👉 Receiving under pressure, shielding, drawing pressure I consider Madueke a good receiver and shielder of the ball. All over the pitch, actually. His body is usually open, he leaves himself options, and he’s strong and unbothered. He can fight off challenges in bouncy moments. Saw him win similar battles with Kerkez. He can play a more floating role for the national team (both in u21, and now for Tuchel), and he looks plenty comfortable when occupying different zones. He turned-and-burned here for a goal in a romp. He looked like a bully in this one. The only real moments of insecurity are more advanced stuff like this; there can be oddball moments at times. 👉 Positioning, shooting & ball-striking One thing Madueke does consistently well is get himself into the box. His touch volume there is elite (96th percentile among wingers) and it comes from both dribbling and smart movement. He starts on the touchline but is not content to stay there. He wants to drive inside, link play around the edge of the area if needed, and turn the touch into a goal. He is capable of real power. Most of his shots are self-generated. As we’ve covered, he’s very good at the quick cut-inside-and-shoot move on his left, or a little shimmy to shift it and whip it right-footed: aiming for the roof of the net. The fact that he can go both ways gives him just enough unpredictability to get that foot of separation, and when he’s decisive, the shot’s already off before the defender can react. That quick release, with minimal backlift, is one of his better traits. He’ll catch keepers cold if he catches the strike cleanly. One challenge: he doesn’t get on the end of enough teammate-created chances for my liking. Not a lot of tap-ins, in other words. He’s got the snap reaction time and frame to get to bouncing balls first, even on, yes, set plays. He has poacher physical qualities (long legs, box presence, quick reactions) but not poacher results. His shot volume is extremely strong, which again tells you he’s getting into good areas. He tends to hit the target at a good clip. He hasn’t quite figured out how to reliably generate controlled violence with his hits; it can sometimes feel like a choice between over-tameness and wild power. Some of that could be fatigue: he was an xG overperformer the year before, and had more bangers in the Netherlands, but he’s carrying more workload now, especially with defensive responsibilities and high carry volume, so by the time he gets to the shot, it’s not always clean. Another aspect is the mechanics. He sometimes leans back on contact, kind of over-wrapping it, which can sap power. This is another, where he takes kind of a wild swing at it. He’s never scored a Premier League goal from outside the box, and doesn’t attempt many. The fact that he can take so many shots, without resorting to the long, spurious ones, is promising. Nonetheless, he has the technical base to hit it well. If he starts striking through the ball with more reliable mechanics, I think there are a few more goals in there, with both feet. He’s already doing the hard part: creating space, getting into the box, and generating xG. When his strikes are fundamental, and he has his legs under him, he’s capable of big moments. Here’s a Yamal goal from when Yamal was probably 13 or something. He’s a willing penalty taker, of course. He’s never missed a competitive one in his life, usually going left. Across senior levels, WhoScored has him with 19 goals with his left, 6 with his right, and two more with his head. 👉 Out-of-possession Madueke’s out-of-possession work is improving, and maybe even turning into a real strength. 👉 Defensive intensity I’ll start with what I don’t like: if a ball is lost and he’s frustrated by what led to it, whether a missed pass or unexpected bounce, he can take a couple seconds to regroup before running after the play. If it’s a standard, chaotic situation, he reacts quickly and physically. He has long legs that can block passing lanes and stop things from happening. I love these “Inside Training” handicam videos because they give you the feeling of being there, and reinforce how violently athletic “slow” Premier Leaguers like Christian Nørgaard are. This isn’t a particularly exciting clip, but look how many steps and adjustments Nørgaard makes on the balls of his feet in the matter of a couple of seconds. That’s what it takes. Madueke is getting a lot more active and physical. You’ll see all his strengths, and a bit of remaining development there: long legs, quick bursts, repeat intensity, pure strength. But he’s also over-committing to angles a bit. I don’t mind a gambler if your overall press is sound. 👉 Pressing In the press, he’s become a pretty high-effort player, and he’ll track opposing wingers or wing-backs all the way to his own corner flag. He doesn’t cheat forward like a Leão. He helps everywhere, and wants to turn wins into chances. I don’t see him often missing assignments or being late on jumps. He looks alert and active. When the ball isn’t near him, he still walks, and statistically, he’s one of the highest walkers in the league. But when it’s time to act, he goes hard. He’s physical and aggressive, and can really dispossess someone in a duel. He’s a physical mismatch for most full-backs and many midfielders. He can still take poor angles when looking to tackle: too aggressive, leaving escape routes open. But the application is largely there, and the physicality definitely is. 👉 Aerials In the air, he doesn’t offer much. He’s about 6’0”, so the frame is there, but with just 11 aerial wins at a 36.7% success rate, he’s not a real factor as an outlet. He can jump, but the timing and commitment aren’t ideal. I do think he has some potential on bouncing balls and rebounds in the box, and he’s shown that about twice. 👉 Counterpressing Here’s one of his most exciting traits: he’s greedy about turning ball-wins into transitions. There are a lot of freeze-frames like the below. Here, Madueke, Gallagher, and the wider Chelsea press have won the ball. Before Palmer has tracked it down, Madueke is already at a sprint. His reactions to these, smelling goals, are great. Here’s the full clip. If his reactions were a step or two later, he wouldn’t have been in position to score. Make your own luck and all that. This next one feels pretty similar, but a loose ball caroms through the middle on a press win. Everybody is fairly static, but Madueke is doing a diagonal sprint through the channel to score. Overall, it feels like he understands the levels required in the Premier League, and will hopefully find another rung as he competes for time. He seems very growth-minded in this area, and not quite at his final potential. 🚑 Injuries and Availability Madueke has had a number of injuries in his young career, mostly muscular. The 2021/22 season was a particularly rough one. He suffered four separate muscle injuries (mostly hamstring issues) that kept him out for around 154 days and caused him to miss 33 games for PSV. It disrupted his momentum: he’d return from one strain, only to pick up another a few weeks later. This has improved, and I’ve been urged calma on this by people smarter than I. It’s not uncommon for younger players making the jump to the highest level, with bodies that are changing rapidly, to face periods like this. They pick up knocks, don’t get proper breaks, and have no time to strengthen during the season. You really only get a read on their durability after a full summer, and many do put those tougher stretches (heh, heh) behind them. Young players also learn how to take care of their bodies better. I think that’s been the case with Dembélé. We also must admit that clubs work with more information than we do. They’ve got medicals, data, specifics, and there’s only so much we can say from our vantage point. Still, I’d feel a lot better if the hamstring hadn’t flared up again this spring. More than that, this isn’t just a “can he stay healthy?” bet. It’s a Calafiori-style risk: you’re not just asking a player with a flagged history to stay healthy; you’re asking him to step into a more intense, demanding system while making a fairly pricy wager on his body meeting the task at hand. This hurts to type: he’s started and completed only 11 league games in his senior career. Saka, still 23, has completed 120. He’s entering his physical prime; especially for a dribbler, those aged 22-25 years are when players hit their stride. A glass-half-full-type would say “his miles are low,” and there are limits to my information. But from where I’m sitting, this injury risk feels pretty significant. 🤔 Positions, positions Madueke was England’s Man of the Match against Andorra, with Tuchel singling him out for praise as probably “the most dangerous, the most active” player, and “one of the few who met expectations.” Interestingly, he played both flanks: once Eze came on for Palmer, Madueke switched from left-wing to the right. His thoughts: Even more interestingly, in that national team context, he’s already talked about how he sees himself in relation to a certain right-winger: Let’s sketch it out. We’ll start on the right. Here’s an example XI with Saka out. (I put in Gyökeres because I wanted to see what that looked like, too.) Right-wing is still Madueke’s most natural habitat. He’s an elite ball carrier from that side, with a mix of stop-start rhythm and burst that lets him drive deep at will before chopping inside. Going right, he’s got two main weapons: the right-footed rocket aimed at the roof of the net, and the cutback across the face once he pulls defenders with him. Going left, he looks to shoot, and does so in great volume. His crosses when he cuts in can float or be inconsistent, and the final ball has been pretty messy, but some of those are tidy, and he’s still one of the rare wide players who can manufacture danger on his own without needing a combination to get out of the cul-de-sac. As we covered earlier, that’s a shorter list than we may think. To the left. We may see more of this. It’s a slightly different version of Madueke, and a more intriguing one than I expected. He doesn’t invert as much, and can’t lean on that nice cut-in ripped shot, but he can feel higher-octane. He’s still a top-tier carrier, maybe even more direct. He can hold width, drive the line, and attack the box at full tilt, tilting his hips one way before bursting the other, and finishing across goal with his right. He doesn’t need a lot of help to do this, which is helpful, because a player like Lewis-Skelly isn’t going to offer as many overlaps as White. Originally doubtful, I now expect him to get a real shot at minutes here; he might be more natural than Martinelli at the widest incarnation of this role. That width, in turn, clears interior space for others. You don’t need Rice stationed out by the corner flag, which doesn’t suit him, and it gives Calafiori or Lewis-Skelly a cleaner inside pocket to work from. Remember the Lewis-Skelly goal against City? Remember this? When Madueke has it out wide, it could look like this: half-space room for Lewis-Skelly, Calafiori, and Rice to play with, the ability to drive to the byline, and the box occupied by Rice on cleanup duty, Gyökeres doing striker darts, Saka cleaning up the far-post, and Ødegaard crashing the Ø-zone. The only issue here is the lack of an aerial threat on higher crosses. We’ll have to think about occupying the box on Saka crosses, as well. With Madueke on the left and Rice at LCM, you're probably asking Rice to arrive at the penalty spot and Madueke to be the far-post threat (where he’s still pretty raw). I wouldn’t necessarily want Madueke to be drawing up too many first-touch chances for his right foot in the middle. With Martinelli, there’s more comfort in letting him arrive late and central: he’s got a better knack (and foot) for those narrow-angled finishes or poke-ins. So it’s less about who’s better and more about what kind of threat you want: constant width and directness from Madueke, or the box-crashing of Martinelli. In other words, if Madueke is at LW, he’d be “Player C.” I’m trying to think of more creative uses of him, but it feels forced. I guess he could be an emergency option at striker. He’s got the instincts to pop up centrally, and I could potentially see him operating as a second forward as he gets older, maybe in an Inter-style setup. I’ve always had that half-joke about flipping wingers into wingbacks against low blocks (Martinelli as a surprise RWB, a Minteh-type at LWB), but I wouldn’t really want Madueke doing shuttle runs wide. I don’t think Arsenal would shell out this kind of fee for Madueke if they didn’t see real potential at LW. But you don’t buy a specific position, you buy a suite of characteristics that you can find useful for 4-5 years, regardless of what may change in your tactical intentions: think Timber LB/RCB/RB, Havertz LCM/ST, Rice 6/8, Merino LCM/RCM/ST, White RCB/RB, Kiwior tried in four different roles, the list goes on. Nobody wins anything by guessing their first or last one. You simply want players you can trust to do the job, and can do more than one. Finding someone who can dominate 1v1s from the touchline is rare. Finding one who can probably do it from both wings is quite useful. 📁 Tactical updates In January, I wrote What’s the Difference?, which was a deep-dive into the respective tactical identities of Liverpool and Arsenal at the time. There was a lot of Salah and Circumstance involved in how the title race played out, but it was also worth a moment to look at things critically and see what we could learn. The biggest item of curiosity: Arsenal complain about not having space to attack. Liverpool had fewer problems finding it. Why is that? Here’s a TL;DR of a few tactical differences that may have played into Liverpool’s advantage: Liverpool held possession deeper, rather than immediately forcing entry into the final third. They’re more willing to play forward-and-back than side-to-side, recycling play to draw defenders out and preserve space behind. Liverpool’s attacking build-up tended to be generally slower, deliberately preserving space higher up. Then they’d flip into sudden, quick attacks, exploiting the spaces they’ve intentionally maintained. Arsenal over-relied on long-balls from Raya, in my view. Liverpool had Trent Alexander-Arnold to offer the analog. He was dropping long-balls deeper, scarier, and closer to goal. Liverpool were less aggressive in the first line of press, conserving energy for explosive tackling and pressing in the middle third, creating turnovers in areas where they have space to attack immediately. This led to lower amounts of running, but more shots. And let’s be clear that much of it was emergent from player quality: more attackers, faster attackers, better ball-striking. But still, they were set up well. As Zubimendi, Madueke, Gyökeres, and hopefully another attacker join, here are a few things I think should be put into the tactical consideration set for such a carrying, hopefully transitional bunch: Fewer launches, more playing out the back. I think Zubimendi can help us keep it in the lower third more, and keep it on the ground more, until an advantage is found. I feel like we used the long-ball as a crutch instead of a weapon last year. More central combinations, of course. There’s an opportunity to relax the level of engagement in the first line of press and spring more aggressive midfield traps. This can keep legs fresher up front. But it can also get Zubimendi, Rice, and Ødegaard closer together in the midfield; from that position, you can give them license to be incredibly aggressive about their jumps, winning the ball, and hitting it forward as quickly as possible. Up higher, a combination of Martinelli/Madueke, Havertz/Gyökeres, and Saka (plus, Nwaneri and hopefully a player like Eze) can then save more of their sprints for in-possession phases, and be more likely to receive it in space. This is how you can generate those opportunities for Gyökeres channel runs, not to mention Madueke carries and blindside darts. Decline “easy progression” more often. There are triggers that cause Arsenal opponents to drop all the way back into the box: wide, fairly uninterrupted carries by Martinelli and Ødegaard, for example. Arsenal should make sure either a) the block is broken with an aggressive pass or b) our most threatening carriers are doing the carrying: Saka, Lewis-Skelly, Madueke, Gyökeres, Rice, Nwaneri, Calafiori, Zubimendi, a player like Eze, etc. If not, recycle and find another way through. I’d like to keep Martinelli more off-ball, more marauding, more associative, more fox-in-the-box. And a lot of it is just a vibe thing: being more immediate and ruthless when an advantage is on offer. Arsenal needn’t be fatalistic about not having space. You can generate it. One of my closing points of that piece, interestingly for this one, was this: Young and good, capable of being great, flippable for €25m, you say? Let’s wrap it up, then. 🔥 Final thoughts 🐻 Bear case The bear-est case is simple: Madueke’s injury issues return. His hamstring problems flare up in a more intense system, limiting his availability and stalling the tweaks he still needs to make. That locks in some of his rough edges as something more lasting, and is especially a concern if an injury affects his stop-start burst or overall intensity, both of which are central to his impact. He becomes a Tomiyasu in attack, and doesn’t offer enough real depth. I don’t personally see a big “Grealish risk” here in forcing conservatism upon a dynamic player. It’s just not who Madueke is. Ignoring injury risk, the performance bear case is that his decision-making and end product don’t improve much, defenders get better at devising repeatable ways of narrowing his options, and he doesn’t arrive and generate cheap goals on late arrivals and the like. I also thought his Chelsea form improved with regular starts, which is obvious, but it can be hard for some players to get in a rhythm in smaller chunks of time. In that version, he’s a rotation player, not a star. And yeah, some of the erratic stuff will draw groans from the crowd. We’re spoiled with Saka, who makes the right choice basically every time. Martinelli has some flaws, but he usually steers clear of wasteful losses. So we can forget what it’s like to have a winger who really tries shit, risks and all. That means mistakes and losses, sometimes awkward ones. It’s the cost of doing business. No one needs to listen to me, but I do hope supporters keep that in mind. If he doesn’t bed in well at LW, and he’s only a rotation player, the biggest issue is opportunity cost. You didn’t go bigger for a more obvious solution, where less projection was necessary, right when that felt needed. You fail to lock in a true left-wing solution, so that side doesn’t click … again. And we’re back to square one. 🐮 Bull case When we started the search, I put two goals for the summer above all else, even above striker: A midfielder who can enhance and balance the build-up, providing readier advantages to the final-third players One or two dynamic, swashbuckling, give-me-the-fucking-ball attacking forces (ideally helping on the left) Zubimendi is an ideal fit for the first objective. And when you say “dynamic, swashbuckling, give-me-the-fucking-ball” attacker, there are few clearer incarnations than Noni Madueke. In the bull scenario, Madueke builds on his immense foundation and simply becomes one of the world’s best wingers. The optimistic view is that Arsenal craftily found a steal in a market increasingly bereft of them. He’s already one of the world’s best carriers, is proven to the league’s physical and tactical demands, and is at the ideal age for signing a winger. He has some of the best carrying and shot-generation stats around. Aside from the injury question and the opportunity cost of not going all-in on a more proven left-winger, there’s no question that ~£50m represents a market deal on pure quality at a time when Brennan Johnson is going for the same, Anthony Elanga is going for more, and Mbeumo is going for £70m (plus big wages). He, then, opens up all kinds of tactical possibilities. Saka coverage goes from an open question to a clear strength; it could literally lengthen his career, which is not said lightly. Nwaneri gets to focus his work inside, which is his future. It may even open Saka up to more creative uses. When Madueke starts at right-wing, his running may magnet defenders away from the middle, disrupt those pesky mid-blocks, and open even more space for Ødegaard to operate. He, like Gyökeres, has real potential as a flat-track bully. When he’s better than somebody, he smells blood. On the left, the creative gamble works out. Martinelli has been shoehorned as a width-holder, and Madueke proves to be the real thing, clearing space in the inside channel for players like Calafiori and Lewis-Skelly to have their fun, as he drives at the byline and pops in dangerous crosses, and charges in to disrupt blocks. Arsenal need people who run fast, drive at defenders, try shit, and take shots. Madueke is an answer to those questions. In particular, he has the potential to add real dynamism and bite to transition opportunities, both with the ball (carrier) and as a runner (in behind, and after ball-wins). The bet is that with these qualities, scaled up to an environment with more stability and leadership, he can unlock his full potential. That is a player near the top of the per-90 charts in carries, box touches, shots, and, increasingly, goals. More than that, he has potential for a cultural impact: making the Arsenal team more ambitious, more direct, and more overpowering. Madueke is an unexpected addition. I certainly wasn’t expecting it. I have little doubt about his underlying qualities. His strengths are superlative, and his charisma on the pitch permeates. With so many different possibilities, and genuine rotation on offer, it will be interesting to see how it works out. The injury history is enough to where I personally may have shied away, but I also acknowledge I don’t have all the information (or expertise) to make that decision. This makes him a high-ceiling, medium-risk signing. It was time for one of those in attack. Watching him, you can see why somebody in a video room would get target-lock. Going through his stats, you can see why a data nerd would do the same. That combination says a lot. His skills are rarer than one may assume. Ultimately, he’s but one part of the attacking revamp. Zubimendi is the most important addition to that, for my money, and Gyökeres is now set to join. To me, a creative, dynamic, final-ball type threat (Eze) is not optional from here: there is not enough of that with Saka off the pitch, and Madueke doesn’t dramatically change that. The success of the window depends on it. If Arsenal don’t go “big” on a signing like Isak, they must cover all bases. Madueke and Eze (or an Eze-type) jigsaw nicely. But in any incarnation, Madueke is talented enough to be a level-raiser: a bold bet on carrying, dribbling, shot generation, potential, and boldness itself. Football requires a healthy delusion from all. Delusion from the players: that out of the millions who grow up dreaming of the lights, you can be one of the few who is stubborn enough, and lucky enough, to grasp the highest things. Delusion from the decision-makers: that you are smart enough to assemble a squad that prevails in a subworld of smart people, oil states, shameless media, endless money, and powers-that-be. Delusion from supporters: that this, alas, is the year. Madueke is set to feed that delusion once more. It’s always delusion until it isn’t.