Lapo Blues

A Man.U fan and a Manchester City fan were sentenced to death by firing squad.The officer in charge asked the Manchester City fan if he had a last request. 'Yes' replied the City Fan, 'I'm a keen City Supporter, and I videoed the last game Manchester City played. Could I watch the video before I die?' 'No Problem', replied the officer, 'I'll get the men to rig up a large screen, and you can watch it from here'.Then turning to the Man U. Fan, he asked 'And what about you, do you have a last request?''Yes', he replied, 'Shoot me first'.

He was in ecstasy with a huge smile on his face as his wife moved forward, then backwards, forward, then backwards again…… back and forth… back and forth….. in and out……. She could feel the sweat on her forehead, between her breasts and trickling down the small of her back. She was getting near to the end. Her heart was pounding….. her face was flushed….. Then she moaned, softly at first, then began to groan louder. Finally, totally exhausted, she let out an almighty scream and shouted, “Okay, Okay!!! I can’t park the fooking car!!! You do it, you smug bastard!!!”

For those of you (unlike me) who have daughters of a certain age, the following is informative: — One day a father, on his way home from work suddenly remembers that it’s his daughter’s birthday. He stops at a toy store and goes in and asks the sales person, ‘How much for one of those Barbie’s in the display window?’ The salesperson answers, ‘Which one do you mean, Sir? We have: Work Out Barbie for £19.95, Shopping Barbie for £19.95, Beach Barbie for £19.95, Disco Barbie for £19.95, Astronaut Barbie for £19.95, Skater Barbie for £19.95, and Divorced Barbie for £265.95’. The amazed father asks: ‘It’s what? Why is the Divorced Barbie £265.95 and the others only £19.95?’ The slightly miffed salesgirl rolls her eyes, sighs, and answers: ‘Look, Sir…, Divorced Barbie comes with: Ken’s Truck, Ken’s House, Ken’s Fishing Boat, Ken’s Furniture, Ken’s Dog, Ken’s Computer, one of Ken’s Friends, and a key chain made from Ken’s testicles.’ Hmmmm…..

I lost words on Jose. But what's the solution for now on? Sack him? Is that a solution or just panic reaction?

There once was a French cunt named Wenger, In-club for more than thousand games bender, Got stuffed by José's blender, Well, hip hip hooray, thanks to Stan’s wiener, The specialist of failures won’t fuck off, forever.

Arsenal on top of the EPL table is like an elephant on top of a tree. Nobody knows how it got there, but everybody knows how it will fall.

Arsenal are those guys who buy drinks for the chick for the whole night then Man City come in at 2 am and go home with her.

Alexis Sanchez fails medical test at Emirates after inhaling dust from the trophy less cabinet.

Alexis Sanchez: "I am delighted to be joining Arsenal. I look forward to finishing fourth and joining Real Madrid next summer."

Who has never won CL trophy? https://www.facebook.com/arsenaljokes/photos/a.673507736053608.1073741825.185103291560724/738112032926511/?type=3&theater

Santa: What do you want for Christmas? Arsenal fan kid: I want a dragon Santa: Come on kid. Be realistic. Arsenal fan kid: Okay. I want Arsenal to win Champions League. Santa: ????? What color of dragon do you want?

Here is to spice thing up the shitty old fart wenger is: ARSENE WENGER’S PRE-SEASON CHECKLIST: 1. Fail to buy the required quality players in key positions before the season starts, leaving the squad at least two players short of a title-winning one: Check. 2. Start season well and get stupid fans to believe that we are in a title race: Check. 3. Run key players into the ground by over-training and over-playing them; causing various muscle injuries: Check. 4. Have at least one long-term injured player who’ll be “Like a new signing when he’s back.”: Check. 5. Start off rubbish in the champions’ league group stages: Check. 6. But finish well, just nicking second spot by winning the last qualifying game: Check. 7. Get knocked out in the last 16, but not before a “valiant” comeback attempt after a pathetic first-leg performance: Check. 8. Collapse in the Premier League, losing away to rubbish mid-table sides: Check. 9. But finish well, winning the last few games in order to secure that all-important fourth place: Check. 10. Get the muppet supporters to believe next year will be better: Check. 11. Do the same thing next year: Check.

Yep, right. If he is your C*NT, he's yours then. Why should he be our C*nt? Take him away with you as far as north pole....

A dick has a sad life. His hair is a mess; his family is nuts; his next-door neighbor is an asshole; his best friend is a pussy, and his owner beats him habitually. When I thought about it, wenger is a real dick of all and that joke kinda suits him perfectly. A dick (wenger) has a sad life. His hair is a mess; his family is nuts (wife divorced him); his next-door neighbor (spuds fan) is an asshole; his best friend (gazidis) is a pussy, and his owner (kroenke) beats him habitually.

An Arsenal fan and a Man United fan were watching the news on TV. There was a film story about a girl on the ledge of a building threatening to commit suicide. The police were trying to talk her down when the Man United fan says to the Arsenal fan, "I'll bet you five Pounds that she jumps." The Arsenal fan took the bet. Seconds later, the girl jumps. The Arsenal fan takes five Pounds from his pocket and hands it to the Man United fan. The Man United says, "I can't take your money. I saw the same film clip on the 6:00 news today and knew she was going to jump." The Arsenal fan says, "I watched it too, but I didn't think she do it a second time."

What is the difference between an Arsenal fan and a vibrator? Arsenal fan is a real dick.

respect the bull. don't insult him.

ricky lambert? oh wait, that old flop.