MT&AHC #3 - Chelsea's Costa Coffee coup under threat

[BlueLion. 21,491]

My Two-And-A-Half Cents is a column written by TalkChelsea administrator Alex Hinsley. A satirical look at happenings surrounding Chelsea Football Club, it must be stated that any views stated in this column are most definitely my own, and in no way reflect upon TalkChelsea.net, Chelsea FC, or any affiliates.

Blues venture into beverage industry suffers set-back!

Chelsea FC's ambitious move into the food and beverage industry suffered a major blow this morning as British mega-conglomerate Whitbread announced it's highly successful Costa Coffee chain had agreed a new contract with Spanish side Atletico Madrid.

The Blues' high profile chase of Costa has been ongoing since the summer, but it would appear that José Mourinho's men will now have to splash out upwards of £40 million to secure the coffee brand's rights in the next transfer window.

The Blues' hopes of adding the Costa brand to their ranks have suffered a big blow.

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Elsewhere, the Blues have revealed a link with the world's most famous cartoon family - the Simpsons.

The iconic series - now in it's 26th season - will feature Blues players Fernando Torres, Frank Lampard, Petr Cech, Eden Hazard and John Terry.

Mere logic disctates that the most obvious storyline the show might follow could see the witless Homer Simpson become the new Blues boss - and after a series of sub-standard results, Terry takes his revenge by bedding Homer's wife, Marge.

How the Chelsea-related episode may pan out.

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Matic turned away at Stansted

Chelsea's midfield destroyer Nemanja Matic was banned from flying on the club's flight to Istanbul for the midweek game against Galatasaray.

Airport officials prohibited the crazy Serbian from joining his team-mates after he stepped through the terminal's metal detectors.

Thankfully, having played in the Champions League for Benfica already this season, the Blues' number 21 was cup-tied anyway, meaning he couldn't play.

That ruling is something that seems to have gone straight over the heads of some seriously retarded Manchester United fans, who are calling for David Moyes' head after the former Everton boss didn't play (the also cup-tied) Juan Mata against Olympiakos.

It would seem that Moyes and United is a match made in heaven.

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In other news...

Elsewhere in the world of football, Cardiff City Chinese Dragons FC's megalomaniac owner Vincent Tan feels he has been bastardised by the British media.

Tan feels that after sacking the incredibly popular Malky McKay and replacing him with a bloke who has looked about 15 years old for the past three decades, as well as putting the club up for sale in 2007, 2008, 2009, 2010 and 2011 - AND changing the club's crest and kit colour from blue to red - that he has been harshly treated.

He also feels as if he has been made to look like a villain by the press, joining a long list of seriously misunderstood nice-guys like Adolf Hitler, Josef Stalin and Emperor Palpatine.

Tan wants the fans who oppose him to apologise. Good luck.

As well as that, Tottenham Hotspur caused ructions in European football with (what their fans are saying is) one of the greatest ever comebacks to beat Dnipro Dnipropetrovsk 3-2 on aggregate, having been 0-2 down. If you haven't heard of them, they're a small team from London. The DVD should be released imminently.

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[Jase 43,479]

Erm, not as good as your two previous ones. The standard is dropping Alex.

[BlueLion. 21,491]

Never ever going to beat the first one though!

[Shane 2,275]

Where can I read the first two mate?

[Jase 43,479]

Where can I read the first two mate?

Here..

1st - http://forum.talkchelsea.net/topic/16544-mt-ahc-1-the-toils-of-tancredi-palmeri-and-the-twitter-trolls/?p=732120

2nd - http://forum.talkchelsea.net/topic/16551-mt-ahc-2-bieber-impresses-on-usa-tour-duty/?p=732522

[BlueLion. 21,491]

The other two were better, but it is refreshing to take a humorous slant instead of being serious writing "articles" all the time. Makes writing just a bit more enjoyable.

[didierforever 7,349]

Hahahagaga.... the moyes, tan and spurs part is hilarious

But nothing beats your blackman vs hilario in one of the previous ones.

[BlueLion. 21,491]

Haha cheers, the Hilario one was the best one haha!

[Sidzeret 2,257]

Too bad. I always loved Brazilian coffee.

Good job. Maybe you should do it every week.