The only place to be

Whilst I agree with that statement in most cases, it's hardly the case here. 22 year old De Bruyne simply hasn't been able to displace 22 year old Oscar, 22 year old Eden Hazard or 23 year old Andre Schurrle. Now Lukaku....that's a different story.

Does he count as trained in England?

No, but they should start growing up by that age. Look at Kompany and Terry. Fair enough....but I've heard for a while now. I really hope you're right but I'm just not that optimistic and I wouldn't be surprised if he's gone by January, although it's unlikely.

I once indulged in a bit of 'Niall Quinn's Disco Pants'.....probably should re-phrase that. He's 26 and we're still talking about being close to the finished article. Personally I think he's still making the same mistakes he did 2 and a half years ago. Really? I think he could've and he simply hasn't. The thing is I don't really care about his form. It's been good and it's been bad, but ultimately I think his problems are all mental. Top players have a certain mentality and I just don't see it in him. I don't think it's something he's going to suddenly develop and I'll be the first to say he's one of the most technically gifted defenders around, but there's something missing. Bottling the challenge up at Newcastle and the entire performance against Cardiff just confirmed my views.

There was plenty of discussion about him becoming world class and he simply hasn't. He's 26 and he plays with the same problems he did when he was 23 except he puts the ball out of play far more now. Under Jose he's regressed and Terry has re-emerged as our main defender. Luiz can't even keep Cahill out of the side so if an offer comes in for him then why don't we go for a young defender with potential rather than a 26 year old with unfulfilled potential?

Guarin is good enough for now and he fits into our financial structure.

I couldn't give a fuck if Cahill is worse. He isn't wanted by Barca and we didn't spend £24 million on him. I can forgive Cahill because his flaw is that he's just not very good. David Luiz has more talent than almost any central defender in the world but it doesn't count for shit if he doesn't try and get the most out of it. I'm so fed up with his lack of commitment, his stupid brainfarts and the continuing adoration because of his sideshow bob hair and Miley Cyrus mannerisms. Gary Neville nailed-him correctly. On his day he's amongst the best in the world but he can't be relied on. That's why he's been dropped twice this season and why any serious bid should be considered.

He was better for us last season, but still not the defender we thought he'd be when we signed him and plenty of people were convinced he was a central midfielder. Hoddle still does in fact and I'm inclined to agree.

Zouma and Guarin we've been strongly linked with. In what world is Martinez world class? In what world is Witsel available for £35 million? Why do we need Reus?

When was the last time he was dropped? A few weeks ago and not long before that as well. Great player in theory but a liability on it and the supporters' patience is wearing thin. Watch the goal mouth scramble against Palace and watch Luiz. It's utterly incredible. I'm not kidding.

Exactly. Maybe we should put some yellow on the kit and then he might play like he does for Brazil. We could put some green on so Mikel plays like he does for Nigeria. Or we just sell them both and buy Zouma and Witsel.

Not De Bruyne or our strikers?

Running towards goal and tried to wrap his (slightly) weaker foot round it. Shit like that happens, like Courtois misjudging the flight of the ball against Zenit. It's got nothing to do with fitness or anything. It's football. Luiz's problems are the result of a lack of focus. If he had one ounce of Kompany's commitment then Luiz would be the best defender in the world.

It was a fucking slice, a freak mistake. Will he be dropped for it like Luiz has been twice already this season for shit performances?? But Luiz will be great....just give him a chance

Behave. What world class players are available in January and not horrendously overpriced?

Yes I did. Did you? Out of interest, can you explain what the fuck David Luiz was doing whilst Ivanovic and Terry were throwing themselves in front of the ball against Palace?

It's my personal opinion. You don't have to give a damn. Or Lukaku. Look, I know trophies are very nice and Suarez is a great player but I simply think the guy is scum and I'd hate to see him holding up our shirt. For some people that isn't a problem. That's fair enough.

You're not alone in that thinking, but the guy is utter scum and I'd absolutely hate to see him wearing the shirt. I don't mind hard players, but dirty, racist little shits aren't what this club should be aspiring to.

One in the winter, one in the summer.

He's a cunt and he's a perfect fit for the scum.

They just replayed the goal mouth scramble against Palace when Terry and Ivanovic were throwing themselves in front of the ball. What the fucking fuck is David Luiz doing? He takes his sweet time getting to his feet and then stands there.

One of the defining games of our season and could dictate how our Christmas period/title challenge goes. Same goes for Arsenal as well. If they lose two on the bounce to their two biggest challengers then they lose a lot of credibility and they could be out of it by February. If we win then it kickstarts what could be a great Christmas period. If we lose then it could snowball into something disastrous by the middle of January. Personally I'd like to see us attack with pace and precision which would probably be Willian, Hazard and Schurrle but I'm almost certain it will be Mata, Oscar and Hazard. Rami is nailed-on in midfield and it'll probably be Mikel alongside him (needs to have a monster game). Back four probably includes Luiz and picks itself, and then up front I'd go with Torres. Arsenal will not defend deep and he's shown he can score against teams who actually show some attacking ambition. Eto'o can fuck off and update his twitter feed and Ba off the bench if we need someone who vaguely resembles Drogba if you squint (the mere sight of him could induce flashbacks in the Arsenal back four....hopefully they've not seen him play recently). Kalas and Cahill on the bench (Cole can enjoy a night off) with Lamps, Schurrle, Willian and Ba. Come on you blues....can't fucking wait.

That's funny. How many rings does Iverson have? Jordan practiced as hard as he played and that's why he's the greatest of all time. Ronaldo works on his game and works twice as hard as almost any other player in the gym - that's why he's one of the greatest players ever. Hazard could be one of the greatest ever. But he needs to knuckle down and show the type of form he showed against Sunderland more than once a season (last season it was against West Ham). I know it's easy to slate Ashton but the guy does have some credibility. One more thing about that clip - wasn't Iverson scoring champion, all-star and league MVP when he said that stuff? Eden Hazard has achieved slightly more than the square root of fuck all right now. He NEEDS to practice.

We have Mikel who completes 92% of his passes but does nothing with them. This guy might not be as consistent a passer but there's a lot more adventure in his play and that's what we're lacking in that midfield, especially against teams who sit deep and defend for 90 minutes. If this guy has a shot in the 5th minute then in the 24th he might draw a defender out of position who thinks he'll have another pop - that creates space. He can also take the ball through the first line rather than waiting for Oscar to drop deep and take the ball off him, and he's got a decent physical presence. This could go either way but I'm hopeful that Jose sees something in him to remedy our woes.

Yes we do. This guy has the tools to be exactly what we need. He's capable of putting a good pass in, he can run well with the ball and he can shoot from distance. Those last two are what we've missed in that midfield. Teams don't have to worry about our midfield doing much more than passing sideways and it's got to the point where even Lamps looks reluctant to shoot from distance. This guy's biggest problem is his consistency. If he can find some under Jose then he could be an important player for us. If not then he fills a role for a few years as the new Mikel.