BlueLion.

I think its a great read! Really great guy Sean Lock is, top comedian too! He hosted a gala evening for the company my dad is a field manager for a couple of years back and me and my mom went as well - I was in stitches the whole evening (because he and Frankie Boyle hosted it )!

"I don't know what all the fuss is about. The media have got nothing better to do than make trouble," explained comedian and Chelsea supporter Sean Lock at the beginning of our interview on the afternoon after the narrow 2-1 victory over MSK Zilina in the UEFA Champions League. Perhaps there are better words for a journalist to hear, but the above offered an insight into the football fanaticism of the standup as he gave his opinion on recent events surrounding Carlo Ancelotti and on-field form at Stamford Bridge. Lock has been a lifelong Chelsea supporter and has also held a season-ticket for many years to mean that he has seen the good and the bad times, the pre and post-Abramovich years, in West London. The star of TV panel shows 8 out of 10 Cats and QI is of course better known as a master of intelligent and self-deprecating comedy and he is currently approaching the end of a UK tour of his precision-paced Lockipedia show, but he also knows his football inside out. Having experienced Lockipedia's material, ranging from pirates to Madonna, which is also available on DVD, skysports.com did not think twice when offered the chance to chew the fat with Lock. Chelsea My older brother is a Chelsea fan, my dad is a Chelsea fan and most of my cousins are Chelsea fans, so I am a Chelsea fan. My dad is of that era when it wasn't so partisan. He would go to Chelsea one Saturday and then he would go to Fulham the next Saturday, so I've never been 100 per cent convinced that he is a Chelsea fan, although I'm sure he is. But I have always been a Chelsea fan. We've got a few problems at the moment, but we're top of the Premier League and top of our Champions League group. I don't think there is anything seriously wrong and it will settle down. What's your take on Roman Abramovich-era 'fans'? You never actually meet someone who says, 'Yes, I've just come along since the money'. But I was walking down the Fulham Road about four or five years ago and I walked past this pub called the Fulham Tup and there were these people stood outside, they were quite posh, and this guy gave this girl a ticket for the game. She took the ticket out of his hand and said, 'What do I do with this?!' Forget the offside rule or the complexities of qualifying for the Champions League, she didn't know what a ticket was! You will get people like that at football these days, it's an entertainment business, a form of show business. But people won't own up to being new Chelsea supporters, it's like people won't admit to being New Labour supporters. Chelsea v Derby I'm pretty sure it was a draw at Stamford Bridge in about 1972. I was about nine years old. I remember seeing the big green pitch. Obviously it was very exciting, I imagine for any kid going to football is very exciting. It was a big, wide stadium and there was a dog track at Stamford Bridge at that time, so there was something for Peter Osgood and the like to spend their wages on after the match! I remember the space, the noise and the singing. I don't remember it being intimidating. I was with my brother and my dad so I felt quite protected. They didn't take me right into The Shed End. We were in The Shed End, but we didn't go to The White Wall. I used to come up to London as much as I could because I lived down in Woking in those days. I've been a season-ticket holder for years, but I haven't been able to go much this season because I've been on tour. The next game I'm going to is against Manchester United, so that should be good. Peter Osgood I acquired most of my Chelsea-loving from my brother and most people liked Peter Osgood. He scored a lot of goals, but I don't remember specifically what it was I liked about him other than the fact that he was a good player. You meet a lot of old Chelsea fans who go, 'Ahh, well, after Emlyn Hughes broke Osgood's leg he was never the same player'. Obviously I never saw him before that and I definitely didn't see him at his best as he left for Southampton in 1974, but he was the one. Mystery man I don't really remember hating a player when I was young, it wasn't something that you did. It probably would have been a foreign player in a World Cup or something like that. The media didn't stir things up as much. For example, Robbie Savage was portrayed as a pantomime villain for a few years, but that didn't happen to players much in the past. My brother would get Shoot magazine and that was the only information I would get drip-fed. You would have the table and the results, but it was only if you went to a game that you would properly see players. It was difficult to hate players, there wasn't the same frenzy. Whenever most players spoke they seemed gentlemanly, they didn't seem arrogant and they all seemed to be quite well-behaved working men. I don't remember them being a**eholes! Chelsea v Leeds, 1970 FA Cup final I remember my family watching it on the television in the living room with the curtains closed. I was about six and was too young to really concentrate so watched a bit of it and got bored and walked off. I remember thinking, 'Why have they got the curtains closed?' It was to stop the sun shining on the screen, but I went out into the garden and kicked a ball around. The game was a draw and then Chelsea went on and won the replay. Altar Boys I wasn't very good at football. I wasn't good enough to play for my school, but I played for the Altar Boys for a while [laughing]. I was an Altar Boy at a Catholic Church and we had a team... and I only just scraped into that. I wasn't a naturally-gifted player. I used to play on the left of defence. I was quite fit, but I didn't make it into the hallowed echelons of the school team. False memory People didn't wear kits. When I was about 16 or 17 years old I started to notice people wearing them, but, I might be really dating myself, I don't think they did when I was younger. A friend of mine who was a West Ham fan got a Burnley kit and I remember my step-brother got a kit so I might have asked for one then. That might be a false memory, I'm sure I did have a kit, but I don't think I did! But I went off football from my mid-teens to about 18, 19, or 20 because there wasn't so much to see. Now it would take the willpower of a recovering junkie to go off football, but in those days if you didn't watch the two games that were shown at the weekend it was quite easy to go off football. I don't really wear kits these days either. I don't go to matches decked out like Braveheart with my face painted and hair done up. Red Rose Club, Finsbury Park There were three people on the bill. John Hegley was hosting and then there was Dave Cohen, Felix Dexter and a guy called Roy Hutchins. I remember it because it was a fantastic night, they were all great. http://www.skysports.com/story/0,19528,12193_6539612,00.html

Not surprising, it would have been a lot higher had Ballack, Deco, Carvalho and Joe 'More Money Please, I'm Poor' Cole were still here.

I don't see how you can say Hasselbaink is 'at least two times better than' Drogba. On goalscoring terms, their goals in Chelsea colours have come at almost exactly one in two games.

Great player and he should stay at the world's greatest club where he is winning and has insane wages. Shit at defending though.

Tough call when it comes to penalties... I think I'm right in saying that competitively neither have missed for us in their careers at our club.

Chelsea ought to release some official Christmas cards... nothing massively overstated or cheesy, some nice ones of players (past and present), the training ground/stadium and so on would be nice.

Alternatively 20-year-old clones of Frank Lampard and John Terry wouldn't go amiss.

Very clever attempt at trying to advertise your website, however since you didn't ask for advertising permission I have removed your link. Please see this topic for more information.

I believe it is Drogba. Why? I just think he is a more complete forward, but it isn't just his goalscoring; it is his overall play across the pitch. His defensive role is massive and he carries it out to perfection, and he sets up as many chances as he scores. Wonderful player, we were truly blessed to see this man in his prime last year.

Absolutely agree, FB. There is a fine line between opinion and fact, some people seem to find the line too blurry for the liking of us TC members!

Tough question. I firmly believe we need another CB first and foremost, but we're largely uninspiring going forward as well. Messi/Ronaldo.Xavi/Iniesta are all obvious contenders and they will appear about 50 times in this thread I reckon. However two players who I think would suit our system massively would be Cesc Fabregas and Thomas Mueller, but neither of those players would come here.

I know this thread was a laugh but you have to appreciate that some non-native English speakers may not understand irony and it is hard to tell on the internet. But anyway, I found it hilarious SACK CARLO NOW! AVRAM GRANT FOR MANAGER.

That Barcelona performance just took the Busquets.

Last time we played Ipswich in the cup, Lampard scored a 35 yard screamer...

Keep up to tabs with suspensions here. Key LG = Premier League FA = Football Association competition, such as Community Shield and FA Cup LC = Football League Cup EUR = European competition Current Suspended Players: None

A month ago, this man could do no wrong. Keep the faith, all will come good. Carlo isn't the one to blame in the first place...

The whole point of me ridiculing the article was because you seriously can blame no-one but the club for the goings on on the pitch at the moment.

True, but if Ivanovic picks up a yellow card we're back to square one considering the games we have coming up as he could miss one of Spurs, United, Arsenal, Bolton or Villa.

I found moreorless the whole of the Newcastle team were excellent! However it was very difficult to choose between Tiote and Enrique as both were frankly fantastic yesterday. Agree with you though LDN. We seem to lose all defensive discipline without our JT.

Noel and Serge <3 Happy with the draw to be honest! Another 90 minutes for Josh and Patch, or so I hope.

You're right, someone must have anticipated the F-Bombs coming their way. It was basically slagging off Ancelotti for all of our shortcomings, and saying he should resign.

I'm not so sure. I think if Lampard comes into the side and we revert to the Diamond (I can hear the collective groans already, but let me finish), we might gain some success. Basically, there is no link between the midfield and the forwards at the minute. Lampard has the natural instinct to bomb forward to play effectively as a third striker and Essien always loves to bomb forward. Cech Bosingwa, Ivan, Terry, Cole Mikel Essien, Malouda Lampard Anelka, Drogba Anelka and Drogba up top together works much better than people give credit for, in my view. The midfield quartet are naturally very attack-minded (save for Mikel), but with the ability for Lampard and Malouda, and Essien and Mikel to rotate, it would make us much more fluid going forward and give us the ability to actually make links between the frontline and the midfield. Today we saw how deep Anelka and Kalou were having to come, and Drogba was effervescent at best! We need a spark and that should be supplied by Lampard and Essien - unfortunately I think other teams have simply 'found out' how to play against us now.

I know we're going through a rough patch, but if anyone goes as far as this, I'll probably ban you myself... http://www.chelsea.vitalfootball.co.uk/article.asp?a=521290 'Overreaction' springs to mind...

Newcastle 1-1 Chelsea Sunday 28 November 2010, Premier League, St. James' Park A horrible November came to a close with further Chelsea frustration as the Blues were held to a disappointing 1-1 draw at Newcastle. A calamitous miscommunication between Petr Cech and Alex allowed Andy Carroll to steal the ball and give Newcastle an early lead, but Chelsea rallied and equalised through Salomon Kalou on the stroke of half time. The second half was an entirely one-sided affair as the Blues besieged Tim Krul's goal, but a combination of sheer bad luck, pathetic misses and good saves from the Newcastle goalkeeper conceded Carlo Ancelotti's men to yet another disappointing result. And with Manchester United's 7-1 demolition of Blackburn yesterday, coupled with a superb win for Arsenal at Aston Villa, Chelsea have lost top spot for the first time this season - they now trail Manchester United by two points and only goal difference keeps them above Arsenal in second place. It has been a diabolical month for Chelsea both on and off the pitch - the sacking of Ray Wilkins and the resignation of Frank Arnesen has clearly troubled the side, whilst one Premier League win in five is indication of just how poor the Blues have been this November in light of a pile-up of injuries to key players, including John Terry and Frank Lampard. After intense snowfall in the North East and a fantastic effort by Newcastle United and the city council to put the game on, some Chelsea supporters will perhaps wish the game had been postponed considering the largely insipid display put on by the Blues starting eleven. Though the second half was a marked improvement, an apparent lack of desire and commitment to the cause must be addressed if this catastrophic slump in form is to be turned around. It was in typical fashion that Chelsea fell behind in this match - although comical is another word that would be satisfactory in describing the nature of it. A breakdown in communication saw Alex pass the ball back whilst Cech came out to claim it, and with the goalkeeper suddenly taken out of the match, Carroll was able to stroll in and knock the ball home to rub further salt into Chelsea wounds. Thankfully from a Chelsea perspective, the visitors' response was more like the Chelsea who scored seventeen goals in their first four Premier League matches - as opposed to the two they have managed in their last four. Shots from Drogba and Anelka kept Krul busy, whilst Ashley Cole and José Bosingwa were enjoying productive afternoons and supplying an infinite amount of crosses from the flanks. But for all of Chelsea's pressure, it took them until the forty-fifth minute to register a truly meaningful effort, and it was the equalising goal from Kalou. Chelsea broke forward and cute interplay between Anelka and Drogba allowed Kalou to space to strike goalwards; his effort taking the slightest of deflections as it nestled in the back of the Newcastle net - a hammer blow to the Toon. With confidence coursing inside them, Chelsea began the second half in typically buoyant fashion, and Drogba demonstrated that with a brilliant burst of pace as he brought down Mikel's long-range pass and tested Krul with a snap-shot from just inside the box. Minutes later it was Ivanovic warming the Newcastle goalkeeper's gloves, and Alex was beaten to the ball as Krul collected at the second attempt after his central defensive colleague has glanced an inswinging Malouda corner goalwards. At the other end, a rare Newcastle foray forward saw Carroll trouble the Chelsea defence but his header was straight at Cech. That chance seemed to galvanise the home faithful, who inspired their team forward knowing that even in spite of their dominance, Chelsea were no longer the unbeatable giants who had started the season in irresistible fashion. That was shown as the hour mark passed after weakly punching a cross clear, Cech was thankful that Ashley Cole was well-positioned on the line to head away Wayne Routledge's fierce drive. After one-way traffic for the whole of the second half, Newcastle were suddenly throwing punches themselves. In a game of fine margins, it was bad luck that denied Chelsea a deserved winner. First an accidental handball ruled out a superb turn and finish from the effervescent Drogba, whilst Kalou inexplicably poked the ball wide after a fortunate ricochet had fell into his path. It was to be a miss that Ancelotti's men would rue - and a late Sturridge miss could only compound the woe as Chelsea again surrendered more points. The win against Zilina was supposed to have formed the cornerstone to a turnaround in fortunes, but make no mistake about it - this blip has become a full-blown rot. ___________________________________________________________________ Newcastle (4-4-2): Krul; Simpson, Campbell, Taylor, José Enrique; Routledge, Guthrie, Tiote, Gutiérrez; Ameobi © (Ranger 77), Carroll Chelsea (4-3-2-1): Cech, Bosingwa, Ivanovic, Alex, Cole; Kalou, Ramires, Mikel (Sturridge 79), Malouda; Anelka Drogba. The TalkChelsea.net Man of the Match was Newcastle's number 3, José Enrique