BlueLion.

Luiz in the midfield would win us this game. We need someone to motherfuckin' dribble with the ball.

Stekelenburg has been our best player.

Name: PuntersAdvice Reason: Advertising Punishment: Content moderated permanentlyAbility to create content removed permanently.Suspended permanently Also move to Banned

Well this has been exciting.

Haha cheers, the Hilario one was the best one haha!

It's his first season. People should be more realistic. If they want more attacking output then they can go and buy Bale and Messi on their FIFA careers.

If people want him to score more goals, that's fine. Let's let him play like Mata, and compromise our defensive rigidity and end up 6th and 3rd in the league for the next two seasons.

Name: Steve Reason: General Cuntishness Punishment: Anal probing Also move to Banned Content moderated permanentlyAbility to create content removed permanently.Suspended permanently

WE WILL WIN !!! HAHAHAHA BASTARD!

The other two were better, but it is refreshing to take a humorous slant instead of being serious writing "articles" all the time. Makes writing just a bit more enjoyable.

BULLSHIT, we won't win!

Sorry but we won't win today. I'm going out for a meal with the family, we never win when that happens. Sorry!

It all feels better after this though:

Never ever going to beat the first one though!

My Two-And-A-Half Cents is a column written by TalkChelsea administrator Alex Hinsley. A satirical look at happenings surrounding Chelsea Football Club, it must be stated that any views stated in this column are most definitely my own, and in no way reflect upon TalkChelsea.net, Chelsea FC, or any affiliates. Blues venture into beverage industry suffers set-back! Chelsea FC's ambitious move into the food and beverage industry suffered a major blow this morning as British mega-conglomerate Whitbread announced it's highly successful Costa Coffee chain had agreed a new contract with Spanish side Atletico Madrid. The Blues' high profile chase of Costa has been ongoing since the summer, but it would appear that José Mourinho's men will now have to splash out upwards of £40 million to secure the coffee brand's rights in the next transfer window. The Blues' hopes of adding the Costa brand to their ranks have suffered a big blow. _______________________________ Elsewhere, the Blues have revealed a link with the world's most famous cartoon family - the Simpsons. The iconic series - now in it's 26th season - will feature Blues players Fernando Torres, Frank Lampard, Petr Cech, Eden Hazard and John Terry. Mere logic disctates that the most obvious storyline the show might follow could see the witless Homer Simpson become the new Blues boss - and after a series of sub-standard results, Terry takes his revenge by bedding Homer's wife, Marge. How the Chelsea-related episode may pan out. _______________________________ Matic turned away at Stansted Chelsea's midfield destroyer Nemanja Matic was banned from flying on the club's flight to Istanbul for the midweek game against Galatasaray. Airport officials prohibited the crazy Serbian from joining his team-mates after he stepped through the terminal's metal detectors. Thankfully, having played in the Champions League for Benfica already this season, the Blues' number 21 was cup-tied anyway, meaning he couldn't play. That ruling is something that seems to have gone straight over the heads of some seriously retarded Manchester United fans, who are calling for David Moyes' head after the former Everton boss didn't play (the also cup-tied) Juan Mata against Olympiakos. It would seem that Moyes and United is a match made in heaven. _______________________________ In other news... Elsewhere in the world of football, Cardiff City Chinese Dragons FC's megalomaniac owner Vincent Tan feels he has been bastardised by the British media. Tan feels that after sacking the incredibly popular Malky McKay and replacing him with a bloke who has looked about 15 years old for the past three decades, as well as putting the club up for sale in 2007, 2008, 2009, 2010 and 2011 - AND changing the club's crest and kit colour from blue to red - that he has been harshly treated. He also feels as if he has been made to look like a villain by the press, joining a long list of seriously misunderstood nice-guys like Adolf Hitler, Josef Stalin and Emperor Palpatine. Tan wants the fans who oppose him to apologise. Good luck. As well as that, Tottenham Hotspur caused ructions in European football with (what their fans are saying is) one of the greatest ever comebacks to beat Dnipro Dnipropetrovsk 3-2 on aggregate, having been 0-2 down. If you haven't heard of them, they're a small team from London. The DVD should be released imminently. Click here to view the article

Cheating bastard who's now cheated to get two players sent off this season - last night, and Torres in the 1-1 at WHL earlier in the season. Fully deserved this;

This has brought back so much disguised rage hidden away inside me. Excuse me while I go and invade a small country. Lichtenstein, beware.

CUSTOM PACKAGINGGG

Hazard and Butland () are just toooo damned bootylicious.

You have to give some credit to him - I was sure he'd miss

I suffered a similar set-back. I hope to do a Masters and then a PhD, but my hopes of doing the latter were dashed by two sub-par results (from my point of view - they were excellent grades, but not quite good enough!). I still feel very disappointed. But we have these disappointments because, I am sure, better things will follow instead. So knuckle down, focus on your studies and motivate yourself to do better. Let the disappointment fuel you, and tell yourself "I will not experience that again". That's what the best of us do.