Vesper

2020-21 UEFA Champions League, Round of 16 Real Madrid Atalanta http://www.sportnews.to/mysports/2021/champions-league-real-madrid-vs-atalanta-s2/ https://www.totalsportek.com/page-3/

2020-21 UEFA Champions League, Round of 16 Manchester City Borussia Monchengladbach http://www.sportnews.to/mysports/2021/champions-league-manchester-city-vs-borussia-mgladbach-s1/ https://www.totalsportek.com/page-4/

Ole Gunnar Solskjaer seals new Man Utd contract as club hero gets huge pay increase The Red Devils boss is about to enter the final year of his current contract, but he has secured an agreement on a new deal amid several Old Trafford changes https://www.mirror.co.uk/sport/football/news/ole-gunnar-solskjaer-seals-new-23710942

A pitiful state of affairs that often leads to painful introspection Next up: Real Madrid v Atalanta. Photograph: Gabriel Bouys/AFP/Getty Images Scott Murray FIFTEEN MINUTES OF INFAMY Earlier on Tuesday afternoon, The Fiver finally stopped emitting the peals of loud, rich, booming, theatrical, industrial-strength laughter that began when Juventus got themselves knocked out of Big Cup during the week in which the brains of their operation, Andrea Agnelli, revealed plans to reconfigure the very same tournament in ways designed to benefit certain badly-run behemoths. The continuous seven-day guffaw marathon came at a heavy cost to The Fiver, who dislodged two items in its special area, and is now sitting in a tepid puddle. But, on balance, it was still worth it. One hundred million euros for that, yet further away from the dream than ever. What a business! David Squires on … Agnelli and the Champions League fans of tomorrow Read more But The Fiver isn’t exactly a roaring success story itself, a pitiful state of affairs that often leads to painful introspection. What if Agnelli was making a semblance of a point? What if he’s actually on to something? After all, the group stage of Big Cup is boring, and the Round of Arsenal/PSG/Barça/Juve isn’t much better. Look at Tuesday’s fare. Manchester City, who have won 148 games in a row against teams not managed by Ole Gunnar Solskjær, take on a Borussia Mönchengladbach side that has lost their past six, with two away goals in their pocket. Meanwhile Real Madrid also host a tie having already won the away leg, against a side who earlier in the season shipped five against Blackeye Rovers ‘96 revivalists Liverpool, for goodness sake. So this proposal of Agnelli’s, which includes a scheme to televise only the last 15 minutes of matches to some of the new attention-deficient generation, might not be so whacko after all. Nobody loves Slow TV more than The Fiver, but if you’re going to put your feet up, roll a few tots of malt around the tongue and stare at a screen in a mellow mood for a two-hour brain-in-neutral stretch, better to watch a barge traverse a west-country canal than the likes of Thomas Doyle and Cole Palmer getting a rare run-out against some mid-table Bundesliga also-rans. A quick blast of City’s tyros for a quarter of an hour? Not so much of a problem. We might give it a try later, in fact, only tuning in at 9.30pm GMT, the time when even a stopped clock like Agnelli can be proved right every day. Less, please! LIVE ON BIG WEBSITE Join Paul Doyle from 8pm GMT for hot Big Cup MBM coverage of Manchester City 2-1 Gladbach (agg: 4-1), while Scott Murray will be on hand for Real Madrid 3-3 Atalanta (agg: 4-3). QUOTE OF THE DAY “I want to do something productive. If you are a banker you can do that for all your life, but if you are a footballer once you hit your mid-30s, you have to find something else to do … I see some similarities to football. In football if not all the team is perfect you will not win. It’s the same with a watch, if everything is not perfectly in place the watch is not going to work” – former Juventus, Arsenal and Switzerland defender Stephan Lichtsteiner on starting a six-month internship with Zurich watchmaker Maurice de Mauriac. Perhaps the Gunners’ current skipper should give him a call. Stephan Lichtsteiner during his internship at the production facility in Zurich. Obviously. Photograph: Arnd Wiegmann/Reuters FIVER LETTER “Seven years into owner Dejphon Chansiri’s three-year plan to get Sheffield Wednesday into the Premier League, we are still in the Championship (although only for the next two months). Back in November we were second from bottom, so to reverse our fortunes the owner sacked Garry Monk, who had a rather pitiful 31% win ratio and replaced him with Tony Pulis, who himself was sacked due to his even more pitiful 10% win ratio with the club still second from bottom. He was replaced by Darren Moore, who currently has a 0% win ratio, albeit after only three games, leaving us … yep, second from bottom. If only Chansiri was aware that changing the manager rarely makes a difference, something he could have learnt from Big Paper time and time again” – Noble Francis. Send your letters to [email protected]. And you can always tweet The Fiver via @guardian_sport. Today’s winner of our prizeless letter o’the day is … Noble Francis. RECOMMENDED LOOKING It’s David Squires on … Andrea Agnelli and the Big Cup fans of tomorrow. Here we go! Illustration: David Squires/The Guardian RECOMMENDED VIEWING If you missed it yesterday, here’s a screamer from Bulgaria that ultimately counted for nought as the game was abandoned. NEWS, BITS AND BOBS Rui Patrício did not require hospital treatment after his horrible collision with Conor Coady but will be assessed by Wolves’ medical staff. Think your club is in crisis? Dinamo Zagreb coach Zoran Mamic has quit after being sentenced to four years in jail for fraud. “Although I don’t feel guilty, I resign as I said before I would do if the sentence was confirmed,” he tooted. “I wish all the good luck to the club.” Zlatan Ibrahimovic, 94, is set to play in the European Championship after being recalled by Sweden for the first time since his international retirement in 2016. “The return of the God,” he parped in a social media disgrace post that doubtless elicited a measured response from the Robbie Fowler fan club. Southampton netbuster Che Adams has been called up to the Scotland squad for the first time. Adams, who played for England U-20s, qualifies through a maternal grandparent and a nagging feeling that Gareth Southgate only has eyes for Danny Ings when he comes to watch Southampton. Matteo Guendouzi says he will “work hard for the shirt” when he returns to Arsenal after his loan at Hertha Berlin. “We will sit down with my entourage and people at the club to discuss the future,” cheered the 21-year-old. “This summer will be a decisive moment. I belong to Arsenal for another year. I will give ever …” Hang on, he said entourage! And Arsène Wenger, with his Fifa global development hat on, reckons the World Cup and Euros should be held every two years. “Kick all the rest out,” he roared, as the Nations League sheepishly waved in the background. “Organise only competitions of meaning and kick all the parallel competitions out of the game. People must understand what is at stake and only have games with meaning.” STILL WANT MORE? $tevie Mbe isn’t the first Liverpool legend to win the title as O’Rangers manager. Steven Pye looks back at the 1986-87 season, when Graeme Souness put his unique stamp on Scottish football. There you go. Photograph: Colorsport/Rex/Shutterstock From the archive: The Joy of Six – rabonas. Oh, and if it’s your thing … you can follow Big Website on Big Social FaceSpace. And INSTACHAT, TOO! CONGRATULATIONS TO FAR MORE TALENTED COLLEAGUES OF THE FIVER

the last time Getafe scored against AM November 6th, 2011 From 2008 thru 2011, they had a decent multi-year year run vs Atleti 3 wins, 3 draws 2 losses before that they were shit only 1 win and two draws from 2001 to 2008, 6 losses

Who’s the greatest: Messi or Ronaldo? The answer is obvious Cristiano Ronaldo does it again. Photograph: Xinhua/Shutterstock Scott Murray A TRANSPARENT AND CHILDISH ATTEMPT TO ANNOY It’s the question that’s been on everyone’s lips for years and years. Who’s the greatest: Messi or Ronaldo? The answer, as regular Fiver readers already know, is neither. Which is not to say that everyone’s favourite two contemporary superclub-shielded good-time Charlies aren’t amazing players in their own right – you can tell that by the sheer number of goals the pair have been bloodlessly running up – but in terms of windswept romance they’re nowhere near the likes of Obdulio Varela, Josef Masopust or Florian Albert [stop it, you’re trying too hard - Fiver Ed.] Cruyff, Maradona or Pelé. Ah Pelé. Po’ Pelé. The great man’s stock has inexplicably fallen with the cognoscenti in recent years, his feats too shrouded by the mists of time for many today, yet too enshrined in the canon to attract the hipsters. No matter that he won two World Cups practically by himself while being kicked around like an old sock; established Santos as Os Santásticos, the best side in the world with a nickname to match; practically invented the concept of Brazil as a modern go-ahead nation; and spent the last knockings of his career preaching love to the Cosmos while lounging around Studio 54 in sunglasses Miles Davis would have thought twice about. This ... this is our guy. Ronaldo embraces perfection as he declares himself ahead of Pelé | Nicky Bandini Read more Sadly our hero’s legacy suffered a new blow at the weekend, as Cristiano Ronaldo rattled in a hat-trick against Cagliari, goals that took his professional tally to 770, three more than Pelé’s official record of 767. “I’m filled with joy and pride as I acknowledge the goal that puts me on top of the world’s goalscoring list, overcoming Pelé’s record, something that I could never have dreamed of while growing up as a child from Madeira,” he waffled on some internet platform or other, while Pelé himself offered “congratulations”, although the most striking bit of Pelé’s statement was “Life is a solo flight, each makes his own journey”, the sort of new-age hokum one expects from a man who spent a chunk of the seventies staring blankly at women riding white horses around nightclub dancefloors. Thing is, there’s a slight problem with this supposedly epochal moment in sporting history: the Czech FA claims Josef Bican scored 821 times, Romário says he notched 1,000 goals, and some historians argue Pelé’s total is in fact 1,283, a number boosted by some trademark net-bothering antics in “unofficial” matches. So who to believe? Regular Fiver readers already know our answer to this one as well. Yes, O Rei is still atop his throne. Better get cracking, Cristiano, just another 514 to go. LIVE ON BIG WEBSITE Join Scott Murray at 8pm GMT for red-hot updates of Wolves 1-3 Liverpool. QUOTE OF THE DAY “I am older than Mr Zinchenko, I have more experience and I don’t agree with him. The only thing he has to be worried about is trying to do a good game tomorrow. Four titles is a utopia” – Pep Guardiola gives his young full-back a dressing down over his claims Manchester City can win a quadruple. ‘The first rule of Quadruple Club, is that you do not talk about Quadruple Club’. Photograph: Matt McNulty - Manchester City/Manchester City FC/Getty Images RECOMMENDED LISTENING It’s Football Weekly, with North London derby chat and the question: what now for post-Wilder Sheffield United? FIVER LETTERS “Re: Pep moaning about the grass at the Etihad (Friday’s Fiver), I just lament the fact that they’ve already played Leeds at Elland Road so Guardiola won’t get to experience football on a surface more slippery than a Fiver hack trying to explain why they were three hours late for work holding a can of Purple Tin” – Jeremy Adams. “Yes, let’s get rid of punditry (Friday’s Fiver letters). And co-commentators who clearly could be top coaches such is their wont to tell players what they should have done seconds after they did something else. Des in the studio, Brian in the box, and Saint and Greavsie to mop things up at the back. Happy days” – Peter Hehir. “While it’s far from time to say There She Goes to the Ligue 1 title, PSG did themselves no favours by losing to relegation battlers on Sunday. The hosts’ coffers were the much heavier-laden but, in terms of the result, the guests’ sixpence, Nantes, the richer” – Peter Oh. “Noble Francis had three (pretty good) letters published in The Fiver last week and didn’t win letter o’ the day (prizeless or otherwise) once. Can you give him some sort of Peter O’Toole-style honorary award or something?” – Andy Korman. Send your letters to [email protected]. And you can always tweet The Fiver via @guardian_sport. Today’s winner of our prizeless letter o’the day is … Peter Hehir. RECOMMENDED VIEWING If it’s weird goalkeeping from Poland you want, then this should hit the spot. NEWS, BITS AND BOBS Mason Greenwood and Callum Hudson-Odoi have been called up for what looks a very strong England Under-21 Euro 2021 squad. The finals are split between Hungary and Slovenia and a group stage in March and June, when the knockout rounds take place. Ángel Di María was substituted during PSG’s Ligue 1 defeat to Nantes, amid reports that his home had been robbed while his family were at the property. Teammate Marquinhos is also believed to have been targeted. Lee Bowyer has marched himself out of the Charlton Athletic door marked ‘Do One’ and looks headed for Birmingham City. “Everyone knows how I feel about the club,” wailed Bowyer. “It will always hold a special place in my heart.” Birmingham, Lee? Photograph: Richard Sellers/PA Fifa has opened disciplinary cases against three Russian footballers for suspected doping violations in 2013. Funds in excess of £16m are being made available for the return of grassroots football at the end of March. And Nat Phillips, the latest occupant of Liverpool’s centre-back drumming stool, hopes he can convince Jürgen Klopp he is around for the long haul. “My thought process is take things day by day, game by game, and try and improve,” he roared, while trying to head the sun out of the sky. STILL WANT MORE? The Premier League never really stops these days, but we’ve still carved out 10 talking points to take away from the weekend’s games. Even a moment of jaw-dropping magic from Érik Lamela couldn’t save a desperately defensive Tottenham side, laments Barney Ronay. Cristiano Ronaldo continues to rack up individual records even in a disappointing season for Juventus, writes Nicky Bandini. It’s one step forward and two steps back once again for Bayer Leverkusen, writes Andy Brassell in his Bundesliga review. Ligue Urrrrn latest: Jorge Sampaoli may be a fiery South American visionary, but that doesn’t mean he will recreate Marcelo Bielsa’s magic at Marseille. Introducing the ‘Swiss system’ would take away what little drama Big Cup has left, laments Jonathan Wilson. Barney Ronay takes a look at Pep’s Big Cup prospects at Manchester City, complete with a cracking illustration. Yes! Illustration: Nathan Daniels/The Guardian Oh, and if it’s your thing … you can follow Big Website on Big Social FaceSpace. And INSTACHAT, TOO! BOGGY BRILLIANCE

Most successful COVID-19 players worldwide Issue number 329 of the CIES Football Observatory Weekly Post highlights footballers having won the highest percentage of domestic league matches in which they participated as starting 11 players since the 15th March 2020. The sample covers 42 top divisions worldwide. It only includes footballers who started at least 20 games in their current league (regular season or play-off matches). The greatest success rate overall was recorded for Red Star Belgrade’s Milan Gajić (21 wins out of 22 fixtures), while Bayern Munich’s Serge Gnabry leads the table for the big-5 (21/23). The most successful post-COVID players in the other four major European championships are Bernardo Silva (Manchester City) for the Premier League, Mario Hermoso (Atlético de Madrid) for the Liga, Jonathan David (LOSC) for Ligue 1 and Alexis Saelemaekers (Milan) for Serie A. At the opposite end of the table, Bastian Oczipka (Schalke 04) did not win any of the 23 German Bundesliga matches played as a starting 11 player. The lowest success rates in the other major European leagues were observed for Sam Johnstone (West Bromwich Albion, 2/27) in England, Anaitz Arbilla (Eibar, 2/21) in Spain, Simone Iacoponi (Parma, 2/22) in Italy and Bruno Ecuélé Manga (Dijon, 2/28) in France.

oh, come on everyone knows Mark Noble is the equal of Leon Goretzka 🤣

Manu v West Ham http://www.sportnews.to/mysports/2021/premier-league-manchester-united-vs-west-ham-united-s1/ https://www.totalsportek.com/page-4/

2020-21 English Premier League Crystal Palace West Bromwich Albion http://www.sportnews.to/mysports/2021/premier-league-crystal-palace-vs-west-bromwich-albion-s1/ https://www.totalsportek.com/page-4/

Ziyech is steady looking like a bust would be my first bust call for the new lads 80% there

100% on Lamps, he simply was not remotely ready to manage a monster team

Rudiger MOTM Mendy 2nd AC third

AC made some key plays too

FUCK 😔🤬

fuck off this nil nil shit against a shit team 6 points dropped now against trash

shit, only 3 minutes added on

every fucking shot straight at their keeper

10 minutes or so to score and pull this out

Chilwell is having a shocker just horrid

CHO on

I am so so frustrated

blatant foul on Havertz, no call, grrr

it is amazing how much he and Ziyech fell off from their early season form

thread winner 💙