Lapo Blues

A Man.U fan and a Manchester City fan were sentenced to death by firing squad.The officer in charge asked the Manchester City fan if he had a last request. 'Yes' replied the City Fan, 'I'm a keen City Supporter, and I videoed the last game Manchester City played. Could I watch the video before I die?' 'No Problem', replied the officer, 'I'll get the men to rig up a large screen, and you can watch it from here'.Then turning to the Man U. Fan, he asked 'And what about you, do you have a last request?''Yes', he replied, 'Shoot me first'.

He was in ecstasy with a huge smile on his face as his wife moved forward, then backwards, forward, then backwards again…… back and forth… back and forth….. in and out……. She could feel the sweat on her forehead, between her breasts and trickling down the small of her back. She was getting near to the end. Her heart was pounding….. her face was flushed….. Then she moaned, softly at first, then began to groan louder. Finally, totally exhausted, she let out an almighty scream and shouted, “Okay, Okay!!! I can’t park the fooking car!!! You do it, you smug bastard!!!”

For those of you (unlike me) who have daughters of a certain age, the following is informative: — One day a father, on his way home from work suddenly remembers that it’s his daughter’s birthday. He stops at a toy store and goes in and asks the sales person, ‘How much for one of those Barbie’s in the display window?’ The salesperson answers, ‘Which one do you mean, Sir? We have: Work Out Barbie for £19.95, Shopping Barbie for £19.95, Beach Barbie for £19.95, Disco Barbie for £19.95, Astronaut Barbie for £19.95, Skater Barbie for £19.95, and Divorced Barbie for £265.95’. The amazed father asks: ‘It’s what? Why is the Divorced Barbie £265.95 and the others only £19.95?’ The slightly miffed salesgirl rolls her eyes, sighs, and answers: ‘Look, Sir…, Divorced Barbie comes with: Ken’s Truck, Ken’s House, Ken’s Fishing Boat, Ken’s Furniture, Ken’s Dog, Ken’s Computer, one of Ken’s Friends, and a key chain made from Ken’s testicles.’ Hmmmm…..

I lost words on Jose. But what's the solution for now on? Sack him? Is that a solution or just panic reaction?

There once was a French cunt named Wenger, In-club for more than thousand games bender, Got stuffed by José's blender, Well, hip hip hooray, thanks to Stan’s wiener, The specialist of failures won’t fuck off, forever.

Arsenal on top of the EPL table is like an elephant on top of a tree. Nobody knows how it got there, but everybody knows how it will fall.

Arsenal are those guys who buy drinks for the chick for the whole night then Man City come in at 2 am and go home with her.

Alexis Sanchez fails medical test at Emirates after inhaling dust from the trophy less cabinet.