The Pub - Discuss Anything

[Barbara 15,149]

It really doesn't matter now. Story is this. She has a boyfriend, she's in Brazil. Her boyfriend is not. We meet. She started texting me. We got flirty. The more I knew about her, the more I fell for her. I started hitting on her like for real, not just for fun. She resisted for some time. One day she came to my appartment and we ended up kissing. Later she said it was a mistake and it would never happen again. But we continued meeting and it happened again and again and again and it went even further. After some time she said she felt like she should confess me something - that she was really not THAT into me, but when she was with me she felt like when she was with her boyfriend, she said sometimes she could even see him in me. I kinda feel like she expected me to dump her after she said that, but we kept hanging out. One day we had an argument and I said some things that made her feel really bad about cheating on her boyfriend and we started talking a lot less. Then some days later we had another argument and we stopped talking to each other.

Recently she texted me and we started talking again - I apologized for everything I said and did, she said she was really pissed off with me after the last fight. It kinda felt like we're ok now after the talking. But I don't think she wants anything else with me and she's about to go away.

Any insights?

no kidding, man, that's sort of messed up.

First of all, the whole thinking of him while being with you? bullshit. If that was the case and her boyfriend was so present in her thoughts she wouldn't have cheated and if you implied anything less than than, you were right. The thing is she now feels guilty, but you're a guilty pleasure, so she keeps coming for more, especially when you backed off. There's nothing that makes a woman go crazier than giving her the cold shoulder after a fight - or in most situations if I'm honest. We do like the attention.

Well, she's going to Belgium, as she was only on vacation, what do you expect out of it? Do you want to continue to hang out and possibly more while she's still here or do you think maybe you could get a better deal out of it? The former is quite possible - and I would again say jump with both feet in - but then you mentioned you fell for her. Don't want to make the heartbreak harder. Now the latter seems unlikely - sorry.

If she indulged once and was the one trying to keep in touch again, trust me, she's all for going there again, you just have to play her buttons right. now is that what you want? A few more days? Won't it make it worse after she leaves?

[Dion 2,476]

no kidding, man, that's sort of messed up.

First of all, the whole thinking of him while being with you? bullshit. If that was the case and her boyfriend was so present in her thoughts she wouldn't have cheated and if you implied anything less than than, you were right. The thing is she now feels guilty, but you're a guilty pleasure, so she keeps coming for more, especially when you backed off. There's nothing that makes a woman go crazier than giving her the cold shoulder after a fight - or in most situations if I'm honest. We do like the attention.

Well, she's going to Belgium, as she was only on vacation, what do you expect out of it? Do you want to continue to hang out and possibly more while she's still here or do you think maybe you could get a better deal out of it? The former is quite possible - and I would again say jump with both feet in - but then you mentioned you fell for her. Don't want to make the heartbreak harder. Now the latter seems unlikely - sorry.

If she indulged once and was the one trying to keep in touch again, trust me, she's all for going there again, you just have to play her buttons right. now is that what you want? A few more days? Won't it make it worse after she leaves?

That's kinda of how I felt the whole time. Like she wanted to be with me, but at the same time she would try to make me go away from her. I just want to spend all the time I got left with her before she leaves. Ideally I'd like her to stay here in Brazil as well, hahahaha. But neither seem possible as of right now. I think we'll hang out one last time to say goodbye but I don't think I'll even get a goodbye kiss

PS: actually she was an exchange student, not just staying for vacations

[Rmpr 8,977]

According to Barbara's advice, I got almost everything right Dion!

[Dion 2,476]

According to Barbara's advice, I got almost everything right Dion!

Yeah, but it's not as simple as that. I was just making a summary. One day she told me she didn't like guys very much. And that she thought I was a guy, while her boyfriend was a man. Like... she doesn't make any sense. How can she see her boyfriend in me if he's a MAN and I'm a GUY ffs. Why did she even kiss me if I'm a fucking guy? Unbelievable.

[Barbara 15,149]

That's kinda of how I felt the whole time. Like she wanted to be with me, but at the same time she would try to make me go away from her. I just want to spend all the time I got left with her before she leaves. Ideally I'd like her to stay here in Brazil as well, hahahaha. But neither seem possible as of right now. I think we'll hang out one last time to say goodbye but I don't think I'll even get a goodbye kiss

PS: actually she was an exchange student, not just staying for vacations

What exactly do want out of it? A kiss? More? I need to know what you want to know if I can attempt to help - not that I'll succeed, but I can still give you the perspective.

How old are both of you?

And I was asking what you want because I wasn't sure if you wanted to cut your losses and let her go so it would hurt less or if you were up to a last hurrah

[Rmpr 8,977]

Yeah, but it's not as simple as that. I was just making a summary. One day she told me she didn't like guys very much. And that she thought I was a guy, while her boyfriend was a man. Like... she doesn't make any sense. How can she see her boyfriend in me if he's a MAN and I'm a GUY. Why did she even kiss me if I'm a fucking guy? Unbelievable.

I cant answer that!

Barbara or Tom, any help?

[Dion 2,476]

We should have a topic for sentimental advices.

[Stingray 9,441]

What exactly do want out of it? A kiss? More? I need to know what you want to know if I can attempt to help - not that I'll succeed, but I can still give you the perspective.

How old are both of you?

And I was asking what you want because I wasn't sure if you wanted to cut your losses and let her go so it would hurt less or if you were up to a last hurrah

One last hurrah?

@rmpr : i am out of the debate I fear. Barbara will have to explain this one ....

[Dion 2,476]

One last hurrah?

@rmpr : i am out of the debate I fear. Barbara will have to explain this one ....

Come on, give the belgian perspective

[Barbara 15,149]

According to Barbara's advice, I got almost everything right Dion!

I never gave any advice thought. That was mere an assessment.

[Barbara 15,149]

One last hurrah?

@rmpr : i am out of the debate I fear. Barbara will have to explain this one ....

I didn't push you out of debate. I said a girls perspective can add something a man's perspective can't no matter how much of a dog he is (and I'm not evaluating you in the department just to make it clear).

The best is to have both and combine what feels more suitable for the situation, don't you think @Dion

[Dion 2,476]

What exactly do want out of it? A kiss? More? I need to know what you want to know if I can attempt to help - not that I'll succeed, but I can still give you the perspective.

How old are both of you?

And I was asking what you want because I wasn't sure if you wanted to cut your losses and let her go so it would hurt less or if you were up to a last hurrah

I don't know. What do you think I can still get out of this? I'm 23, she's 19.

[Liquidator 5,176]

I made shortbread today. The person I was making it with fucked it up though. She said she was good at cooking too!

[Dion 2,476]

I made shortbread today. The person I was making it with fucked it up though. She said she was good at cooking too!

The only thing I can "cook" is fried eggs and hamburguer. I'm woeful.

[Stingray 9,441]

I didn't push you out of debate. I said a girls perspective can add something a man's perspective can't no matter how much of a dog he is (and I'm not evaluating you in the department just to make it clear).

The best is to have both and combine what feels more suitable for the situation, don't you think @Dion

I dont feel pushed out, silly. Its just not my area

[Rmpr 8,977]

One last hurrah?

@rmpr : i am out of the debate I fear. Barbara will have to explain this one ....

Fuck this Barbabra girl, I want you back!

[Barbara 15,149]

I dont feel pushed out, silly. Its just not my area

good thing we're good.

Fuck this Barbabra girl, I want you back!

you might want to revise your punctuation, I don't know if you want to fuck me, if you want me to fuck off or something entirely different.

[Stingray 9,441]

good thing we're good.

you might want to revise your punctuation, I don't know if you want to fuck me, if you want me to fuck off or something entirely different.

Or all of the above. First fuck, then fuck off and then something else - like a beer perhaps

@rmpr : thanks mate!!!

[Dion 2,476]

In all seriousness, the guy-man thing was the most insulting thing I've ever heard from a girl. I would have preferred if she called me gay or said I have a small penis. I acted like I didn't care but oh boy was I pissed.

[Stingray 9,441]

Small penis would hurt man ......

Sorry @dion .... It is stronger than me. I couldnt resist.