Fulham Broadway 17,315 Posted May 26, 2009 Share Posted May 26, 2009 BENITEZ HANDED £20m TO PISS STRAIGHT UP A WALL LIVERPOOL coach Rafael Benitez was last night handed a £20m transfer budget to spend on one big-name signing or shit away on a collection of abject losers that you've never heard of. Will Benitez just spend it all on lovely sweets? In the wake of a strong title challenge the club's owners want to reward the Anfield support with a range of exciting new faces for them to dismiss as utterly useless by mid-August. Benitez said: "The squad clearly needs several additions and there are some great prospects out there. However, I do also have my eye on a 300-foot-high mountain of penny chews." Despite successful signings such as Torres and Mascherano, Benitez was criticised in 2007 for paying £13m for a small lump of organic matter that, given 240 million years, may evolve into useful utility left-back. This followed his 2006 signing of Roy Of The Rovers, who, despite his numerous accolades and undoubted skill, was obviously a fictional character and therefore ineligible to play in the Champion's League. Sources suggest Benitez will spend the entire budget on Carlos Tevez and has already ordered a set of stout metal chains and a daily supply of steaming lumps of meat. The Liverpool boss has told friends he can end Manchester United's dominance by spending an enormous amount of money on a player they have deemed surplus to requirements for quite some time. But Benitez's plans may be thwarted by Manchester City, whose billionaire owners plan to buy every sentient creature on the planet in an audacious £74 billion swoop. City boss Mark Hughes said: "Once I control all the legs there are, I do think we've got a realistic chance of a top six finish." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
warnie_666 1,081 Posted May 27, 2009 Share Posted May 27, 2009 Benitez will get more than that. to buy Barry(15million) and Sliva (17million) and some 15-20million to buy some striker. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fulham Broadway 17,315 Posted May 27, 2009 Author Share Posted May 27, 2009 £20million not to be taken literally. Just indicative of cash hes spunked away on people like Josemi, Nunez, Morientes, Kronkamp, Gonzalez, Bellamy, Itanje, Pennant, =£50 million + ...oh and £20 million for Keane. The jury is still out on Babel Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SystemBlueBob 0 Posted May 27, 2009 Share Posted May 27, 2009 Rafa is by far the most over-rated, over-hyped man in the game. I mean that too I want him to spend billions this off-season just to hear their fans cry as they finish next season in 2nd or 3rd yet again in all title hunts Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laylabelle 9,535 Posted May 27, 2009 Share Posted May 27, 2009 Better off buying sweets!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jessman 9 Posted May 28, 2009 Share Posted May 28, 2009 I thought they wanted to snatch Tevez? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
terry26 6 Posted May 30, 2009 Share Posted May 30, 2009 my money's on him buying Robbie Keane again Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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