The story of Martin Bengtsson

[OneMoSalah 8,778]

Basically this is a former youth player who had trials with Inter us and Ajax who has written a very interesting book about his time as a professional footballer. He said that he tried to kill himself as a way out while playing in Inter Milan's youth team and he branded Inter similar to a prison.

Former Inter Milan youngster likens the club to a prison

Former Inter Milan player Martin Bengtsson has revealed how he tried to slit his wrists because of depression.

After trials with Chelsea and Ajax, Bengtsson joined Inter at 17 but described his time at the club's youth academy as like "being in a prison".

"I needed to escape and the razors became my way out. I cut as hard as I could, I needed to get out," he said.

The Italian club refused to comment on the conditions inside their youth academy when contacted by BBC Sport.

"I was really sick, I heard voices and I started to lose the feeling of whether it was night or day," he added.

"What I remember is that I was walking around in a big cloud and I couldn't handle it anymore."

Ahead of Sunday's Milan derby, Bengtsson has told the BBC's World Football programme how his time at Inter became unbearable after some youth players were caught smoking marijuana.

"They had a problem at the training camp and we got punished because (some players) had smoked marijuana on a balcony and we got a punishment, all the players, even those who hadn't had anything to do with it," said Bengtsson, who was born in Sweden.

"For a couple months we almost lost our freedom to go out of our house in Milan and to buy groceries. I got very depressed by the feeling of being in a prison and being locked in."

Bengtsson turned to music as his salvation, buying a guitar and writing songs. But this inadvertently led to him reaching a crisis point.

"One day after I came back from a match with the Swedish national team in Finland, the cleaning lady had thrown all my papers away, all my lyrics and everything," he said.

"For me, that was a very big thing because that was my soul on the floor there."

It was that which led to his attempt to take his own life. Although he is thankful he survived, his football dream was over.

Bengtsson eventually formed an industrial punk rock group called Waldemaar and is now also working on a novel. But he has a warning for young players with dreams of making it as a professional.

"There's something very, very wrong with the way of treating players and the mentality of how we see if you're strong enough," he said.

"You become a stone in many ways and it's hard for you to then go out in the real world and start a new life because you have so much anger within you."

http://www.bbc.co.uk...otball/19842659

Also a radio interview with him in this.

http://www.bbc.co.uk...to_a_nightmare/

Rather interesting to see this, we all know of the successes of youth players like Ronaldo, Messi, Neymar, Pele etc who all made/ are making it and become stars but I've never read anything like this. Rather sad to see that a footballer tried to kill himself because of the pressure of being a modern day footballer.

[diskoviolente 425]

That is the much needed perspective on professional sports, not just football but in general. Stuff like that is the reasion why I find it hard to call a footballer "shit" or something similar. They are not, they left so many people behind them, sacrificed their private and emotional life to play football. Yes, one might say they earn shatloads of money , and they do, and in fact everyone who goes to a fucking 9 to 5 sacrifices, but for watching and playing football, I think it is important to see stuff like this story.

Thanks for posting it, Ryan.

[Kieran. 6,317]

Shocking, hope all is well with Mr. Bengtsson. He clearly has/had his own demons, but this should be looked into.

[OneMoSalah 8,778]

Shocking, hope all is well with Mr. Bengtsson. He clearly has/had his own demons, but this should be looked into.

He has recovered well according to himself in that interview with someone from the BBC. He's now part of a band.

Its quite interesting to hear a story like that about a young man who, was what a year older than what I am, talking about how he felt depressed at 17 despite doing something he has dreamed about doing for years. Inter Milan refused to comment on this story btw, so maybe the problem didn't just lie within him as it looks from the outside...

[Spike 12,049]

Ajax would have to be worst for it. They pretty much prep young boys up to be footballer and sell them for a profit. Sometimes I don't even think that Ajax even cares about winning trophies, as long as the keep making young talent to sell to the highest bidder, the brass will be happy.

Footballers are poeple too. It's hard to sympathise with Ronaldo esque player but youth players and lower leaguer players are a lot easier to relate to.

[OneMoSalah 8,778]

Ajax would have to be worst for it. They pretty much prep young boys up to be footballer and sell them for a profit. Sometimes I don't even think that Ajax even cares about winning trophies, as long as the keep making young talent to sell to the highest bidder, the brass will be happy.

Footballers are poeple too. It's hard to sympathise with Ronaldo esque player but youth players and lower leaguer players are a lot easier to relate to.

Yeah even that tv show about Zlatan years ago at Malmo showed a useful insight into clubs selling younger talents to the highest bidder regardless if they want to stay or not. Luckily it worked out for him and hes been vastly successful in his career but others like Bengtsson who was sold to Inter at 17 suffered and eventually left football due to problems from his experiences.

[Kieran. 6,317]

He has recovered well according to himself in that interview with someone from the BBC. He's now part of a band.

Yes I'm aware, but I was saying that because he could be hiding the depression and such. Just hope all is well with the lad. Depression is the fucking worst.

[OneMoSalah 8,778]

Yes I'm aware, but I was saying that because he could be hiding the depression and such. Just hope all is well with the lad. Depression is the fucking worst.

Oh yeah... it would be terrible if he hadn't gotten out of that "place" as he called it. Yeah depression is terrible

[ZanSnake 1,211]

How old is he know? Doesn't say in that extract.

Really shows the harshness of fighting for the limelight, an dhaving people cheering go into jeering with people expecting everything from you, which you can't do over-night. One problem with the prospect of a spectator is the kind of idolisation they normally have for youth players, team players or ex-club legends one moment, but could turn into another thing in a minute. Dean Windass went through a similar thing like that after retiring, couldn't handle being a non-player and the legend status on him and tried to hang himself - he did have his own personal demons alongside, such as the breakdown of his marriage with his high-school sweetheart.

[OneMoSalah 8,778]

How old is he know? Doesn't say in that extract.

Really shows the harshness of fighting for the limelight, an dhaving people cheering go into jeering with people expecting everything from you, which you can't do over-night. One problem with the prospect of a spectator is the kind of idolisation they normally have for youth players, team players or ex-club legends one moment, but could turn into another thing in a minute. Dean Windass went through a similar thing like that after retiring, couldn't handle being a non-player and the legend status on him and tried to hang himself - he did have his own personal demons alongside, such as the breakdown of his marriage with his high-school sweetheart.

I'd imagine Bengtsson would be in his late 20s now surely.