Leif

Every time Torres misses a shot, a newborn kitten dies.

New rule: Don't bet on Chelsea if Torres starts.

Any other striker would have a hat trick..

Torres on grass is like Bambi on ice.

If I had a wife i'd be beating her right now because of this score

Essien in his prime was basically Ramires with less pace, a better shot, equal (probably) stamina, better tackling, better positioning, better strength, better vision I could go on and on. We had Makelele - We now have Mikel (no offence to him). We had Drogba - now Torres. Carvalho and now Cahill. Just... does anyone see how massively we've downgraded our spine? It's awful.

THE REF IS TRYING TO FINGER EVA!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Torres's pass completion at the moment is 45%. 19 touches, 3 shots, 1 dribble.

Could have countered there. I wonder who fucked it up.

Our players need to be taught positioning. That is all.

Someone break Torres's legs so Moses can go up front please

"You do feel for him, Torres" shut the fuck up you fucking awful commentator, jesus christ. you haven't said one good thing yet.

Either learn how to be a good diver or don't fall down after everything you blonde pansy

"SPARTA, SPARTA, SPARTA!!!" Commentator: "That's Sparta's support you can hear right now". Well done you potato.

Caused by Torres giving them the ball lol

ffs

"It's the service to our strikers that's the problem, not the striker" lol ok

I hate him. I really do.

ffs

Starting to worry this could be a draw either us winning 1-0 or 2-1 then conceding something silly (I picture Cahill in my head for some reason) or a bore 0-0. Shame considering I put quite a bit on us & Ajax winning earlier. Hope I'm completely wrong.

Gomis seems to have more pace than i remember..

If you didn't see my big-ass post in the McEachran thread the other day, this may seem alien to you, but I've now turned gay for you. Going to get Gay4WHS on my next Chelsea top.

I look forward to every single game we play - fuck logic or how it affects the other comps we're in. I really do. Even if we were to be down by 8 goals after the first leg, I'd still be excited for the return leg always. I care about this game. I can't be the only one, right?

The moment he's gone I'm going to buy a pinata which has been made to look exactly like him and invite everyone round to bash at it while wearing blindfolds. It will be great.

Kinda want to go to the Ajax game assuming we both qualify. You just can't pass up European football in Amsterdam. The atmosphere created by the build up to the games AKA 'green stuff' is perfect