Vesper

agreed we clearly are not going to drop £85m (or more, it is the poison dwarf after all, and his release clause for £85m does not, I think, kick in until 2023) on Osimhen this summer perhaps we take a stab at Danjuma (if we dump some wingers and Werner), who is a winger but now plays more at CF Lautaro Martínez is never going to happen this summer (he is viable in terms of quality though) after that, the pickings are so slim this summer (and next summer as well, barring some big breakthrough, see my two picks, Noah Okafor and Evanilson, below for that), for viable CF's. The board really is picked clean for CF's barring the 3 above, it is just amazing (unless you count Nkunku next season as a CF as well, which I do not) Gianluca Scamacca is now off the board as well (West Ham) all the rest are off the board or not viable or just big gambles: the best 5 of the gambles, but still, absolute dice rolls Jonathan David (not sold on him, and he is more of an SS atm anyway) huge gamble Amine Gouiri wild gamble Patrik Schick real gamble and very expensive now potentially these next 2 MAY end up being really good CF's, but not at all sure atm Evanilson wild gamble Noah Okafor wild gamble finally: Youssoufa Moukoko wild WILD WILD gamble (bad attitude and his play has regressed) and is too young for the summer window, would have to be in January, after he turns 18 (thanks Brexit)

https://archive.ph/ade8V Jules Kounde is set to become Chelsea’s third summer signing, but head coach Thomas Tuchel has warned captain Cesar Azpilicueta that he may not be granted a move to Barcelona. Chelsea look to have beaten off competition from Barca for Kounde. They have agreed to pay Sevilla in the region of £55 million and have offered the defender a five-year contract. Having signed Raheem Sterling in a deal worth £50m and Kalidou Koulibaly for £34m, Chelsea’s new owners have now already committed £139m to new signings since taking over the club with more deals to follow. Barcelona president Joan Laporta appeared to concede defeat in the race to sign Kounde by telling a supporter in Las Vegas that the 23-year-old will move to Chelsea. Speaking at Universal Studios in Orlando on Friday, Tuchel refused to be drawn on Kounde but insisted his arrival would not automatically trigger Azpilicueta’s departure to Barcelona - particularly with the Spaniards unwilling to pay anywhere near what Chelsea spent on Koulibaly. And Tuchel admitted he is not entirely happy with Barcelona’s pursuit of Azpilicueta, who still has 12 months remaining on his contract. “I’m not sure if I want to give Azpi what he wants because at some point it’s also about us,” said Tuchel. “I use the example of Koulibaly who we pushed so hard for. He is a national player, he is a similar age as Azpi, the captain of Napoli. We have a Spanish international player, the captain of Chelsea and I see him maybe on the same level as Koulibaly but Barcelona does not see him on that level, so I’m not so sure I want to give Azpi what he wants because he’s a huge player.” Asked if he has been annoyed by Barcelona’s aggressive pursuit of Azpilicueta, Tuchel replied: “Maybe a little bit.” The anticipated signing of Kounde will bring to an end a year-long pursuit of the player for Chelsea, who almost signed him last summer before Sevilla moved the goalposts on the transfer fee. Kounde had appeared to have slipped down the pecking order of Chelsea targets this year until Matthijs de Ligt preferred a move to Bayern Munich and Nathan Ake decided to stay at Manchester City. The arrival of Kounde will further strengthen the defensive options of Tuchel, who has already signed Koulibaly from Napoli this summer. Koulibaly is in line to make his first Chelsea appearance in the club’s final game of their US tour against Arsenal in Orlando in the early hours of Sunday morning. Kounde can play on the right of a back three or at right wing-back, which will give Tuchel the option of also swapping Reece James between those two positions. Azpilicueta is keen to leave Chelsea this summer, with Barca willing to give him a two-year contract. Tuchel and Chelsea had told the 32-year-old that he must wait to find out if the club could land their targets before making a firm decision on his future. Azpilicueta did not feature in Chelsea’s last friendly against Charlotte FC, despite making the trip to the US, and has not spoken on his future during the club’s tour. Asked whether or not Azpilicueta’s motivation and performance levels can remain high if he wants to go, Tuchel said: “It’s maybe now a bit tough because the other club is on him, permanently on him and causes distraction. But at the start of September, normally when things calm down and things are clear, I’m very convinced he could play at his highest level.”

Bale had not won shit when Real signed him Kounde at least has

but he is a winger and is not fully recovered (as in proven to be fully recovered) he is (along with a tonne of others unfortunately) in the 2023 window target zone 7 that I can think of off the top of me head one of these 3 AMF/SS/Winger Christopher Nkunku (2023. due to €60m ie £51m release clause) Winger Federico Chiesa (next summer, due to injury) Winger/AMF Florian Wirtz (next summer, due to injury) and all of these (I know, madness) CMF Jude Bellingham (no release clause, unfornutely, Dortmund want at least €100m ie £85m next season) DMF Declan Rice (no release clause, unfornutely, so £100m or more) CB Josko Gvardiol (2023. due to release clause of (at least) €50m ie £43m) CF Victor Osimhen (wish he could do it NOW, his release clause is €100m ie £85m) for Nkunku plus the bottom 4 £364m at a minimum

exactly, as soon as I saw that claim I called bullshit as that is over £380K PW gross no chance in hell we dump out that much on any CB unless VVD was 26, 27yo, and not turning 32 a little less than a year from now maybe a 30yo Thiago (but who was to know he would remain WC until he was at least 38yo?) and maybe a 25. 26yo KK I cannot see us even dropping that much for any of these (the top 5 most valuable on T-Markt) maybe, maybe Dias, and maybe, maybe, down the road, de Ligt

Spanish publication MARCA now claim that Barca felt ‘attacked’ by Chelsea due to the West Londoners’ financial muscle. The Blues cannot quite spend as heavily as they did under former owner Roman Abramovich, but new owner Todd Boehly has proved that he will make big transfer warchests available to Thomas Tuchel. fucking cunts🤬

this season will tell if he is back to form after that bad knee injury

these we have to wait for next year Christopher Nkunku (2023. due to release clause) Federico Chiesa (next summer, due to injury) Florian Wirtz (next summer, due to injury) which leaves (realistic, so no Neymar or CR7 or Saka or perhaps, if he rebounds, Sancho, who then is NOT realistic) Rafael Leão Moussa Diaby left footer Arnaut Danjuma (and he often plays CF) Mikel Oyarzabal lefty Jarrod Bowen lefty then Carlos Soler (more of a MFer) Pedro Neto lefty Domenico Berardi lefty Kamaldeen Sulemana (stealth next Mane?) Rayan Cherki ambipedal Dominik Szoboszlai (more of a MFer) Charles De Ketelaere lefty (more of a MFer)

Perhaps we know we will fail with Milan Škriniar (so depressing if true) and also, that there is zero chance at Gvardiol (left footer) until next summer's release clause kicks in here again is the list I made of all true options left (and may are youth projects) after you remove Škriniar, Kounde, and Gvardiol bold are the most viable Alessandro Bastoni lefty (doesn't want to leave and has regressed a bit) Pau Torres lefty (not sold on him, Barca or Citeh may go for him) José María Giménez (far too often injured and too expensive, plus next summer will be his last window where you get a full sub 30yo season out of him, which is key for the money he would cost) Presnel Kimpembe lefty Evan Ndicka lefty Robin Le Normand Stefan de Vrij (if he was 25 26, 27, then hell yes) Merih Demiral Gonçalo Inácio lefty Roger Ibañez Thilo Kehrer Odilon Kossounou Castello Lukeba lefty Maxence Lacroix Abdou Diallo lefty (can play LB too) Piero Hincapié lefty Adam Webster David Carmo lefty Min-jae Kim Attila Szalai lefty Armel Bella-Kotchap

we were linked

Davide Calabria is a decent RB

https://www.muchodeporte.com/sevilla-fc/63550/kounde-finalmente-rumbo-a-lagos/ Sevilla FC left for Lagos this afternoon to continue preparing for the coming season. Obviously, the name in capital letters is that of Jules Koundé , who in principle was not part of the 31 players selected by Lopetegui... However, the Frenchman has appeared at the sports city. To keep training? To say goodbye to his companions? Around 6:00 p.m., the defender made an appearance at the Utrera highway compound, at the same time as the rest of his teammates. He wasn't summoned, so it was rare to see him if he wasn't going to Lagos. The morning work was done alone. In the afternoon, at that time, it is not very common for a training session to start at this time of the year. Finally, as Muchodeporte has been able to confirm , Koundé has gotten on the bus and is traveling to Portugal. The player himself has asked to do so so as not to be alone in the sports city and thus continue working with more means (physios, masseuses, doctors...) than if he stayed in Seville going to the sports city with less support for his recovery. Koundé works at a slower pace as he recently had pubic surgery. This fact should not spoil the negotiation between Sevilla and Chelsea. In fact, the agreement is close. Of course, it has not been finished. An operation of such magnitude entails a multitude of details that have not yet been resolved. It is in it. Sevilla's intention is that everything is closed at 65 million euros, including variables. Meanwhile, Barça buys time trying to convince the player to wait for the money to arrive at the Blaugrana entity and thus be able to make a powerful offer in days. The player must head to London sooner rather than later, but such an extreme cannot be taken for granted until the million-dollar operation is completed one hundred percent. At the moment, Koundé was not going to go to Lagos... and he is already on his way to Portuguese lands.

if the Kounde deal is actually scuppered by Barca, and if you take Gvardiol (2023 release clause in only viable way to buy him) off the board then we are down to these CB buy options Milan Skriniar Alessandro Bastoni Pau Torres José María Giménez Presnel Kimpembe Evan Ndicka Robin Le Normand Stefan de Vrij Merih Demiral Gonçalo Inácio Roger Ibañez Thilo Kehrer Odilon Kossounou Castello Lukeba Maxence Lacroix Abdou Diallo Piero Hincapié Adam Webster David Carmo Min-jae Kim Attila Szalai Armel Bella-Kotchap

looking like we just might get fucked in the arse by a dwarf I can assure one and assure all that THAT was never on my bucket list 🧟‍♀️

and the turns-downs by Marina of £55m for Alonso, £45m for Azpi plus all sorts of very reasonable offers for Bakayoko, RLC, etc etc etc etc nightmarish

make sure to buy one of these

it's a term (called palanca in Spanish) for selling off previously closely-held assets (usually just a percentage, not the entire asset class itself) in order to gain liquidity for further investment and/or to pay off previous debt loads

Spotify buys naming rights on FC Barcelona’s massive stadium Camp Nou will be rebranded as Spotify Camp Nou https://www.theverge.com/2022/3/15/22979943/spotify-camp-nou-barcelona-stadium

roflmaoooooooooooo Marina, is that you?