AVGN speaking to Ashley Cole:
"Stop putting your money where your fucking mouth is, and kick some god-damn balls, or I'm going to shove a soccer boot up your fucking asshole!!"
AVGN speaking to Didier Drogba when he's falling over and playing badly:
"God Damn it!! You can't stop attracting yourself to the fucking ground. Stop trying to hump the floor and actually start scoring goals."
AVGN speaking generally to the team after a bad first half performance:
"Oh my god that first half was the most god awful display I've ever fucking seen! I'd rather let a cow vomit up my asshole and shit in my mouth and then let it suffocate me by sitting on my chest and break my ribs, than watch that performance!! Get a fucking grip out there!!! Get into the opponent's faces. *hands all the players a beer each* here, some rolling rock for you all. Hopefully that should clip jetpacks to you asses and then actually start playing rather than piss and shit all over the pitch!! Now get out there and win a fucking game!!! GOD DAMN IT!!! *throws drinking water bottle on the floor*
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Generally, I think James Rolfe would be a fantastic manager!