Wayne Bridge

[Fulham Broadway 16,437]

WAYNE BRIDGE'S WORLD CUP DREAM RUINED BY JOHN TERRY'S PENIS

;MANCHESTER City defender Wayne Bridge today admitted his World Cup dream had been destroyed by the penis of John Terry.

Messi dream ruined by small, hyperactive penis

He said: "If you'd asked me three years ago if I thought I would have to retire from international football and see my dream of playing in the World Cup torn from my grasp because John Terrys knob I would probably have said 'no'."

The statement continued: "Today I think back on all those times we stood next to each other in the showers at Stamford Bridge and I would inadvertently catch sight of Johns John Thomas

"Not once did it occur to me that his piece of pork would one day prevent me from swapping jerseys with Lionel Messi."

He added: "As a professional footballer you always worry that your dreams could be ruined by a cruciate ligament injury or possibly even a nasty groin strain.

"But if a groin is going to have a negative impact on your career then it should, at least, be your own."

The full-back said he wished the squad the best of luck in South Africa except for Terry who he hopes is eaten alive by a dirty great crocodile, starting with his cock.

Bridge issued a statement through his lawyers, ruling himself out of England selection, insisting his place in the squad had been made untenable by his former Chelsea team-mate's desire to ejaculate every five minutes.

[Kez 2,727]

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