Men v Women.....shower rules

[Aesthetic Relic 301]

How to Shower Like a Woman

Take off clothes and place them sectioned in laundry basket.

Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.

If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.

Get in the shower.

Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.

Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.

Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean

Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced.

Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.

Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. ( I am currently trying to find where I can purchase this)

Rinse conditioner off hair.

Shave armpits and legs.

Turn off shower.

Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.

Spray mould spots with Tile cleaner.

Get out of shower.

Dry with towel the size of a small country.

Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.

Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.

If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

How To Shower Like a Man

Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.

Walk naked to the bathroom.

If you see wife along the way, shake willy at her making the 'woo-woo' sound.

Look at your manly physique in the mirror.

Admire the size of your willy and scratch your bum.

Get in the shower.

Wash your face.

Wash your armpits.

Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.

Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.

Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.

Wash your bum, leaving those coarse bum hairs stuck on the soap.

Wash your hair.

Make a Shampoo Mohawk.

Wee.

Rinse off and get out of shower.

Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of bath the whole time.

Admire willy size in mirror again.

Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.

Return to bedroom with towel around waist.

If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake Willy at her and make the 'woo-woo' sound again.

Throw wet towel on bed.

I KNOW YOU'RE LAUGHING BECAUSE ITS TRUE!!!

Edited October 20, 2008 by Tri-Blue

[terry26 6]

read before but still classic

i love the references to the "woo woo" sound

[Aesthetic Relic 301]

read before but still classic

i love the references to the "woo woo" sound

Yeah...I was in stitches when I read that bit ......"woo woo "

[terry26 6]

hahaha i dont think the girls will be saying that in the Sexiest men thread anymore

[Aesthetic Relic 301]

hahaha i dont think the girls will be saying that in the Sexiest men thread anymore

You never know....some of them might be blessed with a woo woo

[Kez 2,727]

Oh god

woo woo!

[warnie_666 1,081]

Hey Tri Blue...You missed the part where the man pees in the bath tub

Here you go.

[Kez 2,727]

Wee.

It's there lol

[chelseagirlkate 1]

Lol funny stuff! typical men!! haha

[BlueLion. 21,491]

LMFAO Brilliant!