Eidur the Spider

BREAKING NEWS Chelsea are set to begin negotiations next week as they increase their efforts to sign Arsenal midfielder Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain. Manager Antonio Conte has closely monitored events at the Emirates this summer with Oxlade-Chamberlain so far refusing to sign an improved contract from Arsenal. We understand that earlier this week the player once again reiterated to manager Arsene Wenger that he had no intention of signing the deal presently on offer. Arsenal are due back in the UK on Sunday with Chelsea expected to begin negotiations within 48 hours of their return.

Sooooooo pleased with this transfer. Cannot wait to see him working and maturing under Conte. Up the blues and welcome Morata!!

Sign him up and quickly before we get gazumped for the millionth time

Lets get some players in now then! Back him!!

WE SIGNED SOMEONE!!!!

Probably had a kick-about with Pogba in LA, realised he wasn't in the same universe as N'Golo Kante and changed his mind. It happens.

Waiting for this announcement like....

It's like fancying a girl a little bit but not really caring. Then someone else asks her out so you go mental & propose #Lukaku #CFC

Imagine Lukaku deciding to join us, breaks the news to Pogba while on holiday with him. Holiday romance over. Scenes.

Lukaku wanted to come to Chelsea but his first touch took him to Man United and now his second touch has taken him back to Chelsea. Ffs

Love the look of this guy, seems hungry and aggressive when the chances come. I think he could link up well with players like Cesc. Seems like a Conte type striker for me.

Perfect for depth. Love this signing. Add Morata too and we're good to go.

Conte has just heard the news...

We are living in past market prices clearly. The football world has gone mental but we've made a shit tonne of money back from sales and winning the league, champions league revenue, the Nike deal. WHY THE HELL ARE WE PENNY PINCHING?!?!?!

Only three I can think of is Aubameyang, Belotti and Morata. Surely we aren't that foolish that we don't have someone lined up already to replace Diego?! I'm hoping in the coming hours we will hear of a bid for someone, from a good source, but it's just wishful thinking at this point. We are floundering in this market.

Penny for your thoughts Antonio? We're great at selling for profit but in terms of buying its a painfully slow and dog shit process.

HAHAHAHAHA This fucking club. Wonder if we're gonna go in for Morata now? Seriously though, I'm not the 'overly worried' type but Im starting to freak out a lot over our lack of activity. Rudiger deal seems as slow as me on the football pitch and strikers are getting snapped up when we are losing our best striker since Didier. Jesus guys, get some deals done! Why are we always sitting on our bloody hands?

I hope this isn't gonna be another 'throw all our eggs in one basket only for it to turn to shit' type deals where we sign the striker equivalent of Djilobodji.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Nope.

I'd prefer to form my own opinion after watching him play for us.

I just decided, after the last few seasons of transfer activity not to get completely carried away when we were linked with the likes of Bonucci and VVD. So when we go and sign someone like Rudiger, who has been on our radar it seems for a fair while, I'm not as disappointed as a LOT on here. Not saying they are wrong to be disappointed, I just think slagging off a player before he kicks a ball for us is something I don't like about modern football. At the end of the day, he is going to become a Chelsea player very soon, so we've gotta show a bit of faith in him, but slating the guy before he even kicks a ball or attempts a tackle is a bit much. It sounds spoilt and self entitled. Just my opinion.