Proof That C. Ronaldo Is Gay.

[.Cee 50]

[Fulham Broadway 17,513]

Not sure, the jury's still out;

Wayne Rooney said. (After 108 "Er's" were edited out of his comments):

"He's not gay. He might look it, but I was in a bar in Manchester when he ordered a drink. This barmaid smiled at him, and he smiled back. It was beautiful. You could tell he wasn't a bender - not 100% bent anyway."

Ferguson, speaking through an interpreter, said:

"The lad's definitely not a shirtlifter, although there was that incident in the showers with Ji-sung Park."

But there are those who say that the Portushirtlifter does have homosexual tendencies.

A former team mate, Holland's Ruuud van Nistelrooooy, who had to leave Old Trafford because of the rampant and uncontrolled gender-bending he said was going on there, claimed he had been "bum bothered" by Retardo on a number of occasions, and this had led to a personal goal drought.

"He finished me off at United", said the Dutchman.

Carlos Queiroz, who, because he has better English language skills than manager Ferguson, handled all the Match Of The Day post-match interviews, disputed this, saying:

"Ole! Retardo a puff? That's crazy! Mind you, there was that "lewd act" business on holiday, when he was caught giving mouth to cock resusitation, but he explained that''

[.Cee 50]

LOL

[Kez 2,727]

Second one is hilarious

[.Cee 50]

First one is more hilarious because it's not made up...